Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Karaoke with The Flipflopper

The Flipflopper and I go way back to when I ran with the Poisonous crowd. We fought almost instantly the first time we met. The Flipflopper likes to put on a persona of being an arrogant asshole, and i have to wonder if he does so in order to cover up his insecurities. For whatever reason, I saw The Flipflopper as a challenge, and my competitive spirit drew me to him.

The problem with The Flipflopper is that he picks fights with me. We could be having a perfectly enjoyable date, and end it with insults and swearing each other off. But the Flipflopper always comes back, usually in the form of a pathetic (and very intoxicated) love sick puppy dog at 3 in the morning.

The Flipflopper is so bad, he actually chose to argue about who should get the condom rather than just reach over and get it so he could get laid. He also claims that I'm the love of his life. When I entered into my most recent relationship, The Flipflopper, who has been known to lecture me about loyalty, stopped talking to me because I refused to cheat on my new boyfriend with him.

So upon my return to singledom, I'm sure you can imagine my hesitation in informing him I am once again available. But some bored, lonely night, I clued him in and awaited his invitation.

It came on a very hectic day for me. I was helping with a small conference in Phoenix, after which I was to lead the inaugural brewery tour for my startup. I should mention, too, that the tour guide I employ is my most recent ex-, so I guess one could say I was desiring some sort of rebound action. The Flipflopper invited me to karaoke, a favorite past time of ours and the Poisonous group way back when, and one that often led to crazy drunken shenanigans once the bars closed. I was delighted, I figured that would certainly be a fantastic way to get some affection and blow off some steam at the end of a very busy day and week. I knew I'd be tired, but affection can be a good motivator.

So after a successful first brewery tour, I was mentally high on my success and physically drained of all energy, and in that state I drove myself to the karaoke bar I once frequented. This was the most recent bar at which I was known by my karaoke name L-Dub.

The Flipflopper wasn't there just yet, but I was early. I went to use the restroom and fix myself up a little, and when i came out, he was sitting at the bar by himself. I brushed his arm as I approached and took the seat next to him, interlacing my legs between his. He ordered us drinks and we talked, my hands never leaving his leg. I was going to make it clear I wanted kisses.

I didn't put any songs in to sing, I let him serenade me with his usual death metal. Two of his friends showed up shortly after, an apparent couple I had never met before. The four of us played darts, and I think The Flipflopper and I won. More importantly, after every turn, he'd wrap his hands around my waist and kiss me just right. We kissed a lot, and we didn't actually fight!

A few days later, he called me on my way to work asking me to come over and cuddle with him. I told him it was really important to go to work today, but that I would come over as soon as he was off work around 9. He agreed to call me, I went through my whole day looking forward to snuggling up with the teddy bear that is The Flipfloppper.

I am a flipflopper emotionally sometimes - I go back and forth between wanting to be pursued, thus waiting for the phone call, and feeling empowered as a confident woman, thus making the call myself. As I'm thinking about it, it seems I revert to the latter when I really want something, otherwise its just not that important so I don't waste my time. Anyways, when he hadnt called by 9:30, I had this debate with myself again, and the empowered woman won.

When he picked up, his voice immediately revealed he was groggy, and he admitted he was sick and so had left work early and had been sleeping. We agreed to reschedule.

The Flipflopper called me today to tell me he's moving to Mexico tomorrow.

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