A Voice-Activated Speaker Does Not A Smart Home Make

I'm a futurist and a self-proclaimed cautious technophile. What I mean is, I love to see new technologies and what they can do for our lives, but I am not already, or even usually, an early adopter. When I think the tech is too buggy or not yet sufficiently practical, I hold back and watch, and see which brands win the race. My fascination and strategy heralds back to the first time I heard about a CD burner you could buy and use to put data or music on CDs. The ad was in a magazine I was reading, and the new-fangled device cost over $1000. I knew I wanted one, but not yet; the burn speed was slow, the tech was just too new, and I was a kid who'd have a hard time convincing my parents I needed a $1000 toy. I was also one of the last along my peers to convert from a flip phone to a smart phone, and to ditch my handheld Garmin GPS device. I'd be lying if I said sentimentality wasn't a part of the latter transition, but the primary reason was that early smart phone navigation just wasn't as good as my aging Garmin device.

On the contrary, as you may have read elsewhere, I jumped in with both feet, even against others' cautionary advice, in buying one of the first 500 Chevrolet Volts. I did so for two primary reasons and two secondary reasons (because I never do anything for just one good reason): namely, (1) I believed in the

technology, because unlike phones and CD burners, cars are highly regulated and I had faith that GM wouldn't release a bad car, (2) I presumed that GM would "pull the plug" on the Volt product line before it really established itself, #FOMO, (3) I wanted to show that there was market demand for the electric car or mostly-electric hybrid, as well as for the public chargers, and (4) I thought I was the perfect test subject to demonstrate the tech in real life and tell a fabulous story. L'il Red, as I called her, had some "new car model quirks" as could only be expected, but overall, exceeded and outperformed all expectations. I initially admitted that it wasn't a truly economically wise decision, because based on the expected long-term life of the battery and the cost of replacing said battery, even projecting some reduction in price over that time, paired with the high upfront price tag, it was still cheaper to buy an economic, efficient gas car. But, after living with her for a few months, I got smarter around the benefits, and performed an elaborate total cost of ownership analysis, including everything from the cost of the electric that replaced that gas, to the higher insurance premium and registration costs, to the minimized wear and tear on brake pads thanks to regenerative braking, and the bi-annual oil change she required. I calculated that the break even point, compared to an economic and efficient gas car, came at about 8 years, assuming no battery replacement and moderate battery degradation. It would be a stretch, I knew, because the battery had a warranty of just 7 years, and I knew my car would be operating in one of the most battery-hostile environments in the country - Phoenix, AZ. The crushing heat, indeed, so severely impacted the Nissan Leafs many of my local peers bought at the same time, that they were able to pursue litigation and return the cars under lemon laws. Take that, Volt Nay-Sayers! But I had to wait 8 years for the real happy ending; Chevy Volt # 492 is still going strong and fast approaching her 9th birthday. While a part of me knows she can turn the corner any day now, and I'd be better off getting rid of her because she does, a part of me just wants to see it to the end, to see just how far she'll go. And the practical side of me knows I'm driving for literally pennies per mile now, having no car payment and rarely needing gas or maintenance, and it's hard to think about taking all those burdens on again, remembering to fill up before work or getting her oil changed every few months, or paying on a car loan. Ugh!

Now back to the point of the story. I guess Smart Home tech may still be late in the early adopter phase, or just barely into the early part of the early majority phase, I'm not quite sure. Needless to say, I was a hard sell on this one. Buying into Smart Home tech, I realized early on, meant buying into a brand's ecosystem, and being locked in by an overwhelming cost to convert. That was cause for great hesitation, and decision paralysis when I did decide to invest.

But my hesitation was probably driven more by the lack of clarity around the value it would bring to my life. I imagined walking around my house, verbally arguing with every device and talking to my speakers like they were a servant I was micromanaging, and pulling the plug, resetting devices and manually flipping switches when they refused to do as I said. Would I ever start talking to it like a friend? Not in this decade, I thought, but someday, probably. I just really couldn't see how talking to a device was that big of an improvement over flipping a light switch or an app on my phone. But I was also curious, maybe it would be an improvement. After all, I didn't think a laptop would ever be a practical replacement for a power house desktop where I had a designated spot to work on, until I had a laptop and never touched a desktop again. And I didn't think a tablet was needed when I had a laptop and a phone, but it found a place in my device spectrum that added value too. So, in the same way that my curiosity around AR led me to insist we play Pokemon Go, I knew I needed to get some Smart Home stuff going. But which brand? And what devices do I really want? Unlike Smartphones that are all-encompassing in their technology adoption, buy the phone and you're now a Smartphone user, Smart Home covers an array of inputs and results and automation or lack thereof.

I did a lot of research, and at the time of my decision point in late 2018, I came to two conclusions: Google was currently better at interpreting and responding, and Alexa was going to get better in the future. I weighed the other pro's and con's. Amazon has Audible, and I listen to a lot of audio books. Google Home would have to stream from my phone to play, while Echos can pull directly from my Audible account. I already used Amazon Music as my primary source of music - make fun of me if you will here, I know that's not what all the kids are using these days, but every time I've tried another streaming service, I've found myself wanting to go back to Amazon Music. I even put myself on an Amazon diet by listening exclusively to the music streaming services Google Home uses for a couple months. I have a lot of faith in Google's ability to grow their databases and for their assistant to become more human-like. But beyond search, there isn't much else that I use or need from Google. I don't really use Google Calendar, so its not like I would use it to remind me of events, etc. On the other hand, I buy things from Amazon, and much of my media consumption is through Amazon. So I was leaning towards Amazon, but still not 100% convinced it would properly interpret voice commands as well as the data-powered Google.

I started out brand-agnostic, buying plugs that work with both Amazon's Alexa and Google Home. I stumbled across a Google Home Mini that had been returned and was marked down as a result, so I bought it. Then, when Amazon was having a sale on its devices, I bought an Echo Dot. I put the Echo Dot in my bedroom and the Mini in my kitchen, and I tested them head-to-head to see which one responded more accurately and more hilariously. I also noticed the sound quality while listening to music and audio books. In the end, Amazon's ecosystem and quality won me over.

While the funny Easter eggs and silly games are entertaining from time to time, I still wasn't sure what to do to make my home "Smart." My boyfriend bought me an Ecobee thermostat for Christmas. I know Nest is well-known and popular or whatever, but I had an older model of Ecobee at my first house and I loved the features, internet connectivity and smart phone app. We installed the Ecobee and connected that to my Alexa. I bought an Echo and a few more Dots to put around the house. I started to really enjoy listening to music or audiobooks in multiple rooms, although the audiobooks on multiple speakers was wonky and didn't always work properly or at all. I had three things on smart plugs: a floor lamp in my family room, a desk lamp by my bed, and the Christmas tree lights. I set a digital timer on the Christmas tree lights, but also added it to routines to turn on like when I came home.
My new house came with a wifi and app-compatible garage door opener, which I've used extensively in lieu of bringing a house key and fumbling with the door lock on my morning runs. However, the garage door opener and app don't work with Alexa, only Google. Can't we all just (make our apps) get along? I'm not saying I would use it often, but it would be nice to be able to shut the garage door with Alexa. Ah well, it all goes to my phone and I can still control it from there.

Here's the thing: I just don't think a few smart speakers and plugs that turn lights on, and even a connected thermostat, make my home smart. But what other options are there? Dimming lights or color changing lights? I just don't see the need for that. I know I've said that about laptops and tablets before, but really, this time. The commercials show people using a video screen to check their cameras, but again, I just have a hard time seeing the need for that in my case. Maybe if I had a pet pig I was worried about, or a baby for that matter, but I have neither.

Then, there was an attempted burglary in my neighborhood, stopped by a Ring doorbell, so I decided to, for the first time in my life, get some cameras for security. I'm a big believer in minimizing subscription fees, however (says the girl who hasn't lived without Amazon Prime for a decade, and subscribes to Audible and Kindle Unlimited and Amazon Music Unlimited…). With cameras, I really don't see a need to pay for monitoring or really, anything fancy. I just want the piece of mind that if something happened, I'd capture it on video and be able to show the police, or have evidence of who or what or whatever. After another extensive read of many camera reviews, I went with the Amazon Cloud Cams, because you can have three on your account with 24 hours of footage for free, and the subscription to have more access and more cameras and more

features was reasonably priced as well. I haven't paid for the subscription yet at this point, and am quite happy with the freebie service on my three cameras. I even got a fourth camera and set it up on my boyfriend's phone, it's a wider view of an otherwise redundant angle from what I have on my phone, just to capture more if/when needed. The bonus is, if the Amazon in-home delivery thing ever takes off, I have the proper camera for it already (amateur tip: I actually bought the special edition camera made just for this purpose, although I'm not sure its any different than my other Cloud Cams).

Well, wouldn't you know it, the camera facing my front door doesn't work well unless the front porch light is on. I live on a fairly busy street so when the porch light is off, every car driving by with its headlights on, which should be every car at night hopefully, sets off the motion sensor. I suffered through turning the light on in the evening and trying to remember to turn it off in the morning for far too many weeks while I once again hesitated on what technological solution I wanted to use to attack this new issue I created for myself. I was going between a smart light switch - which would be complicated because the specific lights were on a switch with three others - or smart bulbs which I could program and control with Alexa but would likely need a hub, or an unsmart solution which could be dusk-to-dawn light bulbs, or normal bulbs with dusk-to-dawn sensors attached between the bulb and the light fixture, or I could just get better at turning the lights on and off, or I could suck it up and leave them on all the time because it didn't really cost that much to have them on during the day anyways. I suffered and suffered, and finally decided I couldn't live with the current situation of either leaving them on or remembering to turn them off and on. I didn't love the idea of buying the dusk-to-dawn adapters, because they make the bulbs stick out further from the fixtures. I knew this from experience at my last house. Pro tip: If you go this route, do not use CFL bulbs. The reason is that when the darkness triggers the power, the CFL takes just a split second too long to warm up and light up, causing the adapter to read that as a different source of light, like the sun, and then sending the signal to turn off. The CFL turns off, it gets dark again, and it triggers the CFL to turn on, and so on. The result is a constant flickering that is unattractive, but also wears out your 7-year CFL bulbs to a matter of days of life. I also didn't want to buy dusk-to-dawn lightbulbs or smart lightbulbs because those would have to be replaced over and over again. But, my light switch wouldn't easily be converted to a smart switch because of all the other switches it was associated with. So I continued to suffer. Finally, there was a sale on dusk-to-dawn lightbulbs, and I pulled the trigger, knowing that the price was worth my sanity, at least for now. I love how they work right now. I'm still not sold on the value for the money, but since the cost is in my past for now, I love them.
While perusing through Home Depot for something completely unrelated, I saw a promotional display with those battery-operated motion sensor lights. They weren't too expensive, so I thought I'd buy one and stick it in my wardrobe closet to see if I liked it. It turned out to be instantly useful and appreciated. Not only did the motion sensor work like a charm, almost entirely eliminating my need to flick on and off the light switch as I went in and out of my closet during my morning and evening routines, but it was less shockingly bright and therefore a bit more pleasant. But battery-operated things need battery replacements, and I am lazy, and didn't get to it for a while, so it sat idle on my ceiling for quite some time before I finally replaced the batteries. I think it was more useful for a secondary purpose: it showed me that I prefer motion sensors to light switches or voice-activation in some cases, namely, closets. Its relevant to point out here that I get up substantially earlier than my boyfriend, and so I don't exactly want to be walking around in the morning shouting commands to Alexa everywhere I go. Ultimately, I got another one of the battery-powered motion sensor lights for a hall closet that has a light just outside the closet but not inside, and I love it there just as much as I love it in my wardrobe closet, and for my wardrobe closet, I plan on replacing the light fixture in there with a wired motion sensor light fixture so I can just leave the light switch on and it will turn on and off as I need it to.

What I'm getting at here, is, a truly useful, technologically-enhanced home is not necessarily just these new Smart Home accessories. Duck-to-dawn and motion sensor technologies, and digital timer plugs, have been around for a long time. Come to think of it, sound commands for toggling lights isn't even a new thing with these Smart devices. Clap on, clap off, anyone? I think maybe the really clever applications would be where these old technologies can be used in concert with some of the newer technologies to enhance their features. I think motion sensor lights either got a bad rap from the outdoor flood light application, or are just completely underappreciated. Besides the desire to not disturb my boyfriend in the morning, or for him to disturb me late at night when I'm in bed, I would almost want just about all lights in my house to be motion-sensored. Except maybe not, because the family room light may go off on me if I'm still enough, and that's not the desired effect. Same with the bathroom. (In fact, this happens with my motion-sensor light at my office frequently, but at least I have giant windows that let in a lot of natural light so long as its not dark or stormy outside.) And then there's the bedroom light that we wouldn't want to turn on and off when someone is trying to sleep. So maybe not, really, but I could imagine some clever smart solutions, like: the bedroom lights could be motion sensor lights with a smart switch, and then you could put a timer on the smart switch so that it turns off at bed time and turns back on in the morning; that way the light would turn on in the evening if I'm putting laundry away or just passing through to go to the bathroom, for example, but wouldn't turn on when he comes to bed or when I wake up in the early morning.

For what it's worth, I've always had a strong preference for, and many applications of, motion sensor or dusk-to-dawn nightlights; I use them throughout my house but especially in the hallway from the guest room to the guest bathroom, in both bathrooms, and in the pathway from the bedroom to the kitchen, etc. The main thought behind that is to make sure there is just barely enough light to walk around the house in the middle of the night safely

without causing a lot of light pollution or crazy electric bills or blinding you making it harder to adjust back to the dark, etc. Specifically, I use motion sensor night lights where I don't want the light on all the time, like in the bathroom, and these are typically a bit brighter. I used to use one in the hallway outside my bedroom when I lived alone, because I was paranoid about the idea of someone coming into my house that way, I guess at least I would have a few seconds of warning that someone was coming? In the main living area, I have those color changing dusk-to-dawn night lights because I think they are pretty and they give off just enough light.

So while I may not be past the point of resisting, and am bought into my chosen brand of smart things, I still think we have a long way to go before common homes are truly smart. Like, why can't my front door camera recognize my car or my boyfriend's car and automatically open the garage door for us? And why doesn't the garage door close when we're clearly done in the garage and coming inside, or when the camera sees that we've driven away? My thermostat has an occupancy sensor so if it realizes we've been away longer than normal and I forgot to set a vacation setting, it will automatically adjust the temperature to reduce costs. Why couldn't my floor lamp connect into the same kind of occupancy sensor so that it would go beyond a simply motion sensor and stay on so long as someone is in the room and hasn't gone to bed yet? If my thermostat is on vacation mode, why can't I have it recognize when I'm 20 miles away and automatically resume normal schedules at that time to heat or cool the house prior to my arrival without my intervention? Why can't I set my back porch light to turn on when the camera sees me go to the door? I have my wifi password written on a cute decorative board near the entrance to the house for guests (and for me because, let's face it, I forget it), but for some reason, Alexa won't say the wifi password even when I tried to program it as a routine. What's up with that Alexa? And why can't I write notes on my shower door that are translated into notes on my phone when I'm done showering? Okay, maybe the last one is a little ridiculous, but you see it, right?

Here are some things I do thoroughly enjoy that are technologically cool and/or "Smart." 

I have a really fancy Japanese Toto toilet/washlet that has a remote control, a motion sensor and a small light. When I use the toilet in the middle of the night, the toilet sees me coming and automatically runs a quick rinse cycle and turns on the fan and the light, so I don't actually need a light in the toilet room. The seat temperature is maintained at the warmest level because nothing is worse than a cold toilet seat in the middle of the night. When I'm done with my business, I use the remote to activate the bidet, controlling the water temperature, angle and pressure. I can choose for it to oscillate and/or pulsate. Then I hit another button on the remote to activate the blow dryer, and change the temperature of the air if needed. The washlet is pressure sensitive as well, so when I stand up, it takes a quick second to realize I'm no longer sitting and shuts the fan off automatically. This will work for the water spraying bidet as well, but you run the risk of water splashing outside the toilet if you try this, so I don't recommend it. I love my Toto! It was expensive and requires a plug near the toilet which is not always readily available for this purpose, but it is TOTO-lly worth it. See what I did there? Yeah, it's that awesome.
I mentioned my Ecobee thermostat a couple times but I want to highlight just how amazing it is to be able to turn the heat on in the early morning when you're freezing in bed and don't want to get up out of the covers to turn the heat on. Also similarly life-changing when you're hot and want to turn the A/C up. The added benefit of the integration with Alexa means now I don't even have to have my phone. Since I have Alexa devices all around my house, all I have to do is say it to no direction in particular, and one of the devices will pick it up and confirm back that it has adjusted the heat or A/C.  I love the vacation mode feature and the app, so that I can make updates on the go. When I lived alone and was going to evening school after work, I basically scheduled it as if I wouldn't be home until midnight, and then whenever I was headed home, I would simply adjust the temperature on my app and the house would be adjusted by the time I got there. My schedule is a little more regular these days, so I usually just keep it on a good schedule and once its adjusted just right, I don't often need to make voice commands or changes on the app.

I also mentioned my garage door opener that came with my new house. It is Chamberland branded and works with the myQ app. One of the dumbest things I get paranoid about is whether or not I shut the garage door. I've left the garage door open all night, and since I don't lock the door going into the house from the garage, and I don't lock my cars in the garage, my cars and everything in them as well as my house and my sleeping self was completely exposed to bad actors. Luckily, nothing has ever happened that I know of, but the few times it has been a possibility scares the crap out of me. So the best thing about the myQ app is that it can be set to tell you if the garage has been open for more than 5 minutes. Whether I'm at work or in the house, I will know in short time if I've made that mistake, and can close it from the app without even being home or getting up from the couch or bed or whatnot. The added bonus is that I can open and close it with my phone, so no more running from the button, over the lasers and under the closing door. I added a camera in the garage, so now if my boyfriend is home and happens to leave the garage door open, I can use the camera to peak into the garage to see if he's working in there or doing yard work, etc., or if his car is gone and he forgot to close it. I think all that is pretty neat, but mostly importantly, the alert. It definitely alleviates a lot of anxiety for me.
I have a Weight Gurus scale that links to an app on my phone which then links with my FitBit app which also links to the MyFitnessPal app. I love the interconnectivity, and also love that my weight and BMI gets recorded automatically. Even if I forgot or don't bother to sync it with my phone at the time of weighing myself, it will save the data for the next time I open the app to sync it with the scale and fill in all the missed history. It knows the difference between my boyfriend and I (usually - it got confused when I lost weight rapidly once and didn't know who I was for weeks). Overall, it’s a great smart product that makes my life just that much better and reminds me of my health goals.

As far as the Alexa products and service themselves, there is a lot to like, and a few things to really love.

• One feature I've figured out and put to use recently is to set a sleep timer and then play music. You can stream whatever music you want, and it will shut off when the sleep timer runs out so its not playing all night. Love it! 
• The whisper feature they show on the commercials actually works pretty well, and I've found that useful. 
• I don't use it to manage too much of my life like they show on commercials, like, I don't have it do calendar events or add to my shopping lists or anything like that. But I have a very useful application of the reminder feature: reminding me to check in to a flight 24 hours early. I often have business trips flying out on a Monday, and the day before I'm at home relaxing, reading, etc, and not necessarily paying attention to my phone. My phone may very well remind me to check in, but that's not helpful if I'm not looking at it. So I have Alexa remind me, which interrupts any music or audiobook I'm listening to, and speaks loud enough for me to hear it if I'm watching TV or napping. It's just enough to get my attention to check in right on time, and when you're flying Southwest a lot, you know how important that is!
• The music in multiple rooms seems pretty simple, but is a major reason why I got the devices. The audio books on there are good, too, but like I mentioned before, setting up audiobooks for multiple rooms/speakers has been pretty buggy and doesn't quite work right (yet). It can only improve, I presume, if Amazon knows what's up.
• The devices light up yellow when I have a delivery, which is handy to come home to and see that there may be a package at my door or in my mailbox, if I didn't happen to see it on my camera. Its also handy when I'm just hanging out at the house, as is the camera alert that lets me see that the carrier is delivering something. And for as much as I buy on Amazon, this is a really big deal.
• Turning on and off lights with vocal commands is still a very minor feature for me, more of a bonus I think, but I will admit it is convenient (if not a little enabling of utter laziness) to not have to get up as the sun goes down to turn the light on. It's not as life-changing as controlling the thermostat, for example, but still a nicety. If you have a lot of people in the house, I'd say that there's the added bonus that it doesn't require a person to have the app on their phone, it takes orders from anyone when it comes to turning lights on or off.
• There are, of course, a few Easter Eggs as well as lots of news-related features, but those are mostly novelties in my opinion. The one feature in this category that I do find incredibly useful is asking Alexa if its going to rain today or tomorrow. She is much more efficient in answering this question than I am when trying to find and interpret the weather on whatever app I'm using.

In conclusion, I'm not convinced we're quite ready to say that homes are now really smart yet, but I think there are some neat applications of current technology, and I think there are a lot of opportunities for more exciting applications in the future. Now that I’m bought in, I will hopefully be a part of the early adopter crowd going forward.

Steal This Idea: Reduce/Eliminate Amazon Packaging

I've recently become hyper-aware of the excess amount of packaging coming into my household with the addition of Amazon subscriptions to my life and the lack of recycling in my part of Florida. (First of all, get with the program, Florida! Really!!) My initial idea for a solution was reusing the packaging, which would involve a complex reverse supply chain and notification system to identify when Amazon packaging was ready for pickup, what kind, and where it would be, and then figuring out how to reduce costs to make this a viable business solution for Amazon to gather these used materials and reuse them efficiently. It was a mess. So I had to take a step back and figure out what was the real problems to be solved.

Problem #1: Amazon has to reasonably protect the item during the delivery process.
Problem #2: Excessive use of cardboard, plastic and paper was resulting in wasted resources that would be 100% mitigated if the item was purchased in a store.
Problem #3: Reusability of packaging materials is challenging, complex and expensive, and ultimately not good business.
Problem #4: Recycling these excessive materials doesn't completely eliminate or resolve the first problem.

Now, let's talk about some of the many, many resources available.
Resource #1: Amazon has purchased a number of brick-and-mortar stores and has started opening its own brick-and-mortar stores as well.
Resource #2: Amazon has begun limited testing of drone delivery.
Resource #3: RFID and other near-field technology is prominent and getting cheaper.
Resource #4: Autonomous vehicles, including trucks, are already on the roads and getting smarter.

It is feasible to imagine reducing the protective packaging needs if shipments aren't traveling from a DC through the mail. Instead, let's say I order my usual 12-pack of flavored Ice Waters, and it is placed in an autonomous truck at a brick-and-mortar store (or a DC for that matter), and carried to my porch by a drone launched from the truck. There's really no need to put it in a box now, as long as the drone has a way to pick it up, move it and set it down. If protection of the product while awaiting my receipt of it is important, maybe we look at the old milk man model: they utilized a cooler in which the milk was placed and thus protected from the elements. Amazon customers could "opt in" to buy or lease their own Amazon locker which only unlocks for a drone with a delivery to this address, and the customer. This could be done by RFID or near-field technology, bluetooth, or something similar.

As a YUUUGE and growing source of consumer products (and excessive packaging), Amazon has a real opportunity and responsibility to reduce or eliminate a good portion of the trash going to landfills today and in the future. I think addressing their own packaging is the biggest opportunity and most important one.

That being said, I think Amazon could also work with bottle fillers to work on recycling programs and/or reusable container programs for their customers. For example, going back to my 12-pack of flavored Ice Waters, even if I buy them from the store, I'm still ultimately tossing out empty water bottles. What if, instead, I placed said bottles in my personal Amazon locker outside when I was done with all 12, and the next time I got a delivery, they would also pick up the bottles and return to a bottle filler for cleaning and reusing? I know this starts to get into the messy reverse logistics thing I was trying to avoid earlier, but I think it would be the logical next step after Amazon largely addresses its own shipment packaging materials issues. 





It is worth noting that you can also help reduce packaging from Amazon starting today! As referenced here: https://earth911.com/business-policy/reduce-amazon-packaging-waste/ you can send an email to
cs-reply@amazon.com to request minimal plastic packaging inside your orders, and they should make a note in your account to do so. 

Also, you can choose to receive deliveries once a week instead of multiple days per week. This is called choosing your "Amazon Day," and all you have to do is select it at checkout.

Steal This Idea: Robot Restaurant

 I recently got suckered into a tourist trap in Tokyo (which honestly doesn't happen much in Japan) called Robot Restaurant, and needless to say was quite disappointed. To be fair, I was going on a whim, and failed to research exactly what it was. It was hardly a restaurant and utilized zero robots. In fact, it was much more like a Japanese anime version of Medieval Times. Actors were dressed as robots, and parade float-like vehicles were driven by an RC car mechanism. The drivers didn't even try to hide, they stood right next to us at the end of the audience seating and used their RC controllers to steer the vehicles around. It was quite cheesy, but entertaining if your expectations are set low enough.

All that said, it got me thinking about a real Robot Restaurant. I think its fair to say that (1) we're at a point where AI, robotics and communication technology could feasibly run an entire restaurant, and (2) the general public doesn't quite know the extent of how technology could replace some of the most common jobs in the country. Thus, I think it would be interesting to launch an actual Robot Restaurant to showcase these amazing technologies, and could even be used as an operational experimental platform for new technologies. So the following is how I would envision it, and I would love for someone to steal the idea and create. All I'd ask in return is maybe a seat at the literal table to eat one day. You'll notice that I refer to existing technologies a lot here, and I do that for two reasons: to show that this is feasible today, and also to limit the amount of explaining I have to do.

Entrance

I think the Robot Restaurant experience merits a cover charge and a reservation system to make sure there are sufficient seats.  This is easily handled with a phone app and automated ticket system outside the building, much like a movie theater system. You could pick your time, select your seats and pay without talking to a human. Accessibility needs could be addressed as well. It could even have upgrade options, including extended time, or options on using the experimental technologies or the standard (well-tested) technologies.
Before entering, guests are provided RFID bracelets tied to their accounts, much like those guests wear at Disney World. RFID gates throughout the restaurant will allow the technology to provide a customized experience and track guests' movements to ensure things are working as planned.
Upon entering, the floor will light up with directions to the guests' seats based on their seat selections and tied to their RFID bracelets. This replaces the traditional host/hostess seating activity. However, a friendly robot host may be at the entrance to help guests understand how to follow the floor if they get stuck.

Once seated, the Robot Server should come to them, greet them and explain how to order, and provide water which it pours on the spot with a tap.

Ordering

I'm sure you can imagine the simplest ordering mechanism would be for a tablet or table-top device, like what you'd see at Chili's, Applebee's, Buffalo Wild Wings or Olive Garden. The menus on those device would have to be much more enhanced, more like the large touch-screen ordering stations at McDonald's, where you can choose all the different menu items, customize them, and them to the cart, etc. The ordering could be integrated with the phone app as well for those who have downloaded it. Of course, at any

time, guests will have a way to add to their service if they need something immediately.

Another option is to have a robot server come and take the order, to give that traditional restaurant feeling, and to work on the AI of listening to people and conversing. This could be an upgrade or experimental element. Ultimately, I'd still suggest that guests verify their orders on a screen before it hits the kitchen, at a minimum.

Some elements to consider would be a "timed" experience, where guests are prompted first to order their drinks, then to consider appetizers, then order their main course, then later, as they wrap up the main course, be prompted to order desserts. If guests are lingering too long, perhaps they get a timer indicating when they have to order by.

Service

So far, I've covered merely some of the basics of what a restaurant would need to do to function. Where I think the unique experience comes in is how the food and drinks are prepared and served. First, for drinks, I think it would be kind of entertaining for the robot servers to "load" various drinks, such as Diet Coke, regular Coke, orange soda, sweet tea, etc., and then pour from their tap for the refills. So maybe the first round is served traditionally all at once, a robot on the side fills the glasses with the new table's order, puts it on the Service Conveyor Belt for the Robot Server to pick it up, and bring it to the table. But when someone either orders a refill of, let's say, Diet Coke, or if a robot's AI notices the Diet Coke cup is low, it goes the Refill Station, loads the Diet Coke keg with its own tap. I'm picturing a robotic version of the "Ghostbusters" or "beer girls" at Japanese baseball games that carry kegs on their backs and pour beer fresh from the tap on order. Meanwhile, all customers who ordered Diet Coke would be prompted with a message on their screen asking if they need a refill. The robot then goes to the person who ordered the refill to refill the glass, and then to each additional customer, either in the order that they requested, or in an optimized fashion. The customers who ordered refills could actually see their place in line to know when to expect their refill to come, like they might be 5th, and when that #1 was served, then they're 4th in the queue, and so on. When all Diet Cokes are serviced, the robot server goes to the next drink (unless food is ready to be served), and loads the next drink needed, and the process repeats. Actually, there is technology already available with water bottles that indicate the level of liquid as well as the temperature, both being read from inside the bottle; something like that could be applied to the glasses used so that if a drink gets too warm or too low, the Robot Server initiates a refill.
There may be legal hurdles to selling alcohol, but if alcohol service is an option, guests could scan their IDs with the tablets or some device at the table, or perhaps before entering.
Once a food order is entered, guests have the option to track their food's progress through the kitchen by either a pictorial representation, an actual video of the food preparation in the kitchen, or both. The robots in the kitchen would wear silly chef hats just because, and maybe they would do silly things from time to time like a teppanyaki chef, like flip a shrimp into their hat. There could be lots of "Easter eggs" or surprises that only a very keen observer would notice.
The patrons at the bar would have an even more interesting option. The wall behind the Robot Bartender would actually be a glass window that can change from an opaque scene to a transparent window and back on command. It would reset to the opaque scene after 2 minutes, and hold for 30 seconds minimum before anyone can change it to transparent again. The opaque scene can vary from day to day, maybe it's an old Western bar one day, and full of Hollywood glitz the next day. The customers at the bar could choose to switch to the glass window to watch their food live, maybe even with overlays on the screen to highlight where their food was in the kitchen.

When guests stand up prior to their departure time, the assumption would be that they need to use the restroom. The floor would once again illuminate to guide them to the bathrooms, even with a decision point of which gender bathroom to go in, or a gender-neutral bathroom. We could take it a step further and have multiple individual bathrooms, and the floor would know which ones were occupied and guide guests to the unoccupied bathrooms. The trip to the bathroom would pass by the kitchen, which, once you're passed the transitional glass between the bar and the kitchen, is all transparent windows so you can see the robots working live on the various orders. Based on your RFID, maybe the windows also highlight where your food is for you.

It's an experience to go to the bathroom too, including the toilet lid opening as you enter and closing as you leave and the lights coming on as the door opens. Maybe the toilet seat protector changes, etc. There is a Toto washlet with bidet, seat warmer and dryer on the toilet. The soap, sink and hand dryer are all automatic. The door can be pushed/pulled open, but if you swipe your RFID bracelet next to the reader, it will open and close the door for you as well. The mirror compliments you, and asks if you'd like any fashion advice or tips. If requested, it will analyze either your clothes or your hair style or makeup, etc., and provide an actual useful piece of advice based on what an expert would tell you. Maybe the bathroom plays your own personal soundtrack that you've pre-selected.
When food is delivered while a guest is away from their table, their wristband would vibrate, light up and/or ring a little chime so they know to return to their table.

The food is placed on the Service Conveyor Belt by the kitchen robots, and rolled out to the proper row, and the Robot Server would go to pick up and bring it to the proper table and proper seat. Guests could attempt to "trick" the server by changing seats, but it would track based on the order tied to the RFID bracelet. 




Desserts could be 3D printed at the table; the Robot Server would bring the

3D printer over and the ingredients, and guests would get to watch their desserts printed in front of them.

Reservation times would be staggered so that there are people coming and going while others are eating. This would allows guests to witness the Robot Busboy dropping in from the ceiling above to pick up all the dishes and wipe the table down. The point of this is to demonstrate that by employing robots, we're not limited to humanoid activities like having people run around to each table to clean up.

From time to time, a Robot Sweeper would come by to clean the Pedestrian Walkways. It would primarily look like a Roomba, but it would choose a guest at random, stop by their seat and pop a flower out of its top and hand it to the guest. It could be a toy or other little trinket.

The focus would be on not having to talk to a human throughout the entire experience, but at any point in time if a guest wants to talk to a human, there's an option, and either a video chat would open on their screen, or the Robot Server would come over and display a person on a video chat on its head. A few people would be on hand in real life if something needed to handled physically, but that should be only in absolute critical situations.

Entertainment

There would be a stage for the artists of the Robot Community to paint, ride bikes, tell jokes, and play music. The acts would rotate regularly. Requests for songs, paintings, joke topics, etc., could be made by using the tablets on the tables. One act could be an "improv" based on suggestions from the guests, or a "Mad Lib" style where different tables get to pick the words. I think a robot striptease would be funny once in a while, but that should be another "Easter egg" so it's a rarity. You could play with audience interaction and be really creative here, like perhaps hold an auction for Robot Restaurant merchandise or junk food like astronaut ice cream. If a guest wins a hat, the Robot Busboy actually brings the hat to their seat from the ceiling above, and places it on their head, then provides a mirror for them to look into which actually captures a picture. Drones could do the same, delivering other items and taking a picture of the guests as they receive it. Maybe a guest is selected at random, and their portrait is painted by the robot on stage, and they get to take it home after a fake auction. Guests' names and occupations could be mentioned in an "improved" song or rap. Styles could vary with the style of the bar for the day, like country one night, European the next, Las Vegas the following, etc. It is important that we're not just looking at animatronics, but that the robots are showing cognition of what's going on around them, tailoring what they're doing, etc.

Upgrades for celebrating birthdays, anniversaries and other special occasions could have different entertainment packages to go along with them. Maybe a "Kiss Cam" is rolled out for the couple celebrating an anniversary or newly engaged. For birthdays, the robots in the kitchen, the servers, and the busboys could light up and "sing" a funny robotic rendition of the birthday song. Unlike with human waiters and waitresses, the robots could sing in any language and even learn variations of birthday songs (a punk metal version, a rap version, a country version) to change it up. Maybe they'll throw in a birthday gong, birthday dance, or a joke about being over the hill, etc.

The walls around the dining area would be screens that would follow the themes of the rest of the activities going on. For example, for a birthday song, the screens could show confetti and balloons falling on repeat. When not in use for a specific event, they would function to inform and entertain. Tweets with #RobotRestaurant from this geographical area could show up on one section

live, maybe intertwined with select tweets from innovators like Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and the like. The Robot Servers could also tweet at random intervals, welcoming guests in, thanking them for great reviews, sharing selfies and interesting factoids, etc. Another screen would show the entertainment lineup for the immediate day, as well as upcoming theme days, etc. One screen could show robot bloopers, whether real or intentionally faked.

The seats could have butt warmers that guests could control, height adjustments or slight recline functionality, and maybe the color or design of the table can be customized.

Guests could choose to use headphones and utilize the tablets to learn about the various technologies featured and being experimented with, and browse robotics and technologies they could buy to bring home. Or, they could learn about the supply chain of the food sources for their specific meal, or a number of other more educational offerings. If multiple Robot Restaurants are opened, they could tap into the other locations to watch the entertainment, browse the menus at those locations, etc.

As the meal raps up, the Robot Server would offer to take a selfie with the table, and then extend an Inspector Gadget-style selfie stick out of its arm to take the perfect selfie. As surprises and Easter eggs are discovered, guests will have their pictures and/or videos taken automatically, and those will be available online and on their apps after the visit.

Before paying, guests are shown a quick summary of the fun things they've seen and done, and go through a very brief survey. Maybe they get a coupon for their next visit, etc. After paying, guests are escorted out via the light up floor system again into the Gift Shop to exit. They could choose to return their RFID wristbands for a deposit return, or keep them (and can re-use them).

Japan Guide: Key Phrases

A few key phrases are helpful to learn and have in your back pocket. While you may not have the time or discipline to go through a full Japanese course, I would recommend you learn these phrases (and there are plenty of online resources you can use to hear the correct pronunciations and practice with).

Excuse me / Sorry

"Sumimasen"
You'll tend to use this phrase a lot, so practice it! Use it to get by in a crowd, if you bump into someone accidentally, or if you need help. Generally, you'll use this phrase before anything else on this list. Just assume you'll start with it.  

Thank you

"Arigatō gozaimas"

There are a number of ways to say thank you depending on the formality, situation, etc., but for beginners, I could stick with this one. Do NOT refer to that Mr. Roboto song for etiquette, trust me on this one.

Where is this?

"Ko-re wa doko des ka?"

It is sometimes useful to point to what you're looking for (on your phone or a map, etc) and ask where it is.
 
Ko-re means "this," and "doko" is the all-important word for "where," the wa and des ka are just formalities for this form, but good to include if you can remember.

Do you have this?

"Ko-re wa arimas ka?"
Use this if you're looking for something specific in a store, and you have a picture on your phone, for example. 

Where is the bathroom / toilet?

"Toire wa doko des ka?"

Check please!

"O kaikei onegaishimas"
If the server doesn't give you the bill with your food, you may have to ask for it. Make sure to start with excuse me. 

Do you have an English menu?

"Eigo no menyū wa arimas ka?"

You can remember how to say English by thinking of Eggo waffles, "Eigo." Menu is basically menu.

Good morning

"Ohayō gozaimas"

Think of the state of Ohio.

Good afternoon

"Kon'nichiwa"

Usually you'll use this phrase as a greeting even starting around 11 am, and until it gets dark.

Good evening

"Konbanwa"

It is okay / good / fine

"Ii des."

Pronounce like "eee"

Yes  /   No

"Hai"   /  "īe" 

Pronounce like "Hi" and "eee-ya"

I don't understand / I don't know

"Wakarimasen"

I understand / I know

"Wakarimas"

Water, please

"O mizu o kudasai"






 

Katakanized Words

You'll notice a number of words are similar to their English translations, except perhaps with more / longer syllables. This is called Katakanization. For a few examples, beer is "bī-ru," cake is "kēki," orange juice is "orenji-jūs," cookie is "kukkī." These words are helpful to recall, however, don't assume that other words can just be exteneded to make Japanese words, you may get funny looks if you try to make up Japanese words.

More Japan Guide

Getting There / What To Bring 
Training It - The Best Way to Get Around in Japan (Trains) 
Where to Stay
Eating Out
Things To Do 
Key Phrases

Japan Guide: Things to Do (Japan Bucket List)

Things To Do

There are probably ten thousand things to recommend to do in Japan, and so it largely will depend on your preferences and interests. However, there are a few things I think nobody should miss: cheering at a Japanese baseball game, partaking at a Shinto Shrine, and shopping at a large electronics store. 


Japanese Baseball Games - I recommend Japanese baseball games to anyone going to Japan, because they are rowdy like college football games in America, but in a distinctly organized way. While your team is at bat, the crowd around you will be cheering a handful of cheers, including the word "Katabuse" which means "kick butt." Each team has a different version of the 7th inning stretch that is unique and fun - my favorite was the Hiroshima Carp that wave around somewhat phallic balloons while singing a song, and then everyone simultaneously releases the balloon and they go flying up into the air until the air is exhausted, and then fall onto the field where they are rapidly cleaned up. You'll find some American fast food places like KFC or McDonald's at the stadiums, but nothing is better in my book than yakitori (meat on a stick) and beer served by the passing "Ghostbusters" - the adorable young women running around the stands with kegs on their backs, pouring various brands of beer fresh on the spot. Here's a great article that says so much more eloquently why baseball games in Japan are a must-see: https://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/05/travel/05journeys.html 

Shinto Shrine - If you're traveling anywhere in Japan, you won't be hard pressed to find a Shinto Shrine. Small shrines are tucked into alleyways throughout neighborhoods, although they may have limited hours. Larger shrines are found at just about every major tourist area, like Ueno Park or Miyajima. Buddhist temples are also prevalent throughout Japan, and both shrines and temples are absolutely beautiful and spiritual places to visit. Japanese people don't think of religion the same way we Westerners do - that is, they may worship at a shrine but not consider themselves religious. Religion is more like Christianity or Judaism; Shinto, to them, is just a way of life. Thus, even if you're a Christian or Jew, or any other religious follower, you're still welcome to worship or partake in the Shinto Shrine. Typically, there is a place to wash your hands and face as you approach the shrine. Then you can approach the shrine quietly and respectfully. A good guide to visiting shrines is here: https://www.wikihow.com/Worship-at-a-Shinto-Shrine

Electronics Store - Japan has a rich heritage of history and tradition, but in today's global landscape, the country can't be discussed without noting their amazing technology. Thus, I recommend visitors to Japan make sure to shop at an electronics store. Even if you don't end up buying anything, it can be quite an experience to peruse the various floors (the best electronics stores usually span several stories high and even a few stories below ground) and signage. In Hiroshima, the stores were called Deo Deo, which I loved, because of the phrasing that means "at Deo Deo," which is "Deo Deo de…" The one near our hotel in Akihabara was called Yodobashi. One thing to note, for any shopping experience, is that if you are buying more than one item in a store, sometimes you will be asked if you want to separate the bill or not (i.e. do you want each item to be a separate charge), so be aware that this may be asked.

Tokyo Disneyland and Disneysea are also very popular spots for visitors to Japan. The food there actually tries to pull from different regions, so you'll actually be a bit hard pressed to find real Japanese food. However, much like their ice cream and soda, they have lots of flavors of popcorn, which is kind of fun. Disney is very English friendly, they'll even give you headsets or devices for the shows so you can hear or see the translations. For whatever reason, Disney celebrates Easter like crazy in Japan, with parades and theming throughout the park. It's quite wild. And while I think the Japanese culture in general epitomizes customer service, you'll see Disney cast members are cheerily over the top with their double hand waves that you can't miss!

Onsens / Public Hot Spring Baths are a major highlight in Japan. Many hotels will have them for their guests, including the second capsule hotel I stayed at! Generally, onsen are separated by gender and are used completely in the nude. You may get a small towel, but the towel is to be left several feet from the bath. It is customary to shower before entering an onsen. As a tourist, you may get looks or you may experience a people leaving the baths as you enter them. A little planning goes a long way here, it's good to check if your hotel has onsen, or if you're going to go to public one, if there is a coed area to mingle with your party in bathing suits, etc. Tattoos are taboo, so if you have tattoos, you may want to find specific onsens that are tattoo-friendly.

There are also plenty of experiences you'll have naturally or without necessary planning, like visiting convenience stores or riding the trains. There are also lots of experiences that aren't for everyone, or require a visit during a specific time of the year. I've tried to capture all of the potential experiences people may want to consider when thinking about what to do in Japan here. Please feel free to leave others in the comments, I'd love to hear what you think is a must-do in Japan! 

Japan Bucket List

• Attend a Japanese Baseball Game
  

  

  Cheddar Hedgehog and Owl Cafe

• Bathe in a Hot Spring (Onsen)
• Worship / Pay Respects at Shinto Shrine
• Shop at a Large Electronics Store
• Ride the rides at Tokyo Disneyland
• Watch a Sumo Tournament
• Sleep in a Capsule Hotel
• Ride the commuter trains during rush hour
• Ride a Bullet Train (Shinkansen)
• Visit Peace Park Museum in Hiroshima
• Feed the deer in Miyajima
• Buy beer from a vending machine
• Try at least three flavors of Japanese Kit Kat
• Pop open a bottle of Ramune
• Eat yakitori (meat on a stick) from a street vendor

Yakitori under Cherry Blossoms

• Picnic under the Cherry Blossoms (spring time)
• Eat a fugu (blowfish that's poisonous if prepared incorrectly)
• Play at an arcade

  

  Looking at the Capsule Toys

• Try using the washlets (the remote-controlled bidets in the toilets)
• Visit a Cat Café or similar (Owl Café, Hedgehog Café, etc)
• Tour a car factory (Mazda, Toyota, Honda, etc)
• Attend a tea ceremony
• Eat at Kirby Café (reservations required, near Tokyo Sky Tree)
• Walk through the Arashiyama Bamboo Forest
• Buy a capsule toy
  

 

Honorable Mentions

Find the old Nintendo Headquarters - There's not much to do other than take a picture outside of the sign, but for the uber game nerd, this is a fun little adventure to undertake in Kyoto. The current headquarters is also in Kyoto, and there's equally just as much to do (namely, nothing other than taking a picture) there as well.

Robot Restaurant - I was blinded (read, tricked) by the name of this tourist trap. It is neither a restaurant by definition, nor does it have robots. Rather, it is a show that serves some semblance of food, and it features people dressed like robots and some parade-like vehicles on RC car fixtures. The best way to describe it is like an Anime version of Medieval Times. And yes, you absolutely need to get the glowy drink to enjoy the show. 

Take the Skyway to the top of Miyajima - I'm told there are monkeys on the mountain on Miyajima, but two visits have yielded zero monkey sitings. Still, the view from the top is spectacular. I would not, however, recommend climbing up or down (we did the latter), as it is much higher than it seems and I was sore for literally days to the point of canceling plans because I couldn't walk. So yeah, take the Skyway.  

Visit a Kit Kat Chocolatory - These are storefronts in malls that have super fancy Kit Kats. It's worth a stop if you're in the area of one. 

Visit a Pokemon Center - For the gamer / nerd, a visit to one of the many Pokemon Centers is a fun treat. Get your Pokemon socks, chopsticks, and cards here. If you play Pokemon Go, make sure to have open Gift spots and spin the stops here to get fun Gifts to send to your friends. 

More Japan Guide

Getting There / What To Bring 
Training It - The Best Way to Get Around in Japan (Trains) 
Where to Stay
Eating Out
Things To Do 
Key Phrases

Japan Guide: Eating Out

Eating Out

Lots of restaurants will advertise if they have an English menu, and they'll offer it to you if they have one if they recognize you look foreign. If they don't, there's almost always lots of pictures, and you can just point.

No tipping, and taxes are usually included. Both of these are big bonuses in my book, I like that these are the customs in Japan and wish that the US would adopt these practices.

Sometimes hosts will ask you if you want to sit in smoking or non-smoking sections of the restaurant.

If servers don't come to your table and you need to place your order, get more drink or pay your bill, it's normal to call them over. Use the phrase, "Sumimasen," which means excuse me, and they'll come right over.

Most restaurants are very specialized in a certain kind of food. For example, tatsu (fried) places will have mostly tatsu, and not sushi or ramen. If you want good ramen, you need to go to a ramen place. For a truly Japanese dish, I recommend

Partially eaten okonomiyaki

okonomiyaki, if you can find it. They refer to it as a savory pancake, but it's so much more than a pancake, with noodles and cabbage inside, and the delicious and distinctive okonomiyaki sauce they smother it in (along with mayonnaise).

My favorite dish, however, is yakiniku, and also a little bit difficult to find. I used to eat it at school when I studied at Hiroshima Shudo University, and it appealed to my limited palate because it is very simply beef and rice, but whatever magic they sauce it with, it's delicious. I found it also at a restaurant in Miyajima.

A suitable and quite delightful proxy can be more easily located at, of all places, a uniquely Japanese burger franchise called MOS Burger, home of the yakiniku burger. Speaking of burgers, I also recommend eating McDonald's in Japan just once, if you have the chance, so you can experience that.

One note about sushi: when you go to sushi in America, much of the fish is cooked and has fun names like California roll or Dynamite roll. Most of the sushi in Japan, in our experience, is raw. Some may be broiled or seared but may not be fully cooked. I'd advise to keep you mind open, if you're going to try raw fish, what better place to do it than in Japan where they really know what they're doing?

As far as ice cream, sodas and desserts, there are lots of unique flavors that Westerners aren't generally used to, like bean curd. Fish-shaped Taiyaki is a delicious treat you can get at street vendors, especially if you can find chocolate filled ones. Teas and waters, too, especially in the vending machines
or convenience stores, have some wild flavors. My favorite was the orange flavored water, and Jaiman really enjoyed the apple flavored tea as well as the melon soda. 

 

More Japan Guide

Getting There / What To Bring 
Training It - The Best Way to Get Around in Japan (Trains) 
Where to Stay
Eating Out
Things To Do 
Key Phrases