How It's Going: Almost June 2023

The breakup at the beginning of the year was inevitable and I knew that going into the new year. When it happened, it wasn't how or when I had foreseen it. The timing was close to right, but how it went down was a huge shock - I was trying to make it amicable and calm, knowing it was the right thing to do and I had left nothing on the table as far as ways to repair the decade-long relationship, but he wouldn't have it. No, he went off like a crazy person, bringing up ancient history that I'm not even convinced wasn't entirely made up in his attempt to prove he was a victim, blaming me for everything, of course, and projecting his guilt onto me via ill-founded and inaccurate accusations of cheating. Nevertheless trying to find the silver lining in all things, I end that story always with the conclusion that it makes it very easy not to second guess the breakup or try to get back together. I do think it's a little bananas that after spending nearly every day with him for 10 years, he and I have no exchanged a word, a text, a comment, nothing. It's done-zo and that's obviously a good thing.

Except it means I'm alone. I have this great big house which I love, and a pool and a hot tub I frequent, and all these big plans to go here and do that. But I'm so alone. I've never been good at being a friend or keeping friends so I don't have many, and I haven't done much in the way of making new friends locally. All of the people I could even call my friend here are colleagues, employees of mine or former colleagues. In fact, even people I consider friends "back home" in Arizona are mostly former colleagues. And, I mean, I guess that's ok, right? We spend so much time at work it's good to have friends there and it makes sense when strong relationships are forged there. But even my closest of friends aren't, like, best friends or besties. I almost never talk to my childhood friends, when we do it's usually just exchanged comments on facebook.

My sister loves being single, or at least that's what she'd have everyone believe, but her being single and me being single are so different - she was married, she had someone to whom she said, "I do," and she got a son of it and she's the best at keeping old friends and making new ones. On top of that, she is at least somewhat introverted in that she loves her "me time" whereas I could have zero of that and be the happiest person alive. She is a good person for me to talk to about these things, and she encourages me to go to the movies or dinner by myself, but I don't think she appreciates how much more lonely I am without a committed relationship. I love being around people, well at least people I enjoy and whom I can stand, and I can be judgey which is why I'm not a big life long friender. That is also why I vowed to connect more and connect more deeply this year - I knew I'd need friends and I know I need to be a better one.

Oh and a new job. Boy, people really show you their true colors when they have nothing to lose, right? My old boss held nothing back once I told him I was leaving. Just like my breakup, he has made it very clear I made the right choice. My new boss seems great, my local team is great, I might have some work to do on some of my other new employees but that's ok. Getting away from a diminishing manager was an important thing to do for myself, and while my old team was pretty heartbroken over me leaving, as was I, they understood, perhaps more than me at times, why I had to make the change.

I always like to do one or two life list things per year, and the last few years have been really hard with the COVID pandemic, so I feel like I should be trying to make up for that lost time this year. But alas, many of the items remaining on my life list are either quite difficult or require travel, and I'm just not up for doing a ton of travel alone.

Post-breakup I dove in pretty quickly to the dating scene, had a few homeruns but lost each game. I am just about over dating, and yet I still am unhappy with being alone, so I'm definitely in a funk in a big, bad way. Not dangerous or anything, just out of it. The dark thoughts do creep in, even knowing what I know now about my ex- and how he viewed our relationship, I still sometimes voyage into the land of, "What if I just pretended that none of that happened and had him come back and just idlily stayed around to make plans with and stuff?" It's stupid, and I know logically that nothing good could come from that line of thinking. And yet, there it is. These jerks on the dating app all claim not to be like the rest and they all end up ghosting me, gaslighting me or, most kindly, deciding to go separate ways. Yet I feel like I'm lowering my standards to date them, and they are the ones largely doing to leaving/ghosting. I don't get it. I don't get how guys can be so cruel, and I don't get what the fucking point is in dating someone, saying you want to meet up, and then not showing. Like, isn't the point of dating to meet people and go on dates and see what happens? It's just so… I don't know, depressing? Disparaging? Disappointing. Consistently and thoroughly disappointing.

So I started going swing dancing again. It's a weird "again" because when I used to go swing dancing, it was in Arizona. After years of dancing there, I had a number of friendly faces and regular dance partners. But also, my main dance partner was, alas, my now ex-. So going dancing "again" isn't like I'm returning to something I know well. I know how to dance, at least the basics, I've gotten a bit rusty on my Lindy Hop and have no idea if I could follow Balboa right now. But I don't know the people, I don't have a consistent partner, and the structure of the dance is a bit weird, too.

Like, at Kat's Korner in Arizona, we always did a celebration dance for people with birthdays or celebrating something else special, or visiting from out of town. Then we'd do the snowball, in which a few couples start and every few moments or so the announcer would call for them to find a new partner who isn't dancing yet, until everyone is dancing ideally. We'd also do the Shim Sham, a semi-choreographed mostly solo dance that everyone could join in and do, a little like the Electric Slide but, you know, not that. Sometimes we'd do other similarly somewhat familiar choreographed dances, such as Tranky Doo or the Big Apple. I really want to do one of those again. But alas, at this place in Pasadena, they don't do the celebration dance and they don't do any of the choreographed dances. Instead, they do what they call a "disco" in which they play a (non-disco) pop song and just follow along as someone semi-makes up dance moves, kinda like doing a jazzercise workout video or something. They do the snowball after that, so there's that at least, although even that they do a little weird and I don't like it. It's fine. It's fine.

The bigger thing, I think, is just the not knowing people. The second time I went, some of the leads recognized me and the familiarity started to blossom into me getting asked to dance more, which was great. I went this past weekend, though, and there were less familiar faces as such I got asked to dance less, and didn't even have the courage for whatever reason to ask some of the dancers I wanted to dance with. It certainly didn't help, this past weekend, that a guy I had been talking to for a week or so was planning on meeting me there for our first date - and despite saying he was almost home and lived 5 minutes away around 8 pm, he never showed, and I never heard from him after that. So, yeah, even going back to swing dancing has been, not a complete disappointment, but definitely sort of rough. It's also over an hour away which means it's a big commitment for me to go. There's another venue in Pasadena on Thursday nights and that just seems almost impossible after working a 10+ hour day on Thursday, but I hear that's a better venue and I want to go, in theory.

A month or two ago, I visited Arizona primarily to support a charity walk which I've done for years with my friend and former colleague, Allison. During my visit, I also made a point to go swing dancing on my home turf, albeit a different venue (tear) than what I had known for the prior 12 years. The familiar faces and welcoming recognition more than made up for the unfamiliar new-to-me venue, and I had a blast, truly. A few of the leads I danced with also strongly encouraged me to go to Camp Hollywood this year, an event I have never attended except for participating in the virtual event a few years ago during the worst of COVID. I was super hesitant and nervous about it, still am, but the encouragement from them and the reminder for myself that this is the kind of thing I want to do more of left me little choice but to register and make plans to attend. I'm also now considering if I should go back to Arizona for some of the events like Swingdependance and a new event in Tucson right around my Dad's birthday weekend.

I'm definitely in a funk, but in reviewing what I set out to do in 2023 at the start of the year, I am finding a little bit of encouragement and comfort knowing that I have completed many of those things already. Let's take a quick inventory.

Life: Be an active participant
•  Buy my land - Done!
•  Increase discipline in health routines - eh, kinda?
•  Have a mindfulness weekend retreat - planned and then skipped, wah wah
    •  Do that regularly
•  Have a blog-a-thon to write about topics already started
•  Book/plan vacation - Done, at least mostly - Hawaii for Christmas, plus some other smaller trips are in the works too! Planning trips is therapy for me.
•  Complete >1 from room renovation  - Done, at least mostly. Did some finishing touches on the downstairs full bath, and mostly finished wallpapering and putting new fixtures in the downstairs half bath. Really it just needs some pictures on the walls or something, otherwise it's done. Master water closet's next!

Nature: Go deeper into outer space
•  Listen to Planetary Radio podcast when available - Listened at least once, not sure where I lost track of this one, will have to check.
•  Watch All Space Considered monthly - I do watch this regularly now, and want to go in person sometime soon.
•  Visit the Griffith Observatory - Done! Went to a weird show called Above with a date, it was interesting, not sure I'd do that again necessarily, but maybe for some other event or show.
As a bonus, not related to space but related to nature, I volunteered at the local Poppy Reserve and did several trail watch hikes out there, and learned a lot about local wild flowers. Getting out into nature was great for me, and I should probably keep that up.

Celebration: Re-build the lost connections
•  Start daily journal even if 3-sentence recap - I tried, but I tend to not write for a while and then play catch up and try to write something. I'll keep trying.
•  Plan for and stay on top of sending birthday, anniversary, holiday cards
•  Seek advice and ask curious questions of people in my life

Empowerment: Create (and use) the tools to get out of my own way
•  Auto-add/update calendar with activities of interest - Partially done, got it add ISS passes to my calendar.
•  Utilize AI and scripting to hone trends and market gaps
•  3D print some useful items - I tried, 3d printers hate me, I swear! My filament got jammed and I gave up.
•  Invest in architecture software and education, and design home of the future
•  Influence recruiting at work via communications team
•  Develop better graphics and display for my Show Mode

Well, one of my trips I'm planning is intended to help me reconnect with some old friends, and based on what I've done a lot of and not done enough of, it seems like the connecting thing is one of the areas I need to focus in on more.

As far as accomplishing some things from my Life List, here are some ideas I think are doable still this year:
10    Ride a penny-farthing bicycle
12    Ride a recumbent bicycle
20    Watch a fire-dancing show at Burning Man
30    Catch a fish
52    Press grapes into wine with my bare feet
81    Be an extra in a movie
98    Send in a postsecret
103    Drive a race car around a real track
114    Eat at a Shenanigans
119    Learn to use a slide rule
147    Time Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park


I feel like, rather than blessings, I need to count my activities or achievements to remind myself that this year has not been a total bust. Here it goes:

    • I hiked around Vasquez Rocks with my colleague Josh - getting him out of the house was a freaking achievement in and of itself! We did about 1.86 miles.

    • I volunteered for 5 shifts of trail watch duty and the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserves, totaling over 24 miles of hiking, plus took my friend Andrew and a love interest also named Andrew for one hike there, as well as some of my employees another time.

    • I volunteered for the second year in a row to be a mentor for the Aerospace Robotics Competition sponsored by my company, working with high school students to build, fly and program a drone. My team failed for the second year in a row, but I still helped quite a bit at the competition, and recruited some of my employees to help out, and that always feels good.

    • I've gone swing dancing four times (thrice in Pasadena and once in Arizona) and did a charity walk in Arizona.

    • I went to see Six the Musical with my friend Andrew (although it was supposed to be with a guy I was seeing - Justin - but he started getting flakey so I guess I told him off(?)).

    • I got a new job and subsequent pay raise.

    • I did some wallpapering and home reno stuff to improve my home.

    • I upgraded my pool system so I can heat my pool, and have loved swimming in 86 degree water - especially when walking/running has been hard on my body lately so swimming is a great exercise alternative.

    • I bought land in Mojave, CA and camped out there to pursue the green meteor earlier this year.

Considering everything, that's a pretty healthy list of achievements. I guess I'm not as much in a rut as I thought I was. But, now I'm even more enthuse'd about the upcoming things.

It's May!

Once upon a time, I started this blog after a relationship break-up, and in part, to catalog the quirky adventures of dating. I had given up on love at that time, to be honest, which was both sort of sad and a little liberating. No longer did I have to go on dates and wonder if he could be the one, nor did I see weird yellow flags as setting a precedent that I should address. I went with whatever, so long as it didn't cross a hard line for me, and let the ridiculousness unfold. It was funny the bizarre things my dates would subject me to, and I considered it my duty to share it with the world, or at least document it for my future amusement, on this blog.

Then, the unexpected happened. I found a guy who wasn't ridiculous or bizarre. We had an instant mutual attraction and neither of us wasted a second dancing around our feelings towards one another. He seemed to be nearly perfect by my definition - tall, liked musicals, football, basketball and swing dancing - a rare combination. He often seemed to read my mind - mentioning his desire to go to massage school, for example - I had told my roommate I would love to find a guy who wanted to study massage, I'd pay for his schooling if it meant massages for life. I had some hesitations about him - I mean, I just recently given up on love - and I was worried he might fall harder for me than I for him, and I'd break his heart. But I rationalized that I had hesitated too often before, and the window of opportunity seemed to have passed, and I didn’t want to repeat that mistake. So we dove headfirst into a nearly 10 year relationship.

We had a very long, happy "honeymoon" phase - we rarely fought and we loved doing everything together all the time. We had amazing adventures and were the envy of our friends on facebook. As I met his family, they would always comment that they felt they knew me already from facebook. And the rest is history…

Fast forward to around 2021 - 2022. The relationship had soured. He said some things I could not get passed. I was frustrated with him. We still did fun things, but we were fighting a lot. It felt to me that he had become spoiled by my supporting him financially as he supported me in other ways through a number of geographic moves for my job. While I stand by my decision to do so, I think it changed our dynamic in his mind, and he became a different person. We tried addressing things, and he claimed to be committed to fixing what was broken, but now I see he was already too gone. A few specific incidents made it very apparent that we were not working, and I knew we had to end things.

With such a long time put into our relationship, I felt I owed it to him to end things amicably. That was I tried to do. To my surprise, 10 years of hate and bizarre accusations spewed out of him until I didn't ever want to see his face again. Cheating, really? He thought this was about me seeing someone else. But like Ingrid Andress' song, "I Think You're Seeing Someone Else", actually I was seeing someone else. I was holding onto the instant love and perfect chemistry of years ago. He had become someone different without my realizing it. Not better, like in the song. No, I had become more financially stable and more grounded, he seemed to have diverted and gone backwards. He was blaming me for him not finishing college or having a career, villainizing me with this made up affair he thought I had been having for 10 years, even bringing up my last boyfriend and accusing me of cheating on him, acting like I didn't make every geographic move with his concurrence, and on and on. I didn't know what to make of it at the time. Later, when I found his OnlyFans subscriptions, things started to click that he was projecting his guilt onto me and hoping I was cheating. Then I did what should have been a bad idea - looked through old videos and photos of us when we were happy early on - and it ended up being quite therapeutic because he was unrecognizable in those photos and videos. It made me realize I had not been dating the same guy for the last 9+ years. I was dating a great love, and more recently, I was dating a self-righteous fixed mindset monster. The man I fell in love with had died years ago, I'm not sure when, but he was no longer there.

That was in January, and as you can imagine, it's taken a minute to process all of this. I didn't process it all well, either. Shortly before Valentine's I read about a zoo that would, for a charitable donation, name a cockroach or a rat after your ex- and then feed it to the animals. I splurged for the video package and wrote a script that cut to the core of the idiocy that was the end of our relationship. Hey, it was for charity, right?

That's not to say I've been wallowing in sorrow since January. I've just not sat myself down and done a lot of self-reflecting. Instead, I've kept myself crazy busy. I volunteered at the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve as a docent and did regular trail watch to keep people off the poppies and educate them on the different types of flowers and wildlife (which I had to learn about myself). It was a great way to get my butt out of the house and hike many miles. I also volunteered for the Aerospace
Robotics Competition as a mentor to a high school team again. I started swing dancing again, practicing at home and going to Pasadena for the dances. I've been doing some home renovation stuff. And traveling - I went to Arizona for the Purple Stride and swing danced out there on my home turf. I cut and donated my hair. And seeking, interviewing for, and securing a new job (still at the same company). Yep, I've kept myself busy, but that’s not all I've been up to…

Dating - so many dates. I wasn't going to do the dating app thing, I was going to find comfort in doing my own thing and allow for the potential for something spontaneous to happen. But one weak moment one lonely evening and I had a full profile, and then the guys started pouring in.

And so, my blog is nearly ready to return to its original glory, talking about all the craziness of dating life. But it's already May!! I have so much to catch up on.

I was first excited about Nick - an Aussie who loved D&D. I wasn't so sure I'd be attracted to him based on his profile pictures, but when I met him, instant attraction. Not to mention we had had great conversation for weeks leading up to the first date. He broke it off a few days after, to my great disappointment. I know it was short and I shouldn’t have been upset, but I really liked him.

Then there was Cole, we talked a ton on the phone and texted a lot and then he ghosted me for a while. We never met but still message from time to time. Weird, right?

Jimmy - the jerk - stood me up. We chatted and then made arrangements for a date and he texted me about it that day, and that he was on his way, and all the way to the point of, "I'm in the parking lot," and then never showed. Why are people so cruel? I ate a disappointing dinner by myself that night.

Francisco works at Virgin Galactic (one of the common themes dating in this area is lots of engineers in my field, gotta be careful, I've found coworkers and stuff already)… He claimed he didn't want a hook up but he ghosted me after our first date so I'm going to go ahead and call him a big fat liar.

Then there was Dani, who used the sweetest words in his texts to me, calling me Queen and the like. The texting made more sense when I met him and realized he was not an native English speaker. We went on a few dates and I learned he was Iranian but trying to make it as an engineer in my field - and struggling because he is unable to give up his Iranian citizenship but that is preventing him from getting certain accesses. One night we had a discussion that felt too much like I was dating one of my (bad) employees and I decided it wasn't for me so I called it off. 

Dreamy Jay as I called him seemed very hook-up oriented but he was so good looking in his pictures I was willing to risk it. We talked for weeks and made tentative plans several times that never worked out, and it just sort of drifted off until he created a new profile and came up in my recommendations, but he had changed his name and used different pics so I wasn't sure - I liked him and then he confirmed he was the same guy. Goof. 

There was a doctor named Nick who I met once, and without either of us saying anything, we mutually stopped talking after that. The chemistry was just not there. 

I met KoiGoi against my better judgment, and was instantly happily surprised by how attracted I was when he walked in, but the conversation was terrible and I ended things after. But because I was attracted to his height, I temporarily started filtering on height to find other tall guys.

My tall filter caught 6'4" Aaron. He was so weirdly bad at communicating, I tried so hard with him and I don’t know why. I guess I was attracted to him and he wasn't in my industry so there's that. We went on a few dates and then he disappeared for several weeks and acted like it wasn't a big deal when he did start responding again. I may have acted out to cause a little drama and he freaked out and ended things, which was a huge overreaction in my opinion but probably good to fail fast in that case.

Then there was 6'5" Brandon, super sweet via text but horribly awkward in person. It was not going to work with him, but I went on a couple dates to try and he disappeared, probably for the better also. 

My filter also got me 6'8" Jesse, with whom I've tried to connect in person several times and it keeps not working out. He's a fitness trainer but works like four other jobs and is just too busy probably to date someone like me. But I'd still like to meet him in person, because, I mean, 6'8"! 

While seeing those rando's throughout and talking to several others that never really went anywhere, there have been four guys - yes, four - who I've seen more consistently and hopefully. Two of them are named Kevin, just to make things confusing, so I call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2, and then there's Andrew who also can be confusing as he shares the name of my best local friend, and then there's Justin from Hollywood.

My first date with Kevin 1 was fun and cute - we went to a taco food truck - his idea, and he ordered for us in Spanish which I found weirdly attractive. As we were eating, the spice was obviously getting to him and he looked over to me and asked, "You're pretty good with spice, huh?" And I had to think for a moment to even register that the tacos had a kick to them. Meanwhile he was drenched in sweat and his nose was running. I thought that was funny. My  friend Andrew and I were supposed to go to a show at the Griffith Observatory, and at the last minute he realized he had made plans with a woman he was seeing. I told him I'd see if I could get Kevin 1 to go with me and he agreed. I liked that he was willing to be a little spontaneous and do something completely out of the norm for him. He was the perfect date, we took selfies and fun pictures and he was just sweet and all about me the whole time. I loved how he touched me in public, not too sensual but enough for me to feel like I was his. There was a lot of promise early on, but then he had a lot of drama in his personal life and I didn't get to see him for 6+ weeks, and we got angry with each other. We reconciled a couple weeks later, and have gone out a few times since. Of all the guys I'm seeing right now, he's the one I have the most feelings for and most hope for, but there's that lingering drama that threatens it. We're planning a weekend getaway to Las Vegas in June. I may or may not have bought a $1000 bottle of tequila he wanted. What is wrong with me?

Dating Kevin 2 is wild. I thought he was pretty innocent and over-achiever, goody-two-shoes type, but once he let down his guard I found a very emo, anti-establishment, anti-everything, party animal. It first came out on St Patrick's Day with Andrew and his woman friend, and got really ugly the next day at the zoo when he said all these animals should kill themselves rather than be locked up for people to look at them. I told him that day that I was never going to take him out anywhere again, and he apologized, but I've held true to that. I still spend time with him in private, but I don't really see it going anywhere. He's great to cuddle up for a movie though.

Andrew just completed his third marathon, has a cute dog and a busted truck. He works for his grandma as an accountant. He's usually down for anything I suggest, but his personal life drama prevents him sometimes. I think early on he was intimidated by my profession and was trying to impress me, and since then he's calmed down and our conversations flow really well.

If anyone accused me of having a type, Justin would break that mold. He's the epitome of Hollywood, but we have a great time when we're together even though we have almost nothing in common. He calls me "boo" and we just really click. The distance makes it hard to see each other regularly, but we make it work from time to time.

So I think that kind of catches us up. I still can't believe it's May already. I start my new job in a couple weeks, although truth be told my new manager is sucking me in as fast as he can. I'm so completely sad to be leaving my team. I wasn't going to accept the job because of them. It was a surprise to me, when I tried to write my decline letter, I talked myself into accepting because the new manager has done so much to make me feel valued, and my current manager and director were so luke warm about losing me. I didn't think being valued mattered that much to me, until it was clear.

Besides my very busy dating life, I've mostly been trying to live up to my four principles for 2023, which I've summed up on my letterboard as: live intentionally, (re-)connect deeply, get outdoors and 'into' space, and create ease. It's been an adjustment to be single again, but I know its for the best - he made it very easy to not have second thoughts - and I'm just figuring out how to find myself again.

The Self Talk I Need Right Now

Me: We made so many great memories together. It's sad to throw that away.

Also me: Those are my memories to keep, regardless of the relationship. His passive aggression made all those things about him, too. I was happy being single before him. Comical, even, to write about going on bad dates.

 

Me: He did make my life easier in some ways. He was there when I got home from work, he cooked dinner, did the dishes.

Also me: He didn't do those things reliably, and it was never enough. The house was rarely clean unless I started cleaning. We'd run out of clean forks all the time. The food he made got lazier and less healthy.

 

Me: We enjoyed spending time together.

Also me: Apparently not. He resented me that whole time. And his laziness often superseded my motivation to do home improvement projects or go out. I've been finding more peace, creativity and motivation when I'm by myself.

 

Me: I loved him so much.

Also me: He was suspicious and resentful of me - for 10 years!

 

Me: I was stupid not to break up with him earlier.

Also me: He held things in and lied to me. I couldn't possibly have known it was this bad.

 

Me: The transition is going to be hard. There are so many things I relied on him for, and now I have to do those things myself.

Also me: But I don't have to go through it alone. And I also had to nag him to do things, which is a huge mental burden that will be lifted with this change.

 

Me: I feel like I threw away a decade of my life in this pointless, unappreciative relationship. Who knows who I could have been with during that time?

Also me: I did great things during that time, and my relationship did not hold me back from those things. As always, I made the most of it, and I came out on top. It's his loss that he can't appreciate all the things I did for him and how I tried to help him. Better to cut my losses than try to make it work with someone so completely stuck on his own selfish perspective.

 

Me: Now I'm the villain in his history.

Also me: I, and the people who care about me, know better. And that's all that matters.

Three Reasons (It's Over)

 I don't trust you - you've betrayed my trust and haven't earned it back. You don't do what you say you'll do, you "forget" too conveniently, you withhold important information because you'd rather postpone the conflict, your actions don't match your words, you show bad judgment which costs me money and sometimes scares me.

 

I don't feel appreciated and I do feel taken advantage of. I don't like nagging you but you often leave me little choice, and you don't even do the bare minimum. You misinterpret my words and actions to make things my problem.

 

What I believe to be your fixed mindset is too engrained its hurtful. I can't live with the burden that you blame me for you not finishing college. The mental gymnastics to twist something so inconsistent with my person to suit your needs is inconceivable and unacceptable in my life. You aren't showing any signs of self-reflection, you see the errors in everyone else's ways but your own.

 

I had hoped to help you, but you aren't getting better. You bring me down, and you too easily get annoyed by me. It hurts to love you, I don't want to keep going through the motions of faking it, so I'd rather you leave than suffer anymore.

Other Intriguing Uses of AI: Envisioning Something New

Prompt: Design a new sport unlike any in current existence

AI: Here is a description of a new sport that is unlike any currently in existence:

    "Skyball"

Skyball is a team sport played on a circular field with a high ceiling. The objective of the game is to score points by throwing a ball through a hoop located on the ceiling of the field. Each team has three players on the field at a time, and the ball is advanced by throwing it to teammates or bouncing it off the walls or floor. The ball can only be held for a limited amount of time before it must be passed or shot.

The field is divided into three sections: the outer rim, the middle ring, and the inner circle. Each section has its own hoop, with the inner circle hoop being worth the most points. Players are allowed to move freely throughout the field, but they must stay within their designated section when attempting to score.

Skyball combines elements of basketball, soccer, and handball, and requires players to have a high level of agility, coordination, and strategic thinking. The fast-paced and high-scoring nature of the game makes it exciting to watch and play.

 

 

Prompt: From Bill Gates' book The Road Ahead, which predictions have not yet come true but still seem likely?

AI: In his book "The Road Ahead," Bill Gates makes a number of predictions about the future of technology and society. It's difficult to say which of these predictions have not yet come true, as the book was published in 1995 and many of the predictions are still in the process of being realized.

Some of the predictions that Gates makes in the book that may still be in the process of coming true include:

1. The rise of the internet: Gates predicts that the internet will become an increasingly important part of daily life and will transform the way we communicate, learn, and do business. While the internet has certainly become a central part of modern life, it is still evolving and its full potential has not yet been realized.

2. The proliferation of personal computers: Gates predicts that personal computers will become more powerful and widely available, and that they will be used for a wide range of applications. While personal computers have certainly become more powerful and widely available, they are still a relatively new technology and it is possible that they could continue to evolve and be used in new and unexpected ways.

3. The development of artificial intelligence: Gates predicts that artificial intelligence (AI) will become increasingly sophisticated and will be used to automate a wide range of tasks. While AI has made significant progress in recent years, it is still in the early stages of development and it is possible that it could continue to evolve and be used in new and unexpected ways.

4. The rise of digital media: Gates predicts that digital media will become more prevalent and will change the way we consume and create content. While digital media has certainly become more prevalent, it is still evolving and it is possible that it could continue to change the way we consume and create content in the future.

Overall, it is difficult to say which of Gates' predictions have not yet come true, as many of them are still in the process of being realized.

Looking to 2023: Life, Nature, Celebration, Empowerment

It has been a few years since I've set real New Year's Resolutions; in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are just trying focused on survival, making it through, looking forward to an uncertain unknown when maybe life will be better again. The pandemic isn't really over, but we're kind of over it, and the world has almost returned to some semblance of normal, if not a modified new normal which is much of the old but with scars and small reminders of the virus. Instead of resolutions, which so often go uncompleted or forgotten, themes and direction are often more lasting. I often take inspiration from Pantone's announcement of the new Color of the Year, with Pantone's vivid and almost anamorphic descriptions of a (usually) singular color answering the question, what does the world need right now? 

2023's Color of the Year is Viva Magenta, which has even in the name a mantra of life and celebration. Pantone's description of it as the choice for 2023 includes words and notions such as "rooted in nature", "a new signal of strength", "pure joy" and "experimentation and self-expression without restraint," rebellious and audacious. Right now, I feel almost none of those things, and so it’s like the color is calling to me to demand more of my self, my life, my abilities and my vision. 

One very compelling line from Pantone is, "In this age of technology, we look to draw inspiration from nature and what is real." I recently saw on Twitter a prompt asking what the most impactful technology was in 2022, and I without even looking at the responses, I considered it for a moment and was certain that 2022 was the year of Artificial Intelligence. AI has made some really interesting leaps this year; I've seen the impacts at my work, played around with novel AI apps and read some fascinating stories about AI advancements. In a job market where it seems like there just aren't enough interested and qualified workers to do the work, one must at some point consider how we utilize our current knowledge workers to do more, and telling them to work harder is simply not an option, so amending their abilities with technology like AI seems like the only path forward.

Yet, as Pantone reminds us, we want to live in the real world. Technology like AR and the metaverse has not (yet) absorbed us into its hold in a semi-permanent obsessive state, and we're already seeing the seeds of people wanting more, wanting reality, wanting nature, not tech, to absorb them. 

The theme of empowerment speaks both to the amazing technologies now at our fingertips and the sense of choice people have discovered through the pandemic - having had too much time perhaps to consider what it is we really want in life and adjusting values accordingly, make it difficult, especially in the workplace, to return to what once was normal. Yet that empowerment seems to be tinged with a sense of unknowing - we can make our own choices but what if we're wrong? And I think the inspiration of returning to nature provides the safety net we need to move forward despite the self-doubt. Indeed, the closing line of Pantone's description is that the color, "invoking the forces of nature… galvanizes our spirit, helping us to build our inner strength." 

Taking my queues from the colorful description of an otherwise medium-dark red, and my own observations and desires, I wonder aloud here what I should strive for in 2023. Rather than a list of things to do or end goals to achieve, I have described here themes to work on with some specific ideas on how to feel I've grown in those areas.

Life: Be an active participant

I feel like I've struggled recently with how my life has been going, and the last couple years has felt like my hands aren't on the steering wheel. Circumstances have led to the feeling of being defeated, like things aren't in my control, and I lack the willpower to change things or to fight for what I want. It requires much less resistance to go with the flow and let things happen to me. I remember being so motivated, intentional, ambitious and active in my 20s and I think the thing that scared me the most about my  30s was that I could never be that good again. And perhaps I let that fear become my reality instead of fighting against that notion and raising the bar for myself. Rather than be a passive observer of my life passing before me, there are a few things I need to be more intentional about, and I need to get over myself and my desire for motivation in order to do those things. I feel like I lack purpose, but celebrating life should be purpose enough, and especially rebounding from the pandemic, having a home I feel comfortable in and a job which allows work/life balance, perhaps this is the perfect time to take back my life's direction. 

• Buy my land
• Increase discipline in health routines
• Have a mindfulness weekend retreat
• Do that regularly
• Have a blog-a-thon to write about topics already started
• Book/plan vacation
• Complete >1 from room renovation 
  

 

Nature: Go deeper into outer space 

Space has always been a very casual interest for me, and I've been blessed with many opportunities to explore it in depth which I may not have taken full advantage of in hindsight. I'd like to take a more active interest and utilize the local Griffith Observatory as a support mechanism to do so. Starting with, first and foremost, making an effort to watch the monthly virtual program and an initial visit to the observatory to take in the museum and telescope usage. Ironically, this idea came to me when I asked an AI chatbot, ChatGPT, to create a Los Angeles bucket list. Or perhaps it is not ironic, but compelling, that AI can amend our knowledge of the world around us and the immediate things to empower us to be better versions of ourselves. 

• Listen to Planetary Radio podcast when available
• Watch All Space Considered monthly
• Visit the Griffith Observatory

Celebration: Re-build the lost connections

When I think of celebrating, I think of being around people, and that is another thing the pandemic took from us. Technology, especially social media, hinted at

bringing us closer together while they somehow isolated us more, and I have a strong desire to reconnect with people on a human level, even if I don't quite know how. There are so many wonderful people I've had in my life who may have become relegated to being facebook friends and not much else, and I want to try to re-build those even if it means facing a lot of potential rejection. As joked about recently, it can't be Christmas every day, we have to have the lows in order to celebrate the highs, and I want to bring those highs back. I also want to recoup the connection to writing, journaling and capturing my own life, work and dreams. 

• Start daily journal even if 3-sentence recap
• Plan for and stay on top of sending birthday, anniversary, holiday cards
• Seek advice and ask curious questions of people in my life

Empowerment: Create (and use) the tools to get out of my own way

I recently reviewed the ideas from Bill Gates' "The Road Ahead" from 1995, when the Internet was still a fledgling place for researchers and scientists and "The Information Superhighway" carried promise which has largely been fulfilled in ways

any futurist struggled to foresee. It reminded me of how far we've come, but also, what elements have yet to really come to fruition as predicted. I think the technology is here, but we have to figure out how best to use it. Truly, that has been a philosophy of mine for years, and only becomes truer with more technological advances. The better tech we have in our palms, the harder it is to discern between the best ways to use it and the easiest ways to use it, the latter of which is a trap, what many books and articles are warning us against. While Viva Magenta is a lot about getting back to nature and drawing inspiration from nature, I think it also is about carving our path in this world of technology, which is to say that it doesn't have to work against us but in fact can aide us in our desire to connect with nature and being our best in our own nature. That is what futurists envisioned as these new technologies emerged, and that is for us individually to choose with intention on when and how technology serves us. 

• Auto-add/update calendar with activities of interest
• Utilize AI and scripting to hone trends and market gaps
• 3D print some useful items
• Invest in architecture software and education, and design home of the future
• Influence recruiting at work via communications team - consider TikTok channel
• Develop better graphics and display for my Show Mode

I hope you find some inspiration, or considerations, for the coming year. With all the hopes and aspirations, be kind to yourself, be generous with others, and make 2023 a great year in your own way!

These AI-Generated Bucket Lists Inspired Me

A question was recently posed on Twitter: "What was the most impactful technology of 2022?" and I mentally answered almost instinctively: Artificial Intelligence. While AI has been in development for years and theorized about for decades and even centuries, and is far from the Promised Land of AI even today, I think it made some huge strides in 2022 and also made its way into the public's hands like never before this year. 

From AI-generated artwork based on user inputs, AI morphing selfies into cartoon characters and other stylized self-portraits, to virtual AI "friends" and chatbots to help with anxiety and other wellness concerns, articles surfacing of AI bots having self-realization and sharing human-like beliefs, it just seems to have dominated the technology conversation this year. Most recently, however, my employee turned me onto ChatGPT which writes lengthy bits based on prompts, including writing code or blog posts. Don't worry, I have no intention of using it to write my blog posts here, except as excerpts to demonstrate the technology's prowess and shortcomings. While ChatGPT has known and stated limitations (especially that the data is only current up to 2021), I wanted to share some of the most interesting bits I got out of it (so far). 

Below are the prompts and responses I got from ChatGPT regarding bucket lists. Before presenting the lists, I want to share a few insights that really struck me. 

First of all, I've lived in LA County for over a year and a half, and love space, and I had no awareness or consideration of the Griffith Observatory until this list. This opened up a whole rabbit hole for me of podcasts and planning a trip to the observatory and consideration of becoming a member. All because the AI generated a list which I hadn't yet seen. 

Much of the California Bucket List resonated with me, having either done them intentionally as part of my Life List or as part of my California Bucket List to take advantage of our time here. 

This sort of resource could be a jumping off point for when we move to a new location, generating local and regional bucket lists as well as interest-based bucket lists within a geographic region. The results are both impressively accurate and incredibly compelling and actionable. 

I hope these lists inspire you as well, and if you want to try creating your own, check out ChatGPT while it is available to the public!