An Invitation for a Princess: My Non-Traditional Thanksgiving Weekend

In recent years I've turned to non-traditional Thanksgivings for the holiday at the end of November, such as going to a Las Vegas buffet, or going to the beach. This year I made no plans to go home or to spend it with family. Earlier in the year I had hoped that Sam and I would get together but he ended up making other plans. My next idea was to use the long weekend to fly to Florida and scout out some properties to potentially buy. But after the recent hurricane, I started to shy away from that plan. Then I finally got the news from work that I'd be going to Italy for two weeks of training and collaborating on F-35s. This is an endeavor we've been plowing away at since the beginning of the year, so I am very ecstatic to see it coming to fruition. But it meant we would leave at the tail end of the Thanksgiving weekend. So rather than make crazy travel plans and stress myself out, I spent the long weekend at home, by myself, doing me things. I did some self care and I've finally been in the mood for DIY so I worked on my house (side note: it's simple, but I was very happy with a few installations of hooks in my shower, especially repurposing the failed sea turtle ukelele hook I 3D printed years ago into a razor holder - and the green and pink coordinates like Wicked were a happy accident). I sometimes joke that I work hard at DIY because I'm a princess and I want things exactly as I want them. DIY Princess - that might be a good title for my next design book.

Now, I am not usually a "me time" kind of person, nor do I usually enjoy spending time by myself. But after being ghosted by the latest potential match on the dating app, I am just so disheartened. I should also mention that Sam and I have rekindled a bit this month and I feel better than ever about our relationship. So while it's hard to be away from him, I'm honestly so into him that I'd rather be alone in between our visits than try to fill the gap with some local guy who just can't measure up to Sam.

To be fair, I did have a Thanksgiving day invite from a gentleman at work. We had been at a work happy hour the week before and I guess I must have said something about not having family here and not planning to go home for the holiday. I'm guessing he's a bachelor, too, by the way he phrased his invitation. Something like, "I was thinking I'd invite over people like you who don't have family to spend the holiday with; I could cook a turkey and make some sides and all of that. It may just end up being the two of us, though, I'm not sure who else might come." Is he interested in me? He's a nice enough guy I suppose, I don't really know him too well but when I hear him talk over the wall at work he sometimes makes me roll my eyes and other people have picked up on it and commented on it, too. And his stories just go on and on… yeah, probably best I don't give him hope or pursue anything with him, it would clearly only end in disaster and then awkwardness at work and work events.

Anyways, when I bought this house, I had christened it with the name of, "Just Ugly Enough" because it has good bones and a good structure, nothing structural really needed, but the color scheme is atrocious. That way, I don't feel bad splashing up my own, sometimes a bit "out there", color scheme. If it's all cosmetic work that's needed, then I can only improve upon it with some modern updates and fun colors. Contrast that with the very sexy modern house with the amazeball pool and hot tub in the backyard. I still dream about that pool, especially the feature where you can put a chair in the shallow end and sit in the pool without being in the pool. That was my first choice of house, although the commute was terrible, the cost was higher and I felt there was little I could do without taking away from the aesthetic, even though I wanted to. But oh, that pool. And I very much miss having a hot tub, especially now that the temperature has dropped from 80 down to 50 literally overnight.

Alright, so "Just Ugly Enough" has needed a redesign and I've been playing with color schemes since even before I officially owned the house and moved in. But I've not been fully satisfied and convinced of my designs in both the primary bedroom and the main family room, the two areas I want to attack first. The kitchen is meh but it's okay. It's the family room I've really wanted to do something with, and my primary bathroom, but without knowing what to do with the primary bedroom, I've been hesitant to start on the bathroom. I also started to realize how inundating a big paint project is and how little I actually enjoy painting. I could hire someone, but that takes effort too. And even if I hire someone, the decision still needs to be made what color to paint in. After hee-hawing for months, I finally decided to try to fit a close proximation of the color scheme I want to apply to the fireplace and built-in shelves and décor while keeping the main wall color the light boring beige that it already is. With that constraint in mind, I was able to come up with a design I was thrilled with. Oh yeah, I should mention, most of my winning designs and indeed the final design included painting my fireplace a nice shade of hot pink.

I slept on it for a few nights and then decided to commit to it. I put up painter's tape around the fireplace, and relocated the TV from its perch on the hearth. I pulled my paint color samples out and found the four best ones and put them on the fireplace to help me decide what exact color would work with the lighting in the room throughout the day. Having made my decision, I brought it to Home Depot the weekend before Thanksgiving and got a gallon mixed up. The name of the paint color was, "Invitation for a Princess." Using a roller, I painted the

majority of the fireplace. But, brick is tricky and the mortar here is very deep, so I quickly realized I'd have to go over it all with a brush or small sponge to get all up in between the bricks.

Having painted just the first coat and not getting in the mortar yet, I sat down to watch some TV and admired the color - I was in love! Once I started filling in the mortar, having considered not filling it in or perhaps painting it a contrasting color like white or gray, I realized making it pink too was the right call, and loved it even more. With such a bright color, adding pattern would only make it too busy and painful to look at, I think. Now, with the very tall ceiling I have in the main room, and the fireplace going all the way to the top, I knew painting at height would be an annoying challenge. I have plenty of ladders, that's not the problem. In fact, the ladder I ended up using the most was the one I bought to finish up my water closet in the Palmdale house - just a straight telescoping ladder, nothing fancy. But it is tall! And also, terribly uncomfortable to stand on at length. Hence, it didn't take long for me to tire of painting while on the ladder, my back writing in pain.

Leading up to Thanksgiving, almost out of the blue I decided I wanted to make homeless care packages and hand them out as part of my way of focusing on gratitude. So I perused Amazon, first just searching for homeless care packages, which there were plenty but a lot of it was about warm stuff like gloves and emergency blankets and beanies. I mean, it does get chilly here but I didn't think that should be the focus of the kits I handed out. I did get some other ideas from that search, though, and ended up buying in bulk the following: draw string back packs  (to hold the stuff), beef jerky packets, non-rinse bathing towelettes, and socks. Then I went to the store and bought Ritz with sectioned off sleeves and travel deodorants. I haven't been eating my protein bars lately in favor of lower carb foods, and seeing as they expired soon I thought those would be good to include. And I dug up my stash of hotel-provided mini soaps, lotions, shampoos, body washes and dental kits and mouthwashes.

As is so often the case, I may have been a bit ambitious with my holiday weekend. I had decided I also wanted to see the Wicked movie in the theater and wanted to get my pedicure and eyebrows did. Plus I wanted to do some programming, take a relaxing salt bath, practice my dance routine and workout, clean up around the house, finish packing for Italy and visit Old Chicago for lunch to have a cheat pizza I've been craving for three weeks.

Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, I thought that I might even finish painting the pink, or Invitation for a Princess rather, on the fireplace while the stores were still closed, so I opted to throw a couple samples of the gray I wanted for the hearth and the mantle, made a decision on which one was the best and got a pint of it. This was all just in case I finished and needed the next paint job to keep myself busy.

I ended up working late Wednesday evening and didn't make time to assemble the homeless care packages, so I did that Thursday morning while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Then I took my extended glorious bath and booked tickets to see Wicked. I don't think I realized how long that film was - when I got out it was practically bed time but I hadn't yet distributed the homeless care packages. So I started driving towards the Stockyards and definitely came across a "target rich environment." I was nervous the first time I spotted a likely candidate and drove past, but  convinced myself to turn around and get the nerves. I realized I felt better handing the bags out my passenger window - more distance and less ability for someone to grab me, for instance. Homeless people are associated with a high rate of mental illness and PTSD. Once I handed out a few bags, I found my confidence and was able to easily find more people to give the bags to, until I was all out. Even driving away I saw a couple more people whom I hadn't gotten to. I started thinking more about what else I should include in my next round - maybe ear coverings wouldn't be such a bad idea. I made a list on Amazon but it wouldn't deliver before my trip to Italy so I didn't purchase them (yet). But I did make up a few more bags with the remaining supplies I had already, and was able to hand those out today while I was driving around for various things.

All in all, it was a pretty good Thanksgiving. But I think today, Black Friday, has been even better. I can't quite put my finger on why. I made sure to exercise and practice my dance first thing this morning after leaving a check for the pool guy in our usual lock box - I felt so guilty I hadn't done it the prior weekend I was having dreams about it! Then I got to painting - finishing up as much as I could bare doing the mortar / cracks in between the bricks. It was exhausting. Satisfied with my progress, while not totally complete it was about as much as I could do without moving the ladder and I didn't want to introduce the possibility of getting paint on my wall.

Those activities complete, I decided it was time to reward myself with a pizza at Old Chicago and a pedi/eyebrow waxing. The timing was intentional for the latter to be close to the Italy trip so I'd look and feel as fresh as possible. Finally, an idea struck me to get my sis some get well stuff - rather than sending her a bulky package when she starts chemo. Instead, I decided to go with Massage Envy gifts cards. Naturally, then, that meant I also needed to stop somewhere and get a "get well" card. A Target was the first applicable store I saw - oh darn, I have to go to Target - and I got the cards, but David was so freaked out I had too.  

Returning home, my recycling bins had been emptied, so I picked those up from the street. All in all, it was just a really good day for me. If only I could have more days off work with nowhere to go… kind of like an Invitation for a Princess.

Reflections at Big Bend

When I arrived at the dome place the guy greeting me only spoke Spanish which at first my reaction was, "I don't speak Spanish," but then I realized I know a little bit of Spanish and I could tell him the number of the pod I was staying in at least. He confirmed the number with me and then basically signaled for me to load up my stuff into the UTV and we were on our way. It was pretty hot there when I arrived, I think about 91°, so walking around and hiking up and down the hill to explore the property, as the listing suggested, didn't sound super appealing. I was already enough hot enough and tired enough that sitting in a cold dome with nothing to do but playing my phones and listen to audiobooks etc. seemed like a really nice idea. There's something really magical about having literally no obligations. Nothing to do. I had my dinner ready for later. I had plenty of water and drinks. I had snacks. I'd use the restroom and I had no chores and nothing to take care of while I was in the dome. I considered what this magical feeling was and how I could potentially recreate it without spending $300 a night driving a huge distance to a dome. I think the problem is that when I'm at home, there's always things in my view reminding me of what I could be doing; the overwhelming list of chores and to do's is a burden on me and it's not a burden when away and and being fully taken care of, essentially in a hotel. Maybe that's why I like travel so much, especially cruises when everything is taken care of for you. You don't have to feel the weight of obligations or what you're ignoring. I love planning trips, and often when it's time for the trip to actually happen, it's been so long since I planned it that I don't actually know what's happening the next day or even the next hour. But I just follow along the itinerary mindlessly and I know that my itinerary is taking care of me.

Big Bend, for its part, was better than I expected. The campground was easy to get to and easily navigable. I enjoyed some of the hiking and the nature trails and I saw all sorts of different animals, including the coyote that visited me in the morning at my campsite. I hadn't realized that there were hot springs that we could actually bathe in, so I didn't bring my bathing suit and I sort of regretted that, except that actually it was so hot out, I'm not sure that I would have enjoyed soaking in a hot spring. Some people were getting into the river probably to cool off although that was ill advised. I had to laugh at the Mexicans technically in Mexico across the river selling burritos and tamales to people willing to wade across the river (and thus, across the country border) to pay them $10 for a little tray. The camping was good, I absolutely loved the restaurant that I went to for lunch at the lodge. I kind of wish I had stayed at that lodge, maybe next time. The alien-themed Space Domes were pretty much exactly as advertised, with the exception that I was terribly disappointed to learn that I could not see the stars, not even a single bright star, through my dome from inside on my bed. Even though there was a great view stepping outside. Outside, I had a nice comfy little couch there, and I set up my tripod and I took some spectacular pictures. The stargazing was absolutely amazing. But not being able to see that in the dome kind of took away from the whole point of the dome. Then there are the bugs. So many bugs. I don't know how many bites I have. It's got to be in the double digits. And that was with the Australian grade bug spray. I'm surprised it seems like the bugs even bit me through layers of clothing. They're vicious out here. The Space Cowboys place mentioned that Big Ben is the national park with the most bugs. I believe it! I can't believe it's early November and it's still so freaking hot here. Although when I drove up to that lodge for lunch at the restaurant it got down to about 60° I think. Amazing what elevation change can do.

All this has me thinking again about what my ideal house would be. I still think I need some sort of a bomb shelter or something in the basement to run away from whatever calamity could happen; one with lots of stores of those food packets that will last forever and water. And I want it to be somewhat comfortable so that if I needed to be there I actually would feel at home. In fact, it might be something that I do a little staycation in once a year just to make sure the supplies are all good and freshen up the water supply or something like that. Be a fun little retreat. Kind of like the dome has been for me here. More and more I think I want a walking track or running track made out of that recycled tire rubber. Something soft but firm that I can walk and run on. Although it would be great if it had a top layer that would not stain my feet so that I could walk barefoot because, you know, I hate putting on shoes and socks.

Two of the features that I really enjoyed in the dome were the light effects. In one case, there were three pretty simplistic pendant lights that were essentially the whole dome's lights and they were on a slow revolving color scheme so they would shift through the colors of the rainbow. I never thought that I would like that until now, but I really enjoyed that. The other thing was a little space cowboy, to match the theme of the place, that would project lasers and different options would project rotating galactic images. The combination of the two made for all sorts of fun colors, but as the night wore on I turned off the pendant lights and just left the galaxy lights running all night. It's a little silly and hokey but you know what, it went with the theme and I quite enjoyed it. Not sure that I would get something like that for my home, but definitely in the theme and mindset of the Space Dome it was so fitting and didn't seem silly at all.

I would say that the area around the Rio Grande campground, although it had some great wildlife chances, was pretty lackluster in scenery. Even where I was supposed to see the Rio Grande it didn't look very grande at all. Going up into the mountains towards the lodge where I went for lunch, that had a little bit more grandeur. It felt a little bit like Yosemite in the way that the monolithic mounds just soared above you with a breathtaking sheer, one of those things that pictures just don't do justice. You have to come and see it. All the more reason I kind of wish I had stayed at that lodge. But lunch with a view was great and truly that food at the lodge was absolutely amazing. I was so excited to have my leftovers for dinner. Kind of wish I had gotten the dessert also but I was stuffed at the time.

Driving down to Big Bend has given me lots of reasons why I dislike Texas. You can tell that the heat is a big problem because people have RVs or lived in buses that have a structure built over the top of them basically to capture the sun so that it's not hitting directly the exterior of their vehicle. One part felt like I was driving through Mexico. It was that poor feeling. Other than that, there's a lot of flatness, and it wasn't really pretty. There were some interesting attempts at tourist traps along the way, nothing that I would actually want to stop at, though. There is one place that looks like a freaking castle in the middle of nowhere, piqued my interest a little bit. I'll have to look more into that one. But overall, even as I was driving through really distant rural areas, I checked Zillow and the house prices weren't that much cheaper. So it seems that there's no benefit in being out in the middle of nowhere. I don't think I've ever seen so much deer roadkill than I have on this drive.

I had to laugh as I was drawing the comparisons between Australia and out here. Not that this is anything like the Australia that I've experienced necessarily, but it was described in the book I was listening to called "In a Sunburned Country." The author is an American travel writer who decided to cross Australia on

land versus the way the most Australians do which would be flying from city to city. So he was talking about these long stretches of boring landscape and nothing to see or do and the occasional very, very old dated structures or the old windmills like from the 1950s. And as he's describing these things I'm seeing them to the left and right of me as I'm driving. So I guess a lot of Texas feels like 1950s America, as does Australia. 

And a quick update if you are following my love story with Sam from Australia, we've completely reconciled as far as I can tell and Sam is super excited to see me when I go out there at the end of December, and we're already planning our next excursions beyond that. I'm so happy that we're back to normal. I think he just needed a little bit of time to process a few things, but we're happier than ever and I honestly don't want to date anyone else.