Go In Peace and Love: 2025 Reflections

I am delinquent to my usual annual review of my year. I'll blame it partially on the fact that I've caught up on making video montages for each year, and I spent much of my computer time towards the end of 2025 on creating my video, which is great. Also, I can partially blame it on a happy thought that I was just more excited to look forward and doing things, creating my story, rather than just documenting it. So I don't feel bad. Sorry, not sorry! That being said, I think there are a few really impactful things from 2025 which I would be remiss if I neglected to put into words before the memories and feelings fade completely. 

Resolutions for 2025

I set out at the start of 2025 to do some specific things which I pivoted away from, specifically around how to publish my book, and leveraging technology specifically for investing. I did publish a book, self-published rather than through a real publisher, and not the book I intended to publish - that one is still TBD - but a totally bizarre diversion from my usual writing. And it was fun! And it used technology in ways I hadn't imagined at the start of 2025. So while I didn't accomplish those specific things, I did my own thing, and isn't that really the point, anyways? 

What I did do which was aligned to my initial outlook for 2025 included dance. I performed two final performances with the Jubilee Dance Team before the group dissolved. I continued dancing socially and had probably my best Camp Hollywood yet, sharing it with a fellow engineering friend and feeling overcome by the sheer joy of the people there who are just there to dance. I know drama and political posturing exist in those groups, but I was largely immune to them, so all I saw was sheer joy for five days. And it occurred to me - shouldn't we always strive to have days like these? Even if not every day is joyful, finding days like those make the hard stuff worth it. What a revelation and privilege! 

I also set out to finish my family room and primary bathroom, and those I did and I love them. My bathroom, especially, is everything I dreamed it to be and gives me joy every day I get to wake up and use it and every night as I brush my teeth and get ready for bed. I am REALLY proud of my faux living wall made with craft supplies. It is the perfect proportion I was after, and it just feels right in that space. Home improvements, especially crazy ones, don't always work out so well, but the careful thought and planning and design iterations I toiled over paid off in this case, and that is amazing. As my friend Rachel said about it, "It's just so you!" And that's right. It's not for everyone, but it was never meant to be. It's my house, my castle, and my sanctuary. It may deteriorate my resale value, but I'm not selling right now, I'm living (here) right now. More of that, please! 

Life List #35 - Visit a concentration camp

From my Life List, I checked off one very important one to me: visiting a concentration camp. And I did it in the best way possible - with my sister, Christy, with whom we've shared book recommendations about the concentration camps and Jews during the Holocaust. The trip idea formulated out of my business trip to Milan, a city my sister strongly desired to visit. She decided to join me my last week there, and use my hotel room as a launch pad from which to explore Milan while I wrapped up my work there. Then, we considered going somewhere together - Greece, maybe, or back to Venice, a city we explored together for the first time years prior, with great memories. But when I suggested the more serious idea of going to Auschwitz, she was excited in whatever way is appropriate and not weird. I had heard that Krakow, Poland was a lovely city, but I just assumed that was something people said because what else do you say about the nearest major city to a place with such a devastating past as Auschwitz. I was wrong in all the best ways on that. 

It was a short flight from Milan to Krakow, but something changed when we arrived in Poland. Everything seemed happier, easier, safer, friendlier, better. Just better. I can enumerate ways but the parts don't seem to account for the whole, fluffy, happy feeling I had there. And I wasn't alone in that. Christy also seemed to love absolutely everything. We were so uncanningly happy in this town in which we didn't know the local language and barely understood the food. 

It started, I suppose, with the Uber ride to our hotel. The houses in the countryside were tall and boxy and somehow the most adorable houses I've ever seen. Like, I wanted to take a picture of every one of 1000 houses I suppose we passed. I would happily live in any one of those in a heartbeat. Turning into Krakow, a giant castle-like complex built of red brick greeted us. We later learned this was some utility company like a water works or something like that. What?!? 

I had booked the hotel with my excessive points, so it was free of cost to us, but they greeted us like VIPs maybe because of my status anyways. The woman who checked us in offered to make dinner reservations for us at the hotel's restaurant, and since we were sort of tired and unsure of going out on the town, we opted in. So after getting settled into the room, we prettied up a touch and headed downstairs. She escorted us into the restaurant and told the waiter to take special care of us. She even came back after we were seated to offer us a special Polish treat - she cautioned that half of Polish people love it and half don't care for it. My sister and I were also split right down the middle, I loved it and she didn't care for it, so I gladly enjoyed the half of hers she didn't eat. We ordered wine but the waiter offered us a complimentary shot of a special Polish liquor. We cheers'ed and gulped it down - it was pleasant but not our thing. The chef sent out a special small palate cleanser compliments of the house. Our appetizers and meals were all scrumptious and presumably authentically Polish. Who knew I liked Polish food so much? I certainly did not. After some equally delicious desserts and cocktails, we stumbled (from the food coma more than the alcohol) back into the elevator and passed out. 

Now, I will add that while my sister and I do have real empathy for the persecuted Jews of the Holocaust and are inspired by those stories of absolute resolutions to survive, so much so that we shared many of these stories between us, we also have a sometimes dark sense of humor. Comedic relief has been a way of coping with death and tragedy in our family, and making light of ugly situations is sort of what we do. So we knew we had to clean up our act out of respect while touring the camps, but boy did we let it loose before and after. 

The first thing I recall from our tour of Auschwitz-Birkenau was a constant feeling of having been here before. Not quite déjà vu, like I had lived this tour before, but more that everything made sense, I knew what to expect, it looked like I… remembered? It could be the effect of having seen pictures in various books, museums, video footage, internet articles, etc. I wanted to write it off as that. But the feeling was of such familiarity it was hard to write it off. It felt like I was remembering the images through the accounts I had read, as if I had lived those accounts myself, and now I was visiting the places I had visited before in my mind. That alone was a very moving and somehow comforting feeling - that the accounts were so accurate they felt like a memory to a first-time visitor, and all the more hope that such accounts will stand as evidence of the crimes that really happened and a hope that the human race will not go to such depths again. 

As a mere mortal, I think it is often hard for me, and probably most people, to comprehend large numbers. The individual accounts I had read over the years were painstakingly awful, but to imagine that those atrocities, or worse, since most didn't survive to tell their tales, to millions of people just can't be fathomed. If I read a thousand individual stories, that still would represent only a tiny fraction of the stories not learned. So I really appreciated some of the exhibits that attempted to show these magnitudes in ways we could come closer to comprehending. There were locks of hair that had been shaved off the prisoners upon arrival - most of which had been taken to factories for use in manufacturing - but even what remained was still an unbelievable amount. The shoes stripped of the prisoners, some plain and practical, others decorative and fashionable, all thrown together in a heap that still only represents a fraction, but imagining the pairs of legs belonging to people who boarded the trains and arrived to these horrors, the comprehension of the magnitude was more within reach. Then you turn the corner and witness a pile of kids' shoes - and that evokes a heightened emotion for so many reasons, as we continued to strive to comprehend. 

I also appreciated the visuals of the Cyklon B used to gas the Jews and other victims, and the models of the facilities, and the like. There was a scientific efficiency in the Nazi extermination efforts, and understanding the mechanics is a part of the equation to comprehending the horrors that occurred there, which the accounts tend not to know or detail.

At Birkenau, we had the opportunity to lay eyes on the buildings in which the prisoners were forced to attempt to sleep, many to a single bunk, and the bunks piled high and packed into the tightest of quarters. One could imagine the ease with which disease could spread in such conditions, the restlessness one might struggle with hearing the coughs, moans, cries and other human noises of so many people shoved together, and the utter exhaustion they must have felt to find some kind of comfort and solace in being in here, able to get off their feet and not be laboring, and maybe finding some warmth however slight. Much of it rendered me just speechless. 

Entering the gas chamber was downright unnerving. I knew I was safe, and yet… 

I don't ever want to do that again. I suppose most people don't. 

While the exhibits at Auschwitz helped me try to comprehend the magnitude of the human element, the vastness of Birkenau spoke of a killing machine that was still ramping up. I don't know what the Nazis would have accomplished had they not been stopped when they were, but it seemed like it could have been magnitudes worse than the already incomprehensible disaster it was. 

The end of our tour tied up with some reflections that these were fellow humans that did this to other humans, and that we need to remember so that we never repeat such atrocities. Capturing these quotes in photos and souvenirs was almost as important as visiting the place itself. 

As we headed back, we were mostly quiet, but I had to chuckle to myself at the playlist, which included, "I Want to Break Free," "Shotgun," "Rude," and "bad guy," as if the world was trying to lighten the mood with some comedic relief. Also, perhaps because I was too emotionally drained to care what people might think at that point, or maybe to fill my photo folder of something happier, I took a bunch of pictures of the adorable houses on our way back to the town. 

That afternoon, my sister had a few fun destinations she wanted to check out. We headed first to EL&N and had fun drinks and food there. Then we played around in the Be Happy Museum which was full of silly photo ops to be hilarious in. Around town, we found a Christmas store (we love that!) and heard a trumpeter play from the turret, which is just so right up my alley if you know my love of turrets and history of trumpet playing. We found ourselves double fisting drinks for some reason at whatever bar we landed at, and just genuinely enjoyed every moment of our short stay in Krakow. By the end of the day, we were devising how we could move to Poland. I've never loved a city so much in a country I knew so little about. 

Life List #33 - See the brilliance of the Milky Way

I revised my Life List at the beginning of 2025, and one of the newly added items was my pursuit of seeing the Milky Way in all its glory - as it had eluded me several times while visiting dark sky parks known for their glorious views of the night skies. Perhaps adding it to my Life List helped to make it happen, or perhaps my doubling down on my pursuit because I added it to my list is what did it. Either way, I was overjoyed to take in the views at the top of two different mountains in Hawaii, capturing beautiful photos and finally feeling satisfied by the view with the naked eye -twice. I wrote about that adventure here.

Other Life List-worthy Mentions

In addition to checking off two new things from my Life List, I doubled down on a few others. Self-publishing my book about Astoria was a second hit on #15 to Publish a book. I also had the opportunity to see a proper opera at the Syndey Opera House (my Life List called for seeing a "show" which I had done years before, planning the trip around a Postmodern Jukebox concert), to improve upon my #132. A trip to Hawaii is hardly complete without a luau, so I did #75 for a fourth time in 2025. 

As the Winter Olympics kicked off yesterday with the focal point in San Siro Stadium, seeing the stadium and the sites reminded me of how cool my time in Milan was. It feels like a decade ago, but it was just March that I spent a full month in Italy for work, during which my employee and I got to catch a soccer match at that same stadium. I had also toured the Duomo in December 2024, which featured heavily in the Olympics introduction as it is such an icon of Milan. I had visited Lake Como on both trips, but in 2025, my employee and I went to the spot where a Star Wars scene took place - the one in which Padme marries what's his face. It was beautiful! 

While I love taking pictures to help capture the amazing memories, sometimes the picture is missed, or is insufficient, so the moment needs to be remembered in other ways. After working in Australia for two weeks, Sam and I spent a few days back in Tasmania - a place even Australians rarely go once in their lifetimes, and this was our second time there. A moment I wasn't quick enough to capture in photographic proof was when a kookaburra perched on the railing of our house's deck. It was right there! And if you don't know what a kookaburra is, go google it real quick because they are the coolest looking bird in the world! They make a hilarious sound, like a monkey laughing, which we heard throughout the weekend there, but that was the only one we actually saw. What we did see a lot of were pademelons, a type of animal only found in Tasmania and of which we were not familiar previously. There were pademelons and wallabies all over the property of the house we rented. Unfortunately, they only came out at dark, so when we turned off all the lights in the house and stood on the deck long enough for our eyes to adjust, we could make out the shapes and the jumping motions, but the camera was rendered useless in capturing the sight. 

Honorable Mentions 

What else did I do in 2025? Gosh, it was really a full year, looking back. I started the year in Australia, so literally day 1 found Sam and I traveling from Hobart to Sydney, where I settled into the most amazing room at the W overlooking Darling Harbour, with its Saturday night fireworks. I went to the local Lego store which happened to be the world's largest Lego store, how I didn't realize that earlier is beyond me. Sam and I saw Hamilton in Sydney which gave me a unique perspective - actually there is a different caliber from what I was used to on Broadway compared to the Sydney show. Back home in Texas, I saw other musicals, including & Juliet, Mamma Mia, Waitress, The Outsiders, Beauty and the Beast. I went to the Fort Worth Zoo and also the Dallas Zoo for both daytime animal viewing and holiday Zoo Lights, and toured the fun (but very cold) ice sculptures based on the Elf movie at the Gaylord Resort in Grapevine. 

My sister in Tucson continued recovering from her medical issues, and it was great going out to visit and spend time with the family. 

Sam and I tried Pickleball at my local park, which was neat - until his strong man strength broke the cheap racket I had bought him. 

My parents visited for a mercifully short stay and we got to visit with my aunt and uncle just a couple hours south - well-timed, too, because my uncle passed just a few months later. When I learned the news, I put together a little video montage using some old footage of him and my Dad from their childhoods, and then added pictures from their young adult lives and more recent memories. I put it to the music of a male-sung cover of the "For Good" song from Wicked. I was really proud of that montage, and when I sent it to my Dad, he said it helped him finally to cry, which made me happy to be able to have helped him process his brother's death. 

I reconnected with my old MBA friend, Rachel, who lives in Waco. Talking at length with really smart people is so inspiring to me, I need to remember to do more of that.

I visited my sister in Raleigh, and we did a fun hike and went to a piano bar for tipsy hilarity. At App State, I got to do a shot with my nephew and his roommates, and take him and his girlfriend to the football game. 

My former dance instructor from Arizona came out to Texas for work and we got to catch up and go to a dance on two separate occasions. 

I finished the year in Tucson for an extended stay with my family. The kids surprised me with a trip to the observatory which was a great highlight. While wrapping up with a lunch picnic, one of the volunteer docents sat with us and in our conversation, he commented that I'd "make a really good docent," which reminded me of the joy I got from being a docent at the Poppy Reserve in California, and made me consider looking into something similar in Texas, even if it is Texas. 

I pursued my dream of owning land in Florida, carving out a fun extended weekend for myself there, falling in love with one particular property, and buying it. 

While working in Georgia, I got to see some F-22 and F-35 flybys and an F-22 launch, and I attempted to go swing dancing only to discover it was a West coast place, and tried it anyway. 

I also got to swing dance in Sydney when I went back for work, which was so much fun! 

While working in Australia, we had lunch right by the runway one day and got to watch the F-35s do touch-and-go's. 


All in all, I had a busy work travel schedule in between which (or sometimes extending and amending off those trips) I managed to take some really amazing vacations, do a ton of dancing, nerd out on airplanes, make some happy spaces in my house, and most importantly, spend time with friends and family I love. One of the most interesting parts of the Blue Zone theories and the Outlive book and the futuristic views being presented is that in all things, the importance of relationships of all kinds is pivotal, key to survivability and longevity and happiness, and only growing in importance. So this has been a focus of mine to reach out more, connect more, and appreciate more. And when I looked back at 2025, even though the romantic relationship I hoped would be my forever one didn't work out, I feel so blessed to have lived with intention, joy, and connection throughout. 

Go in peace and love. 

Ryan >

Dating life update time! 

 

Reeling from the conversation with Sam, in which he is so not committed, including not even sure if he would ever live with me and move in with me, even if I happened to live in Sydney, etc... I just don't know what to do with that at this point, except that I think I need to start pulling back and protecting my heart, and maybe start dating in earnest again. Of course, he's always encouraged me to date locally, especially because I like a lot of physical contact and he's really not into PDA. And, let's be honest, he's been less and less into a lot of cuddles and touching even when we're alone. 

 

Part of me, a really desperate part of me, started thinking about silly Kevin in California. My heart hurts a little bit for him because he was going through something that he couldn't (or wouldn't) talk to me about; I think he was in some sort of home, seeking serious treatment, and I wish I could have been there for him in a better way. But he also had a part in shutting me out, and I can't let myself feel at fault for that. Our last communication was a little harsh on my part but I'm not going to feel sorry for it because he was being ridiculous and he needs to own his part of the whole thing. And if he wanted to reconcile with me, he should have reached out. 

 

Still, I was reflecting during my more desperate moments, how much I enjoyed his physical affection. He was absolutely so wild and I really enjoyed it - even if it was a little over the top. What I didn't like about him was that it didn't feel like I could take him out in public anywhere, because he would be super negative and he would get a little extra when he was around my friends or when he had too much to drink. So I didn't feel like there was any good long-term social life I could have with him. Still, there's something to be said about the need to touch and be touched, in an affectionate way, and otherwise.

Enter Ryan. His profile pics were good looking, and he wasn't too young, but gave me vibes that he was maybe immature. He doesn't have a degree. He works in retail. Basically does whatever job he needs to do to pay rent. Not that that's a problem for me, it's just different than my usual type. Then again, it was exactly my type for ten years, so what am I really saying here? Different than Kevin and Sam, and Justin and Brandon... just different.

 

For our first date, I invited him, of all things, to come swing dancing with me. I was pretty much not expecting him to actually show, but I went along with the conversation to see where it would lead, and I figured, if he didn't show, I'd just dance like I would have anyways. I told him, you really needed to go to the lesson because just trying to fake it wasn't going to work. He resisted at first, but he got the message. To my surprise, he showed up. He was a little bit grungier than in his pictures, but I could see there was a really good looking guy under there. Our first date didn't feel like a date. It didn't feel like anything really. He tried outsmarting the lesson, and quickly learned that wasn't going to work. But he was a trooper through it and through the whole dance and never complained once about it being too hard or being too weird of a situation. He had had a little to drink to calm his nerves before coming, and took a break for a drink at his car. 

 

As the night went on, he moved his body physically closer and closer to me on the seat and pushed his legs up against mine. And when we were dancing towards the end of the dance, he just had that look in his eyes like he was about to kiss me. I would turn my head because that's not the right place to have kisses in my opinion, but I definitely appreciated the attention. When the dance was over, I suggested we go grab something to eat or drink, and we went to the nearby grill and bar place. 

 

I think what I absolutely loved about that night was, as we were walking from the parking lot, he quickly grabbed my hand and held it comfortably like we were old lovers. And then even more so, as we were walking into the restaurant, he put his arm around my waist and it just felt like he was magnetically attracted and attached to me. It felt so good to be touched and wanted like that from a guy that I didn't even really know! He seemed a little discouraged that I suggested he sit across from me instead of next to me, but we held hands across the table to make up for his inability to have his arms and legs wrapped around me. We had drinks and fried pickles (he made me choose) and by this time he was very drunk and a little silly, but the conversation flowed and he laughed at all my bad jokes - huge brownie points. What's more, he genuinely seemed to think I was hilarious! 

 

After closing out, we made out in the parking lot at my car. I liked kissing him. He didn't try to move too fast. He wasn't trying to get an invite or suggest we  get in the back seat or anything like that. He was just sweet and affectionate - so affectionate!

He texted me when he got home. He texted me the following day to say good morning. He was both obviously busy and yet attentive, and the perfect combination of those two. 

 

We decided to meet up next at a ramen restaurant that he recommended. He was not only early but had already put our name in for a seat and said that it was going to be a little while, so he took my hand and we walked around the adorable shopping area for a bit. And again, I just loved how moving with him felt like we were a couple that had been together forever and were still madly in love. It just felt so good, and so natural. 

 

Sitting down at the ramen restaurant, we weren't drinking and had a more sober conversation but it still flowed well and was a lot of fun. Even though we have almost nothing in common, it was really enjoyable and I could see myself having many more chats with this cute guy. He seems a lot smarter in some ways than he probably gives himself credit for, but it's those pesky kind of smarts that aren't easily translatable into academics or an easily lucrative career. It makes me think about the future of people like him, when everything in retail and labor is automated. But in the meantime, we again made out in the parking lot and I really enjoyed touching his chest. He, again, didn't try to make any moves on me beyond kissing and he just seemed really into me. 

For our third time together, I invited him over to watch movies and cuddle on the couch. I thought for sure that this would be when he would make a move and try to be more intimate with me, but to my surprise, and maybe a little disappointment, he didn't. We just had a great time sitting on the couch, watching movies. He had his arm around me pretty much the entire time and let me leave my hand on his leg, and we kissed and we talked. He wanted me to choose the movie so I put on a film that I'd been wanting to see for a while and we enjoyed it together and idly chatted about it as it played out. We took a margarita break and then he showed me one of his Gundam movies and he attempted to explain it to me. It wasn't my thing and I was honest about it, but he expressed gratitude that I tried it. Still, it felt so comfortable, like I could do this all the time with him.

Oh, so get this: He has never been on an airplane! I just cannot wrap my head around this concept. I mean, I work on airplanes for crying out loud! Not that I've ever flown in the airplanes I work on, but still, I take airplanes everywhere, all the time. I've flown - I can't even tell you how many times - and he's never flown anywhere! So I am dead set that we are going to fly somewhere. I don't care where it is. I would love to have it be somewhere fun, but like, seriously, he needs to go on an airplane with me. There's a little part of me that is both also set on him trying coach for his first flight, and also disappointed because that means I won't be able to apply first class. Maybe a short lived trauma, I just want to make sure he has a real airplane experience before I upgrade us to first class in the future. Ha, the future! With him. With Ryan. 

 

I asked him where he would want to fly to if he could have a trip anywhere. He's talked about Japan before so that's definitely on his list. But he mentioned Florida and how he wanted to go to Disney World. It suddenly occurred to me, and I immediately told him about, how I wanted to do my birthday at the Animal Kingdom Lodge with the Savannah view to see the giraffes and stuff from my room. I've wanted to do that for years, ever since I found out you could do such a thing. I already knew he really likes animals, so when I told him about the idea, he got so excited about the prospect of doing that with me. 

 

So here I am, having seen this guy three times, and planning a trip to Florida to stay at one of the more expensive resorts and doing Disney World, because I want to and because he needs to fly. Yep, I want us to do that together. 

 

I have no idea what this means for me and Sam at this point. I'm still crazy about Sam - I think. I worry sometimes that I like the exotic idea of dating him too much. I know I like the philosophical and intellectual conversations we have, and this guy is definitely not going to be doing that. But just the way that Ryan touches me and holds me, and is just so sweet and affectionate and modest, and doesn't seem to care or have a strong opinion about how we are together... I just really feel comfortable with him. 

 

Ryan reminds me a lot of Kevin in the way he physically shows his affection. There are other similarities, their disposition and general outlook on life seem similar, and a few differences, like Kevin's education and career. Yet it seems like Ryan is an upgraded version of Kevin. And he's better than Sam on the physical touch. He's closer geographically. I mean, that's definitely a huge benefit - being in the same time zone means we text throughout the day. He's also closer to me than Kevin in California, too. And of all the other guys that I've dated in Texas, this guy is just, better. I really enjoy being with him. And bonus points, he currently lives with his ex-, which means he is likely open to living with a girlfriend in the future. That shouldn't mean a lot, but it does in light of things.

 

I was going to title this blog something about Ryan being better than [fill in the blank]... and I couldn't really fill in the blank. Sam still means a lot to me, and I wouldn't say Ryan is holistically better. They're different, and that makes a comparison difficult, if not unnecessary or potentially hurtful. Right now, I don't need to choose. And there is a sense of peace I get from knowing that I have Sam in the capacity that he lets me, but that I'm also free to explore others, like Ryan. But there's something more with Ryan that I can't quite figure out how to express. So I left it as Ryan is greater than.

 

And again, it's early. I don't know what any of this means. But I'm really excited. While I've been in Florida, he's been texting me and admiring my adventures and keeping me entertained with his. I wish he could have come, especially given the airplane thing, but he couldn't make it happen with his work schedule on such short notice. But he's excited about the idea of going to Florida with me in the future and I just can't wait. It's taking a lot of my energy to resist the urge to book the whole thing right now, but I figure I should probably talk through options with him just to make sure he's comfortable with it. 

 

What I do know, though, is that every time I see him and I say good night, I just can't wait to see him again. I get a thrill through my body when he texts me. He's not sending me silly 11:11 pictures. He's texting me meaningfully. And it's been a minute since I've felt like that about someone like him.

The Three Things Everyone Should Learn: Act III

You have undoubtedly heard or seen the outcries that music and art programs are being cut from school budgets and why this is bad for the kids. But there's a good chance that you don't comprehend what YOU are missing out on, if you don't dance. It's not all artsy-fartsy, it is just as practical, maybe even more so, than the other two "must-learns" in this series. Don't believe me? Read on. 

Dance has been a part of almost every culture since the beginning of civilisation, and for that reason among others, represents more diversity than the diversity of the world's languages and religion combined. Two people dancing the same genre can have their own incredibly unique stylizations, and new forms of dance spring up, especially in densely populated regions, all the time. At the core, it is aerobic, so it's good for the heart and a great way to lose weight. But it's so much more than other aerobic activities, because it is expressive, mentally challenging (in a fun way, of course) and uses varying muscle groups at different times and in different styles. You learn about yourself and become more aware of your surroundings as you learn to dance.  Have you ever been in line at a grocery store or similar setting, and had been bumped into multiple times by someone whose back is to you? I would say that this lack of spacial reasoning can be alleviated with dance and experience on the stage or in a crowded dance floor. It's a personal pet peeve of mine, and a compelling reason to me to keep (better yet, increase) the arts in schools. 

Science Tells Us to Dance

Look, there are a lot of artistic aspects of dancing, but that doesn't mean

science is absent from it. Children at very young ages intuitively move, clap and wiggle when they hear music they presumably enjoy. So it's built into our DNA. Nobody, or at least almost nobody, is literally born with two left feet. If you can walk (and even for many who can't walk), the capability is there; whether it comes easily or with great difficulty may depend on how much musical background you have, but you can always start developing it now. As we get older, we need dance even more; compared to other physical activity like walking or biking, dancing activates more parts of the brain, keeping us mentally healthier, and reducing the chances of dymentia and alzheimer's. 

Society Tells Us to Dance

At many traditional types of weddings, one of the first acts of a newly married couple is the first dance. We start much earlier than, with school dances being a major part of the traditional high school experience. There are several popular

TV shows dedicated to dance competitions, such as Dancing with the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, and Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. Amazing Race challenges often also involve local dance styles. Dancers perform at top award shows, during half time for basketball and football games, and in music videos. Football players themselves express touch down victory through their unique end zone dances. There are many popular quotes about dancing like nobody is watching and the like. My favorite of these is, "It's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." I don't think it's meant to be taken literally, but if you do learn to dance in the rain literally, then you can learn to handle the things life throws at you. 

To me, one of the most compelling reasons to learn to dance, besides the health benefits, is that dance is so social. Whether it's a girls' night out at a hot night club or a ballroom dance workshop, relationships can be forged in the comraderie of dancing experiences. I think dance teaches you to be comfortable in your skin, and gives you confidence, and when you have that then you can go out dancing by yourself and make friends. I met my boyfriend at a dance workshop that I attended by myself not too long after a rough breakup. If I had needed someone to go to the workshop with me, I either wouldn't have gone at all, or I wouldn't have put myself out there nearly as much. But because I went alone, he and I started talking, and we were dating within a week or so. Guys I've met otherwise, in school, at bars, through online dating, haven't worked out for me in the long run. 

Employers Tell Us to Dance

Creativity is one of the most valuable assets to employers. Communication skills is another. Ability to learn and adapt is also valuable. Dance may not be on most job requirements, but it can enhance and develop these crucial

characteristics. Many styles of dance entail both choreography and improvisation, and each of those develops different abilities. When improvising, you have to literally think on your feet, recalling your vocabulary of moves and stringing them together in a fresh way. When learning choreography, you have to take in information quickly, commit it to memory, repeat it back and adapt as variations and styling are added. Sometimes you have to break habits, we call muscle memory, in order to perform the given choreography, which again is a challenging mental exercise. Creating and teaching choreography also require adapting, strong communication skills and creativity. 

In addition to the valuable skills you learn through dance, having dance on your resume can set you apart. Your potential employer may have had dance experience, or have a son or daughter or niece or uncle who dances, and it can create an instant point of connection and interest other than your work in your day job. When I say I dance, people almost always want to know more, like what style and where do I dance, how did I get into it, etc. It's a great way to show that you're more than a (fill-in-the-blank) worker, with an artistic and very human flair. 

Get Started

I won't try to hide my bias; I think a great way to start is by taking some east coast swing dance lessons. It's fun, doesn't require crazy hip movements or stiff arm positions, and it can be danced to different tempos of music. Maybe best of all, you get to pair off with members of the opposite sex, because it is a very social dance. 

Lindy hop and Charleston are very closely related to east coast swing, and blues, balboa are somewhat related. So if you get involved with one, you'll probably get exposure to the others, and eventually want to learn them as well so you can go in and out of them seamlessly. 

I believe it is important to study multiple kinds of dance, even just a little of each. I've found that I can incorporate bits and pieces from one style into another, and having a broad vocabulary of dance styles allows me to also pick up new styles easier. Other styles I've enjoyed taking classes in include hip hop, tribal belly dance and pole dance. The only downside is that those are less social, more about performing alone or with a group. 

Lots of people enjoy salsa and the various related styles as much as I enjoy

swing. Both swing and salsa have whole communities with various venues in many regions, meaning you can pick up those styles and go dancing several nights a week if you want. Interestingly, there are many moves that are shared between salsa and swing, and simply stylized differently. So if you've gotten good at one, it's not as hard to learn the other. 

There's so much more I haven't even touched on here, but to wrap up, I'll summarize by reiterating that dance is good for your physical health, mental health, social life and work life. And yes, it can be a spiritual activity to, so it is good for your soul. I dare you to find another activity or topic that applies to so many aspects of our lives. Mind, body, heart and soul, what else is there? Just dance.

Fitness That Doesn't Break the Bank

I definitely feel the pain of a facebook friend who recently posted a grievance about the cost of eating healthy and fun forms of exercise.  Specifically, the complaint was that a McDonald's burger is cheap and a salad is expensive, and sitting on the couch is free but playing in sports costs a bundle, therefore no wonder our society struggles with obesity.  I think we can all relate to this feeling, and the notion that of course our kids and our society as a whole are fat!  I have definitely found this oddity in my own struggle to lose weight, but I've also found some solutions, which I feel compelled to share in hopes of inspiring others.  

Hiking

Lucky for me, my region is full of awesome mountains to climb with decent hiking paths, and access to most are free, others charge a small fee.  While hiking can be brutal when unmotivated or in the wrong mood, it can also be very rewarding.  One thing I discovered (or re-discovered) recently was that having my dog along helped distract me from the annoyance and burn of hiking uphill.  She really pulled me along, but she also took my mind off the difficult activity.  I don't think it would be the same if it was someone else holding the leash for their dog, I think it works best for me if I'm in charge of encouraging her and holding her back.  One of the best parts about hiking as a form of exercise, as opposed to riding a stationary bike or dancing at home, is that there's a definitive goal and end point; you can't exactly decide you're done in the middle of a hike and sit down to watch TV for the rest of the day.  

Just Make It - but make it simple

I enjoy a good salad, but I'm a bit finicky in the kinds of veggies and fruits I'm willing to eat on a regular basis.  There are few places that make a good salad, in my opinion, and realistically, there are none to my knowledge that do it at a decent price in a healthy way.  Caesar Salads taste great at most places, but the dressing is far from healthy, and the salad often costs more than something full of carbs and fried goodness.  Defeated by my salad woes, I, the woman who turns on her oven only a few times a year and never does anything resembling cooking besides warming up leftovers or frozen foods in the microwave, caved in to making my own salads.  But I cheat a little, and this is why it works for me.  From the grocery store, I buy mostly everything sliced and diced and cut already, which greatly reduces the amount of time I spend preparing my salad.  A typical salad for me consists of shredded lettuce, shredded carrots, baby tomatoes (whatever those are called), slices of bell pepper or mini bell peppers, shredded cheese (but not too much) or crumbles of feta, diced ham or chunks of pepperoni.  I've found a number of things to use as "dressing" that are also rather healthy: lime juice, red wine vinegar, chili garlic sauce (the last of which also helps me consume more water - spicy!).  I know my tastes are a little unique, so I don't expect my readers to go out and reproduce this exact thing, but that's the point: find what works for you, and make it delicious and healthy.  Then when you go to the store, you know the items you need to throw together.  I also usually make two or three salads at a time when I make them, so I don't have to pull everything out of the fridge three times.  

Drink Water Rules

The more water I drink, the better I feel.  Without drinking a lot of water, I tend to look tired, get migraines, and sometimes get so nauseous I throw up.  But water is always a good thing to drink, so I don't know why I do this to myself.  My solution: make rules about my life that involve water.  There are times when I find a craving that I think is for ice cream or cheese or chocolate, but really I was just thirsty.  So I try to always drink water before doing something indulgent.  It also helps you feel fuller faster, so you eat less of a large meal (in theory).  Carrying your own refillable bottle is one of the best ways to ensure you always have water on hand to help fight misplaced cravings.  

Water Rules:

Before eating a dessert or candy, drink 8 oz of water.

Before opening a can of soda, drink 8 oz of water.

When I want to play my game on my phone, I need to drink 8 oz of water.  

Before prepping or going to lunch, drink 8 oz of water. 

Earning Television

Like my drink water rules, I also have rules about watching TV, although I admittedly don't always obey them.  But here's the concept: one episode of anything is a freebie per day.  For every additional episode of a show, I have to do 50 crunches and 32 leg lifts on each leg.  I picked those two exercises because those are the areas of my body I want to work on most, and that are not serviced much by my dancing and hiking activities.  

Replace Caffeine with Peppers

No joke, I often tell people that I get a high on eating spicy peppers like jalapenos, but it is a legitimate way to increase metabolism, get a boost of energy, and yes, even get a little natural high.  I eat them straight, but if you don't have that kind of tolerance, try putting diced jalapenos (also available in the grocery store) in your salad or put slices (available at the store) on your pasta.  If jalapenos are too much, try pepperocinis or banana peppers to start.  The seeds are the spiciest part, so be aware of that as you prepare to eat peppers.  Another tip for eating spice: don't suck in air while you're eating, its insinctual because its "hot" but its not temperature hot, and oxygen only makes the spice work harder.  Instead, keep your mouth closed until the pepper or spicy food has been swallowed, then take a glug of cold water and hold it in your mouth before swallowing.  If it gets too hot, grab some bread or cheese or milk to cool it down, but keep trying to cool it off with water, otherwise you'll fill up on not-so-lean stuff.  Contrary to popular belief, hot peppers do not eat at your stomach lining, they actually improve your metabolism and help your digestion system.  Eating them also encourages consumption of water, which we all could use more of, and clears out sinuses.  

Dancing

When I think about dancing at home, I always picture the scene from Mrs. Doubtfire where Robin Williams, dressed as a woman, slides across the floor, broom in hand.  But seriously, dancing at home is a fantastic way to work out for free.  If you don't know exactly what to do, look up videos on YouTube that teach dancing.  I did some belly dancing that way, and I also use YouTube a lot to practice the few choreographed swing dances, like the Shim Sham, Tranky Doo and Big Apple.  There are lots of videos for each of those dances, all moving at slightly different paces from beginner to advanced.  So browse around a little, find what you want to do, make a playlist of it, and get off your butt and dance!  The best part is, unlike a workout video, if you get bored of a certain routine, you can swap it out for something else in your playlist.  A dancer friend of my posted a study that showed swing dancing burned more calories per minute than any sport or something like that, and even if I didn't get it exactly right, the idea that swing dancing is a rigorous, full body aerobic exercise really jives with me.  

So there you have it - those are my ideas on how to get and stay fit on the cheap.  Obviously, these are easier said than done; but paying for a gym membership also doesn't automatically make you healthy.  Exercising and eating well are disciplines, and require commitment, perseverance and maybe accountability.  One last time I will add is, when I'm not in the mood to workout or when I know I'm not drinking enough water on a particular day, I ask myself this question:  "What do I have to do tonight that is MORE important than getting healthy?"  If I answer it honestly, I usually end up in the gym gulping down water as I sweat through a solid workout.  

Utopia

I've been fascinated by the idea of utopias I think since around 4th grade when

I read The Giver (and btw, I'm soooo excited about it becoming a movie soon).  I loved books like Fahrenheit 451, 1984 and Brave New World that show an alternative view of what life could be like.  Maybe that's why, as an adult, I was so drawn to the Hunger Games series and really relate to the people of the Capital in those books, as well as the Divergent series.  I loved The Great Gatsby in high school and was thrilled with the recent movie adaptation, because the parties were just as over-the-top and out-of-control as I imagined them to be.  The current TV show by the name of Utopia I think is anything but that; it's more of a Real Life show meets Survivor.  The fact that the producers intentionally put people with very opposite extremist views is just the first hint that this mini society was meant to be a complete failure.  It's a little obnoxious how bad it is.  But there are some tidbits of interest that come out of it; Hex is by far my favorite character, alcoholism aside, because she can be level headed and talk to anyone, even if she disagrees with him or her, and ask them what their utopia is.  I think I also like her because she naturally looks like a real-life Katniss from Hunger Games, complete with being handy with a bow and arrow.  All literature, cinematography and bad reality TV aside, I still love the idea of a utopia and wondered what my utopia would be like.  

The problem with trying to create a utopia is that we're so used to what our norm is that there is a hesitation, if not outright resistance, to try anything or imagine anything different.  For example, the utopians in the TV show naturally formed a democracy without officially declaring it, and only a couple weeks in decided to formalize and modify the political structure.  One person on the show said that their utopia was one without money, but the economist in me likes the way money rewards efforts and can be spent on (somewhat) fairly equitable goods or services; an efficient market is the cleanest and best way to trade goods and services, keep costs down and drive innovation - not bartering or equal distribution.  So rather than trying to start with a blank slate and recreate a society from nothing, my utopia realization would come from removing the things I don't like and adding things I want.  

First to go: chores.  In my utopia, I don't have to clean dishes, mow the lawn, wash the windows, do laundry, sweep the floors, pull weeds, water plants, vacuum, feed the dog or even pick up after myself (let alone picking up after my roommates).  I have always related to the main character of Pippin, who believes he is just too extraordinary to be bothered by these types of everyday things.  I have these big ideas and crazy aspirations, but I have a pile of dishes in the sink that I have to attend to from time to time.  I know there are maids and landscapers available, but with three perfectly capable people living under my roof, I just have a hard time justifying spending money on simple activities that we could do on our own.  Still, chores bring me down; I like a clean house but I never enjoy cleaning.  Usually wine is the only way to get myself to clean.  If I could, like, dance and my house cleaned itself with the same effort that I put into my dancing, I think I would dance every day and never have a messy house.  That leads me to...

First to add: a better place to dance.  I have trained briefly in ballet and jazz dance, as well as performed in musicals in junior high, high school and college.  In college I also took hip hop and swing dance, and since then, I have been swing dancing on and off (with a stint of hip hop again when I went back to school for my MBA).  I love our swing dance community, but the venues never have the air conditioning capacity to support the hoards of people who come to dance.  It's a good problem to have, I suppose, but still, I think I would dance more if I didn't dread sweating in front of everyone so much.  The other issue is that I often want to dance at home to practice, and I just don't have my house arranged in a way that really supports that.  But I do like how my house is furnished, so I don't want to change it; I just want to add a huge room to the back with wooden floors and its own amazing A/C and mirrors and cameras so I can review my dance and improve myself, and a large screen (or four) to watch videos from the greats.  

Next to remove: human-driven transportation.  I know autonomous cars on a mass scale are still in the future, and it's going to be a long, long time before everyone adopts them or they are legally the only option.  But people are stupid, and driving is the most dangerous thing most of us do in our lifetimes, and we do it every day.  I personally despise driving, although I think I'm good at it (when I'm awake), and I have a problem staying awake behind the wheel at times.  Life would be so much better if I could get in a vehicle and use my laptop or watch a show while the vehicle transports me to where I need to go.  Some utopias are so small that they don't require powered transportation at all, one could easily walk or ride a bike to where they are going on a regular basis, but I don't think that's realistic, especially because I like to travel.  I don't think a small distance utopia could ever include everything I would want to do.  If we could just eliminate all bad drivers, that might make a big enough difference, but unfortunately, we all have dumb moments and I will still fall asleep.  So autonomous vehicles can't come soon enough.  Come on, Elon, I know you can do it!!  I'll be your first volunteer to test it, or your first customer, if you let me!  

Next to add: food that tastes delicious and is super healthy and exactly what I need.  This is one area where 3D printing has some potential, but its even further in the future than autonomous cars, and I'm not sure that 3D printing is really practical as the means of achieving this.  I think its a lot more of formulation and finding ways to flavor that won't cause cancer; I could care less about the shape. If I had a cheese-flavored shake that gave me all the nutrients I needed, I could switch between that and a chocolate-flavored protein shake and be pretty dang happy without solid food at all.  Ideally, certain tasteless substances could be made into several formats and textures, infused with the nutrients we need, and then flavored based on our tastes.  Imagine going to a party, having custom food made to meet your nutritional needs, but getting to try new textures and flavors that you've never tried before.  But alas, cheese is high in fat, along with pepperoni (even turkeroni, which I often eat in lieu of the real thing), and Ben and Jerry's just cannot be made healthy without taking away what makes it so amazing.  At least not yet, but I think maybe there's hope for some day.  

A big picture removal: political parties.  Okay, a lot of my items so far have been somewhat minor, personal preference type things.  But if I was designing a utopia, I would upheave the entire political system and replace it with an even more democratic process.  I wrote a whole post about this previously, so I'll only summarize it here: we would essentially vote for issues we are concerned about, establishing both the solutions and the priorities, and then voting for the people whom we think are most capable of making those things happen.  So instead of voting for a person because he is of a specific party or because she promises to do such-and-such, we vote for people based on our belief in their ability to make things happen, and we vote for the issues we care about, and we vote for what we want out of the political system.  Then its the politicians' jobs simply to execute on what the public voted for.  If they do a good job, they may get re-elected.  If they sucked a big one, we'll find someone else to lead the way.  Read more about this idea here.  

A big picture addition: more technology in schools.  I think it's a crime for people to graduate high school and college and not know more than the very basics of Microsoft Excel.  Most people don't know how to program.  With technology being so prevalent these days, I just don't think people should become professionals or go into the workforce and not understand how computer logic works.  I see people that are completely baffled by the computer programs they use every day, and that scares me.  I understand that college is more generally about learning and theories and not so much practical technical instruction, but a person with a college degree should be able to comprehend and repeat a simple Excel formula.  Kids, learn how to program; learn it early and do it often.  That will set you apart instantly, even if you don't go into programming (or I should say, ESPECIALLY if you don't go into programming), because technology is just not taught at a competency level required to be awesome in the real world.  Learning how to type should be mandatory in elementary school just like learning how to write.  Learning spreadsheets and presentations should be mandatory in junior high, just like history or science.  Learning programming, battery technology and computer maintenance should be mandatory in high school.  College should include photo and video editing, CAD or other 3D modeling, and more programming.

And more: more life skills in schools.  I consider myself lucky to have fallen into a musically inclined family, and have taken that into theater, as well as on the completely opposite end of the spectrum having a good understanding of finance and economics.  The idea of arts being pulled out of schools is appalling to me.  Even though I've never aspired to be an actress, the spacial awareness I learned in theater has had so many applications in my regular life, and I can tell instantly when a person does not have that skill.  How much better would this world be if everyone had spacial awareness, understood the financial impact of their money spending decisions, and learned not to be afraid of speaking in public?  School should not just be about memorizing dates and definitions, it should be about learning how to live life fully.  When I tell people what I do, there are a lot of people who didn't even imagine my career path existed, and I see people who fall into careers (I think) because they saw options that they were aware of included: doctor, architect, lawyer, musician, teacher.  There are so many more career paths, and people don't know about them.  Engineering is shrinking, and it needs to be expanding.  

Let's also take out: the legal system.  I'm sorry, it's crap.  Every time I've had to interact with it, I've felt burned.  I'm a good person, I shouldn't have to prove it.  We pay lip service to "innocent until proven guilty" but the legal system assumes guilt until proven innocence.  Meanwhile, I see people driving illegally all the time and not getting caught.  I know men paying child support to ex-wives who aren't doing a damn thing to improve themselves because then their child support would get reduced.  I've seen someone unable to perform his professional obligations because a nasty, bickering woman put a completely BS restraining order on him.  And I've been part of a jury that convicted a man of a crime for which the only evidence was technically "thrown out".  If it's going to be garbage, than let's call it what it is, and not pretend that "innocent until proven guilty" has anything to do with it.  In the case of having a restraining order on someone, I think if the complaintant knowingly puts herself in a place where the accused is going to be, the restraining order should be null and void; as it stands, if she shows up on his doorstep, he's breaking the law.  Better yet, let's let common sense prevail, and not evidence that is thrown out or assuming a woman is telling the truth because she's a woman, or assuming a cop is telling the truth because he's a cop.  I love the idea in Divergent with the people having aptitudes for selfless leading the government.  Let's have the justice system be filled with people who have the aptitude to read people and apply common sense, and not have to worry about covering their butts.  Today's judges don't actually judge anything, they're not allowed to, they just apply legal procedures and ensure those procedures are being followed through.  Let's have judges who are really strong moral judges, and make the case to the judge who is not incentived to rule one way or another, only to make the best judgment, and leave the peanut gallery of uneducated hicks and racists and prejudiced people out of it.  Maybe a panel of judges for each case, just to be sure the decision doesn't weigh on one individual.  Think of the case scene in Patch Adams, where a moral appeal can win.  Judges, like the politicians in my utopia, would be voted on based on their ability to make good calls.  In my utopia, people would take responsibility for their actions, and suffer the consequences, but they would understand the consequences going into it.  Better education and no way to cheat the system.  

Add to that: a more self-policing society.  Let's imagine that, without autonomous vehicles that obey the laws to the tee, our vehicles are equipped with cameras that watch around us in four or more angles.  If we see someone breaking the law, i.e. unsafe lane change or what have you, we simply hit a "report" button and the last 30 seconds of footage gets sent to a center of workers who decide if that footage is sufficient evidence to convict the driver, and then send a ticket in the mail similar to how they handle red light camera tickets today.  I've always wanted this.  I'm not sure where else it would apply other than on the road, because I don't witness law breaking in any other aspects of my life on a regular basis, but it could be applied to solicitors on door steps or other like cases.  Imagine how few people would drive recklessly and cut you off if they knew that anyone around them could report them and cause a financial burden for them?  

Another removal: the hidden sales tax and semi- and fully- mandatory tipping.  What I mean by this, is a menu or a price tag should have the price that it will cost.  It should include the tax, so there is no guessing.  When we have to split the bill, its clear exactly what we owe, because we don't have to add in the tax.  Along with that, we should not feel obligated to leave a tip.  A tip should be 100% discretionary based on extraordinary service, and not expected, and certainly not added to bills for groups of 8 or more.  It's hard to deal with a group of 8?  Tough, that's called your job.  I don't get tips at work when I have to go to a meeting with 30 people.  But I'm paid fairly.  So our wait staff should also be paid fairly to do their jobs, and not expect the customers to shell out the rest of their pay on top of the price of the food we're paying over priced amounts for.  Some other countries do this, so there is no reason we need to continue in this awful tradition.

Plus add: waterproof electronics.  It's a niche need, but do you know how many times I've carefully wiped my hands off while in the bathtub in order to access my laptop or phone?  It's a lot.  And I'm sure I'm not completely alone on this.  I just want electronics to be sealed up and safe from water damage so that I can comfortably use them in the bath or shower or pool without covers that inhibit the ability to hear or use the devices.  

Remove too: welfare and any type of government handouts.  This is the economist in me, and maybe the general population in my utopia would disagree and institute them through our superior voting system, and I'd have to live with it.  But how many stories have you heard of someone living in a nice house driving nicer cars than you, and not making a contribution to society?  I would vote for any movement that would bring us closer to the efficient economy that rewards effort and results, and that means not giving anyone a free ride.  

Another addition: Streaming of important athletic events.  Back to the nit-picking personal preference stuff.  If I graduated from ASU, I should be granted lifetime access to high-def, legal streaming of all football and basketball games for ASU.  At a minimum.  I think its despicable that we would need cable and a special channel to watch half the games.  Few of the bars locally have that channel, and when traveling, its impossible to find a bar with that channel.  I should be able to type in a code and wherever I'm at can have the game.  At a minimum.  I would much rather be able to watch all major games on regular cable or Hulu or whatever.  Make it accessible to everyone, and we will get more excited to go!  Make it less accessible, you might just start losing fans, or income because we'll figure out a way to stream it illegally.  

Another removal: 40 - 60 hour workweeks.  Companies should pay a person to do a job, not spend a certain number of hours in the office.  I truly believe that some people are better than others at their jobs, and yet we do this weird equalizing thing to require efficient workers to stay so many hours, while inefficient workers may not even get their jobs done but they put in their hours so they're good to go.  The reason we do this, I'm sure, is because it's far too difficult to quantify what the job should be in any other manner, so its simplest to just assume it should take about 40 - 45 hours per week.  There's also discrimination that might play in, presuming that most women can't physically lift and load as much as most of their male counterparts, and you don't want to be accused of paying women less in a discriminatory manner.  Then again, maybe a physical job isn't good for women who can't keep up with the boys, why is that wrong?  Maybe those women who can't keep up should go do a job better suited for their brilliant minds or physically less demanding.  Regardless, in my utopia, we would figure out how to quantify work effort and results, and allow efficient workers the freedom to leave after the equivalent of 40 hours of work, even if that's 32 hours for them, and they get Friday off, but they are paid as if they were there for 40 hours because that's how much work they did.

And add: more positive news journalism.  I know, they're based on ratings and the violence and awful stories get more attention than the positive stuff.  But kind of like in Divergent where people with a certain aptitude go into certain fields, I would mandate journalists to want to report on the positive stuff, and downplay the violent stories that lead to copycats.  Celebrate the heroes and the victories over disease.  Don't name the name of the killer in the mass shootings - don't give them any credit or attention whatsoever.   Also, let's not make stories about race if they aren't about race; hell even if they are, let's not focus on that because that only raises more racial tensions - a crime is a crime no matter what the (ignorant) motive may be.

Going back to my first point about chores,  I suppose if the help was cheap enough, it could be worth it to pay, but then there's trust issues and the weirdness of a random person coming into your residence.  I would prefer to just find a way to eliminate the need for chores altogether, like having a goat that eats the grass, or maybe just have robots do them.  A lot of these wishes require future technology or a full re-vamping of a country, and obviously I'm not single-handedly capable of doing all those things.  This is also why the TV show Utopia will fail, because they made those people become farmers and live off the land and removed much of the technology; without technology, you're not really allowing them the full utopian-creating potential.  Also, they're just a few people, not a whole society of hundreds of thousands.  It's more like a make-your-own summer camp than the building of a new society.  For me, there are a few things I can do in my own little world to make a partial utopia for myself, and that is what I will strive to do.  I've already made my house quite comfortable with excessively nice luxuries in some places (like my amazing bathtub).  There's always more to do, of course, but that's what it's all about for me.