Regardless, I got a couple of matches early on. One ended up being a complete and literal fraud - he was trying to get me to buy crypto on some website "to bring us closer." Of course I didn't fall for his crap, but I did invest a lot of my time in talking with him before that all came out - he definitely played a long game in his scam.
The other match was real. His name was Tommy, and he worked on second shift at my company. I knew the shift more than the fact that we worked at the same company would present challenges in terms of scheduling time together, but I was willing to try to make it work. Our daily texts were amazing - he was so attentive and sweet. Based on his profile pictures, I wasn't sure if I'd be attracted to him. We finally met up on my next business trip and he was absolutely instantly attractive to me. We had an amazing first date and some kisses and cuddles and I felt very comfortable with him physically - it felt like we had been molded to be together. All the more reason I thought it was weird when he was more aloof after our first date, and then eventually he stopped responding altogether. I didn't understand it and it was very upsetting.
A few weeks later, I felt like being a little drama and sent a picture of myself looking pretty good to Tommy. To my surprise, he responded and said he apologized for ghosting me, he thought his message had gone through but apparently it hadn't, and that he had decided the long-distance thing was too hard, my time that week was so limited and he didn't like that. I was glad to know what happened but still felt like saying something like, "Where there's a will, there's a way," but knew it wouldn't really do much good.
Around that time, Deric came into my life and so I tried not to think about Tommy too much. But my relationship with Deric was short-lived and ended right around the time that I found out I would now have to move to Fort Worth for work. I debated for weeks whether to try to reach out to Tommy again and let him know I would be moving, or to wait until I moved there, but either way I knew I was going to reach out to him. One night I decided I didn't want to wait any longer and I told him I was moving there. He responded almost immediately and seemed both excited and flattered that I thought of him. He re-engaged again with his daily, sweet, and attentive texts. We met up again when I was there next, and again he drifted away and stopped responding. Now I was mad - this isn't a coincidence, right?
When I was back in Fort Worth, still not permanently, I asked him to meet me at a restaurant and without responding, he showed up. We talked and he apologized and said he didn't think I'd want to see him again, blah blah blah. We again had another amazing time together, and he promised to try to do better on responding to texts. And then once again he faded and disappeared.
In the meantime, I
entertained a few other suitors. In February, I started talking with Justin. He
had a cheezy smile in some of his pictures, but I could see evidence of him
being kind of cute. He was definitely nerdy and a little weird, but he seemed passionately
interesting in me. We had a date when I was in Fort Worth for business, and it
felt very rushed, like he was just trying to drag me through the requirements
so that he could get me back to my hotel. I didn't invite him to come in, and
he seemed disappointed but I did let him kiss me good night. We continued
seeing each other for quite some time and had some nice dates together, I did
become attracted to him and I did genuinely like him. But the weirdness just
started to overwhelm everything else.
Sam had ironically liked a picture of me I'm not sure he realized was from Australia, and was upfront that he didn't live in Dallas despite what his profile said, he lived in Sydney, Australia. Of course, I've written plenty about him so I'll skip to the next guy.
Brandon had liked my
picture back in December when I was with Deric, so I hadn't paid attention to
it. Once Deric and I were over, I still wasn't sure about Brandon. He seemed
like he'd be a sweetheart, but I wasn't attracted to him. In April, I finally decided
it was worth at least a dialog, and I matched back with him. He started right
off with a pun, which I loved, and the texts flowed very naturally. But when we
met up for our first date, he started off by telling me he was very low energy
that day. Okay, I guess that's… fine? I mean, he was, so I guess by stating as
much, at least he was acknowledging that. The date didn't do much to help me
decide one way or another with him, and we ended with a hug.
Brandon and I continued talking, and we met up for a second date. That date went a little better, but only marginally, and at the end of it, I got a small kiss. I wanted more in the moment, but didn't make the move, and we said goodnight and parted ways.
Then there was Ryan. I knew I should stop using the dating app, but Ryan hit me up and we started chatting and I didn't want to ghost him. He was so sweet via text, call me goddess and flattering me way more than I probably deserve. We had good chats over the course of a couple weeks and he seemed head-over-heels for me before even meeting. I finally proposed we grab ice cream at Braum's and he agreed. We had a really nice chat and hung out for a while there. He grabbed me for a deep, passionate kiss in the parking lot and I quite liked it. We said good night and I thought that was a good sign. We exchanged several more messages over the next couple days, and then he ghosted me after all that.
In May, I ended things with Justin via text message, which in hindsight may have been the wrong way to do it but it felt okay in the situation, and he responded pretty quickly that he was feeling the same way, and we both wished each other the best and that was that.
Sam liked to have video phone calls on Sunday morning his time which is Saturday evening my time - the time I am often out with Brandon and his friends. So I've had to put Sam off on those weekends or try to do the call the night before. And then Sam came for a week, and since my sister was coming right after, I told Brandon that my sister was coming and that I'd be busy, which wasn't untrue, I just made it sound like she was there the whole time when in fact it was mostly Sam.
My sister did give
me a hard time about juggling two guys. Of course, she's happily single and
doesn't seem to understand my desire for a man in my life. She also commented that Brandon and I look like siblings so it was a good thing we weren't going to have kids because people would suspect incest - of all things to worry about!
I wish I could say I
never saw it as a competition or a comparison between the two, but that happened
a couple times. Still, I'd say most of the time it wasn't like that for me. I
assume most relationships will end when one or both parties decide there is
something incompatible, so I assumed one relationship or the other would flame
out eventually. The fact that both seemed to be going strong for so long and
only seemed to be getting stronger was the problem.
I think what made it
tougher was that they were so different - complete opposites in most ways,
really - and the pros and cons are so glaring. For example, Brandon is local,
so huge points for that. I also liked how Brandon was physically affectionate
with me, whereas Sam wasn't as cuddly or physically affectionate. I remember
actually thinking one night when I was with Sam that Brandon would comply with
my request or
So, like the decision between the Dallas job and the Florida job years ago, I'd been leaning towards the scarier but more exciting option, and away from the safer option… until Brandon called me to end things today. He called me which is pretty unusual, we mostly text and then obviously meet up in person, but I didn't think too much about the phone call - I figured maybe he thought it'd be easier to discuss logistics for tomorrow when I was to meet his sister and parents for his birthday celebration. Quite the contrary, and perhaps he was thinking it was urgent to end things because of that. I didn't know what he was saying at first, I thought he said he was going to talk about work, which made sense in my head since he had come from a three-week work trip, but then he said something like, "we shouldn't see each other anymore," and then he also started talking about how he realized he wanted kids and wasn't ready to give up on that dream. When I thought back to how he started the conversation, perhaps he had said something like, "I'm going to say some word vomit," but I could not for the life of me recall what he said that led him to not wanting to see each other anymore - maybe that he had been thinking while he was one his work trip? Had he found my blog about Sam or something? No, I don't think he said anything to that effect. Anyways, I suppose it doesn't matter why, it was clear enough that he was done and I wasn't going to fight for him given my feelings. So we both wished each other the best and for the second time with another local suitor, that was that.
The timing is kind of crap, because I had just put together his birthday card with his present, but I guess his present can be used for something else and the card is only a $3 loss; I suppose its better to end things now than wait until we exchange birthday gifts, and I was supposed to meet his sister and parents tomorrow. So, yeah, I guess good.
I did push out my flight for work to Monday because I was reserving my Sunday evening for him and his family. So, I'm a little annoyed at the timing, a couple weeks ago would have been better, or perhaps in reality, I would have liked to let it go one a little bit longer to have someone locally. But, I'll see Sam in 12 days in Scotland, and I have a business trip between now and then, so maybe I should be more okay with it than I am. I know part of it is a control thing - I prefer to do the ending things. It wasn't my time line - I had plans with him still. But I think I would have felt regret or starting to think the "what ifs" had I ended things with Brandon at this point or in the near future. It seems like it should be good. Maybe it's just raw. The irony was I'd been meaning to do some writing to catch up on my dating life outside of Sam, but hadn't gotten to it until, well, there's nothing more to write up now.
In conclusion,
dating in Fort Worth also stinks, but it helped me find Sam, and he thrills me. Cheers to you, Tommy, Justin and Brandon! I hope you find what you're looking for.
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