Our tentative itinerary had us attending a baseball game the same night he landed, but after the time he spent in customs, and with how tired he was, he was grateful we hadn't gotten tickets and we could just go back to my place and go to bed. Before retiring, however, he was bursting at the seams to give me all the presents he had brought from Australia for me. Bug spray to help me combat the horrid bugs here in Texas, candy and sweets both at my request and because he wanted me to try them, an Australia soccer jersey, creams and lotions, soaps, all sorts of things. I didn't have nearly as much in the way of gifts for him - just an Arizona State shirt at his request and some Japanese treats we had talked about. Of course, the trip had been a gift in a way - I told him I wasn't mentally ready for international travel yet but that if it was just money stopping him from taking leave to visit, I had money, so why not pay for him to come here? Of course, that then gave me reason to have doubts, but we're passed that now.
Thursday morning - July Fourth - once we got the tea kettle and coffee situation sorted for him and we both had breakfast, we went for a short walk around my local park. I wanted to show him the turtles but they weren't where I had seen them last. I had also told him about my neighbor's cats but they were no where to be found. Granted, it was hot as heck by this time, so the aminals were probably wherever
they can keep coolest. We did see an orange-winged black bird on our walk (it was a black bird with orange wings, but that was actually the name of it, too!). Even though Sam doesn't eat pig meats, I wanted him to have a hot dog for the Fourth, so we went to Portillo's and he was relieved to see they were beef hot dogs, so he could eat it. That evening, we went to the soccer game and saw FC Dallas score a victory. They did a pretty great fireworks show after, which I liked because that took the stress out of figuring out where to go see fireworks and
worrying about seating and stuff… we just sat in our seats from the game and enjoyed the show. Friday we went for a swim in my pool. The wind had blown a bunch of flower petals into the pool but Sam told me not to sweep them up because it was kind of cool to swim in them. I wasn't fully on board but I could see his point. I enjoyed seeing the world through his lens, he's such a romantic and gushing with positivity. Except when it comes to soccer… never heard him speak such hard words as he yelled at the TV while we watched the Euros that afternoon.
Friday night, Sam indulged me by going to a swing dance. The timing worked out well, because this was the first Friday of the month and thus the dance was a little less intimidating for new or non-dancers, and it had a live band which is always entertaining even if you're not dancing. I was surprised to see one of my favorite leads from the Thursday night dance there, Dave, and he took me out on the floor multiple times to show me off. Sam seemed to enjoy watching and had no interest in actually dancing, even during the slow dance song, but he went for a walk around the area to get his steps in while I helped lead the Shim Sham and got a few more dances in. He suspected, wrongly, that when he left, I'd get asked more, but this community really doesn't care if you're with someone or not, they just want to dance, and I love that about it.
Saturday night was probably our biggest "fight" if you can call it that. I was in bed and Sam had pulled the covers off and made a nest on the floor and when I woke up and asked him what he was doing, I thought he said he was going to sleep there and I got upset about him taking the sheets without asking and also not joining me in bed. But, we both talked it out without losing our heads. He had been having trouble sleeping, didn't think I needed the blanket because one of my legs was out of it, and thought he'd watch some videos on the floor so as not to bother me. I told him I'd rather have him in bed with me and that it wouldn't bother me or I'd watch with him. We worked it out and he cuddled me and made me feel better.
It became apparent to me for the first time that he not only thinks Taylor Swift's Eras Tour is a wolrdwide sensation worth seeing for that reason alone, but that he admires Taylor Swift as something of a hero. We also chatted about my idea of having a retirement home on the beach in Panama City Beach or somewhere equally as affordable with a nice beach - he agreed that would be absolutely perfect to live on the beach like that. Costa Rica, Hawaii, Mexico were floated as other potential places. I asked about how to look up real estate in Sydney and he told me to use Domain.com. We talked about real estate values in Dallas vs Austin (and vs Sydney) and he was surprised that downtown Austin has already surpassed the value of downtown Dallas.
Our last few days together were less scheduled and more just playing house to an extent. We'd swim together, he'd go for his own independent walks, I'd listen to my audio book in the morning while he slept in. But for the most part, we were together and the time just flew. I loved watching him go sunbathe outside in his underwear, and wished he could be a permanent fixture for me to gaze upon. We were also a little productive, making edits to his resume, and he expressed interest in learning more about AI and helping me with my fabric business, so I showed him some stuff in those vains.
Physically, I was a bit needier, wanting more cuddles than what I was getting and making my desire known. His physical attention got a little too rough for me, he would squeeze me too hard and at one point he slapped a part of my side that was just too hard for me and I told him as much. He immediately apologized profusely and made me feel better.
He was very sweet on our last day together, and I felt like he had definitely heard me and was responding to what I wanted. It felt so good to be heard and seen and cared for in that way - I don't know if I've ever felt like that before with anyone. When it was time to leave for the airport, there was no fuss or sadness, really, it was like it was just the next thing on the itinerary. But it did hit me when I was hugging and kissing him goodbye. He reminded me that our UK trip wasn't too far out, and I tried to fake some courage by saying, "That's right, see you in Scotland in a few weeks!" As I pulled away, checking my mirrors and windows in case he was waving furiously at me because he forgot something, his "song" came on - "Too Sweet" by Hozier, or "Whiskey Neat" as Sam called it. It was a song that drove him nuts and became an inside joke a little with us. I love our similar senses of humor and how we can make these little jokes so easily.
I reflected what it was that I was feeling, and what I concluded was this. Sam is in no rush to get our relationship to the next step, but he's also not going to "hit it and quit it." He's shown that he is in it for the long run and his reassurances put me at peace with that pace which is slower than my usual preference. That peace also allows me to focus on things other than pursuing love - like my writing, my futurism studies and projects, my fabric design, my finances, my health. I wished I had had that realization when answering the 36 questions because I think that is a more true picture of me; I had gotten hung up on the idea of us moving forward and hadn't allowed myself to be content with where we are. We're great, not rushing into anything but I can trust him and I feel good with him in my life. And that's why I like him so much - he magnifies who I want to be and calms my anxiety when I'm overwhelmed or stressed.
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