The Self Talk I Need Right Now

Me: We made so many great memories together. It's sad to throw that away.

Also me: Those are my memories to keep, regardless of the relationship. His passive aggression made all those things about him, too. I was happy being single before him. Comical, even, to write about going on bad dates.

 

Me: He did make my life easier in some ways. He was there when I got home from work, he cooked dinner, did the dishes.

Also me: He didn't do those things reliably, and it was never enough. The house was rarely clean unless I started cleaning. We'd run out of clean forks all the time. The food he made got lazier and less healthy.

 

Me: We enjoyed spending time together.

Also me: Apparently not. He resented me that whole time. And his laziness often superseded my motivation to do home improvement projects or go out. I've been finding more peace, creativity and motivation when I'm by myself.

 

Me: I loved him so much.

Also me: He was suspicious and resentful of me - for 10 years!

 

Me: I was stupid not to break up with him earlier.

Also me: He held things in and lied to me. I couldn't possibly have known it was this bad.

 

Me: The transition is going to be hard. There are so many things I relied on him for, and now I have to do those things myself.

Also me: But I don't have to go through it alone. And I also had to nag him to do things, which is a huge mental burden that will be lifted with this change.

 

Me: I feel like I threw away a decade of my life in this pointless, unappreciative relationship. Who knows who I could have been with during that time?

Also me: I did great things during that time, and my relationship did not hold me back from those things. As always, I made the most of it, and I came out on top. It's his loss that he can't appreciate all the things I did for him and how I tried to help him. Better to cut my losses than try to make it work with someone so completely stuck on his own selfish perspective.

 

Me: Now I'm the villain in his history.

Also me: I, and the people who care about me, know better. And that's all that matters.

Three Reasons (It's Over)

 I don't trust you - you've betrayed my trust and haven't earned it back. You don't do what you say you'll do, you "forget" too conveniently, you withhold important information because you'd rather postpone the conflict, your actions don't match your words, you show bad judgment which costs me money and sometimes scares me.

 

I don't feel appreciated and I do feel taken advantage of. I don't like nagging you but you often leave me little choice, and you don't even do the bare minimum. You misinterpret my words and actions to make things my problem.

 

What I believe to be your fixed mindset is too engrained its hurtful. I can't live with the burden that you blame me for you not finishing college. The mental gymnastics to twist something so inconsistent with my person to suit your needs is inconceivable and unacceptable in my life. You aren't showing any signs of self-reflection, you see the errors in everyone else's ways but your own.

 

I had hoped to help you, but you aren't getting better. You bring me down, and you too easily get annoyed by me. It hurts to love you, I don't want to keep going through the motions of faking it, so I'd rather you leave than suffer anymore.

Other Intriguing Uses of AI: Envisioning Something New

Prompt: Design a new sport unlike any in current existence

AI: Here is a description of a new sport that is unlike any currently in existence:

    "Skyball"

Skyball is a team sport played on a circular field with a high ceiling. The objective of the game is to score points by throwing a ball through a hoop located on the ceiling of the field. Each team has three players on the field at a time, and the ball is advanced by throwing it to teammates or bouncing it off the walls or floor. The ball can only be held for a limited amount of time before it must be passed or shot.

The field is divided into three sections: the outer rim, the middle ring, and the inner circle. Each section has its own hoop, with the inner circle hoop being worth the most points. Players are allowed to move freely throughout the field, but they must stay within their designated section when attempting to score.

Skyball combines elements of basketball, soccer, and handball, and requires players to have a high level of agility, coordination, and strategic thinking. The fast-paced and high-scoring nature of the game makes it exciting to watch and play.

 

 

Prompt: From Bill Gates' book The Road Ahead, which predictions have not yet come true but still seem likely?

AI: In his book "The Road Ahead," Bill Gates makes a number of predictions about the future of technology and society. It's difficult to say which of these predictions have not yet come true, as the book was published in 1995 and many of the predictions are still in the process of being realized.

Some of the predictions that Gates makes in the book that may still be in the process of coming true include:

1. The rise of the internet: Gates predicts that the internet will become an increasingly important part of daily life and will transform the way we communicate, learn, and do business. While the internet has certainly become a central part of modern life, it is still evolving and its full potential has not yet been realized.

2. The proliferation of personal computers: Gates predicts that personal computers will become more powerful and widely available, and that they will be used for a wide range of applications. While personal computers have certainly become more powerful and widely available, they are still a relatively new technology and it is possible that they could continue to evolve and be used in new and unexpected ways.

3. The development of artificial intelligence: Gates predicts that artificial intelligence (AI) will become increasingly sophisticated and will be used to automate a wide range of tasks. While AI has made significant progress in recent years, it is still in the early stages of development and it is possible that it could continue to evolve and be used in new and unexpected ways.

4. The rise of digital media: Gates predicts that digital media will become more prevalent and will change the way we consume and create content. While digital media has certainly become more prevalent, it is still evolving and it is possible that it could continue to change the way we consume and create content in the future.

Overall, it is difficult to say which of Gates' predictions have not yet come true, as many of them are still in the process of being realized.

Looking to 2023: Life, Nature, Celebration, Empowerment

It has been a few years since I've set real New Year's Resolutions; in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are just trying focused on survival, making it through, looking forward to an uncertain unknown when maybe life will be better again. The pandemic isn't really over, but we're kind of over it, and the world has almost returned to some semblance of normal, if not a modified new normal which is much of the old but with scars and small reminders of the virus. Instead of resolutions, which so often go uncompleted or forgotten, themes and direction are often more lasting. I often take inspiration from Pantone's announcement of the new Color of the Year, with Pantone's vivid and almost anamorphic descriptions of a (usually) singular color answering the question, what does the world need right now? 

2023's Color of the Year is Viva Magenta, which has even in the name a mantra of life and celebration. Pantone's description of it as the choice for 2023 includes words and notions such as "rooted in nature", "a new signal of strength", "pure joy" and "experimentation and self-expression without restraint," rebellious and audacious. Right now, I feel almost none of those things, and so it’s like the color is calling to me to demand more of my self, my life, my abilities and my vision. 

One very compelling line from Pantone is, "In this age of technology, we look to draw inspiration from nature and what is real." I recently saw on Twitter a prompt asking what the most impactful technology was in 2022, and I without even looking at the responses, I considered it for a moment and was certain that 2022 was the year of Artificial Intelligence. AI has made some really interesting leaps this year; I've seen the impacts at my work, played around with novel AI apps and read some fascinating stories about AI advancements. In a job market where it seems like there just aren't enough interested and qualified workers to do the work, one must at some point consider how we utilize our current knowledge workers to do more, and telling them to work harder is simply not an option, so amending their abilities with technology like AI seems like the only path forward.

Yet, as Pantone reminds us, we want to live in the real world. Technology like AR and the metaverse has not (yet) absorbed us into its hold in a semi-permanent obsessive state, and we're already seeing the seeds of people wanting more, wanting reality, wanting nature, not tech, to absorb them. 

The theme of empowerment speaks both to the amazing technologies now at our fingertips and the sense of choice people have discovered through the pandemic - having had too much time perhaps to consider what it is we really want in life and adjusting values accordingly, make it difficult, especially in the workplace, to return to what once was normal. Yet that empowerment seems to be tinged with a sense of unknowing - we can make our own choices but what if we're wrong? And I think the inspiration of returning to nature provides the safety net we need to move forward despite the self-doubt. Indeed, the closing line of Pantone's description is that the color, "invoking the forces of nature… galvanizes our spirit, helping us to build our inner strength." 

Taking my queues from the colorful description of an otherwise medium-dark red, and my own observations and desires, I wonder aloud here what I should strive for in 2023. Rather than a list of things to do or end goals to achieve, I have described here themes to work on with some specific ideas on how to feel I've grown in those areas.

Life: Be an active participant

I feel like I've struggled recently with how my life has been going, and the last couple years has felt like my hands aren't on the steering wheel. Circumstances have led to the feeling of being defeated, like things aren't in my control, and I lack the willpower to change things or to fight for what I want. It requires much less resistance to go with the flow and let things happen to me. I remember being so motivated, intentional, ambitious and active in my 20s and I think the thing that scared me the most about my  30s was that I could never be that good again. And perhaps I let that fear become my reality instead of fighting against that notion and raising the bar for myself. Rather than be a passive observer of my life passing before me, there are a few things I need to be more intentional about, and I need to get over myself and my desire for motivation in order to do those things. I feel like I lack purpose, but celebrating life should be purpose enough, and especially rebounding from the pandemic, having a home I feel comfortable in and a job which allows work/life balance, perhaps this is the perfect time to take back my life's direction. 

• Buy my land
• Increase discipline in health routines
• Have a mindfulness weekend retreat
• Do that regularly
• Have a blog-a-thon to write about topics already started
• Book/plan vacation
• Complete >1 from room renovation 
  

 

Nature: Go deeper into outer space 

Space has always been a very casual interest for me, and I've been blessed with many opportunities to explore it in depth which I may not have taken full advantage of in hindsight. I'd like to take a more active interest and utilize the local Griffith Observatory as a support mechanism to do so. Starting with, first and foremost, making an effort to watch the monthly virtual program and an initial visit to the observatory to take in the museum and telescope usage. Ironically, this idea came to me when I asked an AI chatbot, ChatGPT, to create a Los Angeles bucket list. Or perhaps it is not ironic, but compelling, that AI can amend our knowledge of the world around us and the immediate things to empower us to be better versions of ourselves. 

• Listen to Planetary Radio podcast when available
• Watch All Space Considered monthly
• Visit the Griffith Observatory

Celebration: Re-build the lost connections

When I think of celebrating, I think of being around people, and that is another thing the pandemic took from us. Technology, especially social media, hinted at

bringing us closer together while they somehow isolated us more, and I have a strong desire to reconnect with people on a human level, even if I don't quite know how. There are so many wonderful people I've had in my life who may have become relegated to being facebook friends and not much else, and I want to try to re-build those even if it means facing a lot of potential rejection. As joked about recently, it can't be Christmas every day, we have to have the lows in order to celebrate the highs, and I want to bring those highs back. I also want to recoup the connection to writing, journaling and capturing my own life, work and dreams. 

• Start daily journal even if 3-sentence recap
• Plan for and stay on top of sending birthday, anniversary, holiday cards
• Seek advice and ask curious questions of people in my life

Empowerment: Create (and use) the tools to get out of my own way

I recently reviewed the ideas from Bill Gates' "The Road Ahead" from 1995, when the Internet was still a fledgling place for researchers and scientists and "The Information Superhighway" carried promise which has largely been fulfilled in ways

any futurist struggled to foresee. It reminded me of how far we've come, but also, what elements have yet to really come to fruition as predicted. I think the technology is here, but we have to figure out how best to use it. Truly, that has been a philosophy of mine for years, and only becomes truer with more technological advances. The better tech we have in our palms, the harder it is to discern between the best ways to use it and the easiest ways to use it, the latter of which is a trap, what many books and articles are warning us against. While Viva Magenta is a lot about getting back to nature and drawing inspiration from nature, I think it also is about carving our path in this world of technology, which is to say that it doesn't have to work against us but in fact can aide us in our desire to connect with nature and being our best in our own nature. That is what futurists envisioned as these new technologies emerged, and that is for us individually to choose with intention on when and how technology serves us. 

• Auto-add/update calendar with activities of interest
• Utilize AI and scripting to hone trends and market gaps
• 3D print some useful items
• Invest in architecture software and education, and design home of the future
• Influence recruiting at work via communications team - consider TikTok channel
• Develop better graphics and display for my Show Mode

I hope you find some inspiration, or considerations, for the coming year. With all the hopes and aspirations, be kind to yourself, be generous with others, and make 2023 a great year in your own way!

These AI-Generated Bucket Lists Inspired Me

A question was recently posed on Twitter: "What was the most impactful technology of 2022?" and I mentally answered almost instinctively: Artificial Intelligence. While AI has been in development for years and theorized about for decades and even centuries, and is far from the Promised Land of AI even today, I think it made some huge strides in 2022 and also made its way into the public's hands like never before this year. 

From AI-generated artwork based on user inputs, AI morphing selfies into cartoon characters and other stylized self-portraits, to virtual AI "friends" and chatbots to help with anxiety and other wellness concerns, articles surfacing of AI bots having self-realization and sharing human-like beliefs, it just seems to have dominated the technology conversation this year. Most recently, however, my employee turned me onto ChatGPT which writes lengthy bits based on prompts, including writing code or blog posts. Don't worry, I have no intention of using it to write my blog posts here, except as excerpts to demonstrate the technology's prowess and shortcomings. While ChatGPT has known and stated limitations (especially that the data is only current up to 2021), I wanted to share some of the most interesting bits I got out of it (so far). 

Below are the prompts and responses I got from ChatGPT regarding bucket lists. Before presenting the lists, I want to share a few insights that really struck me. 

First of all, I've lived in LA County for over a year and a half, and love space, and I had no awareness or consideration of the Griffith Observatory until this list. This opened up a whole rabbit hole for me of podcasts and planning a trip to the observatory and consideration of becoming a member. All because the AI generated a list which I hadn't yet seen. 

Much of the California Bucket List resonated with me, having either done them intentionally as part of my Life List or as part of my California Bucket List to take advantage of our time here. 

This sort of resource could be a jumping off point for when we move to a new location, generating local and regional bucket lists as well as interest-based bucket lists within a geographic region. The results are both impressively accurate and incredibly compelling and actionable. 

I hope these lists inspire you as well, and if you want to try creating your own, check out ChatGPT while it is available to the public!

DIY Christmas: Stockings Sew Easy!

 

I am a little obsessed with my homemade stockings inspired by the movie, Elf. This was my first time making my own stockings and I was surprised how easy they were! 

Briefly, the steps I took:

1. Fold the fabric in half and cut the shapes using a general pattern or reference, such that there are two pieces which are mirror images of each other. 
2. Sew across the white fur on both "outside" faces of the fabrics. 
3. Place the outsides facing each other and pin in place. 
4. Sew around the sides and flip inside out when done - just like making a pillow! That way, my imperfect sewing is concealed inside, and all you see on the outside are nice seams. 
5. Hot glue decorations - ribbons, belt, bows, etc. Highly recommend this instead of trying to sew decorations on. It seemed to work really well!

Since I had so much fun making these (and honestly, am really proud at how they turned out), I started brainstorming other designs I could make. Take a look at some of my other ideas!  

 

If you prefer the original Jovie color scheme: 

More "Elf" ideas (if you have more humans raised by humans):

...and some more because I just couldn't stop...

Okay, enough of "Elf", what else we got? How about stockings for Lego fans?  Get the fabrics here.

 

I've always adored the patterns from Moana! They could be turned into unique stockings for fans! Check them out in my Dress Up Time collection here.

Speaking of Disney, I plan on making a pullstring backpack with my Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout -inspired fabric, but it could also make a funky stocking!Or use some Tivan-style writing from the Obscure Writing collection.

While there are plenty leopard print designs out there, have you ever seen a giraffe print stocking? Me neither! That's one reason I started my "You Animal" collection - to bring more representation and variation to the animal print options!

The Pantone Color of the Year for 2023 hasn't been announced yet, but it is anticipated to be "Digital Lavender". You can be very fashion forward with these Digital Lavender patterns hanging from your fireplace this year!

Tennes-see the Highlights

For 10 days in September, Jaiman and I visited my sister, Christy, in and around her new home near Nashville, Tennessee. We knocked out some Life List things in the area, ate too much, slept too little, laughed until our eyes teared up and our cheeks hurt, and made ridiculously fun memories and new inside jokes. It was a refreshing break from the stress of a relocation and new job for Christy and a new (stress-inducing) manager for me. Often, when in a slump, just planning a trip is therapeutic, and that was definitely the case with this one. Nashville had, at one time, been a planned destination for us sisters and friends prior to any of us living there, but that trip was spoiled, along with so many other things, with COVID-19. So, actually going on this trip was all the more wonderful! Beyond that, this itinerary could even serve as a Nashville / Tennessee Bucket List!

We flew from LAX on Christy's birthday, and had just a little bit of downtime after landing before we gussied up for dinner and our first Nashville adventure - a show at the Grand Ole Opry featuring a favorite country star of Christy's, Brad Paisley. We had dinner at Paula Dean's where we ordered a number of country-style comfort food which immediately set the tone for our extended trip. Eating too much food, also, established a general theme for the indulgence that is all too typical when the three of us travel together.

Laura's Life List #51 - Attend a performance at the Grand Ole Opry

Getting to the Grand Ole Opry and parking was super easy, and there were lots of great photo ops on the outside. Once in, we scoured the gift shop which had a ton of selections, and then grabbed some beers and drinks for the show. Christy had gotten us fantastic seats in the front row of the balcony, where we sat in church pews which has a kind of hilarious feel. Country music isn't really my thing, but live music is (almost) always fun. We really enjoyed the first few performers and got to see a first-timer's Opry debut which was super neat. 

Before the headliner, Brad Paisley, came on, this goofy trio of older men dressed in chaps came out and sang very Western songs, called Riders in the Sky. One, and for the life of me, I never figured out which one, would periodically whistle and scream "yaaaaah".After the song was over, they bantered a bit and commented on the *whistle* "yaaaah" and then tried it out in "Danny Boy" to the roaring laughter of the audience. Brad Paisley did his thing, including bringing a charity auction winner on stage to sing with him, who was so nervous he was practically crying and sweat through his entire outfit. All in all, it was a fantastic night and great way to kick off our time in Tennessee.

Jaiman's Life List - Dollywood

Pushing through our sleep deprivation, we started out early and headed to Dollywood. We rode just about all the rides, and enjoyed the multitudes of Halloween decorations around the park, including fake jack-o-lanterns which all sorts of fun patterns and themes. We rode Blazing Fury, Dragonflier, FireChaser Express, Lightning Rod, Mystery Mine, Tennessee Tornado, Thunderhead, Wild Eagle, and the water ride Daredevil Falls. As the day wound down, Jaiman and Christy got the infamous cinnamon bread and I got the amusement park obligatory Dippin' Dots. We did some shopping and headed out to grab some dinner and find our AirBnB for the night. A local car show made it difficult to find a place to eat and traffic exhausted our patience, so we opted for our first-ever visit to the oft-ignored Shone's chain. All things considered, we concluded it wasn't too bad - "better than awful!" We found our way to the AirBnB and after exploring the adorable little cabin, we passed out pretty quickly.

Anakeesta

We stayed in the Pigeon Forge area after Dollywood so that we could have a short trip to Anakeesta. The wait was exponentially shorter for the bench-style chair lifts versus the enclosed gondolas. We had hoped to do the alpine coaster but our weight precluded us from doing that. Nevertheless, the drinks flowed, the rope bridges and obstacle course was hilarious, we shopped and dined and had a fabulous time. After leaving the park, we found a wine tasting room serving cotton candy wine, which we obviously had to taste, and proceeded to buy several bottles to take back to Christy's. All things in the area done, we headed back to Christy's apartment outside of Nashville.

 

Work-cation

Christy went into work Monday and Tuesday, while I stayed and worked remotely from the apartment. Monday night we attempted to get into the Bluebird Café where many aspiring musicians get their big break. We didn't make it in for seating, but they did let us in to stand for the length of a song for the experience. We dined at a steakhouse nearby since we didn't get in for dinner. Tuesday night we had burritos from some place called Bubacakbooboo or something like that for dinner. Wednesday was a little different in that I went in to work with Christy and started the morning off with a two hour Excel class for her team and several other party crashers from various functions of the mining company she works for. It went smashingly well, and while I could have taught all day with such a fun and engaged group, we wrapped and I took the car back to start my work day. Jaiman and I picked Christy up at the end of the day and went to the winery near her work for dinner and drinks. We took Thursday off, and Christy took Friday off (I have Fridays off all the time).

Loveless Café

Thursday morning was a perfect time to grab brunch at the adorable and tasty Loveless Café. After putting our names in, we did some shopping and took silly pictures around the property and then got seated soon enough. The food surpassed our expectations, and the ambience was just right. Definitely recommend making the trip out to that restaurant.

Parthenon

It may not be a Nashville icon, but there is a full-scale Parthenon replica is a pretty interesting visit and photo op. We didn't go inside but it seems like its an art museum. Playing with the pillars and shadows and statues outside was sufficient for our amusements.

Kayne Prime

Some of the best steak in town is found at this classy restaurant. Jaiman got the last of the semi-annual shipment of a very special Japanese wagyu ribeye of which only 1600 cows in the world can produce apparently. Obviously, we were sold. Christy also got a wagyu flight of sorts. It was pretty unbelievable!

Honky Tonks on Broadway

Not to be overcome by sleep yet, we took to the street for some barhopping good times. We made our way first into Kid Rock’s Big A, and stood in the crowd rocking out to the adorable live band playing. Then we moved on to Luke Bryan's Luke 32 Bridge. There, we scored some cocktails and a couple seats, and comfortable enjoyed the sights and sounds of a most beautiful guitar player and singer making eyes at Christy. Since he failed to propose to her after several songs and drinks, we moved on. Tootsie's seemed like a must, so we grabbed drinks and propped ourselves on some bar stools there for a bit. We popped into one or two more and finally called it a night.

A day in at last

We stayed in for the most part on Friday, drinking our sweet strawberry wine and watching Hocus Pocus. Our attempt to get candied ribs from the Candied Rib place was foiled by the fact that they did not yet have candying abilities or ribs, but that didn't stop us from getting some pretty decent barbecue from the place. More drinks - mead and martinis - were had back at home, and Mongolian barbecue for dinner.

Tennessee Railroad Museum Train Robbery Excursion Ride

As our visit winded down, we did a silly train ride with a volunteer-based acting troop that "robbed" us for charity. The train was very cool, but the experience left us a little wanting. Nevertheless, food and drinks were had, and with great company, good times were had. Wine slushies and the macarons from Christy's apartment coffee shop made the day completely indulgent.

Prince's (Nashville) Hot Chicken

For a spice lover like me, a trip to Nashville could hardly be complete without some hot chicken. Since I'd had Haddie B's a couple times previously, Prince's was a must. It's hard to compare, but from my amateur point of view, Prince's seems like the real deal. Get it, if you dare! 

Well, that about wrapped up our trip. Nashville was great, and I am so grateful I got to spend the time with my sister, as she may be moving to Knoxville next. Such is the life of great managers seeking great work environments, I suppose! Cheers to promotions, living life to the fullest and adventuring with loved ones.