The Self Talk I Need Right Now

Me: We made so many great memories together. It's sad to throw that away.

Also me: Those are my memories to keep, regardless of the relationship. His passive aggression made all those things about him, too. I was happy being single before him. Comical, even, to write about going on bad dates.

 

Me: He did make my life easier in some ways. He was there when I got home from work, he cooked dinner, did the dishes.

Also me: He didn't do those things reliably, and it was never enough. The house was rarely clean unless I started cleaning. We'd run out of clean forks all the time. The food he made got lazier and less healthy.

 

Me: We enjoyed spending time together.

Also me: Apparently not. He resented me that whole time. And his laziness often superseded my motivation to do home improvement projects or go out. I've been finding more peace, creativity and motivation when I'm by myself.

 

Me: I loved him so much.

Also me: He was suspicious and resentful of me - for 10 years!

 

Me: I was stupid not to break up with him earlier.

Also me: He held things in and lied to me. I couldn't possibly have known it was this bad.

 

Me: The transition is going to be hard. There are so many things I relied on him for, and now I have to do those things myself.

Also me: But I don't have to go through it alone. And I also had to nag him to do things, which is a huge mental burden that will be lifted with this change.

 

Me: I feel like I threw away a decade of my life in this pointless, unappreciative relationship. Who knows who I could have been with during that time?

Also me: I did great things during that time, and my relationship did not hold me back from those things. As always, I made the most of it, and I came out on top. It's his loss that he can't appreciate all the things I did for him and how I tried to help him. Better to cut my losses than try to make it work with someone so completely stuck on his own selfish perspective.

 

Me: Now I'm the villain in his history.

Also me: I, and the people who care about me, know better. And that's all that matters.