The Pull of Nature: Letting Go, Healing, and Reclaiming Dopamine

We all know in the movie "Moana," Maui is said to use his hook to pull the islands up from the sea. I recently watched a documentary about the ancient voyagers who navigated across the Pacific to Hawaii and other islands (the documentary was aptly named, "Voyagers." It was very much in tune with the movie—which gives major credit to the filmmakers for doing their homework, though the documentary definitely leaned into those parallels to capture that same magic.

What I really loved, though, was how it explained the actual origin of that Maui myth. When a voyager is out on open water for days or weeks at a time, looking at a flat, endless horizon, the tip of a new landmass eventually breaks the line of the water. To the navigator, it literally looks like the island is rising up out of the ocean. And when they aligned their ships with the constellation of stars that forms Maui's hook in the sky, the islands seemed to emerge directly beneath it. Thus, Maui's hook pulled the islands up from the sea.

Shortly after, I was walking through the Botanic Gardens, listening to an audiobook about forest bathing. The author was building on the Japanese tradition of shinrin-yoku, and kept emphasizing that we cannot set out with an objective or have expectations about the experience. I'm obsessed with productivity - its literally my job - but I didn't fall into this career. It's how I am in my personal life, too; always optimizing, multitasking when I can, maximizing my productivity. This book was challenging that mindset directly; it says that forest bathing need not achieve anything, and yet, can never be considered a waste of time. This notion was simultaneously repulsive and wisely valid and true. 

He started talking about not trying to force an experience or set expectations for the forest bathing time. Instead, he instructed us to be present and let the forest pull emotions and experiences out of us. Rather than, in trying to meditate, aggressively push intrusive thoughts out of our heads, surrender them to the forest and let nature pull our minds into it. 

That analogy hit home. For high achievers who hate wasting time, sitting down to meditate can feel like a test we’re actively failing. When we can’t clear our minds, we feel like we missed the point. But the idea of just walking through the trees and letting the forest do the heavy lifting feels almost empowering. You don’t have to do it perfectly. You can just let the forest handle the work while you relax into the environment.

A lot of mindfulness guidance talks about forgiving yourself and acknowledging intrusive thoughts without overthinking them; just letting things be, acknowledging the thought, and setting it aside. One practice I’ve actually started using recently is, when I find myself ruminating or playing out potential conflicts in my head, scheduling a specific time later in the day to think about the issue and worries. Once my brain knows that I have time set aside to think through these things, it becomes so much easier to let go in the moment and focus on whatever I'm meant to be doing.

Some of the forest bathing teaching suggests we can actually give our worries to nature and let them deal with them. If you tell a tree your secret, it will carry the burden for you with the force of all the trees in the forest, connected by their roots buried deep in the earth. If you tell a stream or river what's troubling you, it will turn it over and toss it about, and return it to you, perhaps more smoothed out. If you ask a rock, a worry stone, to hold your concern, it will keep it grounded until you decide you want to pick it up again, if you do. 

In this way, I think Maui's hook is all around us - it's nature in every sense of the word. It's the sky, it's water, it's dirt, it's plants. Maui's hook is a healer, pulling what ails us out and raising our spirits, if we let it. 

There’s also something to nature that goes beyond meditation and peace and quiet. Being outdoors brings an element of total surprise that you just can't get in a familiar, enclosed space. Because the forest is alive, if you open your awareness to it, you can see little moments of life that may be ordinary to the animal but extraordinary to you. 

I love spotting the bright red of a cardinal, or the deep red dragonflies I see all the time at the Botanic Garden. Even zooming my attention in to observe a bee pollinating flowers, or other insects going about their business, can feel like a little piece of the world is performing just for me. Once, I saw a hawk catch its prey right in front of me; today, I spotted what I think were turkey vultures working away at something they'd found. You can’t force those moments, and you can't plan for them every time you go out. That unexpectedness acts as a happy trigger - it pulls your focus away from whatever internal loop you were stuck in and locks it onto something unusual, wild, and fascinating.

It made me think about all the books out there about the addictive nature of social media and how it acts like a gambler’s slot machine. You pull the handle to see if you got a comment or a like, chasing those unpredictable dopamine hits. But that constant feedback loop distracts us and pulls us away from our own thoughts, purpose, and meaning.

It feels really important to get outside and replicate those positive dopamine hits through natural surprises instead—grounding them in the real world rather than in technology, social media. In my case, I've been letting go of a volatile relationship where the good was great, but the frequent bad just wore me down like a bad betting habit. Stepping away from that cycle is tough, but getting those hits from a healthier, natural source where I don't have to force anything or win anyone over feels like the right way forward.

Avatar: Pocahontas in Space

I grew up in the age of the beloved Disney movies The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King. When Pocahontas came out in 1995, I loved it in a more mature way, imagining I deeply understood "Colors of the Wind" and playing the song in junior high band. Later, in 2009, James Cameron's Avatar came out, and I was awestruck. I've also always had a thing for space and stars, and it very magically combined my interest in space travel with a fondness for nature.

Those Disney movies and Avatar have stayed with me well into my adulthood. I've always clung to Belle as my favorite character, but Avatar holds a special place in my heart. One year, I "won" Halloween by showing up to a friend's party in full Neytiri costume, having done my own makeup. Nobody talked to me for hours because they didn't recognize me! Once the cat was out of the bag, people were still confused as to who I was supposed to be. I even re-used the costume for a football game, throwing an ASU shirt over the outfit and opting out of the makeup, which made people even more confused. It was such a good movie, and I was always surprised to find how many people had not only not seen it, but had no recollection of what it even was.

When the Pandora area opened up in Disney World, I was thrilled to be immersed in the recreation, and riding the Ikran (or Banshee) on the Flight of Passage ride was more thrilling and awe-inspiring than I could have imagined. 

I don't remember when it first occurred to me that the story of Avatar is the story of Pocahontas in space, but the parallels are fascinating. Here is how they stack up.

The Overall Plot

Both stories involve "modern" people, driven by a greed for resources, clashing with local "savages."

• The Valuable Mineral: In Pocahontas, the colonizers are obsessed with gold, even though it isn't actually there. In Avatar, the "Sky People" are after Unobtainium, which they know is sitting right under Hometree. 

• The Long Journey: The "Skywalkers" in Avatar had to be in cryogenics for the long journey to Pandora, while the Englishmen in Pocahontas had to cross the salt water on a long journey to the Americas.

    

The Antagonists

In both movies, the villain is ugly—both in appearance and spirit—and gives a demeaning speech about the locals to justify killing them.

• Governor Ratcliffe (Pocahontas): "Don't lose your heart, men. It won't be long before we reach the New World. And remember what awaits us there. Freedom, prosperity... the adventure of our lives. You're the finest crew England has to offer, and nothing-- not wind nor rain nor a thousand bloodthirsty savages shall stand in our way. Carry on, men!"

• Colonel Quaritch (Avatar): "You're not in Kansas anymore. You're on Pandora, ladies and gentlemen. Respect that fact, every second of every day. ... Out there beyond that fence, every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes."

The Overseers: Both movies feature a leader who supports the villain, but isn't necessarily quite as evil. In Avatar, this is the corporate administrator Parker Selfridge. Unlike the brutal Colonel, Selfridge isn't painted as a pure combatant; he’s a bureaucrat, which makes his complicity in the destruction feel more cold and calculated. King James in Pocahontas isn't even seen until the sequel - he never steps foot in the New World, and is, therefore, just an ideal over-sea-er. 

Signs from Nature

Both films rely heavily on the idea of a spiritual connection to the environment.

• The Signs: Pocahontas has a dream and confides in Mother Willow. Later, a raccoon brings her the compass John Smith gifted her, reminding her of the spinning arrow in her dream. Neytiri sees the sign from Eywa—the floating, dandelion-like seeds that collect on Jake Sully.

• The Battle: The invaders of both films had superior weapons, and the natives in each story united disparate tribes to form a more powerful army in order to level the playing field.  

• The Rebellion: Mother Nature physically strikes back in both. Mother Willow raises her roots to trip the encroaching Englishmen, and in Avatar, the animals unite to fight against the humans.

Seeing the Forest for the Trees

It isn’t a coincidence that the heart of both stories is a tree. In Pocahontas, Mother Willow is an ancient, sentient guide who offers wisdom and perspective, acting as the spiritual anchor for the entire tribe. In Avatar, Hometree is the literal and metaphorical center of the Omaticaya people—it is their sanctuary, their connection to their ancestors, and their source of life. Both films use these massive, rooted, and ancient beings to highlight a fundamental truth: while the humans see the land as a resource to be harvested or moved, the natives see it as a living entity that holds the memories and spirits of those who came before. When the invaders target the tree in each film, it’s not just an attack on a resource; it’s an assault on the soul of the community.

The Heroes and the Love Story

John Smith and Jake Sully are both battle-tested soldiers, and I love that they share the same initials. They both undergo the same arc: a cocky guy meets the indigenous beauty who happens to be the chief's daughter, betrothed to a beefcake of a warrior, and she teaches him to the foreign hero to nature differently. He realizes his people are in the wrong, falls in love, and is seen as a traitor by his own people.  

• All Tied Up: Both of our heroes are captured by the natives following a misunderstanding. However, in Avatar, Dr. Grace is also captured and tied up, while in Pocahontas, John Smith is by himself.   

• The Injury: In Pocahontas, when John Smith throws himself in front of the musket fire to save the Chief, he is wounded, and Pocahontas rushes to his side, cradling him. Neytiri likewise cradles Jake Sully's human body when he is suffocated in the battle.   

• Lost (and Found) in Translation: It makes sense that the indigenous tribes of each move have their own language. Overcoming the language barrier and learning to communicate is one of the first tests of our new couples. 

The Divergence

How the two films differ is powerful. While the setup of these two films mirrors each other so closely, the way they end is where the real story lives. The depth of the transformation changes significantly between the two eras. In Pocahontas, the hero’s "leaning in" is cautious and tentative; he learns a few lessons, but he remains firmly an outsider, leaving much of the emotional labor of bridge-building to her. In contrast, Jake Sully’s arc is one of complete immersion. He doesn't just visit the forest; he effectively dies to his old life so he can be reborn into the new one. This shift in the heroes' journeys—how they communicate, how they fight, and how they ultimately choose their futures—tells us as much about our evolving culture as it does about the movies themselves.

• Overcoming the Language Barrier: A key difference is the role of language. In Pocahontas, she magically learns English ("Listen with your heart"). In Avatar, the process is more deliberate—Jake is part of a program designed to bridge that cultural gap.  

• No Fight Club Here: While both films lead up to a battle between superior weapons and a united native force, Pocahontas ends with a fragile, hopeful truce. Avatar goes further, with an all-out battle and brutal losses on both sides, ending with the total expulsion of the industrial force.  

• The Departures: John Smith ultimately returns home to heal, leaving behind many of the men in Virginia but ultimately retreating to the world he knows. Jake Sully, however, makes a more radical choice: he permanently abandons his human body to live as an Avatar, helping to lead the effort to expel the industrial force from Pandora entirely. These departures mirror a classic tension—between the comfort of returning to the life we were born into with a newly refreshed perspective, versus the transformative, permanent choice to fully commit to a new way of existing.

There is so much to be said about the velocity of technology today—from the rise of AI to the evolution of increasingly effective, and frankly, scary weaponry. It’s easy to feel the weight of that shift. But I’ve come to believe that in a world where these forces are becoming more pervasive, the act of retreating into nature and intentionally celebrating our humanity is going to increase in importance, not decrease. If Pocahontas and Avatar taught me anything, it’s that no matter how advanced our 'Sky People' tech becomes, it can never replace the quiet wisdom of a forest or the necessity of seeing our world through a lens of connection rather than conquest. The further we advance, the more we need to stay rooted.

 

 

 

Touch Water

The kids these days say they need to "touch grass" which is a new fangled way of saying what ancient people knew - that there is something special, even magical, about getting into nature and experiencing the beauty of plants and animals and landscapes.

I'm deathly allergic to many plants, and especially grass, so touch grass doesn't resonate with me. But when I see an ocean, I can't wait to get my feet into it. I love swimming and snorkeling, too, and boating and cruising, but even if I am without a swimsuit, I am lured to the waters edge to get my feet in, at least. That's my version of touch grass. 

Unfortunately there's not a lot of ocean in Texas, and zero near Fort Worth. So escaping to Hawaii is always a desire, despite the long flight and expense (and I tend to make the latter worse to ease the former vis-a-vis upgrading to first class for the trip). 

I arrived last night on an island new to me - Kauai. It had been my goal to get here ever since I learned I could take a helicopter tour to the waterfalls in Jurassic Park, and I booked the trip while on my solo writing and research trip on Astoria, Oregon, as a way to keep the independent sovereign vibes going. Work has been incredibly busy and stressful on a more personal level - dealing with personnel issues and BS office politics,my least favorite hassles, and this trip couldn't come soon enough. Disconnecting and decompressing is often a struggle for me, and it is especially true today. The trip here was longer than it needed to be due to delays, and it honestly wore me out, although I did manage to read in entirety two books by Andrew Yang! 

After stopping at Target near the airport and then making the trek to the hotel that took close to an hour, during which my energy hit a wall, I crashed hard in bed last night. This morning, I woke up with the threat of a migraine, and the Sunday brunch at the hotel restaurant sounded like exactly what I needed to recharge. I don't usually eat a big breakfast but since I hadn't eaten in several hours before bed last night, I was famished. 

 

While getting ready, I caught a glimpse out my window of two Nene's waddling across my patio. I grabbed my phone and rushed to the door to take a few photos of these rare, endangered birds found only here in Hawaii. A tuxedo cat also graced my patio. Turns out, I needn't have hurried because the Nene's population has apparently made a strong comeback due to the protections put in place for them and they were all over the hotel property! As I ate breakfast on the lanai, several nenes were hanging out by the pool and a mama chicken and her little chicks were wandering around the lanai hunting for charity from the guests. A red-headed cardinal daringly landed on my table and would have eaten right off my plate had I not shooed him away just inches before he got it. He snagged some eggs from the guest at the table next to me, which attracted a flutter of birds. Meanwhile, I watched with amusement as a staff member took a couple pictures of the crowd of Nenes bathing in the pool before attempting to shepherd them away. He got a bunch of them through the beach loungers, towards the open grassy field, before they darted around the chairs and escaped back towards the pool. He quickly turned around and met them on the other side, trying to get between them and the pool, but one by one, they bravely ran past him and he had to start all over again. 

As I paid my bill, I noticed it was time for the feeding at the koi pond, so I found a cozy spot on a beach lounger overlooking the pond and watched as the kids fed the fish for a few minutes. I walked around the hotel property and tried to make it to the beach proclaimed by the "public beach access" but it looked like a muddy mess and I wasn't convinced it would be worth it. So I got in my car, put the top down (at risk, with the overcast sky) and went for a drive. 

On my way to a lookout, I clocked many Nene crossing signs, both formal and improvised, and had the perfect view of five or six flying just above the road. A short distance later there were a huge group of them on the side of the road. 

The lookout was pretty but a bit crowded. I drove down the road in search of a beach but the connection here is bad an I ended in a cul-de-sac so I decided to stop and take in the nature. As I am parked writing this, a fully red cardinal landed on my mirror for a split second before being startled likely by my head movement to look at it. What a cutie, though! I also heard, among the cock-a-doodle-doo's of the chickens and the squeaky songs of some other birds, and knocking sound perhaps of a woodpecker, but it only went off a few times before I stopped hearing it. It's raining now, and that is bringing down my spirits a bit, but I wanted to jot down some thoughts of the special moments and the joy I have in seeing these animals and the beauty of the flowers, so many seem absolutely perfect. I think that's what I need is just nature's perfect and hilarious unexpected wild animals. Enjoying and appreciating them is a special treat, and one I desperately needed. 

I find it funny that so many of my Life List items - which should generally be something of a once in a lifetime event - have turned into a normal, frequent thing. The most predominant example that comes to mind is seeing a show on Broadway. My sister and I saw Wicked when we were in NYC for a wedding. Check! I assumed that was pretty much done. It was awesome! And I'm so grateful we got to do that. Then my boyfriend at the time, Rick, and I planned a trip to NYC. As a gift to me, he wanted to get me tickets to a musical but because he's not really into musicals, he chose the one he felt was most approachable - Wicked. So I saw it on Broadway again. I definitely didn't mind! Later in life, while I was dating Jaiman, we made the tough decision to move to Connecticut with my job. The biggest benefit of living there was the proximity to NYC, and especially Broadway, and we made the most of it. In the year we lived there, we went to more than 10 Broadway shows, including Hamilton (twice), and a handful of off-Broadway hits as well (Spamilton s hilarious!). Moving away didn't end our Broadway attendance. Shortly after we moved, I learned that an alum of my high school whom I vaguely knew was preforming in Chicago! I figured I'd have to go see him sometime. Then COVID happened and I followed his story on social media about how, with the theaters closed, he moved back in with his parents. I bought cookies from him. When Broadway reopened post-pandemic, I wasn't going to procrastinate. He shared dates he'd be performing and I booked a trip. Never mind that it was in January, arguably the worst time to venture to NYC, we were going! We made it in just before a snow storm, and upon landing learned our departing flight was cancelled and we had to rebook for later. Ah well, guess we'll add another show to our trip! We used the opportunity to go to Hadestown. So a once in a lifetime Life List things had been done in spades. 

I'm drawing that parallel to this trip, because another life list thing was too photograph an endangered species. As we were hiking Haleakala on Maui a few years ago, my nephew, David, and I spotted the endangered Nene. Our photos were blurry but it was definitely then! Check! Now to be on this island and see so many Nenes and take literally dozens of pictures of different ones - it's almost ordinary if I didn't know how extraordinary it actually is. 

Let me never take from granted this extraordinary life, and let me perpetually grateful for this extraordinary world. 

Oh, and I did finally touch water.

Chasing the Aurora: Chena Hot Springs Resort

I stumbled upon this place while researching tours to check off Life List #7: See an Aurora. I was on the fence about booking a multi-day tour with the premium price it punched, versus winging it and not having the complimentary aurora phone call in the middle of the night. But as I perused their itineraries, I stole shamelessly what sounded like fun - including and probably most importantly, the Chena Hot Springs Resort. Now, those tours only did a day visit or one night stay, whereas doing it on my own meant I could stay for multiple nights. So when I finally decided to make the trip, that's exactly what I did. Unfortunately, the rooms with bathrooms were booked up except for one or two nights so I ended up mixing and matching a little - one room for one night and another room for two more nights. But, that afforded me the opportunity to stay in two different lodges, albeit similar.

Before even arriving at the resort, I got pretty excited because the lady at the rental car counter told me she goes regularly for an evening soak, dinner at the restaurant and aurora viewing after. And she said the Northern Lights had been great recently, which I was thrilled to hear, of course. Anyways, always a good sign for the locals to praise a place.

Getting there from the Fairbanks Airport was quite easy in a rental car - its mostly straight on one road for about an hour through wooded landscapes spotted with ponds, lakes and rivers. Signs warn of moose, horses and even dog sled teams.

The first thing that impressed me when I pulled in through the one-lane bridge was how little it felt gimmicky or tourist-trappy. It was sprawling and there were a couple well-placed signs directing where to go, but other than that, it could almost have been a private residence or a simple small business from the looks of it.

I checked in easily and was given a real key (not a key card), which I actually prefer because I've had too many instances of the key card getting demagnetized or just not working and it's such a hassle! I decided to check out the lodge and locate my room before lugging all my stuff in, so I stopped in at the Moose Lodge first. My room was on the second floor so I walked the length of the floor hoping to find an elevator. With no such luck, I knew I'd have to carry my suitcase up the steps. Not my favorite thing to do, but that's why I packed lightly. Actually in hindsight, since I'd be moving rooms after the first night, I should have just packed what I needed for the one night into my backpack. But I wasn't really sure what I'd need in all fairness, so here we are.

 

The hallway was very warm, like they were overcompensating for the cold by pumping extra heat into the lodge. I wasn't going to complain, though. I did think it was funny when I got to my room and the fan was on and the window was cracked. I got settled into my room and responded to some messages while I debated what to do first. But it was clear, I couldn't wait to get into the hot springs! I slipped into my bathing suit but then faced a funny dilemma - how does one dress appropriately to go swimming but also not freeze while in transit to the pool when its 44 outside? So I basically put back on the clothes I'd been wearing all day over my swimsuit.

After signing the required waiver, I got my towel and headed to the women's locker room. I wasn't sure what I could or should bring into the pool with me, so I left my phone and pretty much everything in the locker, bringing just a bottle of water and the towel. I showered in my bathing suit real quick and then headed outside - wow that's a cold walk! I made it worse by going to the wrong way despite signs that are fairly clear - I got myself to the outdoor hot tub first and it was quite crowded and not what I wanted anyways, so I got myself turned around and headed to the big outdoor hot spring pool.

Stepping in, the water was HOT! It turns out, the whole pool is not that hot, but by certain rocks it is much hotter, including the ramp entering the pool. The pool was very large - probably 4 or 5 times the size of my backyard pool. There were maybe 20 people in there in their little groups and it felt very spacious. What I didn't expect was that the floor of the pool was loose rocks. Not pokey, thank goodness, although some parts were harder.

The soak was glorious! Getting out was rough because you have to once again subject yourself to the biting cold of the outdoors, and those tiny towels were not blocking any of the wind. I decided at a later time that the key was just to soak in the heat for so long that your body maintains the heat and is happy for the cool, crisp air.

After showering, I headed back to my room to get ready for dinner. The restaurant does not take reservations and the wait has been consistent in my experience here, but there is thankfully plenty of comfortable seating in the lobby, bathrooms and a gift shop to make the wait time more bearable or even productive. The food is pretty average - not bad but not anything to rave about. But they have a wide selection, which is great, and you're kind of a captive audience with very few options (if any - I couldn't find any on Google) nearby. If you're on a bit of a budget, it is definitely worth it to bring your own food, especially non-perishable items. There is a microwave in the Activities Center, although the rooms do not have fridges or microwaves.

I was so tired I could barely stay up to do anything, so I called it a night but set my alarm clock for 1:30 am with hopes of seeing the Northern Lights then. I got up dutifully when my alarm went off, although I could see nothing promising out my window. I took my car keys and drove out about 8 miles or so to one of the trailhead parking lots to see if I getting away from the resort would yield any sightings. However, not being totally committed, I was wearing flip-flops and did not have too many layers on, and I got cold quickly. It didn't help that in the total darkness next to the woods, hearing noises behind me totally creeped me out - is it a bear? A wolf? So I gladly got back in the car, but rolled down the window and sat there for a little while longer to give myself a little more time to see something. No dice, and not really even sure if I was in a good position or "doing it right", I gave up and headed back to the hotel. I crashed back into bed with my next alarm set for 6:30.

I woke up the next morning and got ready to go back to the hot springs pool which opens at 7. I wasn't the first one in, but there were only about five or six of us for the first few hours of the morning. Having engaged in a conversation with a local, Rufus, who may or may not have been trying to woo me, I stayed in about two and a half hours - whoops! Instead of going back to my room to shower and get ready, I had brought a fresh set of clothes and toiletries with me, so I basically did all my getting ready there in the locker room. I never ended up using the shower in my hotel room!

Before returning to my room, I stopped by the Activities Center and booked the Aurora Tour from 9:30 pm to 2:30 am that night, as well as the Ice Museum tour for 1 pm. The latter would give me something to do while being "roomless", and the former gave me a much better chance of seeing whatever there was to be seen in the night's sky.

Back at my room, I packed up my stuff and brought it to my car just in time to check out of that room. I left my stuff in the car which actually was quite convenient as I didn't have to go all the way back to my room when I wanted to grab something or drop things off.  

I bought a soda and Gatorade from the cafe and hung out in the Activity Center which was actually quite entertaining and informative. The staff there were really knowledgeable and I learned that there is a dog sledding excursion but you can also just go to the dog yard and pet the dogs. They provided recommendations for hikes of varying lengths and abilities, and talked about the wildlife one may encounter. One activity I passed on but sounded somewhat interesting is the Geothermal Plant Tour.

In preparation for the Ice Museum Tour, I grabbed some extra layers and gloves from my car and returned to the Activity Center to pick up the tour there. The sculptures and architecture sculpted from ice was quite impressive, although to be honest, I was expecting more statues like the award-winning horse sculpture that was in there. Still, it was a fun time, and very cold, as promised. The optional add-on of an Apple Martini served in an ice glass was one of my favorite parts, perhaps because I was quite dehydrated from the hot springs soak that morning (Rufus had offered me water but I declined) and started biting my empty ice glass to get some water. Nevertheless, those of us with glasses partook in the tradition we were informed of, to take the glass out to the parking lot, make a wish, and throw the glasses down to shatter. 

I dropped a couple layers back at my car, and spent some time wandering around the nature trail and then to the dog yard. Unfortunately, the dogs we were allowed to pet were limited to those up for adoption and only if they showed interest. I walked around and most of them were just sleepy and bored looking. One seemed interested but when I approached to pet the pup he or she cowered away. Then one finally got excited about me and tried jumping on me. So I got her to jump up on the box they all have as a little home, and gave her lots of love. In trying to take a selfie, she gave me kisses.

Check in time is technically 4 pm but around 2:30 I headed over to the front desk and asked if it was possible to check in early and sure enough my new room was ready. My thought was to get settled and try to nap all afternoon so as to be able to stay awake for the Aurora Tour. I lugged my suitcase to the room in the far building for the Fox Lodges. Each building is just four rooms connected by one small corridor from the entrance. The nice thing is that there are no stairs. But the rooms are definitely more basic than the Moose Lodge. Still, it was sufficient and I was glad to have a bathroom. Of course, as it seems to go for me, I laid down for my nap and struggled for about two hours during which I don't think I ever got to sleep. I finally relented and got up. I went for a late dinner but started to get anxious as it got closer to tour time since I still needed to added my layers back on (and then some). It worked out, though, I had plenty of time and got to the Activities Center to claim a seat on the bench while I waited with 64 new friends.

I joke, but truthfully I feel I did make some friends on that long and exhilarating tour. First of all, humorously, during role call, my name was called, "Laura, party of 1," and the young woman next to me raised her hand, then "Laura P, party of 1," and I was acknowledged, although obviously I was the first Laura party of 1. Both of us were put into the Bear vehicle with the leading tour guide Alexi (I think?), along with Vanessa and Ethan from Kentucky whom I had met on the Ice Museum Tour earlier that day, a couple from Guatemala, a couple from Mexico City, and another couple. With a half hour trek crammed in these arctic tanks, and a half hour back, plus time in the yurt together, we definitely got to know each other. But I am getting ahead of myself.

So obviously we loaded into the little arctic tanks (I'm not sure what they're called but that seems fitting enough) and it was a bit of a bumpy ride with no snow to soften the lack of shocks. But it was warm
enough, especially with the body heat of my fellow passengers in such tight quarters. I think the worst part of the trip is that we were seated perpendicular to the direction of travel and going uphill, so I felt like I was using one oblique side of my abs only and it was wearing me out. There were bars on the ceiling which seemed secure enough, although I wasn't entirely sure if they were meant to be grab bars. But they were cold so you didn't want to grip them for long, plus gripping them puts your arms in an uncomfortable position and blocks your conversation a bit. Nevertheless, not a bad trip, and at least we can chalk it up to an experience!

I had no idea what to expect on this tour - if we'd be going to multiple spots, for example. Turns out, no, they just take us to a specific spot where they have two large yurts set up and nicely heated, with folding chairs. There were two portapotties which were spacious, heated and had nice smelly candles. Once they gave us the rundown, they set us loose to basically do what we wanted for several hours. They played music in the "main" yurt and served complimentary hot beverages and noodles at request. Obviously, the main attraction would be if/when the Aurora appeared, and they said they would make it obvious so we didn't have to be out there watching. We were allowed to bring our chairs out if we wanted. Once we were set loose, many people lined up for beverages or headed outside.

I decided to just sit for a bit and buckle down until I decided to do something different. I don't think it was ten minutes, maybe not even five, before our driver popped his head through the door and said, "Umm, yeah so the Northern Lights have started." So non-chalantly! I thought they'd be yelling it triumphantly!

It wasn't much when it started, but it lasted for the remainder of the time we were out there, putting on more of a show after midnight and even more so right as we left. The first few times I went out with my chair and set up my tripod and made a time of it. But it was really cold and getting colder, so each time I went in and back out again, I brought less, until it was just me and my tripod, leaving my bag and chair in the yurt. At one break from the cold, I had some hot chocolate, and another, I had the noodles, adding Sriracha to my liking. There were periodic meteors shooting also, which made me wonder what the chances would be of capturing one in my pictures of the Aurora.

Imagine my joy when, and I'm not even sure how this happened, my phone captured a one second video of the Aurora dancing and a meteor shooting! It was absolutely beautiful, and if I wasn't already elated from just seeing the Northern Lights, that just quadrupled my excitement. I was so excited when I saw it as I was looking at my pictures in the yurt, but then I looked around and didn't see anyone to share it with. Finally, some of my group came in and I got to show them what I had captured excitedly. They all agreed it was pretty awesome and we exchanged contact info so I could share it with them once we were back in a service area.

Ethan and Vanessa admired all my photos and were struggling to take decent ones holding their iPhone in their hands. I encouraged them to take my tripod and use that, and they were grateful at how much better their pictures turned out and even took some pictures of themselves. I joined them and they were able to get a couple pictures of me and then I did some better ones of them on my phone.

On the way back, those from my group who hadn't yet seen my pictures got to see them, especially the meteor one, and they all shared in my excitement. It was a bit colder so we turned on the heater and while some of them seemed cold still, I was quite comfy in my layers. We got back to the Activity Center and wearily bid adieu and I headed to my cabin to go to bed. I was surprised at how awake I was and that I hadn't nodded off once - I supposed to adrenaline of the experience had kept me going. I couldn't wait to post the pictures so I got the post started, knowing on the slow wifi it would take a while to post, and finally went to bed.

And well, mission accomplished! For the short remainder of my stay, I enjoyed more of the hot springs and the outdoor hot tub, ate at the restaurant and mostly kicked back in my room, reading, napping and writing.  

If you're considering a trip to the Fairbanks area to see the Northern Lights, definitely plan to come during the peak season. And if you aren't a fan of the cold, the hot springs resort is an incredible option. The tour was great, too! 

Luxe Yosemite

One of my newest life objectives is to see the Milky Way with the naked eye. I mean really see it, like those gorgeous long exposure pictures but irl. I've been searching for opportunities for a few years, missing optimal conditions and being disappointed by the non-results. The now-ex and I had gone up to Yosemite but stayed at an AirBnB in the hills just outside of the park, which I thought would still be close enough but the light pollution from the small town was still too much. We did enjoy a luxurious hot tub outside and listening to the wild turkey calls, and we hiked around the park and climbed a waterfall, so the trip wasn't a let down by my standards, we just failed to see the Milky Way. We also took a trip to Bryce Canyon and had a ton of good hiking fun in that park. We even returned to the park after dark in hopes of seeing the Milky Way, but it was still very much a no-go. This past year as a newly single woman, I camped at Amboy Crater twice and booked a stargazing and astrophotography session at the top of the mountain in Maui, still to no avail. The Hawaii native photographer kept commenting how she has never seen the sky this unclear. I assured her, its me, I'm the problem, its me.

So now I'm attacking my quest with more intention, trying to have plans to be in a dark sky site for every new moon, or at least the weekend closest to the new moon. January was Amboy Crater again. And while the stars were pretty dazzling at Amboy Crater, I didn't get the full effect I expect from a Milky Way shot.

For February, I made plans to go back to Yosemite, this time staying in the park. There are a number of options and I don't mind roughing it usually, but I do get up and use the bathroom a lot so I wasn't too excited about the cabins that had communal bathrooms some distance away outside. Instead I opted for the high end option at the Ahwahnee. And if you've followed some of my adventures before, you know that when I go high end, I kinda go all out high end. So I booked the King room with a balcony. Usually hotels have several of these types of rooms if they have any. Here, not so much it seems. I'm basing that on the comment the waiter said to me when I gave him my room number to charge to. But I'm jumping ahead, let me get to that later.

From my home in Palmdale, CA, the drive to Yosemite was just around 6 hours. So, I could easily drive up there early in the day Friday, do some hiking or have down time, stay over night and hopefully get the view I'm after from my balcony, do some hiking in the morning and head home Saturday evening. That was my theory, anyways. And I was glad I planned it that way, because I ended up taking a business / househunting trip leaving early Sunday morning. The Saturday before my Yosemite trip, I checked the weather forecast for Yosemite for my planned trip dates and it showed snow and overcast. I was extremely disappointed, realizing that meant absolutely no chance of a Milky Way appearance, and snow deterred my desire to hike or even drive there. I tried calling to cancel, although I did notice that the reservation said 7 day cancellation policy. Canceling was a no-go, as the somewhat rude personnel informed me on the phone that weather was not a valid reason. So, knowing I wouldn't get my money back, I debated forfeiting it rather than drive up there in the snow by myself and risking wasting my time having a bad time. But as the week went on, the weather forecast changed from snow to just overcast. Still not promising to see any lights in the sky, but at least the danger of icy conditions seemed to lessen.

I decided to go and make the most of it, as I am prone to do, even if that meant driving to the lodge, bundling up under the covers and enjoying my view from indoors. Nadine advised me that I might need chains for my tires and indeed I saw some warnings to that effect, but nothing certain. I decided better safe than sorry, so the first thing I did after packing my car up was to stop at Walmart and get chains. I had no idea it was so complicated, but luckily I was able to goggle sufficient (I think) info about my car to get the right set and they were in stock. I never had to use them, so I guess I technically don't know for sure I got the right ones, but we'll just assume I did my diligence.

That hurdle seemingly behind me, I headed towards Yosemite. I listened to my audiobook for a good portion of the trip (this is a great way to make use of your time on long road trips)! It occurred to me, and not sure how it hadn't registered in my brain before, that one of the warnings in the Yosemite park's page was about the influx of traffic due to the February "Firefall." I looked up more information and found that yes, this weekend was the first anticipated possible sighting. The phenomenon lasts only a few moments, and conditions would have to be just right. Some websites said the sky had to be completely void of clouds, which I knew would be unlikely given the overcast forecast. But other sites showed pictures of the Firefall with clouds in the background - so clearly it didn't have to be totally, umm, clear.

Not getting my hopes up, I decided to at least try to locate where the possible Firefall would show and do some hiking in and around the area before checking in to my hotel. The websites made it sound like you had to get there really early to "claim your spot" for the viewing, so I didn't want to risk losing my "spot" by checking in to the hotel. Also, I thought there was a good chance that once I was in my room, I wouldn't want to leave my bed.

But it was also chilly outside - there was snow in parts of the park. I put my snow boots on thinking I'd just meander a bit, not quite ready for a full on hike. I ended up meandering for over 3 miles and, not wearing socks, my feet were starting to get a little sore in the boots. As the sunset drew closer, the clouds hadn't budged so I knew it was really unlikely that the Firefall would show at this point. Still, my FOMO (and frankly, not having anything really better to do other than unwind in my hotel room) kept me out there just in case the clouds suddenly parted.

For those that do want to pursue the Firefall, here are some tips I learned, at least based on the 2024 season.

• Entrance to the park is by reservation only Saturdays and Sundays during the peak Firefall weekends in February. But if you enter Friday as I did and stay at lodging in the park, then you don't have to worry about that.
• It's a 1.5 mile walk (one way) to the designated viewing area from the optimal parking lot. The park had lots of signs stating no stopping along the route to pickup/drop off passengers, but they did make a nice walkway out of half the road.
• The viewing area is a small field so you can bring a chair or blanket to sit on, otherwise you're probably going to be standing for a while and then hiking back the 1.5 miles.

Finally, I made my way to the Ahwahnee. It was valet parking only, so I did my best to juggle all the bags and things I wanted to bring in. I assume, after a 6 hour drive and then hiking and carrying in all my stuff, I must have looked a bit frazzled because the front desk personnel did not seem interested in helping me. Their attitude changed noticeably when they realized which room I was checking into. The keys to the rooms are not like those credit card-like keys that are so common, but rather old-school metal keys which is kind of neat.

Before heading to my room, I stopped by the Dining Hall hostess and asked if I could get a reservation for about an hour out - she said she'd put me on the wait list and it would be about an hour, so that was perfect. I figured I'd go shower and clean myself up a bit and then have a nice dinner and cocktails.

I took the pretty ancient elevator up to the fourth floor and not too far down its own hallway was my epic room 450. The room itself had a lot of old world charm much like the whole hotel. Not particularly my style, but definitely over-the-top, everywhere you look.

It took me a while to negotiate the double dutch doors out to the balcony but that was the biggest surprise. The balcony was GINORMOUS! I mean, this wasn't a 4 x 6 balcony. This was a deck with multiple couches, tables and chairs and gorgeous views 270 degrees. It looked like the outdoor seating area for an entire restaurant or bar. I think it was strangely shared with one other room, but there were no other doors leading to it so at worst it was a giant party balcony shared between two rooms. 

 

I hopped in the shower and got ready to head downstairs, figuring I'd go to the gift shop or bar if the restaurant wasn't quite ready. But in perfect timing, the text came through that my table was ready as I was waiting for the elevator. I assumed I had never been in the restaurant before, but as soon as I walked in I realized that my ex and I had gone there for lunch in our previous trip to Yosemite. Nevermind that, since I wasn't driving anywhere, I intended to have some delicious cocktails and a nice dinner in this gorgeous hall. And that is exactly what I did! For my first cocktail, I ordered the Inspiration Point. Then I went to the buffet and loaded up my plate. While the food was all good, I have to say that the mac 'n cheese had something a little magical about it and was hands down the best mac 'n cheese I've ever had (and I think I am a bit of a connoisseur, so that is a big statement).

I went back to get a few things for dessert, and I got my Firefall after all - in the form of a delicious cocktail. It was a hot chocolate spiked with a chili liquor. It was so sweet it was almost hard to drink, but very delicious.

In the morning, I grabbed a hot chocolate to go from the bar downstairs, and then retreated back to my room. I tried enjoying the breathtaking view on my gigantic balcony, but it was still a bit too chilly to really get comfortable. My windows had fogged up but I was able to wipe it off from the inside, so I enjoyed a not-so-complete view from my bed while I read and did some things on my phone.

When I was a bit more awake, I decided to explore the hotel a bit more. My first stop was the gift shop, and then I checked out the Solarium and the Mural Room. As it got close to checkout time, I packed my stuff up, checked out and called for my car at the valet. I still drove around quite a bit, still enjoying the park, but didn't feel up for any further hiking. I ended up on the other side of the park and exited that way, which was a little weird but seemed to put me closer to home, so couldn't complain about that. 

Anyways, if you want the most baller balcony ever, go for the "Featured Hotel Rooms - King" and book far in advance.