Singing in the New Year: 2026 Resolutions

Every year, I relish looking back to reflect on the happy memories made, sometimes despite minor or major troubles in life. And the coming of a new year always holds such potential, I excite at the prospect of setting new goals and seeing what I can do through the twists and turns life will inevitably throw at me. 

I've been brainstorming for a couple weeks now on what I want to set out for myself in 2026, but instead of finding clarity and focus, as is exemplified by my life, I have a million thoughts in a thousand different directions. It has been helpful to look back at my previous new year's resolution posts to remember what was important to me, and which of those areas of my life may still be important. 

Let's Get Physical

Movement - whether straight exercise or more adventurous activities like hiking in the wilderness or swimming in ocean, along with dance which has a social element to it - has been a consistent theme and one that I would be remiss if I left off again this year, and perhaps all years. 

In some of my recent reading, I have been reminded that we can sort of rewire our brains by strengthening the paths of the habits we want to create or by lessening the frequency of exercising the pathways we don't want to promote. While I've had sprints of good exercise habits, and I've continued going out to dance regularly, it still has not become consistent enough and I am very good at making excuses for myself. 

So putting those ideas together, I think I need to exercise with the intention of re-wiring my brain. Reframing it in this way gives me a purpose and a way to combat the excuses I inevitably want to make for myself. Calling out the excuses for what they are, and reminding myself that fighting against the choice not to exercise is actually promoting the thing in my brain that I want to strengthen. 

I want dancing to continue to be a part of my life, and I don't think I have to set that as a resolution for that to continue idly. I have toyed with getting more serious with it - taking lessons, for example, or practicing and really becoming an expert in a routine or two. Specifically, I love the "Doin' the Jive" routine, it's not too complicated or difficult, and I think if I practiced enough, I could even possibly offer to teach it at FWSDS. I could practice the "California Orange" routine to get better at that in case it is taught again at Camp Hollywood next year, or maybe I could spy on what the LA dancers are working on and try to get ahead of it with that routine. 

I also think, beyond the comfort and convenience of indoor exercise, I should aim for more intentional outdoor hikes. I already have scheduled for myself a trip to Kawaii and a trip to Yellowstone, so those are great opportunities to not just be outdoors but to do something rigorous. This starts by simply searching for and planning things to do which would involve walking or hiking in the wilderness. And I do love a good trip planning session! 

One Song

Musical pursuits have been on my mind a lot in recent months, and I've tried to postpone it to keep myself focused on writing and publishing my book(s) for the remainder of the year, so now is the time to explore what I really want to do in 2026. 

My reinvigorated interest started as more of a fun thing: playing with generative AI to create songs that are surprisingly catchy and entertaining, even if not totally perfect in pronunciation and logical flow. I've had a latent desire to get a better recording of "Go in Peace and Love," an a capella song I sang with my Madrigal Choir in high school every year, and which had great meaning I think to all of us. Wouldn't it be amazing to get the gang back together to record it? Or to find new talented singers with whom to rehearse and record it? My niece, Anna, has a beautiful voice and expressed interest in recording - I think her Dad even got her a recording session for Christmas - so I shared my thought with her which piqued her interest. 

I've also had a latent desire to pick up on piano/keyboard lessons and learn how to play some songs that people can sing along to, or even better, learn how to sight read on piano. I recently went to a Christmas party at the house of a swing dancer I know in Fort Worth, and he was actually playing songs on his historic but surprisingly well-tuned piano, while a few of us stood around and sang along. We started with Christmas tunes and then moved onto Broadway show tunes. It was so much fun to me, I would love to do that regularly, and I hope I'll at least be able to return to that as a holiday tradition while living in Texas. 

Beyond gen AI music, I often dabble in writing parody lyrics, or even writing lyrics for original tunes. I've enjoyed these exercises and sometimes dream of writing a full musical, but the ambition and lack of focus are daunting. So trying to find the middle ground between taking on a fun project and being able to complete it is the challenge. 

I have a decent microphone and sound-dampening panels, so I think I'd like to set a goal of recording a least one vocal song. In addition, I do want to dig up the "Go in Peace and Love" sheet music and pass that on to Anna, or at least get it in front of myself again. Perhaps I could record the individual parts myself, if I am so inclined. 

Beyond creating and performing, it has occurred to me that I often feel behind on learning of new musicals, and that seems like a very solvable problem. So I'd like to find ways to be more connected to Broadway news and up and coming shows. 

No Place Like Home

Until I looked back at my old new year resolution posts, it hadn't even occurred to me that a new DIY home design project has been turning in my head. Having fully satisfied my vision for my Love Island-themed bathroom, and executed my alternative Texas styling in my family room, complete with hot pink fireplace, I think it's time I turn my attention to that boring kitchen of mine. I already have a theme - citrus - and a vision, so really, it's just about refining the design and executing at this point. 

Sorry, Not Sorry

It has weighed on my mind that one of the pieces of actionable (but annoyingly hard) feedback from my boss was that I say, "Um," too much and that my speaking could use polish. While I recognize this as true historically, I've also sort of embraced it as I've been told how I communicate is effective. I also take a little pride in being unapologetically me, and that is a part of my language. But, if I want to advance into the higher echelons of the company, which I do, then it may be worth acting on the feedback. 

Billionaire (Passive Income, Automation and Technology)

Ever since my Python script to post to Twitter stopped working, I haven't had automated or manual promotion consistently for my book(s), fabrics and blog. As such, I think it's time to dig in on figuring out a way to automate social media posts again, especially for my fabric business which is a small but steady source of passive income. It is much improved when there are posts about it, so ignoring that untapped potential seems frivolous. 

I also would like to complete my AI certification program and find ways to utilize that learning as part of my IncQueries project. 

And similar to my desire to keep up with the latest Broadway musicals, I've realized I've defaulted to books for much of my intel, but books hardly keep up with the changing technology landscape, so I should shift some of my "input" bandwidth to podcasts, YouTube channels, or news publications and the like, related to my interests in technology and economics. 

A big source of frustration and reason for procrastination in my personal resolutions for 2025 was wanting to publish my management book. I set out to establish relationships with actual publishers who could provide editorial critiques and help market my book and maybe even create a path towards becoming a writer beyond a single book. I found it to be much harder than I anticipated, and pivoted to self-publishing with a program I was willing to invest in if it worked. I got stuck, however, largely on the "building a list" based on social media posts discipline again. I could still exercise one of the features to try to get unstuck, but I'm not convinced self-publishing is the way to go for books I really care about. The topic of the book didn't explicitly have to be management per my resolution, and I did, indeed, self-publish my book on Astoria, which was a fun rabbit hole to go down. But the pivot away from seeking a real publisher relationship was unsatisfactory to me. As such, I think I'd like to give that another go, but I'm not sure I'm committed to making it a resolution this year. 

The rabbit hole I went down for my Astoria book was a fun one, and if I wanted to do a more light-hearted book again, I have many topics I could pursue, including connecting the disparate mythologies and conspiracy theories of the Bermuda Triangle, ancient unexplainable architecture, crop circles and patterns in stone under rivers, etc. When I moved from California to Texas a couple years ago, at the urging of my friend Allison, I stopped at The Thing to see the updated museum, and documented the new bizarre explanation of all of history as we know it (spoiler alert: it was all the aliens' doing). That kind of stuff makes me laugh but also is a fun exercise is challenging the "known" science and history. 

I'm leaning towards an "either/or" resolution. Either I figure out how to automate my social media, and try to build my list / audience, or I attack the challenge of getting in with a publisher. 

And if I could combine another fun rabbit hole project with the outdoor movement, that would be a reasonably efficient way to accomplish a lot with limited time and resources. 

You've Got a Friend in Me

Finally, I want to strengthen my existing friendships and develop new local friendships. While swing dancing offers a social environment outside of work, that is not a sufficiently social environment to forge deep friendships necessarily. So I think this is where I can set more discrete goals for myself, spending one day (or part of a day) a month with a friend or family member (not a romantic partner), and seeking classes or activities in which socializing could promote new friendships. 

My Resolutions

It feels like a very well-rounded list is formulating, with lots of bonus ideas or general focus areas. So, let's give it a go. In 2026, I think I'll endeavor to: 

• Physicality - Make Movement a Requirement to Re-wire my Brain
• Bonus: Make plans to get out into nature for walks and hikes
• Plan Yellowstone trip in detail
• Plan Kawaii trip in detail
• Plan for work trips
• Bonus: Learn a dance routine expertly
• Musical - Record at least one song (or continue on with an album)
• Bonus: Find the sheet music for "Go in Peace and Love"
• Bonus: Start practicing keyboard/piano again
• Optional: Try to find new musicals and stay up to date on them
• Home - Complete Kitchen Redesign/Renovation
• Bonus: Finish unpacking all boxes
• Bonus: Consolidate clothes into my primary closet (and donate the rest)
• Technology & Passive Income - Automate Social Media and/or Get into a Publisher with my (management) book
• Optional: Go down another rabbit hole to write another low-stakes book
• Bonus: Complete AI certification course
• Relationships - Spend one day per month with a (non-romantic) friend or family member
• Find classes or activities to attend with like-minded people 
• Profession - Invest time and energy towards refining my language

Here are a few fun videos that capture just some of the fun I had in 2025. 

A Year in Review: 2023

I set out at the beginning of this year to focus on four themes, which I'll summarize as:
(1) Live intentionally
(2) Re/connect deeply
(3) Get outdoors & "into" space
(4) Create ease

These four items have been starring at me from my little letterboard on my mantle, in plain view when I'm sitting in my favorite recliner sofa seat and where any guests can easily see it. I think I've done a pretty damn good job of all of them, although of course I could always do more.

Live intentionally

I started this year with a bad boss and was able to secure a position with a fantastic manager. That was a big deal for me; although it was a very tough decision in the moment, as time went on it proved to be one of the best decisions I could have made. Some ideas I had originated when I set my 2023 themes were also directly accomplished. I bought land, specifically 2.5 acre in the Mojave desert - I just absolutely fell in love with the location, situated just up to a mountain and looking down on the valley but isolated enough I could camp there and not see a single soul. Book and plan a vacation also was done in spades, I'd say. I just came back from a terrific holiday in Maui with my whole family, which I had largely coordinated. I had also had a great time in Las Vegas with A.J. while we were seeing each other, and then with Deric shortly after we became a couple. A fantastic trip to Colorado in August ties to the next theme, reconnecting with a childhood friend, Laura. I spent over a week in North Carolina with my sister, continuing our tradition of being the first to visit when one of us moves. I completed my downstairs bathroom wallpapering and installed a new light, and completed my master WC wallpapering. Some of the other ideas, though, weren't accomplished or adhered to, such as increasing my health routine discipline, having a mindfulness weekend retreat and a blog-a-thon. I'd still like to do those things regularly, and they would probably be good for my stress and health as I face new uncertainties next year.

Re/connect deeply

I've never been very good at maintaining relationships, but I did make an effort this year. The most triumphant being spending a week or so with my childhood friend, Laura, in her home in Colorado Springs. We had been friends in first and second grade, she lived only a few houses away from me, but after I moved away and even when I moved back, we had never really been close. We even went to the same high school and our circles of friends loosely intersected, but her and I were mostly acquaintances I'd say. Through one positive example in a world of negatives, I would credit social media for helping us to reconnect, as we followed each others' adventures and talked about getting back together some time, and this was the year I finally made good on that notion. I think we were both a little nervous about suddenly spending so much time together after years of barely knowing each other, but we had a brilliantly hilarious time and vowed not to wait so long to do it again. I also tried reconnecting with long-time friend and short-lived romantic partner, Rick, and we did have dinner one night while I was in Arizona for a charity walk I've tried to do with Allison most years, but that relationship still feels strained. It was great, of course, to see Allison, and she's another one I’d like to be a better friend to. Also on that visit, I went to swing dance with my favorite instructors, and they made me feel like a celebrity returning home. One of my previously favorite dance partners there, Miguel, encouraged me to go to Camp Hollywood and I knew I should, since dancing was also a thing I was investing more of my time into. I am so glad he encouraged me to do - it was amazing and I'm already booked for next year.

I also did a lot of dating this year, trying to find my next Mr. Right and it's been tougher than I imagined. I've had a lot of great memories and far too many
heartbreaking let downs. When I started this blog long ago, it was a dating blog, and I thought it would be fun to return it to one being single, but when I reflect on it, dating was fun back then and it has a more serious tone to it now. I'm not dating to make fun of it, I want to find my someone and that doesn't feel like something I want to poke fun at. Well, after months of ups and downs on the dating front, I am now with Deric, who may not be perfect, but he's at least my Mr. Right Now.

Get outdoors and "into" space

I never imagined how much of nature and space I would do this year. Shortly after the year started, by mere happenstance as far as I can tell, I saw a post - was it an

ad? - inviting volunteers to support the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve. I knew about the reserve - my sister and I had visited it out of season but I had missed the blooms the prior year. I mentioned it to one of my employees who happened to be traveling for work with me when I saw the post, and she got so excited about it I cemented the idea in my head that this would be a great thing to do. And it was! I loved my trailwatch shifts - four hours, and I usually hiked about 5 miles, stopping to educate guests or take pictures for them. It was a great way to get my butt out of the house and into nature, and I intend to do it as long as I live here. I even got to bring several friends and employees out with me!

I did also do the space-y things I wanted to do - I visited the Griffith Observatory as a sort-of date with Kevin during one of their events, Above, and started watching their monthly show All Space Considered. I also managed to finagle a private tour of the Lockheed Martin Space site in Littleton, Colorado during my personal trip there.

I also set out on several stargazing quests. In late January and early February, I was watching weather and visibility to find a time when I could perhaps see the green comet. Conditions were poor over and over again, until finally, towards the end of its time in our sky, I camped out on my land in Mojave and was able to capture a view of it through my binoculars. Later in the year, Nadine and I camped out at Amboy Crater and watched the Perseids and Orionids meteor showers, catching dozens of shooting stars and one fantastic fireball. I was not so fortunate in my last attempt - I had booked a private stargazing and astrophotography tour in Maui but when we climbed to the summit at 10,000 feet, the stars were barely out and were quickly covered up - no such luck at capturing the Milky Way as is usual up there. Nevertheless, I learned quite a bit about the relationship between the Hawaiians and the stars, how they navigated by the stars and drew the first celestial maps, and all stars have a Hawaiian name as homage to their contributions.

Create ease

I probably did the least of this - certainly not all the things I aspired to do. But I have utilized AI and automation in ways to make my life better, and that was the objective of the theme.

Life List Update

While many things went well this year, I was worried that this would be the first year since I started my Life List in which I wouldn't have completed at least one thing from my list. Many years I complete several items all in one big vacation, or I complete a few items from various little efforts. To be fair, many of the easier ones are completed and that leaves more difficult ones or items that are specific to a location to which I haven't yet traveled. But, after my nephew joined me in Maui, we decided to go hiking on Haleakala. So I made the trek in the convertible once again through the twists and turns, but this time in the daylight and with company, and when we stopped in the visitor center we learned that the local Ne ne birds are the most endangered species of goose. We spotted several of them both while hiking and while driving, and managed to take a few blurry pictures of them, which I'll consider as checking off Life List item #93: Photograph an endangered species. So not a minute too soon, December 21st was the day that ensured this was not the year in which I didn't complete something from my Life List.

Final reflections

There have been many years with drastic changes in jobs and where I lived, but this year seems like even more change even though I stayed put in Palmdale. Starting with ending a nearly 10 year relationship, reconnecting with old friends, a small job change, investing in my swing dancing like I hadn't in several years, and really just finding myself again has been tumultuous. I'm not sure that I've fully found myself yet, but perhaps that is an ongoing journey always. I've cried a lot, sometimes for silly reasons, sometimes because life is just stupid hard, and sometimes for no real
reason at all. But I've also had the best of people around me and great times, amazingly beautiful moments and laughter that made my cheeks hurt. And I guess that's what life is all about, isn't it? As the last year fully in my 30's, I can definitely say that I lived.

It's May!

Once upon a time, I started this blog after a relationship break-up, and in part, to catalog the quirky adventures of dating. I had given up on love at that time, to be honest, which was both sort of sad and a little liberating. No longer did I have to go on dates and wonder if he could be the one, nor did I see weird yellow flags as setting a precedent that I should address. I went with whatever, so long as it didn't cross a hard line for me, and let the ridiculousness unfold. It was funny the bizarre things my dates would subject me to, and I considered it my duty to share it with the world, or at least document it for my future amusement, on this blog.

Then, the unexpected happened. I found a guy who wasn't ridiculous or bizarre. We had an instant mutual attraction and neither of us wasted a second dancing around our feelings towards one another. He seemed to be nearly perfect by my definition - tall, liked musicals, football, basketball and swing dancing - a rare combination. He often seemed to read my mind - mentioning his desire to go to massage school, for example - I had told my roommate I would love to find a guy who wanted to study massage, I'd pay for his schooling if it meant massages for life. I had some hesitations about him - I mean, I just recently given up on love - and I was worried he might fall harder for me than I for him, and I'd break his heart. But I rationalized that I had hesitated too often before, and the window of opportunity seemed to have passed, and I didn’t want to repeat that mistake. So we dove headfirst into a nearly 10 year relationship.

We had a very long, happy "honeymoon" phase - we rarely fought and we loved doing everything together all the time. We had amazing adventures and were the envy of our friends on facebook. As I met his family, they would always comment that they felt they knew me already from facebook. And the rest is history…

Fast forward to around 2021 - 2022. The relationship had soured. He said some things I could not get passed. I was frustrated with him. We still did fun things, but we were fighting a lot. It felt to me that he had become spoiled by my supporting him financially as he supported me in other ways through a number of geographic moves for my job. While I stand by my decision to do so, I think it changed our dynamic in his mind, and he became a different person. We tried addressing things, and he claimed to be committed to fixing what was broken, but now I see he was already too gone. A few specific incidents made it very apparent that we were not working, and I knew we had to end things.

With such a long time put into our relationship, I felt I owed it to him to end things amicably. That was I tried to do. To my surprise, 10 years of hate and bizarre accusations spewed out of him until I didn't ever want to see his face again. Cheating, really? He thought this was about me seeing someone else. But like Ingrid Andress' song, "I Think You're Seeing Someone Else", actually I was seeing someone else. I was holding onto the instant love and perfect chemistry of years ago. He had become someone different without my realizing it. Not better, like in the song. No, I had become more financially stable and more grounded, he seemed to have diverted and gone backwards. He was blaming me for him not finishing college or having a career, villainizing me with this made up affair he thought I had been having for 10 years, even bringing up my last boyfriend and accusing me of cheating on him, acting like I didn't make every geographic move with his concurrence, and on and on. I didn't know what to make of it at the time. Later, when I found his OnlyFans subscriptions, things started to click that he was projecting his guilt onto me and hoping I was cheating. Then I did what should have been a bad idea - looked through old videos and photos of us when we were happy early on - and it ended up being quite therapeutic because he was unrecognizable in those photos and videos. It made me realize I had not been dating the same guy for the last 9+ years. I was dating a great love, and more recently, I was dating a self-righteous fixed mindset monster. The man I fell in love with had died years ago, I'm not sure when, but he was no longer there.

That was in January, and as you can imagine, it's taken a minute to process all of this. I didn't process it all well, either. Shortly before Valentine's I read about a zoo that would, for a charitable donation, name a cockroach or a rat after your ex- and then feed it to the animals. I splurged for the video package and wrote a script that cut to the core of the idiocy that was the end of our relationship. Hey, it was for charity, right?

That's not to say I've been wallowing in sorrow since January. I've just not sat myself down and done a lot of self-reflecting. Instead, I've kept myself crazy busy. I volunteered at the Antelope Valley Poppy Reserve as a docent and did regular trail watch to keep people off the poppies and educate them on the different types of flowers and wildlife (which I had to learn about myself). It was a great way to get my butt out of the house and hike many miles. I also volunteered for the Aerospace
Robotics Competition as a mentor to a high school team again. I started swing dancing again, practicing at home and going to Pasadena for the dances. I've been doing some home renovation stuff. And traveling - I went to Arizona for the Purple Stride and swing danced out there on my home turf. I cut and donated my hair. And seeking, interviewing for, and securing a new job (still at the same company). Yep, I've kept myself busy, but that’s not all I've been up to…

Dating - so many dates. I wasn't going to do the dating app thing, I was going to find comfort in doing my own thing and allow for the potential for something spontaneous to happen. But one weak moment one lonely evening and I had a full profile, and then the guys started pouring in.

And so, my blog is nearly ready to return to its original glory, talking about all the craziness of dating life. But it's already May!! I have so much to catch up on.

I was first excited about Nick - an Aussie who loved D&D. I wasn't so sure I'd be attracted to him based on his profile pictures, but when I met him, instant attraction. Not to mention we had had great conversation for weeks leading up to the first date. He broke it off a few days after, to my great disappointment. I know it was short and I shouldn’t have been upset, but I really liked him.

Then there was Cole, we talked a ton on the phone and texted a lot and then he ghosted me for a while. We never met but still message from time to time. Weird, right?

Jimmy - the jerk - stood me up. We chatted and then made arrangements for a date and he texted me about it that day, and that he was on his way, and all the way to the point of, "I'm in the parking lot," and then never showed. Why are people so cruel? I ate a disappointing dinner by myself that night.

Francisco works at Virgin Galactic (one of the common themes dating in this area is lots of engineers in my field, gotta be careful, I've found coworkers and stuff already)… He claimed he didn't want a hook up but he ghosted me after our first date so I'm going to go ahead and call him a big fat liar.

Then there was Dani, who used the sweetest words in his texts to me, calling me Queen and the like. The texting made more sense when I met him and realized he was not an native English speaker. We went on a few dates and I learned he was Iranian but trying to make it as an engineer in my field - and struggling because he is unable to give up his Iranian citizenship but that is preventing him from getting certain accesses. One night we had a discussion that felt too much like I was dating one of my (bad) employees and I decided it wasn't for me so I called it off. 

Dreamy Jay as I called him seemed very hook-up oriented but he was so good looking in his pictures I was willing to risk it. We talked for weeks and made tentative plans several times that never worked out, and it just sort of drifted off until he created a new profile and came up in my recommendations, but he had changed his name and used different pics so I wasn't sure - I liked him and then he confirmed he was the same guy. Goof. 

There was a doctor named Nick who I met once, and without either of us saying anything, we mutually stopped talking after that. The chemistry was just not there. 

I met KoiGoi against my better judgment, and was instantly happily surprised by how attracted I was when he walked in, but the conversation was terrible and I ended things after. But because I was attracted to his height, I temporarily started filtering on height to find other tall guys.

My tall filter caught 6'4" Aaron. He was so weirdly bad at communicating, I tried so hard with him and I don’t know why. I guess I was attracted to him and he wasn't in my industry so there's that. We went on a few dates and then he disappeared for several weeks and acted like it wasn't a big deal when he did start responding again. I may have acted out to cause a little drama and he freaked out and ended things, which was a huge overreaction in my opinion but probably good to fail fast in that case.

Then there was 6'5" Brandon, super sweet via text but horribly awkward in person. It was not going to work with him, but I went on a couple dates to try and he disappeared, probably for the better also. 

My filter also got me 6'8" Jesse, with whom I've tried to connect in person several times and it keeps not working out. He's a fitness trainer but works like four other jobs and is just too busy probably to date someone like me. But I'd still like to meet him in person, because, I mean, 6'8"! 

While seeing those rando's throughout and talking to several others that never really went anywhere, there have been four guys - yes, four - who I've seen more consistently and hopefully. Two of them are named Kevin, just to make things confusing, so I call them Kevin 1 and Kevin 2, and then there's Andrew who also can be confusing as he shares the name of my best local friend, and then there's Justin from Hollywood.

My first date with Kevin 1 was fun and cute - we went to a taco food truck - his idea, and he ordered for us in Spanish which I found weirdly attractive. As we were eating, the spice was obviously getting to him and he looked over to me and asked, "You're pretty good with spice, huh?" And I had to think for a moment to even register that the tacos had a kick to them. Meanwhile he was drenched in sweat and his nose was running. I thought that was funny. My  friend Andrew and I were supposed to go to a show at the Griffith Observatory, and at the last minute he realized he had made plans with a woman he was seeing. I told him I'd see if I could get Kevin 1 to go with me and he agreed. I liked that he was willing to be a little spontaneous and do something completely out of the norm for him. He was the perfect date, we took selfies and fun pictures and he was just sweet and all about me the whole time. I loved how he touched me in public, not too sensual but enough for me to feel like I was his. There was a lot of promise early on, but then he had a lot of drama in his personal life and I didn't get to see him for 6+ weeks, and we got angry with each other. We reconciled a couple weeks later, and have gone out a few times since. Of all the guys I'm seeing right now, he's the one I have the most feelings for and most hope for, but there's that lingering drama that threatens it. We're planning a weekend getaway to Las Vegas in June. I may or may not have bought a $1000 bottle of tequila he wanted. What is wrong with me?

Dating Kevin 2 is wild. I thought he was pretty innocent and over-achiever, goody-two-shoes type, but once he let down his guard I found a very emo, anti-establishment, anti-everything, party animal. It first came out on St Patrick's Day with Andrew and his woman friend, and got really ugly the next day at the zoo when he said all these animals should kill themselves rather than be locked up for people to look at them. I told him that day that I was never going to take him out anywhere again, and he apologized, but I've held true to that. I still spend time with him in private, but I don't really see it going anywhere. He's great to cuddle up for a movie though.

Andrew just completed his third marathon, has a cute dog and a busted truck. He works for his grandma as an accountant. He's usually down for anything I suggest, but his personal life drama prevents him sometimes. I think early on he was intimidated by my profession and was trying to impress me, and since then he's calmed down and our conversations flow really well.

If anyone accused me of having a type, Justin would break that mold. He's the epitome of Hollywood, but we have a great time when we're together even though we have almost nothing in common. He calls me "boo" and we just really click. The distance makes it hard to see each other regularly, but we make it work from time to time.

So I think that kind of catches us up. I still can't believe it's May already. I start my new job in a couple weeks, although truth be told my new manager is sucking me in as fast as he can. I'm so completely sad to be leaving my team. I wasn't going to accept the job because of them. It was a surprise to me, when I tried to write my decline letter, I talked myself into accepting because the new manager has done so much to make me feel valued, and my current manager and director were so luke warm about losing me. I didn't think being valued mattered that much to me, until it was clear.

Besides my very busy dating life, I've mostly been trying to live up to my four principles for 2023, which I've summed up on my letterboard as: live intentionally, (re-)connect deeply, get outdoors and 'into' space, and create ease. It's been an adjustment to be single again, but I know its for the best - he made it very easy to not have second thoughts - and I'm just figuring out how to find myself again.

Looking to 2023: Life, Nature, Celebration, Empowerment

It has been a few years since I've set real New Year's Resolutions; in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are just trying focused on survival, making it through, looking forward to an uncertain unknown when maybe life will be better again. The pandemic isn't really over, but we're kind of over it, and the world has almost returned to some semblance of normal, if not a modified new normal which is much of the old but with scars and small reminders of the virus. Instead of resolutions, which so often go uncompleted or forgotten, themes and direction are often more lasting. I often take inspiration from Pantone's announcement of the new Color of the Year, with Pantone's vivid and almost anamorphic descriptions of a (usually) singular color answering the question, what does the world need right now? 

2023's Color of the Year is Viva Magenta, which has even in the name a mantra of life and celebration. Pantone's description of it as the choice for 2023 includes words and notions such as "rooted in nature", "a new signal of strength", "pure joy" and "experimentation and self-expression without restraint," rebellious and audacious. Right now, I feel almost none of those things, and so it’s like the color is calling to me to demand more of my self, my life, my abilities and my vision. 

One very compelling line from Pantone is, "In this age of technology, we look to draw inspiration from nature and what is real." I recently saw on Twitter a prompt asking what the most impactful technology was in 2022, and I without even looking at the responses, I considered it for a moment and was certain that 2022 was the year of Artificial Intelligence. AI has made some really interesting leaps this year; I've seen the impacts at my work, played around with novel AI apps and read some fascinating stories about AI advancements. In a job market where it seems like there just aren't enough interested and qualified workers to do the work, one must at some point consider how we utilize our current knowledge workers to do more, and telling them to work harder is simply not an option, so amending their abilities with technology like AI seems like the only path forward.

Yet, as Pantone reminds us, we want to live in the real world. Technology like AR and the metaverse has not (yet) absorbed us into its hold in a semi-permanent obsessive state, and we're already seeing the seeds of people wanting more, wanting reality, wanting nature, not tech, to absorb them. 

The theme of empowerment speaks both to the amazing technologies now at our fingertips and the sense of choice people have discovered through the pandemic - having had too much time perhaps to consider what it is we really want in life and adjusting values accordingly, make it difficult, especially in the workplace, to return to what once was normal. Yet that empowerment seems to be tinged with a sense of unknowing - we can make our own choices but what if we're wrong? And I think the inspiration of returning to nature provides the safety net we need to move forward despite the self-doubt. Indeed, the closing line of Pantone's description is that the color, "invoking the forces of nature… galvanizes our spirit, helping us to build our inner strength." 

Taking my queues from the colorful description of an otherwise medium-dark red, and my own observations and desires, I wonder aloud here what I should strive for in 2023. Rather than a list of things to do or end goals to achieve, I have described here themes to work on with some specific ideas on how to feel I've grown in those areas.

Life: Be an active participant

I feel like I've struggled recently with how my life has been going, and the last couple years has felt like my hands aren't on the steering wheel. Circumstances have led to the feeling of being defeated, like things aren't in my control, and I lack the willpower to change things or to fight for what I want. It requires much less resistance to go with the flow and let things happen to me. I remember being so motivated, intentional, ambitious and active in my 20s and I think the thing that scared me the most about my  30s was that I could never be that good again. And perhaps I let that fear become my reality instead of fighting against that notion and raising the bar for myself. Rather than be a passive observer of my life passing before me, there are a few things I need to be more intentional about, and I need to get over myself and my desire for motivation in order to do those things. I feel like I lack purpose, but celebrating life should be purpose enough, and especially rebounding from the pandemic, having a home I feel comfortable in and a job which allows work/life balance, perhaps this is the perfect time to take back my life's direction. 

• Buy my land
• Increase discipline in health routines
• Have a mindfulness weekend retreat
• Do that regularly
• Have a blog-a-thon to write about topics already started
• Book/plan vacation
• Complete >1 from room renovation 
  

 

Nature: Go deeper into outer space 

Space has always been a very casual interest for me, and I've been blessed with many opportunities to explore it in depth which I may not have taken full advantage of in hindsight. I'd like to take a more active interest and utilize the local Griffith Observatory as a support mechanism to do so. Starting with, first and foremost, making an effort to watch the monthly virtual program and an initial visit to the observatory to take in the museum and telescope usage. Ironically, this idea came to me when I asked an AI chatbot, ChatGPT, to create a Los Angeles bucket list. Or perhaps it is not ironic, but compelling, that AI can amend our knowledge of the world around us and the immediate things to empower us to be better versions of ourselves. 

• Listen to Planetary Radio podcast when available
• Watch All Space Considered monthly
• Visit the Griffith Observatory

Celebration: Re-build the lost connections

When I think of celebrating, I think of being around people, and that is another thing the pandemic took from us. Technology, especially social media, hinted at

bringing us closer together while they somehow isolated us more, and I have a strong desire to reconnect with people on a human level, even if I don't quite know how. There are so many wonderful people I've had in my life who may have become relegated to being facebook friends and not much else, and I want to try to re-build those even if it means facing a lot of potential rejection. As joked about recently, it can't be Christmas every day, we have to have the lows in order to celebrate the highs, and I want to bring those highs back. I also want to recoup the connection to writing, journaling and capturing my own life, work and dreams. 

• Start daily journal even if 3-sentence recap
• Plan for and stay on top of sending birthday, anniversary, holiday cards
• Seek advice and ask curious questions of people in my life

Empowerment: Create (and use) the tools to get out of my own way

I recently reviewed the ideas from Bill Gates' "The Road Ahead" from 1995, when the Internet was still a fledgling place for researchers and scientists and "The Information Superhighway" carried promise which has largely been fulfilled in ways

any futurist struggled to foresee. It reminded me of how far we've come, but also, what elements have yet to really come to fruition as predicted. I think the technology is here, but we have to figure out how best to use it. Truly, that has been a philosophy of mine for years, and only becomes truer with more technological advances. The better tech we have in our palms, the harder it is to discern between the best ways to use it and the easiest ways to use it, the latter of which is a trap, what many books and articles are warning us against. While Viva Magenta is a lot about getting back to nature and drawing inspiration from nature, I think it also is about carving our path in this world of technology, which is to say that it doesn't have to work against us but in fact can aide us in our desire to connect with nature and being our best in our own nature. That is what futurists envisioned as these new technologies emerged, and that is for us individually to choose with intention on when and how technology serves us. 

• Auto-add/update calendar with activities of interest
• Utilize AI and scripting to hone trends and market gaps
• 3D print some useful items
• Invest in architecture software and education, and design home of the future
• Influence recruiting at work via communications team - consider TikTok channel
• Develop better graphics and display for my Show Mode

I hope you find some inspiration, or considerations, for the coming year. With all the hopes and aspirations, be kind to yourself, be generous with others, and make 2023 a great year in your own way!

Ringing in 2022 - Resolutions in the Pandemic

I usually start all New Year's posts with a reflection on accomplishments for the last year, and general status of my well-being. But it's no secret that 2021 kind of stunk, and much of 2020 was about the same. Nearing two years in a pandemic means we've missed out on some really big Bucket List / Life List achievements, we're limiting travel and get-togethers, and we're meeting more virtually than in person at work. For an extreme extrovert, it's been rough. And despite some positives like my new 4/10 schedule, I'm not healthier or more productive in my personal life than usual. I'm tired and anxious and bored and stifled. 2021 will be the first year since I started my Life List in which I didn't complete at least two things off my list. One of those items was literally cancelled because of COVID-19. So, while I'm usually the eternal optimist, I'm coming into 2022 a little defeated.

 

Not all is bad, as my 2021 photographic recap indicates. 

 

In January, I treated Jaiman to a falconry experience for his birthday that was pretty neat. Then the San Diego Zoo re-opened and we were there 45 minutes after little Eleonor the giraffe was born, kicking off one of my favorite things to do - visiting and walking around the huge local zoo. 

 

In February, I went to the zoo a lot, and with the mask mandate in place, I got a cute giraffe mask! 

 

In March, we fed the giraffes at the zoo, and my friend Laura visited from Phoenix. We then found out that we wouldn't be going to Japan for the Olympics due to COVID, so we went to the Japanese Friendship Garden at Balboa Park as a tiny consolation. 

 

In April, we went to Yosemite and Disneyland, and in a little bit of foreshadowing, I visited the Air & Space Museum in Balboa Park and took a picture by an old Skunk Works airplane part. 

 

In May, Danielle and William came to visit and we went to multiple museums and the zoo, as well as fun places to eat and drink. We also went to Las Vegas and ate at Hell's Kitchen. 

 

In June, my sister Linda and her family visited, and we rented a boat and explored Coronado Island with them. We househunted in Palmdale and visited Sea World, and had countless farewell dinners with colleagues and team members as I departed GKN. Then I started my new job at Skunk Works. 

 

In July, we checked off Life List #11 by renting a tandem bicycle back in San Diego and rode that around for the Fourth of July weekend. Then we went back to Phoenix to celebrate Grandma Clote's birthday and see Jaiman's family. Jaiman's cousin Brittney and her sister came to Six Flags with us. 

 

In August, we went out with my colleague, Andrew, and his girlfriend, and visited Tucson to see my family for Dad's birthday. We got the keys to our new house in Palmdale, and started working on it right away. 

 

In September, we went to a show at Hollywood Bowl and got great tickets for Hamilton at the beautiful Pantages Theater. 

 

In October, I took a business trip to Marietta, GA to meet with some of my employees and colleagues. We also went to a local arts festival with Andrew and Tiffany and went to an Air Show in LA to see (and hear) F-35's among other great showings. My sister, Christy, and her friends came to visit and board their cruise, and we showed them around Rodeo Drive and went to an NBA game. 

 

We started November with a Lego Brick Fest and then traveled to Orlando for IAAPA and Universal Nights, then onto Raleigh to celebrate Thanksgiving with Christy and Matthew. 

 

In December, Andrew, Tiffany, Jaiman and I went to the California Science Center to catch the Lego exhibit before it left. Dinner with my boss and Andrew ended our short business relationship, as my boss is retiring. My parents came to visit for Christmas, and we hiked around the Vasquez Rocks. 

 

 

 

 

 

2021 by the numbers:

1 Life List Achievement Completed for Me 

(Tandem bicycle ride)

1 Life List Achievement Completed for Jaiman 

(IAPPA)

3 California Bucket List Achievements Completed 

(Yosemite, California Science Center, Vasquez Rocks)

7 Theme Parks Visited 

(Sea World, Six Flags, Busch Gardens, Discovery Cove, Universal Orlando, Disneyland, DCA)

8 Museums Visited 

(Balboa Park: Model Train Museum, Art Museum, Automotive Museum, Air & Space Museum, Museum of Us, Museum of Natural History; California Science Center, Blackbird Air Park)

12 New Roller Coasters

(Air Grover, Cobra's Curse, Kumba, Montu, Scorpion, SheiKra, Tigris, Velocicoaster, Manta, Electric Eel, West Coast Racers)

43 Roller Coaster Rides Total

 

31 Books Read

(See list on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/year_in_books/2021/50404019) 

 

All in all, I guess it's not been terrible. Nevertheless, I am hoping for 2022 to be an improvement over the last ~two years.

 

Here are the things I want to work on in 2022 (dare I say, Resolutions):

• Improve my Vocabulary and Professional "Polish"
  
• Double savings (and manage investments to minimize potential losses if stocks go south)
• Work on "Smart" innovations / automation
• Complete at least 3 Life List items 
• Could include:
• Recumbent bike
• Penny farthing bike
• Golf in Cabo
• Press grapes
• Ice skate in snow
• Be an extra in a movie
• Send in a Postsecret
• Drive a race car
• Ski in Colorado
• Learn to use a slide rule
• Underwater hotel
• Eat at a Winger's
• Complete some "moderate"-level home improvement projects
• Such as:
• Staircase railing / front room - paint
• Downstairs full bath – wallpaper and replace light
• Laundry room – wallpaper
• Dining room – paint and replace light
• Craft room – Paint and organize
• Office area – Organize and fix up cabinets
  

 

 

What are you hoping to do in 2022? Given the pandemic, I suspect resolutions will look a little different this year. Maybe you want to reconnect with family or friends, or get engaged with charity or mentoring. Maybe you want to get your home office organized with a refreshed style. Maybe you want to try something new, cook a new dish or try a new art form, take an online dance class or study a language. I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!