Looking to 2023: Life, Nature, Celebration, Empowerment

It has been a few years since I've set real New Year's Resolutions; in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us are just trying focused on survival, making it through, looking forward to an uncertain unknown when maybe life will be better again. The pandemic isn't really over, but we're kind of over it, and the world has almost returned to some semblance of normal, if not a modified new normal which is much of the old but with scars and small reminders of the virus. Instead of resolutions, which so often go uncompleted or forgotten, themes and direction are often more lasting. I often take inspiration from Pantone's announcement of the new Color of the Year, with Pantone's vivid and almost anamorphic descriptions of a (usually) singular color answering the question, what does the world need right now? 

2023's Color of the Year is Viva Magenta, which has even in the name a mantra of life and celebration. Pantone's description of it as the choice for 2023 includes words and notions such as "rooted in nature", "a new signal of strength", "pure joy" and "experimentation and self-expression without restraint," rebellious and audacious. Right now, I feel almost none of those things, and so it’s like the color is calling to me to demand more of my self, my life, my abilities and my vision. 

One very compelling line from Pantone is, "In this age of technology, we look to draw inspiration from nature and what is real." I recently saw on Twitter a prompt asking what the most impactful technology was in 2022, and I without even looking at the responses, I considered it for a moment and was certain that 2022 was the year of Artificial Intelligence. AI has made some really interesting leaps this year; I've seen the impacts at my work, played around with novel AI apps and read some fascinating stories about AI advancements. In a job market where it seems like there just aren't enough interested and qualified workers to do the work, one must at some point consider how we utilize our current knowledge workers to do more, and telling them to work harder is simply not an option, so amending their abilities with technology like AI seems like the only path forward.

Yet, as Pantone reminds us, we want to live in the real world. Technology like AR and the metaverse has not (yet) absorbed us into its hold in a semi-permanent obsessive state, and we're already seeing the seeds of people wanting more, wanting reality, wanting nature, not tech, to absorb them. 

The theme of empowerment speaks both to the amazing technologies now at our fingertips and the sense of choice people have discovered through the pandemic - having had too much time perhaps to consider what it is we really want in life and adjusting values accordingly, make it difficult, especially in the workplace, to return to what once was normal. Yet that empowerment seems to be tinged with a sense of unknowing - we can make our own choices but what if we're wrong? And I think the inspiration of returning to nature provides the safety net we need to move forward despite the self-doubt. Indeed, the closing line of Pantone's description is that the color, "invoking the forces of nature… galvanizes our spirit, helping us to build our inner strength." 

Taking my queues from the colorful description of an otherwise medium-dark red, and my own observations and desires, I wonder aloud here what I should strive for in 2023. Rather than a list of things to do or end goals to achieve, I have described here themes to work on with some specific ideas on how to feel I've grown in those areas.

Life: Be an active participant

I feel like I've struggled recently with how my life has been going, and the last couple years has felt like my hands aren't on the steering wheel. Circumstances have led to the feeling of being defeated, like things aren't in my control, and I lack the willpower to change things or to fight for what I want. It requires much less resistance to go with the flow and let things happen to me. I remember being so motivated, intentional, ambitious and active in my 20s and I think the thing that scared me the most about my  30s was that I could never be that good again. And perhaps I let that fear become my reality instead of fighting against that notion and raising the bar for myself. Rather than be a passive observer of my life passing before me, there are a few things I need to be more intentional about, and I need to get over myself and my desire for motivation in order to do those things. I feel like I lack purpose, but celebrating life should be purpose enough, and especially rebounding from the pandemic, having a home I feel comfortable in and a job which allows work/life balance, perhaps this is the perfect time to take back my life's direction. 

• Buy my land
• Increase discipline in health routines
• Have a mindfulness weekend retreat
• Do that regularly
• Have a blog-a-thon to write about topics already started
• Book/plan vacation
• Complete >1 from room renovation 
  

 

Nature: Go deeper into outer space 

Space has always been a very casual interest for me, and I've been blessed with many opportunities to explore it in depth which I may not have taken full advantage of in hindsight. I'd like to take a more active interest and utilize the local Griffith Observatory as a support mechanism to do so. Starting with, first and foremost, making an effort to watch the monthly virtual program and an initial visit to the observatory to take in the museum and telescope usage. Ironically, this idea came to me when I asked an AI chatbot, ChatGPT, to create a Los Angeles bucket list. Or perhaps it is not ironic, but compelling, that AI can amend our knowledge of the world around us and the immediate things to empower us to be better versions of ourselves. 

• Listen to Planetary Radio podcast when available
• Watch All Space Considered monthly
• Visit the Griffith Observatory

Celebration: Re-build the lost connections

When I think of celebrating, I think of being around people, and that is another thing the pandemic took from us. Technology, especially social media, hinted at

bringing us closer together while they somehow isolated us more, and I have a strong desire to reconnect with people on a human level, even if I don't quite know how. There are so many wonderful people I've had in my life who may have become relegated to being facebook friends and not much else, and I want to try to re-build those even if it means facing a lot of potential rejection. As joked about recently, it can't be Christmas every day, we have to have the lows in order to celebrate the highs, and I want to bring those highs back. I also want to recoup the connection to writing, journaling and capturing my own life, work and dreams. 

• Start daily journal even if 3-sentence recap
• Plan for and stay on top of sending birthday, anniversary, holiday cards
• Seek advice and ask curious questions of people in my life

Empowerment: Create (and use) the tools to get out of my own way

I recently reviewed the ideas from Bill Gates' "The Road Ahead" from 1995, when the Internet was still a fledgling place for researchers and scientists and "The Information Superhighway" carried promise which has largely been fulfilled in ways

any futurist struggled to foresee. It reminded me of how far we've come, but also, what elements have yet to really come to fruition as predicted. I think the technology is here, but we have to figure out how best to use it. Truly, that has been a philosophy of mine for years, and only becomes truer with more technological advances. The better tech we have in our palms, the harder it is to discern between the best ways to use it and the easiest ways to use it, the latter of which is a trap, what many books and articles are warning us against. While Viva Magenta is a lot about getting back to nature and drawing inspiration from nature, I think it also is about carving our path in this world of technology, which is to say that it doesn't have to work against us but in fact can aide us in our desire to connect with nature and being our best in our own nature. That is what futurists envisioned as these new technologies emerged, and that is for us individually to choose with intention on when and how technology serves us. 

• Auto-add/update calendar with activities of interest
• Utilize AI and scripting to hone trends and market gaps
• 3D print some useful items
• Invest in architecture software and education, and design home of the future
• Influence recruiting at work via communications team - consider TikTok channel
• Develop better graphics and display for my Show Mode

I hope you find some inspiration, or considerations, for the coming year. With all the hopes and aspirations, be kind to yourself, be generous with others, and make 2023 a great year in your own way!

Re-dream: 2016 Resolutions

I am listening to an audio book in which a fortune teller tells the main character, "When your dreams all come true, you must re-dream."  She went on to say that you can't live in the past or settle for being content.  You need something to work towards, a new dream of what your life can be.  I can't think of a more appropriate way for me to look forward to the new year and 4 - 5 year outlook than that. 

I sometimes have anxiety over setting goals and making resolutions, because I am so ambitious that I want to set lofty goals, and then I am hard on myself when I fail to achieve those goals in the given amount of time.  But coming out of 2015, I have a renewed energy, because perhaps for the first time in my life, I kept all of my New Year's Resolutions.  In 2014 I accomplished most of my resolutions, with the exception of leaving the country, and getting down to a size 10.  In 2013, my resolutions were pretty much just whack-a-doodle, and in 2012 I had far too many and clearly lost focus.  I set 8 resolutions in 2011 and accomplished none of them.  From this trend, I suppose one could deduce that I have either gotten better about keeping my resolutions, or setting better ones.  The weight goal is always tricky; its the most common resolution and perhaps the hardest one to keep.  Many of my resolutions are fairly finite: do this one thing and it's complete.  But getting down to a certain size or weight takes continued, renewed effort, and can be un-checked faster than it can be checked.  I didn't set one last year, and if I had, I most certainly would have failed it as I am about the same size and shape as I was a year ago.  So, I am very cautious to set such a goal, but part of me wants to.  Hey, if I was able to commit and accomplish the 8 goals I set in 2015, why not? 

Well, there's the catch.  I didn't do a great job of accomplishing all of my New Year's resolutions last year.  Some of them were barely checking the box.  Part of me wants to believe that if I set goals and resolutions that encourage me to be healthier, like working out every day or make good choices in food, that the weight loss will come.  Part of me thinks that I will get to a point where I've decided it can't be done, and will give up and feel defeated.  Part of me thinks that my other goals run contrary to weight loss - like learning programming. 

The truth is that, despite my success (or maybe just luck) in 2015, I am not really sure how to set goals that I will commit to and achieve.  Sure, we've all heard of the SMART goals, Specific, Measurable, Achievable, blah blah blah.  But I am not convinced those work.  Same with vision boards, where you are supposed to choose images that inspire you and hang them where you will see them every day.  I've had inspirational quotes around my house for years, and they've done nothing to stir my energy.  Accountability partners have failed me too.  And more importantly, I think we should be able to keep ourselves accountable.  We should be able to set out to achieve something, and then achieve it.  A year is a long time.  In fact, we have a little more time in 2016, with it being Leap Year.  I should be able to accomplish just about anything in a year.  But, losing weight won't happen on its own just by setting a goal or sitting down one night to knock it out.  I think to lose weight, you have to set smaller goals.  Eat a salad twice a week.  Work out four times per week.  Walk 10,000 steps a day.  Something that you can strive for in a much shorter term. 

My other problem is that I like variety.  I thrive on it.  Sometimes it bothers me that I lack focus; I don't have that one burning passion in my soul that I would quit my job for and work at day and night.  But I think I've just about decided that that's just me, and that's okay.  So, I'm not going to say that I'm going to write every day of 2016.  Hell, I didn't write at all yesterday, so that boat has already sunk anyways.  In September, I wrote a blog about "A Kinda Really Sorta Perfect Day," in which things didn't really go my way and I wasn't perfect, but I persevered and got things done.  Since then, I've been tinkering with the idea of what makes a "good" day or a "perfect" day.  What I've come up with in the last several weeks is a better formula for success for people like me.  Rather than a strict checklist of things to do every day or every week, I have developed a buffet of sorts.  Here's how it works: I've grouped activities into 6 areas of life.  Each area is something we can all probably improve on.  A good day is completing 3 of those activities, covering at least 2 of the areas.  A perfect day is completing 6 or more of those activities, with at least one in every area. 

Something for the mind:

• Practice a language
• Read / listen to an audiobook
• Take a lesson in programming
• Do coursework
• Take a quiet, hot bath; breathe and let your mind rest

Something for the body:

• Stretch
• Dance
• Go for a run / walk
• Hike
• Ab workout
• Lift weights
• Thighmaster
• Other form of exercise

Something for the soul:

• Write
• Cook a new or tricky dish
• Build a Lego model or Lego sculpture
• Design something
• Paint
• Craft
• Create something else

Something for the heart:

• Pay a colleague a sincere compliment
• Have a real conversation with someone
• Call a friend or family member on the phone
• Have lunch, dinner or drinks with someone
• Send a card or letter (via real snail mail)
• Volunteer or do charity work
• Help a stranger with something

Something for the wallet:

• Apply for a job
• Schedule / post on social media for business
• Eat in
• Create a graphic, blog or tool for business

Something practical:

• Empty dishwasher / load and start dishwasher
• Take trash out / take recycling out
• Do laundry
• Clean the bathroom / kitchen
• Get oil change / tire rotation
• Pull weeds
• Other chore

So now, I've made one of my resolutions to have 366 "good" days. In theory, this means that most days I will be doing something good for my body, and the days I'm not doing good for my body, I am doing good for my mind, heart and soul, which are ultimately good holistically anyways.  Also, I believe firmly in making good habits by doing something consistently for a number of days.  I've heard both 21 and 90 days, so I like how this graphic puts it: It takes 21 days to create a habit, it takes 90 days to create a lifestyle.  Imagine what would happen if you succeed in being "good" for 366 days! 

The first resolution I made was around learning programming.  I know a bit of HTML, and I regularly program in VB for work.  But I do not consider myself a good programmer, or really a programmer at all.  It's like how most people know how to write, but that doesn't make them writers; I know how to program, but I am not a programmer.  I have a lot of entrepreneurial ambition that is wasted week after week and month after month because my lack of programming skill prevents me from doing the things that require programming.  I dream of collaborating with a talented, brilliant programmer and partnering with him or her to create this massively successful company.  The problem with that dream is that most programmers are in so high demand they are not really willing to work with a business person like me on my idea, and if they were willing to work on such an idea, they would just as soon start their own company without said business person.  I preach that programming is such a powerful tool that I believe everyone should learn it to a degree, so I've had to swallow the pill that I, too, could use some work developing my skills.  

I have an idea for a better social media management tool that I've been toying

with, and of all my brilliant ideas, this is the one I'm most sold on at the moment.  Of course, a competitor could sweep in and build it before I even learn to program, but that's the risk I suppose I have to take.  And, learning programming will only help me with my next brilliant idea, if that happens.  So after a bit of research, I've settled on HTML, CSS and the Twitter API as my focus for this year, and I'm going to use Codecademy.  It shouldn't take a year to get pretty good at those things, especially because I already know some HTML and CSS, but I want to keep my scope small and get really good at them.  If I am successful, I can then start programming my dreams, and can learn new languages as needed in the coming years.

I won't go into detail now about my motivation for the rest of my resolutions.  I am excited, though, that if I am as successful in 2016 at checking off these boxes as I was in 2015, that great things will happen.  So, with that, here they are.

New Year's Resolutions for 2016

• Learn HTML & CSS & Twitter API
• Spend a Weekend Disconnected
• Design & 3D print something
• Make a video with Jaiman - performing music, dancing, audition for a reality show or something silly
• Improve my home in some way
• Learn Thriller choreography
• Have 366 "Good" Days

These aren't terribly ambitious for a 366-day year (except making a video with Jaiman, that will take some effort since he is SO camera shy).  They are vague enough that if something specific doesn't happen, I can still check off the boxes, but they are specific enough that I will know when I've accomplished them.  Maybe that is the trick to setting goals, being just specific enough. 

If I've inspired you to make your own New Year's Resolutions, please comment below and let me know!  Also, check out my post from last year, where I provide ideas for tangible, achievable resolutions ideas. 

I Could Have Fallen in Love

Shortly after my most recent break up, which feels like a long time ago now, I was single and looking for how I would start my new year with a fresh start.  Here's the story I wrote on New Year's.

New Year's Eve had so much potential to suck, and it ended up going in the completely opposite direction. I don't think I could have planned a better evening. Monkey and I were just going to go to dinner, and I was preparing myself to take a bath and call it a night early. He came and picked me up and we went to Freddy's. We talked and talked and talked, and it turned out he didn't necessarily have to work that night, he just had to have something done before 7 am. We talked about getting beer from my place and going to his place so he could do his work, but we ended up just going to a bar. It was really early, but we started drinking. The bar filled up gradually, and we just sat and drank and talked. 

There are times that Monkey bores me to death and I can barely stand to be with him, last night was not one of those nights. He was making me laugh, and we talked about some of the funny drama and silly memories we've shared. We talked about doing a ski trip, learning to surf in San Diego, and getting a bunch of people together to go to Vegas again. I love planning events, so it just made me so happy to feel inspired and see Monkey's enthusiasm. He was also very generous, buying all my drinks and refusing to let me pay. We got a bottle of champagne and I shared it with some rando's near us. 

He kissed me for New Year's, and we drank our champagne. The night could have ended there and it would have been amazing. But Monkey randomly decided we should go dancing, so we went over to the dance floor and danced a little. He got kicked off the dance floor because he had a drink, even though there were women on the dance floor with drinks in their hands. It was so dumb, and we were just laughing about it. We decided to take a cab back to my place and leave his car there. I was really drunk and tired at this point, so we went to bed.  

When we woke up early the next morning, I drove him back to his car so he could go home. Everything about the night was perfect, and I will never forget it. Today's hang over might be the best hang over ever, because I know it was the result of someone caring about me and taking care of me when I was down. 

I won't say that he saved me or that I expect our relationship to become anything more than a friendship. It's just that after all the time I've spent being in limbo with my now ex-, and not being able to make plans, Monkey gave me reassurance that life goes on, not by saying it but by planning things with me. It made me feel worlds better about 2013 and about being single again.