Maps of Our Lives

Much of what I write are complex emotions, stories or ideas that aren't easily translated into visuals, but in my professional work, I advocate for the power of visual management and I realize it's something I do in my personal life as well sometimes. 

The first really cool map I made was for my epic road trip to visit theme parks and ride roller coasters and knock some fun things off my Life List. I even pre-planned my social media posts by creating multiple maps showing the progression of our trip along the way. I thought it was a fun way to keep my friends aware of our status, and could be especially helpful for the people who don't always see my posts and may get confused as to why I'm in Canada one day and in New Jersey the next. 

My first trip to the land down under had been planned for a decade before I actually got to go. The wait was well worth it, as we visited all but two of the Australian states and many Australian tourists we talked with on our various excursions were impressed that we were seeing more of their country than they had. While I accomplished just about everything on my Life List for Australia on that whirlwind of a trip, I fell in love with Australia, and have wanted to go back. 

I had the opportunity to go back twice in the last year, once for personal travel which included Tasmania, a state I hadn't yet been in, and once for work, which I extended into a personal vacation - partially to return to Tasmania in pursuit of the elusive and lesser-known Southern Lights, taking advantage of the timing of my work trip taking place in the winter. Many of my Australian colleagues have never been to Tasmania, and I've been twice! I highly recommend it, and my actions show! And since I didn't get a great Aurora Australis, I plan to go back and try again in the next solar cycle!

I did another fun map for a European vacation I went on with my sister, nephew, and boyfriend. I am admittedly bad at geography, so I think the map was five times as much for me as it was for anyone else, but I think everyone appreciated the visualization a little bit. Since we were doing a Disney cruise as a large part of the trip, I made Mickey ears for all of us with this map on the back of one of the ears, so we had the visual with us at all times (at least on the cruise). 

There had been a lot going on in my life at that time, as I had already interviewed for jobs in Dallas and Panama City, Florida. Knowing I'd be leaving Connecticut one way or another very soon, my parents came to visit shortly before the Europe vacation (my first time in Europe). So I held off on telling the facebook world we were moving until we returned, and were a week away. Hilariously, I used a map for that post also, captioning it with, "We're doing a thing next week." 

My ex- bought me a cool woodcut map of America with bottle cap-sized holes to put beer caps in it, intending to represent the beers from the different regions of the country. It was cool in theory, but in practice, most of my favorite beers were from a the southwest, and I had very few beers from other parts of the country. 

Today, I saw a silly post of a guy who lives in the UK who mapped out the furthest in each direction he had been, creating a little square around his hometown - he has not traveled far beyond Europe. While I was a little sad that he shared how little he's gotten out of that Euro bubble, I did like the idea, and was curious what my map would look like.

While technically the International Date Line should be the boundary of how far one could go west, I considered the direction of my travel. Going to Asia and Australia, I've flown west, not east. Thus, there's a box east of the European countries I've visited and west of the Asian countries which I can say I have not been in, and of course, I haven't been to the poles so there's a section of north and south which I haven't crossed into. 

I mapped the locations where I've lived, including my birthplace (green) and my current home (red), and the places I've visited that are those furthest points in each direction. To the north, the farthest I've gone is Fairbanks, Alaska, which I've gone to twice now, once with family to explore my Dad's birthplace, and once to chase the aurora. Tasmania wins the medal for being as far south as I've been. Going east, it was a close call between Italy and Poland, but Krakow wins (for now).

Of course, I could hardly stop there. I mapped out many of my favorite places I visited, and it is interesting to see those, too. Sort of like those maps with pins in them, except again I have a clustering issue which I think may be represented better with this digital visual. I've been to Japan multiple times, including studying abroad in Hiroshima, and have been to China twice, once for martial arts and once for my MBA, but the furthest west from the US was when I studied kung fu with the warrior monks at the Shaolin Temple in Zhangzou, China - which never gets old in how cool it is to say that. 

I took it just a little bit further, and put dream clouds to represent where I want to go in the near future. Based on this, I can see that my desire to go to Santorini, Greece will push my boundary a little further east from Krakow, Poland, which I visited just this year. Additionally, my desire to go to Vietnam and Thailand will push my westward travel point further.  Denmark and obviously the destinations in the continental US won't have any effect on my boundaries. Parts of New Zealand extend further south than my current southern-most point in Tasmania, but my current tentative plans don't include going that far south. I will, someday, try to visit Antarctica, which of course, will be the ultimate southern border push. As far as going further north, I think I'm good - no need to go further north than Fairbanks, although I wouldn't mind returning in another decade to see the Northern Lights again! 

Follow My Florida Dreamin'

There are a lot of reasons to write my blog. And there are a lot of reasons I tell myself for which I write my blog. In some cases, they may be wishes more than truths. One of the wishes is that I hope my readers will find inspiration in my ramblings; inspiration to pursue the best version of their lives. And I hope people will get enjoyment and laughter. I hope people will get insight into themselves by reflecting on what I'm going through. I document my life because I think it's interesting and funny and people used to tell me I should have a movie or sitcom about me. Most of my blog though, is truly self-serving. It's therapy for me, and I don't think anyone else actually reads it very often. But I enjoy going back and reading what happened in the past. I enjoy reflecting on who I was at the time that I wrote that and what I was thinking, what I was going through, how I thought my world would end or begin with whatever topic was on my mind. And it helps me be a little more centered and be a little bit more realistic that this too shall pass.

This post is one of the hopefully inspiring ones. I want to use my experience of absolute sheer joy, contendedness, and a snippit of living my best life to encourage people to follow their own version. Specifically, I want to inspire readers to follow the little dreams. This is not a post about the biggest, most important, exciting, wonderful thing I've ever done. This isn't a story of reckless abandon and a transformative new life. It's a story about a weekend. One that was dreamt up, thought about, planned (to an extent), and then executed. Simple as that. But the result, for me, has been a pure appreciation of life, and total and complete peace. It's little, but yet, so big. And I hope that you can find a way to translate that into your own life and do a little thing to follow your own little dream.

I decided a while back, that I wanted to eventually move back to Florida. I had lived in the panhandle - in Panama City Beach - for far too short of a time. Just a few months in, we were hit by Hurricane Michael and half the region was shut down for months; people lost some or everything. It was a very humbling experience to see both the genuine good of people and the absolute worst. I was sad that, just as it felt like we were finally rebuilding, my company decided to close that location and we had to lay off everybody that had moved there for the job and had invested so much into building the best organization I've ever had the privilege to take part in. I was absolutely devastated, and heartbroken, and it's one of the worst parts of my life that followed one of the best things in my career, which was setting up that site in the first place. Nevertheless, the panhandle wasn't really the right part of Florida for me. I always make the best of everything, but it felt more like Alabama South rather than the relaxing cultural retreat in which I'd see myself retire.

Since then I've done a lot of thinking about where I might want to end up and where I would want to retire. Living in Texas as affirmed that Texas is definitely it. I didn't realize how much I'd dislike it years ago when I thought about moving to Dallas for work to escape Connecticut, but now I know and it is what it is. The good thing about living in Fort Worth is that I still make a decent California salary but the cost of living is significantly lower, so I don't spend a lot of money. Thus, I have some money to invest, and to save, and to spend on vacations and fun stuff. So that's exactly what I'm doing. I've decided that the best way to get through the misery of living in Texas is to spend as much time as I can away from it. So if Texas isn't my forever home, then where? Living abroad intrigues me - Japan, Australia, Italy, Denmark, Costa Rica maybe. But there are also lots of challenges with leaving the US. And I just keep coming back to Florida. I love the ocean, I love the idea of being able to see launches into space, I enjoy the theme parks, and it's more achievable and financially feasible than living on the beach in California or Hawaii.

So I've been eyeing properties in Florida. Mostly empty vacant land that's buildable, with the hopes that someday I could invest and hold on to that land. And then, when I am getting closer to either moving there or retiring, I could build my dream house on that property. One of the things that's tough about buying land is that looking at it on the website really doesn't give you much context. The land listing's pictures can seem redundant; you're looking at the same wooded areas over and over. One can map out the distance to common establishments like Target or Taco Bell to get a feel for how remote a property is, or to the nearest beach. But that just becomes a distance, a number, and trying to develop a formula to tell you whether it's worth it or not has proven fruitless for me. Even with Google Street view, it's hard to get the vibe of a place.  So I decided to pick a weekend and fly out to Florida, base myself in the Orlando area and just go explore and see what I could see. I wasn't necessarily looking to actually buy property while in Florida; I primarily wanted to scope out all the different areas so that I have a better feel for what I'm looking at when I'm looking at property online.

Being a savvy traveler, and also a frequent traveler, I was able to book my hotel with points and chose the cheapest one because proximity to a specific attraction or theme park wasn't relevant to me like it would be for other visitors. The original weekend that I had booked ended up having some really bad weather, so about 2 hours before I would have to pay a cancellation fee, I made the decision to push out my travel to a later weekend. It just so happened that that was Memorial Day weekend which allowed me to extend my stay by a day.

For my land search, I was primarily concerned with four areas of Florida. I wanted to check out the St. Augustine area which is a little bit further north and on the East Coast. I wanted to look in Orlando, even though it's explicitly not near the beach, primarily because I've noticed that the housing prices are a little bit more affordable in Orlando, and the draw to the attractions could make it a good investment. And I wanted to look on the east and west coasts approximately lateral with Orlando - the Tampa/ Clearwater/ Pinellas area as well as the Space Coast and Melbourne / Cocoa Beach areas.

I rented a Jeep in case I needed to do some offroading, and each day I headed in a different direction. In hindsight, it was a pretty clever plan, but it was less intentionally thought through and more like the plan developed as I started to realize the enormity of what I was trying to accomplish.

I landed Thursday night and basically did nothing but get to my hotel and settle in. When I checked in to the hotel, I was informed that I'd have a food credit for $25 for each night I stayed. I found parking near my building and got to my room with no problem. One thing that, no matter how many trips I take, I manage to miss almost half of the time, is packing a hair brush. I have 37 small brushes at home from having to buy them while traveling, yet I still manage to pack a bag without a brush roughly every second or third trip. Thankfully, my hair is fairly easy to deal with, especially when its short but even when it's the length it is now - longer than I prefer but not long enough to donate.

So Friday morning I had to struggle with running my fingers through my hair and putting my hair up without a brush. That would be the first of a handful of silly missteps, but, hey, gotta keep things interesting, right? Then I grabbed a bagel from the hotel pantry and headed north towards St. Augustine. It would be the furthest area so I was glad to get it out of the way early in the trip. I checked out the area a little bit, just driving around, and observing. It seemed a little like Panama City Beach, but somehow a little less redneck riviera and more intellectual, somehow.  

Needing to use a restroom, I directed myself to a Publix near the beach. After taking care of the first priority, I shopped around a bit and came across a cooler bag that can be flattened which is super helpful for travel since it's not a big bulky ice chest but it will hold food cold - claiming it can keep even frozen things for up to 3 hours. Trying to stay a little on the healthy side, I got a bag of baby carrots and a couple drinks - and a hairbrush.

The Publix parking lot was marked for Publix parking online, forbidding people to park for the beach there, but since I had actually shopped at Publix, I figured it would be ok for me to take a quick walk to the beach before departing. The sun was shining and the walk was lovely. I passed by a themed motel that I enjoyed. Closer to the beach, I noted the changing rooms, public restrooms, and those standalone showers and foot washes. I left my flipflops at the end of the walkway and sauntered into the sand. I noted that the beach actually allowed for four wheel vehicles to enter and park along the back of the sandy part, for a small fee. That seems incredibly convenient, I thought. I had my bathing suit in my car but since I was wearing shorts, I went into the water up to my knees and took in the view of the ocean for the first time on this trip. Yep, I love the water here.

I walked back to my car at the Publix parking lot and debated changing into my swimsuit and going for a swim, but I reminded myself that this was going to be a long driving day and that I should really see a property or two before I goof off. So, I set my destination for the nearest property to where I was. And brushed my hair with my newly acquired hair brush on the way.

Now I got really lucky, and I absolutely fell in love with the first piece of property I saw. And that's not to say that I would fall in love with any piece of property, I've looked for land before and it took me a little while to find the property that I wanted. In this case though, I felt very confident that this was a great piece of land that I wanted. It was advertised as a corner lot which didn't really sink in until I experienced it - across the street in two directions were undevelopable land, so it was both extremely private and yet incredibly easy to access. It was a dirt road, but flat and even enough that even a car with low clearance could get through it. I also liked the proximity to St. Augustine. It was only about 20, maybe 25 minutes out of the main part of the town.

The neighbors seemed okay enough. They had basic but decent houses and yards that weren't completely trashed, which can be a rarity when you're looking at these other properties. Sometimes the streets have just absolute junkyards in front yards of the various homes along the street. I also liked that, on some of the streets to the property, you have almost a tree canopy going over the street, which to me is just very romantic. I don't know what I love about that so much but it just it takes my breath away when I see that kind of thing, and so to have that be part of my daily drive would be just absolutely amazing.

As far as the property itself, there wasn't much to do or see, except to note that it was extremely densely forested. It would need to be cleared even to camp in realistically, let alone set up an RV or manufactured home on it. But even the dense woods were strikingly beautiful. It wasn't a beachside oasis, to be sure, but so close to the beach and to a great city seems like a fair compromise for the price of the property.

I drove to three or four other properties up there, and I was thankful then for my rented Jeep because those roads were far less friendly to low clearance vehicles. I was really off-roading! And let me tell you, it was much more rocking and turning and ups and downs then a typical Disney ride! Some other properties just felt too unpassable even to get to but I got an idea and I really just wasn't as enthralled with any of them or the surrounding areas like I was that first piece of land. I reminded myself that the purpose of this trip was to explore and have a better understanding of the potential investments, but it seemed like every property I saw after the first one just reconfirmed why that first property was so good.

Since Friday was a lot of driving, I got back to the hotel and had dinner at the hotel pool bar and then called it a night. Saturday would be a little bit more interesting with not only the opportunity to go see multiple open houses, but there was also a SpaceX launch and a swing dance in Orlando that night.

Since I had some time in the morning, I decided to use today's food credit to check out the hotel's breakfast buffet. It wasn't much, and definitely not worth the price, so I got what I wanted and headed out, stopping at the pantry to load my new cooler bag up with some drinks and a bagel for later.

I headed east and checked out a couple places in the Space Coast area, making sure that I was in a good position to see the SpaceX launch when it happened. I was about 20 miles as the bird flies, by my estimation, from the launchpad, and it was a very bright day, so I could easily see the flame of the rocket but it was hard to make out the actual rocket. I could see the flame seem to turn as it crossed into the outer atmosphere. I watched the landing on the livestream on my phone. It was a good experiment because if I bought property in this area, I would know what to expect as far as visibility to the launches - and further away would then be less visibility.

As I drove south along the ocean side, I found a public beach and decided you know what, I didn't get to swim in the water in St. Augustine, today may be the day I go for a swim. So I found a place where I could park for just a couple bucks, and a changing room, and I threw my swimsuit on and I went out and just soaked in the ocean and bobbed in the waves exactly like I love to do. At that point I didn't really have much of a schedule except for Swing Dad's later that night. So it didn't really matter how long I stayed and I wasn't really stressed out about anything which is really a wonderful way of spending a Saturday afternoon. But, as happens in Florida sometimes, a cloud turned dark in the distance, and I recognized the distinct possibility it'd be raining and lightning soon. I got to my car just as my parking expired and just as the storm rolled in. Driving through the rain, I went to go see a couple more properties and then I headed back to my hotel. I had a little bit of downtime and then showered and got ready for the swing dance.

I hit my second little snafu when I got to the dance - pulling out what I thought were my dance shoes. The bag I had packed and brought with me, for some reason, had two left shoes in there. One was a dance shoe and one was a regular walking/running shoe. I thought for a moment, how could I possibly put both of these on, one on the wrong foot, and make it still work? Because I was currently wearing flip flops and that wasn't going to be a great dance experience. But then I remembered that I also had walking shoes in the car just in case I wanted to get out and walk the properties. So I ran out and got those, and at least there was a left and a right shoe. And luckily, they were not super sticky on the floor, so I could still dance sufficiently. And they weren't flip-flops.

I had a great time dancing. It's always a little awkward being a newbie because the regulars aren't sure my skill level or even if I'm friendly. But being alone helps with the latter, I think, because they know I'm not there "with" someone at least. Maybe it would be better to be with a dance partner who could show me off. But it didn't take long for someone to ask me to dance, and after a few more dances I was able to do some excellent Lindy swing outs and tricky Charleston follows. I even thought I recognized somebody from Camp Hollywood, and when he asked me to dance, I confirmed that to be the case. Between dances, I socialized with the newbies sitting on either side of me, who were just learning, and they complimented my dancing. When I danced with the lesson's teacher, I inquired if the Shim Sham was a regular thing, and she said it can definitely be requested. As is common at these socials, they took a break to do announcements, then invited me for an out-of-towner dance in which everyone not dancing stands in a circle and the leads continually "steal" me from my partner. After that, they put on the Shim Sham and I was happy to partake in that at my request.

All day Saturday, even though I was looking at different properties and doing other fun activities, I couldn't help but continue thinking about that property I'd seen Friday - the first one I had looked at. I decided to do a little bit more due diligence on both the company I'd be buying it from as well as the actual property and the county zoning and all of that. So Sunday morning, I let myself sleep in and then went to the hot tub before I showered. I had the hot tub to myself, which filled me with joy and let me focus on the task at hand. I finished doing my research on the company and on the county zoning, and decided everything checked out. With no other doubts I could think of or decision points I needed to wrestle with, I went ahead and purchased the property. Woohoo! I am now under contract for a little less than an acre 20 minutes outside of St. Augustine and I couldn't be more excited! 

I tried getting under the waterfall in the hot tub, which turned out to be an extraordinary massage with the heated water hitting my neck and back with the perfect amount of force. When the hot tub became a little too hot in the rapidly rising Florida heat, I hopped over to the pool which I also had to myself. I caught up on texts with friends and family before deciding to head in and get ready to go for the day. Even though I had now committed to a property, I still wanted to finish my full exploration.

After I finally got my butt through the shower and ready, I decided to check out the nearby Disney Celebration neighborhood before heading west. This has been a neighborhood on my radar for years, for some reason I thought all the houses there were exorbitantly expensive. But actually, I looked on Zillow and there were houses that were in reasonable price ranges and even some that were relatively cheap compared to what I'm used to in Texas. There were the multi-million dollar houses also, and I kind of wanted to see what that looked like. There were a few houses that had open houses on Sunday so I decided to at least look at them, although not necessarily go in for the open house. I had originally considered attending open houses but realized that just comes with a lot of unnecessary explaining and sales pressure, and I wasn't all that concerned with the interiors at this point anyways. Until I'm actually ready to move, I'd stick to more of just the driveby's to have a feel for the areas I could potentially consider in the future. So that's what I did. I went over to the Celebration neighborhood which was coincidentally really close to my hotel. After I saw the first house, I took a little detour on my way to the second house. I saw a little boardwalk that went into a forested area and I thought that was pretty cool looking. I parked and got out to walk it a little bit. That brought me quickly to a little pond which was very scenic and filled with wildlife -  fish jumping and making ripples, and a woodpecker in the tree by the walkway. There were several people walking and running and even biking as I was walking along and so it just seemed like a really vibrant, healthy way to get a workout in and be among nature, which is really cool. I walked a little bit further, but it just seemed like it was a really nice path and I could picture myself actually living in that neighborhood and running on that boardwalk.

There was one street on which I really enjoyed all the houses, they were all different styles and all very big. And you know, multi-million dollar, beautiful mini mansions. But I just loved all the different styles. I liked how a lot of them had a kind of archway that you would drive through to get to the garage in the back, so that takes the garage away from being the front and center part of your house. A highlight for me was, of course, the traditional and modern takes on turrets, which I just love. You know I love my turrets! I took a lot of pictures on that street, and I mean, if that isn't the dream right there I don't know what is.

I was completely struck by how the whole area felt very Disney themed without having explicit Mickey Mouses everywhere. It's kind of hard to put my finger on it, exactly, but the architecture and the motif, the art deco perhaps, it all just felt like Main Street Disneyland and a little bit like Hollywood Studios, again without being super explicit with theming. Just having that little touch, that little nuance, little textures, all the buildings had little flares of whimsy and clean old-timey throwbacks, and it was just so, so put together. I could really see how if you want to live in Florida and you have some money, why you would want to live in Celebration. It just feels like the perfect Utopian neighborhood. I was struck by the 7-Eleven as I exited the neighborhood. It was also done up like that, and I just I couldn't help myself. I needed to get gas anyways, so I stopped there to get gas and I went into the store to get some snacks. And of course they were selling Disney items and Mickey ears and all of that.

Finally, I headed west and went to the Clearwater/Tampa/Pinellas area. The traffic was much worse going this way and I'm not sure that I would like that permanently. I also didn't love the vibe there. It felt almost like Texas. I did get a chance to scope out the beach. To do so, I parked in a permit only lot, but I figured I'd only be there for a few minutes. I walked down and just got my feet in the water for a few minutes. I do love the warm, clear water of the Gulf. I remember it from living in Panama City Beach, and I could instantly recognize the appeal of the place, even if the establishments and traffic are less desirable. It's just absolutely amazing - there's nothing like it! After a few minutes on the beach, with my feet in the water, taking a couple selfies, I headed back up to my forbidden parking lot. I love how every beach I've been to seems to have a full shower and a foot wash right there as you exit. It's amazing, such a little thing and yet so helpful. I washed my feet off real quick and popped back into my Jeep to get back on the road.

What I've really liked about this trip is that I have a rough schedule - a rough aim, a destination of where I want to go, and approximately when - but other than that, I'm by myself and I'm doing whatever I want to do. I'm listening to audiobooks. I'm doing a lot of deep thinking and planning for the future, and I'm listening to music when I don't feel like I have the brain power to do anything else. I'm belting my own karaoke performances at the top of my lungs. So all this driving around isn't just wasted time. I'm actually working on stuff mentally. I'm learning. I'm thinking big picture ideas. I'm planning for the future and I'm enjoying myself. When I have to use the restroom, I stop at gas stations or fast food chains and I don't really stop to eat for very long. Although, I thought about giving myself a break from driving and sitting down to eat somewhere, but I just keep going because it's so much fun to just be on the move and check out the different areas.

My Publix cold pack bag has been very handy - I've put cold stuff in there in the morning, including my carrots which I am still trying to force myself to eat in between meals instead of the other options for snacks. I can fill it with new drinks and stuff that I'm buying at the gas stations to keep me fueled and hydrated. I stop when I want to stop and I keep going when I want to keep going and it's just been really liberating. I feel like I don't have any responsibilities. Everything is taken care of or can be taken care of with a swipe of a credit card. I'm not really spending that much money while I'm here, just gas and a handful of snacks or quick meals. The food at the hotel is free for me so stocking up there means I don't need to purchase a lot while I'm on the road. And since the hotel was free, the biggest expense really was my plane ticket. And of course, I did splurge for first class because I'm a brat like that.

I hit another storm on my way home from the west coast, but safely made it back to my hotel. The storm deterred my interest in going out somewhere fun for dinner, which was fine. I was glad that I had already toured around the Celebration neighborhood when it had still been sunny. I grabbed some food to make into dinner from the hotel pantry and basically collapsed into my bed. I finished three audio books on this trip - one which had previously been started and one which was a re-read, but still. I played on my phone, posted pictures, caught up on texts with Sam and Ryan and Darc, and then passed out.

What I want readers to get out of this is the idea that if there's something that you want to do, it doesn't have to be the traditional vacation. I'm here in Florida and a lot of people might think that I'm crazy for not just staying at the beach all day, or not going to one of the theme parks even though I proclaim that I love them. There's lots of events and things to do here, but that's not the focus that I wanted on this trip. And I think that's okay, I'm enjoying what I'm doing. Hell, it's more than okay. I'm learning. I'm getting me time - and that's something that's pretty hard for me to do typically. I usually hate driving, especially long distances or in traffic, but I'm making the most of it and it doesn't stress me out because I don't have a strict schedule. And I have an overwhelming sense that life is good.

So if you have something that you want to do, even if it seems silly or other people don't understand it, I want you to know that you can. You can make the plan. You can save up the money. You can go and do whatever that thing is. It doesn't have to be what normal people would do in a certain area and it doesn't have to be super expensive. I feel like I'm living my best life, even though I'm pretty much going from gas station to gas station. Even though I hate driving, I'm making the drive work in my favor - forcing focus and creation and decompression. If I can enjoy driving this much, then certainly you can find what makes you happy that is or is not aligned with the "norm." And follow your gut  - if you make a plan and you decide you don't want to do that thing anymore, do what you think is going to make you happiest.

Follow my lead, and do your own version of my Florida Dreamin'!

Sleep Apnea, Vegetable-based Ramen and the Milan Diet

Today I want to share some thoughts and reflections about my health. Weight has been an issue for me dating all the way back to high school - I yearn to be as skinny as I was then, even as I recall feeling fat compared to my peers at the time. But the major weight gain happened in a couple of waves.

My first year in college, I had a meal pass to school buffet, which meant I could eat multiple slices of pizza every day - and that is exactly what I did! Freshman 15? More like the freshman 40. I put on a lot of weight quickly while indulging. I'm sure weekend drinking didn't help, and the food I ate when I was hungover was just as bad. My period cramps got really bad, and so while I wasn't sexually active, I decided to go on birth control. The problem was that I couldn't swallow pills - even the tiniest birth control pill. So I did the 12-week injection instead. I was fine with the shot and the soreness that came with it, and it solved my period problems. Wonderful, right? Well, not exactly. The drug was known to cause depression and even suicidal thoughts, as well as significant weight gain. I do think I may have been a little depressed, which naturally turned into eating my emotions. I gained a lot of weight in a very short period of time.

During that time, I had another issue and had to swallow a pill for it. After years of getting advice from others and trying to practice swallowing pills, I figured out a method that worked for me. While the advice I got was usually, "Just don't think about it," what I learned was that I actually had to consciously think about it. My gag reflex would react to the foreign object if I pretended I was just drinking water, so I had to convince myself that I know what I'm doing and I needed to swallow this thing. But that wasn't all. I had to shove the pill into the back of my throat, almost choking on it, and then I threw back about a gallon of water, almost drowning myself until the pill went down. Dramatic, right? And it made a mess; I'd throw back so much water at once, basically flooding myself, that I'd spill a lot of water. But, the pill went down.

Learning that I could kind of swallow pills, I decided to switch my birth control method to the pill. Practice makes perfect, and over time I got better at swallowing without having to choke and drown myself. Although from time to time I still gag or a pill won't go down, and I definitely cannot swallow pills without water. Regardless, problem solved, right? Getting off the thing that caused weight gain (and maybe depressing leading to emotional eating) would allow me to lose weight, right?

Of course it wasn't that easy. Eating like I normally did, I still gained weight. I got into kenpo, started dancing again, started running again, but still gaining or at best staying flat. I tried various diets, Atkins and the like. As so many others, I'd see an initial drop and then it would lose its effectivity, and I'd gain the weight back and then some. And so the yo-yo dieting continued for years and years. I eventually became convinced that my metabolism was broken from all the dieting, and did the metabolism reset diet. I lost 12 pounds which is great, and I do think it "reset' my metabolism to an extent, but without constant maintenance it feels like it slipped back to being broken. I could eat well all week and have two slices of pizza and gain 5 pounds overnight. And that wasn't temporary, that became my new normal and I had to slowly work that off. I'd lose 2 of those pounds and then have another cheat meat and gain another 5. It was maddening. All that hard work to lose a couple pounds and one indulgence caused me to gain double.

In health, all things are connected. When I started running again, I also started coughing at night. It got so bad I finally went to the doctor three days before a race. I did a breathing test and was informed that I was using 25% of my lung capacity. I had asthma. I got an inhaler and was warned that the inhaler's positive effects would take many days to totally work, but I took it when I needed it. I ran my race but it was terrible because I felt personally defeated by having labeled my condition. The diagnosis of asthma seemed to change my identity as a runner to a sick person. I finished the race and had class afterwards, and I'll never forget that class because I sat in the back and hacked through it. But the damage was done. How could I lose weight running if I'm an asthmatic?

I gave it up for a while and sought out other activities. But walking, for one, was never as satisfying or beneficial. I have never been a speed walker, and in fact, I walk slower than anyone I know who isn't slowed by old age. I can tell myself to speed up, and I will a little, but not for long and not that much faster. I would joke that I have two speeds, running and ambling. So I'd get back into running for a time, and then stop, yo-yoing my running as I was my diets.

Then I read a book, "Rest," which really stuck with me. It talked about how active, rigorous exercise was actually good for being productive and creative in our work, among other things. I decided my half-ass running a half mile was insufficient, and I aimed to run a 5k, or 3.1, miles multiple times a week. I knew I had to work myself up to that, but to my surprise, my progress went faster than I expected, and I was regularly running 3.1 to 3.7 miles every day. This was when I was living in San Diego during the pandemic, so I got to run through Balboa Park and breathe in the ocean air from the nearby beach. My "wall" was around 1.5 to 2 miles, but once I pushed through that, I'd get a runner's high and didn't want to stop running most days. The only reason I stopped was because I knew I had to get to work. It felt great! I was losing weight and felt like I was getting stronger. One morning, just before leaving for a weekend in Yosemite, I went for my morning run. But within .4 miles, my hip started hurting. I had disciplined myself to push through the various aches and pains I sometimes felt while running. But this pain was different and persistent. I got to the point of tears and decided I had to take it seriously and stop running. I stretched and walked for a bit, trying to shake it off, but the moment I tried running again, there it was. I did a total of about 2 miles, mostly walking, before calling it quits. Later, I researched the issue and it seemed like it was related to being overweight and putting too much pressure and overuse on the joint. Once again, I felt defeated. Here I was trying to lose weight and really pushing myself, and my body just wouldn't have it.

With Ozempic and related treatments being all the rage, I looked into them on my own. Everything I've read indicates that they work by suppressing appetites. I had gotten to the point in recent years where I feel like I can control my portions and my appetite. I'm not a late-night snacker (usually, anyways), I don't obsess over sweets, and I've learned to cut my carbs. I can eat healthy, but I can't lose weight. It doesn't appear to me to be an appetite problem. In fact, I worry that I eat so little on a regular basis, if I suppressed my appetite, my body would go into starvation mode. The problem, I continued to feel, is still my metabolism. But I HATED the metabolism reset diet and couldn't get myself to do that again. I'd been considering buying a Lumen for a long time, which is supposed to tell you what your metabolism is doing and when to eat what. 

After a lot of consideration, I decided to pull the trigger on it, and it was interesting but didn't inform me very much. Virtually every day it told me it was a low carb day, with a handful of medium carb days sprinkled in, based on the fact that my body wasn't burning fat. Well no crap! I also found it super challenging to even do the breathing the Lumen wanted. It has you breathe in for 10 seconds, which was fine, then hold your breath, which was fine, then exhale for 10 seconds while it counted down. I struggled to make it to 2 seconds remaining, and often would run out of air by 3 or 4 seconds remaining. This meant that my reading was incomplete and I'd have to do it again, which was exhausting.

Separately, I had seen a couple documentaries and am convinced that the production of food how we're doing it now is unsustainable and bad for us. While our ancestors and people living in Blue Zones might consume meat once a week, we were largely using meat as the center of every meal. Raising enough livestock to keep feeding the world in this way meant more and more forests were chopped down to grow the grains and foods needed just to feed our meat animals. And the idea that protein only comes from meat and can't be found in plants somehow is accepted but untrue. Where do the animals get the protein, anyways? One of my long-time-ago ex's was really into sustainability and explained to me that he tried to eat more chicken than beef since the amount of water and food needed to raise one pound of chicken meat was substantially less than one pound of beef, which made sense to me. So I tried to keep that in mind to craft my intake towards poultry instead of beef.

Sam has a philosophical aversion to eating anything that comes from a pig, which has been a difficult consideration in practice for me. He has never asked me not to eat pig in front of him or anything like that, but knowing he doesn't like it means I'm not going to order it for us. It turns out, I eat a lot of pig! Bacon and sausage for luxurious breakfasts, pepperoni on my pizza, salami in my sandwiches, barbecue pulled pork for a Texas dinner. In addition to never eating pig meat, Sam also tried to minimize how much other meat and poultry he ate. His influence paired with my understanding of the sustainability of our food chain has made me again reconsider my preference for meat. An ad on facebook about a plant-based instant ramen that was high in protein intrigued me, and I ordered a sampler on Amazon. For the most part, it was somewhere between good and bland. But adding a heap of garlic chili sauce made it addicting! I started eating it once (and sometimes twice) a day, and suddenly, I started losing weight with minimal exercise and no other change to my habits. The warm broth and feeling of satiation, paired with the weight loss results, made me an addict to something completely plant-based.(Not that I'm selling anything, but the brand is Immi if you're interested.)

Another fun dieting "trick" I had picked up from a long-ago-ex was "the pickle diet." The premise being that pickles are tasty, filling and relatively low in calories. Snacking on pickles instead of, say, chips, or eating a pickle before a meal, would help get that full, satiated feeling with fewer calories. While unproven, there is also a notion that pickles and pickle juice help athletic recovery from sore and stiff muscles - something I feel I can attest to. Often when I go out dancing, I drink some water but clearly not enough, because despite not having an ounce of alcohol, I wake up the next morning feeling depleted and hung over. Pickle juice, I've found, has helped that, as well as just chugging water for the entire following day.

Somewhere along the line I developed a snoring problem. My family pointed it out to me but it always felt like a judgey, lecturing way. I didn't want to hear it. The connection to not getting good sleep and not being able to lose weight was not yet apparent to me and I dismissed it as nonsense. I knew I was overweight - I ate too much and moved too little. Calories in, calories out, right? It got so bad on our family Christmas vacation in Hawaii that nobody would sleep in the same room as me and everyone was going to extraordinary lengths to get away from me. I was annoyed at my family - how bad could it be, really? I had slept with a snoring boyfriend and eventually just got used to it. They could do the same.

It was Sam who really reframed my thinking on this. He wasn't judgmental or condescending, but curious. The problem wasn't just that I snored, but that I wasn't getting sufficient rest. So, I'd fall asleep during the day. He caught me sleeping in the car in Scotland while he was driving. He noticed me nodding off during the Taylor Swift concert at Wembly Stadium. I was apparently quite the spectacle when I was snoring on the bus coming back from Stonehenge. He got a kick out of me sleeping in the rowdy crowd at a soccer match near Richmond. And most shocking to me was when I passed out on the boat part of the London tour, because I love boats!

I was also sleepy at home. It wasn't frequent but I would fall asleep in front of the TV. The most disturbing though was that I'd start nodding off in the car on my morning commute. Just a couple hours after waking, the 15 minute commute would lull me to sleep and I had to fight with myself to keep my eyes open. It was worst at red lights, and once I got honked at for not being alert when the light changed. Often, I'd be so groggy and exhausted by the time I reached my office parking lot that I'd park and allow myself a power nap that would last 20 or 30 minutes.

I knew the jig was up. I had to see a doctor and get my diagnosis which I knew from what people told me would likely be sleep apnea and I'd have to get a CPAP and that would suck. I was not looking forward to it. My Mom had had a CPAP and she ended up stopping her usage because it was too annoying to her and my Dad. I was determined that if that's what I had to do, I would get it my all. I first had to get a referral from a general doctor. So I went in to see her.

Besides daytime sleepiness and nighttime snoring, not being able to lose weight, being asthmatic and having year-round allergies, there was still another issue I had. My ability to regulate my emotions, or more correctly, my physiological responses that looked like emotions, aka crying, seemed to have greatly diminished. I'm not saying I never cried when I was younger, many boyfriends had been frustrated with me when we'd fight and I'd cry. I think it started with anger issues when I was a child and I learned that I could not unleash my fury so I bottled it up inside and that became tears. When I was mad, I didn't get violent or yell, I'd cry. Even when other people were mad, I'd cry. That was true for years. But it had gotten so bad that the littlest thing could set me off - good or bad. I'd get a compliment from my boss and I'd cry. Sam would pinch me a little too hard and I'd cry. I'd see stranger propose at the Taylor Swift concert and I'd cry.

So when I talked to my doctor, she connected a lot of the dots for me. My symptoms sounded like I had sleep apnea. Of course I wasn't losing weight: I had no energy to work out, no willpower to eat the right things, and my body wasn't metabolizing like it should in deep sleep at night. Having felt heard and relieved it wasn't "my fault", I started to cry. And she asked what was wrong and I said, well, this sucks too. I can't control my tears. And she told me, interestingly, that assuming I had sleep apnea, that meant my body was in a constant fight or flight state and never recovered from that. So little triggers could cause crazy emotional responses. That made sense to me. I asked her if I'd have to get a CPAP and she said likely yes, but reassured me that people who use it regularly say it's life changing.

It's actually a little crazy how all these conditions are connected. My asthma, allergies and presumed sleep apnea are all conditions caused by, or contributed to, and made more likely by being overweight. But losing the weight is made difficult (to impossible) by having asthma and sleep apnea. A death spiral that started with overeating and weight-inducing medications that cannot seem to be reversed. I had to get to the root of it. If better quality sleep will help me to have more energy and better emotions and potentially improve my metabolism, then I had to address the sleep problem.

Completely full of conviction now, I went to my sleep doctor and told him my symptoms. He agreed it was likely sleep apnea and checked the size of my throat hole or whatever. He showed me a chart with 6 shapes of throat holes and said mine was the tightest of them all, which made me physically prone to sleep apnea. He'd have to do a sleep study to confirm, but he was pretty confident. I had the option of doing an at-home study or in-clinic study. The at-home study was lighter, had fewer diagnostics, and sometimes could be inconclusive which would result in the need to do the in-clinic study anyways. I wanted the full gambit. I wanted to be as close to 100% sure as we could be. I wanted to give my doctor all the information possible so he could get this right. If it was sleep apnea or something else, I wanted to know and get the treatment I needed.

I found the sleep study a little hilarious. To be fair, it was quite comfortable, I had my own room with an attached bathroom, which I was grateful for because I tended to have to use the bathroom multiple times at night - another symptom apparently of sleep apnea - the body doesn't turn off the mechanism causing you to have to pee. But being connected to a million sensors meant that when I had to use the bathroom, I'd have to signal my nurse to disconnect me. Instead of disconnecting all the individual things, they plugged into a master machine and she would disconnect that and hang it around my neck while I did my thing, and then reconnect me when I was done. The goop in my hair and the suction marks on my body were funny to me, as was the way I looked when I was all connected up. When I was up for another bathroom break early in the morning, my nurse informed me that it was close enough time to the end of the sleep study anyways, so after using the bathroom, we could take the things off and I could get dressed to go home. As she was disconnecting me, I was concerned that my discomfort had prevented me from sleeping enough and asked her if they had gotten sufficient data. "Oooooh yeaaaah," she said, snorting a little, "we got LOTS of good readings on you." I thought that was a little funny even though I wasn't quite sure what it meant.

When I got my results back, they were absolutely stunning. Most notably, I had 98 "events" per hour. PER HOUR! That meant that 98 times per hour, I would choke or stop breathing. Fight or flight indeed. When I talked to my doctor about the results, he was concerned that the CPAP wouldn't be enough, and I might have to move to a bi-PAP which is more intense. But he said we should start with the CPAP and he assured me that even if it wasn't enough, it would still help greatly. But it would take a couple weeks, and I was nearing my trip to Milan for two weeks. So the CPAP would have to wait.

Knowing that it was very easy to gain weight on a business trip, I had bought a travel scale with me to monitor my weight for the two weeks in Italy. I knew I'd be tempted with all the pasta and pizza to overindulge in carbs, and so much as looking at pizza caused me to gain weight, so I wanted to give myself real-time feedback. To my surprise, however, while I gorged on the hotel breakfast buffet, polished whole individual pizzas at lunch, and ate a full meal of pasta or similar for dinner, I lost weight every day. I missed my plant-based ramen a little bit, but I was eating so good and so well in Italy, and losing weight, so I didn't mind too much.

My asthma, however,  was aggravated by the smog of Milan, the second hand smoke on campus at my work site, and probably the cold weather to an extent. I was using my inhaler multiple times per day but it got worse and worse. I knew from recent experience with something similar, and having been seen by a doctor back then, that as long as I didn't have a fever, I could rest assured I wasn't sick. But my asthma would need to be treated with something more intense than an inhaler.

I picked up my CPAP when I was back home, and didn't have time between returning and leaving for Tucson and then to Australia to see a doctor about a more intense treatment for my asthma. So I hacked through my holiday in Tucson with my family and in the ICU where my sister was beating the odds in her own medical issues. When I got to Tasmania, Sam told me what I could already sense, that the ocean air on our beach in Howrah was some of the cleanest air in the world. He
walked me through a breathing exercise which I felt was unnecessary, but I liked that he cared so much. I gulped in all the fresh ocean air I could while I was there, and I could tell my aggravated asthma was subsiding a little every day. We went north for a two day mini trip, and the mountain air up there was equally refreshing. Even in Sydney, walking out to Darling Harbor, I felt like my breathing was improving day over day.

I have been religious about using and maintaining my CPAP. I got the distilled water needed and changed it daily, I sanitized the tubes with apple vinegar, I got baby wipes and wiped down my mask every day. I had to use it for a minimum of 4 hours every night. The average didn't matter, so even if I used it 6 hours one night, I still had to use it for at least 4 hours the next. So I tracked my usage and made sure I got my 4 hours. The app had instant feedback and the results were telling and felt very accurate to what I could remember. That is, when I was struggling with my mask fit, the app would say I needed to correct it, and when I felt like my mask was good, the app would confirm.

But the most shocking result was that the events were now in the single digits per hour, around 5 typically. From 98 events per hour down to 5 is a 1960% improvement! Almost instantaneously, too, I had stopped dozing off during the day. It was no longer a struggle to stay awake in the car. And, I was still losing weight even after returning from Milan. I also feel less stuffed up from allergies, which could be seasonal but I suspect the humidifier effect on the CPAP is contributing at least.

Over the course of a several weeks, I felt healthier and healthier. I still puff on my asthma inhaler before dancing, but I no longer felt as winded or in need of another inhaler puff after dances. One night, I was waiting for my inhaler refill to come in but went dancing anyways. I was sure my current inhaler was completely out of dosage, but I sucked on whatever fumes I could grasp. And I didn't cough at all that night, despite not having a real dosage of inhaler. I am feeling healthier now than I have in a long time. I feel happier, too, and have emoted less. I've felt more in control of my tears and my ability to get things done. It has been quite a change. I'm not sure I'm ready to call it "life changing," but I can see how all these things are connected and relieved that I am working on the root of the issue, or at least one major contributor.

Recently, however, my weight has started to tick up again even though I'm doing the same things - eating my plant-based ramen, dancing, eating salads or lean meals when I'm not eating my ramen, drinking my water, etc. As such, I renewed my subscription for Lumen and am trying to use it more to figure out what's going on and what I need. To my surprise, I have been finding it easier to make it through the breath recording - I can now exhale all the way to 10 where I wasn't able to do that before. Something has improved, even if my weight is waffling.

I recently listened to "The Dorito Effect" which confirmed what I kind of suspected - the processed food wasn't as good for us as the food in, say, Milan, which wasn't packed with preservatives and artificial flavoring. I really do think there is something to that. The book also talks about how the "good" food has been "dumbed down" and made to taste worse and carry less nutrients - chicken, tomatoes, lettuce, for example. Chicken used to taste good on its own apparently, but the way commercial farms feed them to get fatter quicker is causing a loss of the taste and nutritional value, leading to use not only getting less out of the chicken itself but also having to smother it in sauces to make it taste good. It makes me just want to get a piece of land, raise my own chickens, grow my own crops and make my own sourdough at home. That sounds like a lot of work, but my goodness, this feels like a bad situation, doesn't it? What else are we to do?

Well for now, I'm looking forward to a full month in Milan, knowing that I was losing weight while gorging my appetite there. In the meantime and after that trip, I will have to focus back on eating pickles and plant-based ramen and other good things and drinking more water, getting the sleep I need, dancing and exercising, and so on and so forth…. and the health journey continues.

Oh yeah, and here's a vid of my dance group performing last night!

Considering Revising My Life List

I formed my original Life List in my 20s and have only add a handful of items to get it to 150 total. Since then, I've aspired and succeeded at completing at least one or two per year. Many are destination-oriented and so I can knock off several in a few days or a week while on a vacation. It has been an incredible part of my life, a source of inspiration and provided reasons for celebration and reflection.

However, it has occurred to me recently that many of the remaining items are ones I am not as excited about as I was when I added them. Some are golf-oriented, as I was into golf when I wrote it, and I've played all of 9 holes once since then - maybe not as big of a golfer as I thought I'd be! Others sound cooler than they are realistic, e.g. ride in a blimp and float down the Nile - are those even things people do? Still others require a level of fitness to which I'm not confident I'll ever get back to - they seemed like a good idea when I was young.

So I started considering whether it made sense to revise the list. One of my rules has always been that I am not going to add an item when checking it off is planned and eminent, just to check it off, so I intend to adhere to that. The original intent was to provide aspirations to ensure I lived life fully. And honestly, even though I've only checked off half of them, I feel it has accomplished its purpose to an extent; I have also had some amazing experiences that weren't on the list. As such, while there may be a temptation to add items that I hadn't thought of that have been awesome experiences for me, I will continue with the intent, so only items that have not been accomplished and are not foreseeably eminent can be added.

For today, I just want to explore what I would update my list to, *IF* I decide to modify the items remaining. To start, here are the items remaining, along with my disposition of whether to keep, modify or replace them.

Keep/Modify Pile
1    View Athens from the Acropolis - Keep
4    Dance the tango in Argentina - Keep
5    See my art in a gallery or store - Keep
8    Drive the Autobahn - Keep
10    Ride a penny-farthing bicycle - Keep
12    Ride a recumbent bicycle - Keep
18    Build a custom house with "secret" architectural features - Keep
26    Participate in a Carnival parade in Brazil - Keep, planned for 2026!
27    Spend the night in a castle - Keep
28    Tour Neuschwanstein Castle, Germany - Keep
32    Ride through the Chunnel - Keep
35    Visit a concentration camp - Keep
36    Road trip in a convertible with the top down and music blaring - Keep
39    Float in the Dead Sea - Keep
40    Help dig for dinosaur bones - Keep
46    Have dinner with someone famous - Keep
63    Design my own house, and see it constructed - Keep
64    Ice skate outside while its snowing - Keep
66    Travel India by train - Modify
67    Be interviewed by a reputable journalist in person - Keep
71    Drink a mint julep at the Kentucky Derby - Keep
80    Find a message in a bottle - Keep
81    Be an extra in a movie - Keep
82    Go to a red-carpet film premiere - Keep
83    Have something named after me - Keep
87    Drink in Germany for Oktoberfest - Keep
88    Be a spectator at an Olympic event - Keep
90    Be awarded a patent - Keep
92    See Petra, Jordan - Keep
97    Have my portrait painted - Keep
98    Send in a postsecret - Keep
100    See the pyramids of Egypt - Keep
103    Drive a race car around a real track - Keep
111    Give a person a second chance on life - Keep
112    Set foot on each of the seven continents - Keep
113    Shake hands with someone who has truly changed a country. - Keep
119    Learn to use a slide rule - Keep
120    Drive a snowmobile - Keep
121    Be in the stands when two rival South American club teams play each other in soccer. - Keep
122    Go into orbit/outer space - Keep
130    Attend the Super Bowl - Keep
133    See the Taj Mahal - Keep
138    Stay at an underwater hotel - Keep
142    Go white water rafting - Keep
147    Time Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park - Keep
149    Help set a world record - Keep
150    Open a million dollar hot dog stand - Replace

Replace Pile
3    Float along the Amazon - Replace
9    Bathe in the Ganges - Replace
13    Ride in a blimp - Replace
14    Race a bobsled - Replace
20    Watch a fire-dancing show at Burning Man - Replace
22    Golf in Cabo - Replace
25    Go to Carnival of Venice - Replace
33    Go cliff diving - Replace
60    Make a hole-in-one - Replace
70    Kayak through the jungle - Replace
77    Hike the Inca Trail in Machu Picchu - Replace
85    Float along the Nile - Replace
86    Golf through Nullarbor Links - Replace
94    Try pole vaulting - Replace
95    Participate in a police lineup - Replace
102    See the pyramids of Chichen Itza - Replace
107    Walk a runway - Replace
108    Learn to sail - Replace
114    Eat at a Shenanigans - Replace
115    Go water skiing - Replace
116    Ski or snowboard in Colorado - Replace
117    Ski in Dubai - Replace
125    Visit the statue of Christ the Redeemer, Corcovado - Replace
136    Ride a camel in Timbuktu - Replace
146    Write that "one song" - Replace
148    Do the Dirty Dancing lift - Replace

Ok, so that's 26 items I could replace. Here are some of the items I've been thinking about adding which could replace these.

    1. Photograph the Southern Lights (Aurora Australis) in person
        I only learned of this phenomenon last year when I was chasing the Northern Lights in Fairbanks in pursuit of a Life List item. I spent the end of the year in Tasmania, leaving on New Year's Day. That night, the Southern Lights put on a spectacular show for the entire island. I missed it by one day! Now I want to go back and try to see it! 

    2. Stay at a safari-style hotel and see giraffes out my window
        When I lived in Florida, I fancied the idea of staying at the Animal Kingdom Hotel  where giraffes could be seen out my window for my birthday. It will be trickier now, not living in Florida or having the Disney passes, but still something I'd like to do. 

    3. Go on a real / wild African safari
        I love animals and visiting zoos and their little safari tours. Wouldn't it be amazing to see this for reals?

    4. Take in the views of Santorini
        I was sitting in a Greek restaurant a few years ago and realized with my love of the food and the beautiful pictures, I really wanted to go to Greece, and specifically Santorini. I was set on going for my 40th birthday, but a romantic interest turned my head and we went to the UK and knocked off some life list things instead. It was a great trip, but I still want to go to Santorini in the summer, rent a place with a dipping pool and take in the views. 

    5. See the brilliance of the Milky Way
        The Milky Way has been eluding me for years now! I tried seeing it near Yosemite, at Bryce Canyon, at dark sky sites like Amboy Crater and Big Bend. I've captured semi-decent photographs but still haven't felt like I hit it on the mark. When going to Hawaii in 2023, I even hired an astrophotographer who was skilled at capturing her clients in the foreground with the Milky Way in the background at the top of the mountain in Maui. I literally took a risk driving up and down the mountain in the dark, nodding off as I went, and she was shocked at how bad the sky was that night. I told her it was me, the Milky Way was eluding me. The picture to the right is a greatly enhanced (aka photoshopped) picture she provided because the sky was basically black. So, if I am going to update my Life List, I think this needs to go on there because it's something I'm going to continue chasing until I'm satisfied (and maybe even after that). 

    6. Compete in a swing dance competition
        I've been trying to bring/keep swing dance in my life the last few years. I am wording this one intentionally a little vague because I am probably more likely to compete in a group competition rather than and individual or couple competition, but any would suffice! Just want to keep the focus on dance, which gives me so much joy and helps me stay active. 

  7. See the monkeys on Miyajima
        This is a risky one because I've been to Miyajima twice, even hiking all the way from the top of the mountain to the sea, and never saw them. But I swear they are there and I want to find them. On the other hand, if it's possible to never see them, I'd hate to hold up the completion of my Life List despite trying to complete the last item. So maybe not. 

    7. Visit Lego House in Denmark
        I mean, with my love of Lego, it’s a wonder nothing Lego related has made it to my list - yet! I recently stumbled upon the world's largest Lego store while shopping in Sydney, Australia. Of course, had to commemorate the visit with a special brick they gave me for free with purchase of a set. 

    8. Learn how to photograph distant planets (like Jupiter)
        I'm not so gung-ho about this one, but it is definitely achievable and can inspire my learning and aligns with my interest in space, so seems okay. 

    9. Sleep in a transparent shelter and fall asleep watching the stars

    10. Go Super Sonic
        A good replacement for riding in a blimp, hopefully super sonic transportation will be a reality (again) in the near future! 

    11. Road trip and camp in an RV
    
    
I feel like these are really good ones to replace some of the more iffy ones on my list, but there's a part of me that's still sentimental about the original list. What do you think?