Showing posts with label Sydney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sydney. Show all posts

Saturday, February 7, 2026

Go In Peace and Love: 2025 Reflections

I am delinquent to my usual annual review of my year. I'll blame it partially on the fact that I've caught up on making video montages for each year, and I spent much of my computer time towards the end of 2025 on creating my video, which is great. Also, I can partially blame it on a happy thought that I was just more excited to look forward and doing things, creating my story, rather than just documenting it. So I don't feel bad. Sorry, not sorry! That being said, I think there are a few really impactful things from 2025 which I would be remiss if I neglected to put into words before the memories and feelings fade completely. 




Resolutions for 2025

I set out at the start of 2025 to do some specific things which I pivoted away from, specifically around how to publish my book, and leveraging technology specifically for investing. I did publish a book, self-published rather than through a real publisher, and not the book I intended to publish - that one is still TBD - but a totally bizarre diversion from my usual writing. And it was fun! And it used technology in ways I hadn't imagined at the start of 2025. So while I didn't accomplish those specific things, I did my own thing, and isn't that really the point, anyways? 

What I did do which was aligned to my initial outlook for 2025 included dance. I performed two final performances with the Jubilee Dance Team before the group dissolved. I continued dancing socially and had probably my best Camp Hollywood yet, sharing it with a fellow engineering friend and feeling overcome by the sheer joy of the people there who are just there to dance. I know drama and political posturing exist in those groups, but I was largely immune to them, so all I saw was sheer joy for five days. And it occurred to me - shouldn't we always strive to have days like these? Even if not every day is joyful, finding days like those make the hard stuff worth it. What a revelation and privilege! 

I also set out to finish my family room and primary bathroom, and those I did and I love them. My bathroom, especially, is everything I dreamed it to be and gives me joy every day I get to wake up and use it and every night as I brush my teeth and get ready for bed. I am REALLY proud of my faux living wall made with craft supplies. It is the perfect proportion I was after, and it just feels right in that space. Home improvements, especially crazy ones, don't always work out so well, but the careful thought and planning and design iterations I toiled over paid off in this case, and that is amazing. As my friend Rachel said about it, "It's just so you!" And that's right. It's not for everyone, but it was never meant to be. It's my house, my castle, and my sanctuary. It may deteriorate my resale value, but I'm not selling right now, I'm living (here) right now. More of that, please! 

Life List #35 - Visit a concentration camp

From my Life List, I checked off one very important one to me: visiting a concentration camp. And I did it in the best way possible - with my sister, Christy, with whom we've shared book recommendations about the concentration camps and Jews during the Holocaust. The trip idea formulated out of my business trip to Milan, a city my sister strongly desired to visit. She decided to join me my last week there, and use my hotel room as a launch pad from which to explore Milan while I wrapped up my work there. Then, we considered going somewhere together - Greece, maybe, or back to Venice, a city we explored together for the first time years prior, with great memories. But when I suggested the more serious idea of going to Auschwitz, she was excited in whatever way is appropriate and not weird. I had heard that Krakow, Poland was a lovely city, but I just assumed that was something people said because what else do you say about the nearest major city to a place with such a devastating past as Auschwitz. I was wrong in all the best ways on that. 

It was a short flight from Milan to Krakow, but something changed when we arrived in Poland. Everything seemed happier, easier, safer, friendlier, better. Just better. I can enumerate ways but the parts don't seem to account for the whole, fluffy, happy feeling I had there. And I wasn't alone in that. Christy also seemed to love absolutely everything. We were so uncanningly happy in this town in which we didn't know the local language and barely understood the food. 

It started, I suppose, with the Uber ride to our hotel. The houses in the countryside were tall and boxy and somehow the most adorable houses I've ever seen. Like, I wanted to take a picture of every one of 1000 houses I suppose we passed. I would happily live in any one of those in a heartbeat. Turning into Krakow, a giant castle-like complex built of red brick greeted us. We later learned this was some utility company like a water works or something like that. What?!? 

I had booked the hotel with my excessive points, so it was free of cost to us, but they greeted us like VIPs maybe because of my status anyways. The woman who checked us in offered to make dinner reservations for us at the hotel's restaurant, and since we were sort of tired and unsure of going out on the town, we opted in. So after getting settled into the room, we prettied up a touch and headed downstairs. She escorted us into the restaurant and told the waiter to take special care of us. She even came back after we were seated to offer us a special Polish treat - she cautioned that half of Polish people love it and half don't care for it. My sister and I were also split right down the middle, I loved it and she didn't care for it, so I gladly enjoyed the half of hers she didn't eat. We ordered wine but the waiter offered us a complimentary shot of a special Polish liquor. We cheers'ed and gulped it down - it was pleasant but not our thing. The chef sent out a special small palate cleanser compliments of the house. Our appetizers and meals were all scrumptious and presumably authentically Polish. Who knew I liked Polish food so much? I certainly did not. After some equally delicious desserts and cocktails, we stumbled (from the food coma more than the alcohol) back into the elevator and passed out. 

Now, I will add that while my sister and I do have real empathy for the persecuted Jews of the Holocaust and are inspired by those stories of absolute resolutions to survive, so much so that we shared many of these stories between us, we also have a sometimes dark sense of humor. Comedic relief has been a way of coping with death and tragedy in our family, and making light of ugly situations is sort of what we do. So we knew we had to clean up our act out of respect while touring the camps, but boy did we let it loose before and after. 

The first thing I recall from our tour of Auschwitz-Birkenau was a constant feeling of having been here before. Not quite déjà vu, like I had lived this tour before, but more that everything made sense, I knew what to expect, it looked like I… remembered? It could be the effect of having seen pictures in various books, museums, video footage, internet articles, etc. I wanted to write it off as that. But the feeling was of such familiarity it was hard to write it off. It felt like I was remembering the images through the accounts I had read, as if I had lived those accounts myself, and now I was visiting the places I had visited before in my mind. That alone was a very moving and somehow comforting feeling - that the accounts were so accurate they felt like a memory to a first-time visitor, and all the more hope that such accounts will stand as evidence of the crimes that really happened and a hope that the human race will not go to such depths again. 

As a mere mortal, I think it is often hard for me, and probably most people, to comprehend large numbers. The individual accounts I had read over the years were painstakingly awful, but to imagine that those atrocities, or worse, since most didn't survive to tell their tales, to millions of people just can't be fathomed. If I read a thousand individual stories, that still would represent only a tiny fraction of the stories not learned. So I really appreciated some of the exhibits that attempted to show these magnitudes in ways we could come closer to comprehending. There were locks of hair that had been shaved off the prisoners upon arrival - most of which had been taken to factories for use in manufacturing - but even what remained was still an unbelievable amount. The shoes stripped of the prisoners, some plain and practical, others decorative and fashionable, all thrown together in a heap that still only represents a fraction, but imagining the pairs of legs belonging to people who boarded the trains and arrived to these horrors, the comprehension of the magnitude was more within reach. Then you turn the corner and witness a pile of kids' shoes - and that evokes a heightened emotion for so many reasons, as we continued to strive to comprehend. 

I also appreciated the visuals of the Cyklon B used to gas the Jews and other victims, and the models of the facilities, and the like. There was a scientific efficiency in the Nazi extermination efforts, and understanding the mechanics is a part of the equation to comprehending the horrors that occurred there, which the accounts tend not to know or detail.

At Birkenau, we had the opportunity to lay eyes on the buildings in which the prisoners were forced to attempt to sleep, many to a single bunk, and the bunks piled high and packed into the tightest of quarters. One could imagine the ease with which disease could spread in such conditions, the restlessness one might struggle with hearing the coughs, moans, cries and other human noises of so many people shoved together, and the utter exhaustion they must have felt to find some kind of comfort and solace in being in here, able to get off their feet and not be laboring, and maybe finding some warmth however slight. Much of it rendered me just speechless. 

Entering the gas chamber was downright unnerving. I knew I was safe, and yet… 

I don't ever want to do that again. I suppose most people don't. 

While the exhibits at Auschwitz helped me try to comprehend the magnitude of the human element, the vastness of Birkenau spoke of a killing machine that was still ramping up. I don't know what the Nazis would have accomplished had they not been stopped when they were, but it seemed like it could have been magnitudes worse than the already incomprehensible disaster it was. 

The end of our tour tied up with some reflections that these were fellow humans that did this to other humans, and that we need to remember so that we never repeat such atrocities. Capturing these quotes in photos and souvenirs was almost as important as visiting the place itself. 

As we headed back, we were mostly quiet, but I had to chuckle to myself at the playlist, which included, "I Want to Break Free," "Shotgun," "Rude," and "bad guy," as if the world was trying to lighten the mood with some comedic relief. Also, perhaps because I was too emotionally drained to care what people might think at that point, or maybe to fill my photo folder of something happier, I took a bunch of pictures of the adorable houses on our way back to the town. 

That afternoon, my sister had a few fun destinations she wanted to check out. We headed first to EL&N and had fun drinks and food there. Then we played around in the Be Happy Museum which was full of silly photo ops to be hilarious in. Around town, we found a Christmas store (we love that!) and heard a trumpeter play from the turret, which is just so right up my alley if you know my love of turrets and history of trumpet playing. We found ourselves double fisting drinks for some reason at whatever bar we landed at, and just genuinely enjoyed every moment of our short stay in Krakow. By the end of the day, we were devising how we could move to Poland. I've never loved a city so much in a country I knew so little about. 

Life List #33 - See the brilliance of the Milky Way

I revised my Life List at the beginning of 2025, and one of the newly added items was my pursuit of seeing the Milky Way in all its glory - as it had eluded me several times while visiting dark sky parks known for their glorious views of the night skies. Perhaps adding it to my Life List helped to make it happen, or perhaps my doubling down on my pursuit because I added it to my list is what did it. Either way, I was overjoyed to take in the views at the top of two different mountains in Hawaii, capturing beautiful photos and finally feeling satisfied by the view with the naked eye -twice. I wrote about that adventure here.

Other Life List-worthy Mentions

In addition to checking off two new things from my Life List, I doubled down on a few others. Self-publishing my book about Astoria was a second hit on #15 to Publish a book. I also had the opportunity to see a proper opera at the Syndey Opera House (my Life List called for seeing a "show" which I had done years before, planning the trip around a Postmodern Jukebox concert), to improve upon my #132. A trip to Hawaii is hardly complete without a luau, so I did #75 for a fourth time in 2025. 

As the Winter Olympics kicked off yesterday with the focal point in San Siro Stadium, seeing the stadium and the sites reminded me of how cool my time in Milan was. It feels like a decade ago, but it was just March that I spent a full month in Italy for work, during which my employee and I got to catch a soccer match at that same stadium. I had also toured the Duomo in December 2024, which featured heavily in the Olympics introduction as it is such an icon of Milan. I had visited Lake Como on both trips, but in 2025, my employee and I went to the spot where a Star Wars scene took place - the one in which Padme marries what's his face. It was beautiful! 

While I love taking pictures to help capture the amazing memories, sometimes the picture is missed, or is insufficient, so the moment needs to be remembered in other ways. After working in Australia for two weeks, Sam and I spent a few days back in Tasmania - a place even Australians rarely go once in their lifetimes, and this was our second time there. A moment I wasn't quick enough to capture in photographic proof was when a kookaburra perched on the railing of our house's deck. It was right there! And if you don't know what a kookaburra is, go google it real quick because they are the coolest looking bird in the world! They make a hilarious sound, like a monkey laughing, which we heard throughout the weekend there, but that was the only one we actually saw. What we did see a lot of were pademelons, a type of animal only found in Tasmania and of which we were not familiar previously. There were pademelons and wallabies all over the property of the house we rented. Unfortunately, they only came out at dark, so when we turned off all the lights in the house and stood on the deck long enough for our eyes to adjust, we could make out the shapes and the jumping motions, but the camera was rendered useless in capturing the sight. 


Honorable Mentions 


What else did I do in 2025? Gosh, it was really a full year, looking back. I started the year in Australia, so literally day 1 found Sam and I traveling from Hobart to Sydney, where I settled into the most amazing room at the W overlooking Darling Harbour, with its Saturday night fireworks. I went to the local Lego store which happened to be the world's largest Lego store, how I didn't realize that earlier is beyond me. Sam and I saw Hamilton in Sydney which gave me a unique perspective - actually there is a different caliber from what I was used to on Broadway compared to the Sydney show. Back home in Texas, I saw other musicals, including & Juliet, Mamma Mia, Waitress, The Outsiders, Beauty and the Beast. I went to the Fort Worth Zoo and also the Dallas Zoo for both daytime animal viewing and holiday Zoo Lights, and toured the fun (but very cold) ice sculptures based on the Elf movie at the Gaylord Resort in Grapevine. 

My sister in Tucson continued recovering from her medical issues, and it was great going out to visit and spend time with the family. 

Sam and I tried Pickleball at my local park, which was neat - until his strong man strength broke the cheap racket I had bought him. 

My parents visited for a mercifully short stay and we got to visit with my aunt and uncle just a couple hours south - well-timed, too, because my uncle passed just a few months later. When I learned the news, I put together a little video montage using some old footage of him and my Dad from their childhoods, and then added pictures from their young adult lives and more recent memories. I put it to the music of a male-sung cover of the "For Good" song from Wicked. I was really proud of that montage, and when I sent it to my Dad, he said it helped him finally to cry, which made me happy to be able to have helped him process his brother's death. 



I reconnected with my old MBA friend, Rachel, who lives in Waco. Talking at length with really smart people is so inspiring to me, I need to remember to do more of that.

I visited my sister in Raleigh, and we did a fun hike and went to a piano bar for tipsy hilarity. At App State, I got to do a shot with my nephew and his roommates, and take him and his girlfriend to the football game. 

My former dance instructor from Arizona came out to Texas for work and we got to catch up and go to a dance on two separate occasions. 

I finished the year in Tucson for an extended stay with my family. The kids surprised me with a trip to the observatory which was a great highlight. While wrapping up with a lunch picnic, one of the volunteer docents sat with us and in our conversation, he commented that I'd "make a really good docent," which reminded me of the joy I got from being a docent at the Poppy Reserve in California, and made me consider looking into something similar in Texas, even if it is Texas. 

I pursued my dream of owning land in Florida, carving out a fun extended weekend for myself there, falling in love with one particular property, and buying it. 

While working in Georgia, I got to see some F-22 and F-35 flybys and an F-22 launch, and I attempted to go swing dancing only to discover it was a West coast place, and tried it anyway. 

I also got to swing dance in Sydney when I went back for work, which was so much fun! 

While working in Australia, we had lunch right by the runway one day and got to watch the F-35s do touch-and-go's. 


All in all, I had a busy work travel schedule in between which (or sometimes extending and amending off those trips) I managed to take some really amazing vacations, do a ton of dancing, nerd out on airplanes, make some happy spaces in my house, and most importantly, spend time with friends and family I love. One of the most interesting parts of the Blue Zone theories and the Outlive book and the futuristic views being presented is that in all things, the importance of relationships of all kinds is pivotal, key to survivability and longevity and happiness, and only growing in importance. So this has been a focus of mine to reach out more, connect more, and appreciate more. And when I looked back at 2025, even though the romantic relationship I hoped would be my forever one didn't work out, I feel so blessed to have lived with intention, joy, and connection throughout. 

Go in peace and love. 

Saturday, January 4, 2025

2024 Reflection Part Two


Outside of sticking to the themes I set out for myself at the start of the year, I think I'd be remiss if I didn't reflect on all the other major things that happened in 2024, to include what I was able to check off from my Life List.


While the move to Texas largely feels like a detriment to my happiness, it was certainly the right decision for my career, as evidenced almost immediately. And call it fate or good fortune or what have you, but it was because I had changed my dating profile to the Fort Worth area that I met Sam. He was only planning to come to Texas for the solar eclipse, but had changed the location on his profile to Dallas. He was upfront that he lives in Sydney and would just be visiting, and I was suspicious of his intentions. We started messaging well before the eclipse, but it was our first video call that really won me over. We had been joking about how some people won't even drive 45 minutes for a date, but he was willing to take a 13 hour flight to see his potential love. 
 
We didn't meet up until a couple days before the eclipse. We had two dates that week, both went brilliantly. I continued to date locally for a while, at Sam's encouragement. But as time went on, I liked the local guys less and liked Sam more. We planned a trip to the UK together and before we could even go, he came back to Texas to spend a week with me. Then we met up in LA for an air show and Disneyland. And at the end of the year, I met him in Tasmania and am now on his home turf in Sydney. There have been many ups and downs with him. We are two smart, confident people from other sides of the planet coming at the relationship from two different perspectives. But what's allowed us to make it this far is our agreement to always speak our minds when things are bothering us and to be honest and transparent. We've worked through a lot of differences and those hard journeys have probably made us stronger than if we hadn't had those differences. Time will tell if he'll be my forever love, but having him in my life has allowed me to go on adventures I wouldn't have done solo and seen things I wouldn't have seen without his insistence. It's been a blast dating him, and I hope it continues.
When people ask about my move to Texas, I am honest that I am really not happy with it. Again, it was the right move for my career, the cost of living is cheaper so that's helpful financially, and it led me indirectly to Sam, and for all those things I am grateful. But I hate the humidity of DFW, especially in the summer when it just feels punishing to me. And while I'm getting better at navigating the confusing freeway exits, they still confound me regularly. Bugs are a huge problem for me, also. Outside, for sure, but even in my house there seems to be a new bug every day, often of a different variety, so it's not like I have an isolated infestation that can just be wiped out. It's ongoing and constant but always changing, and that's the most frustrating part. I joke that I figured out the best way to live with the Dallas summer - leaving altogether. My escape to Scotland and London with Sam was the best part of my summer.


In my career, I hit some low points both in 2023 and in 2024, feeling like I'm stagnating and that my efforts are in vain. My boss is sharp, though, and recognizing my struggles, has brought opportunities for me to get more engaged, one of which culminated in a two-week trip to Milan which was phenomenal. The prospect of going back, and/or going to Greece, Japan or Australia for work in 2025 has excited me, and with some fresh new superstar employees on my team, I have found some reinvigoration.

On one of our few recreational days in Italy, there was mural with Alice in Wonderland that translated to this:
"The secret, Alice, is to surround yourself with people who make your heart smile. It is then, and only then, that you will find Wonderland...."
I think that is true, including but not limited to finding fulfillment in my work.

Speaking of travel, this year's first time achievements from my Life List all required travel, most of which was with Sam in the UK. Here they are, what I completed from my Life List in 2024:

#7 See an aurora
In the same line of thinking about the swing dance events I thought I'd have to miss because of moving to Texas and the deciding to make them happen anyways, I had set my sights in going to see the Northern Lights in 2024. A major driving factor was that the Aurora was in its peak of an 11 year cycle, so the likelihood of seeing it was increased greatly. I had originally targeted a spring time trip but that proved a bit too cumbersome. So I went in early October, butting up against a previous booking in LA. I stayed at the Chena Hot Springs Resort which I thought may be a gimmicky tourist trap but ended up blowing my expectations out of the water (pun intended). The first night I was there I tried spotting Aurora on my own and saw nothing. Wanting to ensure the highest likelihood of success, I booked an Aurora tour the next day, and it did not disappoint! You can read more in my dedicated post about it, but suffice to say I saw a great display of the Northern Lights! Ironically, Sam and I missed seeing the Southern Lights in Tasmania by one day! The island got a spectacular display better than most anyone could remember the night of New Year's Day, and we had left just that day. Seeing the elusive Southern Lights may be the next thing I add to my list.


#17 Watch the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace
Sam and I had debates about what constituted completion of this item - we took a tour to the gates of Buckingham Palace and on that same tour we saw the changing of the guard at a different location. But the exact wording preventing my concurrence that this item was done. I booked that tour to be early in our time in London just in case it didn't scratch the itch, and that turned out to be good because then I was able to find a separate time to bear witness to the actual Buckingham Palace changing of the guards. I went alone while Sam met up with a friend. It was quite an event, but nothing I need to do again. Check!


#43 Ride on a red double decker bus in the UK 
The tour I booked did shuttle us around on a double decker, so this was an easy one to knock off. Fun, too, we had some great views of all of the major icons of the city.


#73 Look for the Loch Ness Monster Before going to London, Sam and I first met up in Inverness. We rented a car and Sam drove us around the beautiful highlands to our hotel situated right in the Loch Ness. We took a few short hikes down to the water and spent a couple days driving around the area, stopping at various scenic spots. We visited the Loch Ness gift shop and posed with the monster statues. It was such a a chill time it was one of my favorites with Sam.
#74 Go on the London Eye
Seeing a long queue, I searched on my phone and found that we could bypass the long wait for a small premium - well worth it - and Sam and I were zipped into the London Eye. We took some great shots up there and called it a day.
#127 See Stonehenge
The second part of the tour I booked was a coach bus ride out to Stonehenge. The downtime on the bus was nice - I may have dozed off and snored to the delight of nearby kids - and then the walk to and from the stones was perfectly pleasant. We took dozens of photos as I suppose most people do, and in some we got silly with it. It was really neat to see them and be moved by the spiritual air that seems to be there. I loved the quotes back at the visitor center, especially this one:

"One might almost suppose that it was specially designed to accommodate every notion that could possibly be projected onto it"
- John Michell, writer, 1981


Ending the year in Australia with Sam has meant the world to me. It was with a heavy heart that I kept my plans to come, however. I was intending to spend Christmas with most of my family in Tucson before coming. Knowing my oldest sister has just started chemotherapy, I wanted to be around to help her and her family out if needed, so I planned to fly out early and work remotely for a couple days. Then after Christmas, I'd leave for Australia and ring in the New Year with Sam.

The night before my flight to Tucson, my brother in law texted me that my sister was going to the hospital because she was in pain from a complication of the chemo. That morning, as I was getting ready to leave for the airport, she was given 24 hours to live and being rushed into emergency surgery that would likely kill her. There was nothing for me to do but get to the airport and make sure I made it to Tucson. My Dad picked me up from the airport and we went straight to the hospital. I was glad I was there in those first days. My sister performed miracle after miracle in beating the odds of surviving and recovering. 

Needless to say, I didn't get much work done, and I especially decided not to work when I learned that my sister was trying to communicate through sign language but nobody there could interpret. I was able to read most of her signing (she was heavily sedated so her signs weren't perfect and she was going very fast and spelling "creatively" - ipzza for pizza, for example). It was good timing for me to be there then. We celebrated Christmas with a small weight hanging in the air as she was never far from any of our thoughts. As she recovered, she was able to speak more. 

My other sister made plans to come. I felt like it made the most sense for me to keep my plans - she would want that for me, I certainly needed it mentally and emotionally, and we thought it might even alarm her if I cancelled and my other sister came - she may think we were lying about her positive prognosis. Still, she's been on my mind and I've been keeping up with her progress from texts from my family.

Meanwhile, Sam and I have had some much needed conversations and worked on how to be together better. I can tell he really cares for me and is really trying to be what I want. He is always thinking of me and my needs, and assumes responsibility for the literal heavy lifting and the like. He has been very caring and supportive regarding my sister, and otherwise we've had good fun and made some great memories.
I'm treating my time in Sydney, especially while he works during the week, as a mini sabbatical to somewhat make up for the sabbatical I didn't get to take after closing the plant in Florida. It's been very refreshing, mentally and physically. I came here with aggravated asthma from the smog of Milan, and the clean air of Tasmania and the ocean air here in Sydney have done wonders for my ability to breathe. I'm far from 100% better but much improved over a week ago. And while I'm still getting used to my CPAP, I think it's introduction into my life will give my health a chance of finally going in the right direction in 2025. A quote I've found here in Darling Harbor fits my state of mind well.
It speaks of, "...a sea that harbours anger in a pounding mid-year storm. Yet a sea that offers comfort when the weather's clear and warm, Where the whitecaps сrown an оcean that is every shade of blue, Crashing to a golden shore, that's Australia through and through." - Murray Hartin, 1997