It's Deric!

The one whom I almost ditched…

I met Deric through the dating app Hinge. As it just so happened, he was the third first date (from Hinge) in a single weekend - something I didn't mean to do but just kind of fell into place. The first date was Friday night with Yusuke, a very Japanese guy trying to make a go of some sort of fashion reselling business. The second first date was Saturday night at my usual swing dance venue in Pasadena - Mike was going to meet me at Lindy Groove the following Thursday for our first date, but I think he got eager and moved it up to Saturday.

Both dates went - well - for the most part. Yusuke was much as I expected - I could see a potential relationship with him but it would take a loooooong time to get there. Mike was ready to dive right in, it was all about me. I didn't like that he didn't want to dance with anyone else, even my friend; we're at a social dance, we should be social, not all intertwined in one another. I let it go on the basis that it was our first date, but made certain to clarify it is absolutely my intention to not just dance with him in the future, and I hope he would do the same.

I was least excited about Deric, because of two factors. For one, his messages were strange and confusing, obviously he was bad at English but there was something more. And on the other hand, his profile pictures weren't too flattering so I wasn't sure I'd be attracted to him. I nearly called the whole thing off, but I decided that I always tout the importance of meeting in person to know for sure, so why would this be any different?

Deric definitely got "the rose" for the weekend (to answer what my friend Laura asked), because he surprised me with his good looks and great conversation. Far from what the pictures showed, he was hot! And I understood his English much better with the context of intonation, etc. He was great. When we ended the night with a small kiss, I think he had doubts that I wanted to see him again. But I did!

Since then, I'd gone out with Mike once more and then invited him over for a cuddle session. The second date didn't go much better, in fact, I started to get annoyed with his physical affection, so my thought was that in the privacy and comfort of my home, maybe I'd feel better with him all over me. I did not. I was so annoyed by him, and I think he knew it. We texted once or twice more and I think he got the hint when I wasn't initiating texts anymore.

I’d also invited Yusuke to my house for Halloween, unintentionally, but he got excited about the prospect of learning a new-to-him American tradition. So, he was going to come over and hand out candy to the kids with me and then join me in the hot tub afterwards. But, he was so late that the candy handouts were over by the time he arrived and we merely spent some time in the hot tub before he invited himself to spend the night. I thought that was odd - much more assertive than I expected. We cuddled, made out a little bit, and that was about it. Halfway through the night, neither of us could sleep so he left.

I'd also gone out with Deric twice more, and went to his house a couple times. The last time (prior to this weekend) I had gone to his house was after getting rid of Mike. I was so ick by the whole thing that all I wanted was to curl up with Deric, so I told him I was making hot chocolate and coming over and he was good with that like that's totally normal. Later that week, I treated him to Broken Bit and he came over to my house for the first time. I don't think he was very impressed.

The next day I was gone on a personal trip that segued into a business trip without coming home, so I was gone for a good two and a half weeks. I texted Deric almost daily, and he was sweet and supportive, not needy at all but letting me know he cared and missed me. All I wanted was to be back with him - the last week in Fort Worth was awful.

I got off the plane on Friday and let him know when I was home. He was working but when he was off he invited me over so he could cook for me. I brought my overnight bag anticipating he'd invite me to stay over, which he did. Not only that, but he cut a rose off his tree for me. And, he asked the first/small big question - were we together now? Yes, I wanted him and nobody else. Wasn't that all I had wanted the last two weeks? Yes, absolutely yes.

We clarified some other things about our relationship - not having kids, for one. It was good. We were having a good, adult conversation and readying ourselves for our happy ever after.

Then almost immediately, we had our first fight. He said things that implied he wasn't attracted to me, like I used to be sexy and what happened and why didn't anyone tell me? And then he tried to tell me how to lose weight, like it's so simple, just cut out soda and drink more black coffee. What?!? I got upset, I tried telling him not to push those buttons but he pushed, and I packed up to leave when he stopped me and apologized and said he wouldn't talk about it anymore.

We got tipsy and eventually went to bed. The next morning, we slept in until after 9, and I got up to get some water and heard my phone ding with a text. I figured I'd just check it for a few and go back to bed. It was a family text, and I chimed in. Deric came out and asked if I was up, and started busying himself in the kitchen. I told him I don't drink coffee, so he made me hot chocolate for my hangover headache. We sat and talked for a little bit, both of us quite drowsy still, and I told him we could go back to bed, and he jumped at the chance. We stayed in bed until after 11, or at least I did. At one point I was waiting for him to come back to bed and realized he was probably waiting for me to get up. So I did and he just seemed like a dog happy to its owner kind of happy to see me. He asked if he could take me out to breakfast when I was ready. I got ready quickly and we were off in his cute little BMW.

After breakfast, he agreed to come to my place and hang out - he wanted a lazy day and I wanted to do some laundry so I put on some binge TV and did some laundry and light chores while he hung out on the couch, eventually falling asleep. I put on the ASU football game since he was asleep, but we were losing so terribly, I didn't care to finish it when he woke up.

I absolutely love cuddling with him. He lets me run my hands up and down his chest under his shirt and I am addicted to it. There are definitely things I'm concerned about. I don't know how long it will last, but he is definitely my for now someone. And I almost didn't even meet him.