How to Get a Massage - A Guide for the Novice Unsure About Doing It

It occurred to me yesterday that so many people don't get massages because they are uncomfortable with the idea of certain aspects of it, lack experience or a friend to urge them on, and/or do not see the value (i.e. the benefit versus the cost). I don't know much about the massage therapy techniques or business, only what I've observed as an avid consumer of massage therapy. Yet, I've referred a number of people to massage, who had never done it in their lives and found it so wonderful they started going regularly. So I'd like to share my tips and experience in hopes of maybe enlightening a handful of readers.

Where to Get a Massage

I have been a member of Massage Envy off and on for years. I like the convenience of it - they have locations all over the place, you can book appointments online, and they are efficient with checking you in and checking you out. They even handle couples' massages, so you can go with a significant other (or very close friend, if you don't mind seeing each other with few or no clothes on) and be in the same room together. Of course, there are also dayspas and fancy places like that, and I've been to a handful, but I don't find the quality to be worth the price. You can also have entrepreneurial massage therapists come to your home, or go to their home. As much as I love the entrepreneurship of this idea and the small business community as a whole, the idea of being in a private home, either mine or their's, creeps me out, so I stay away from these options. But, if you are comfortable with this option, I'm sure it's wonderful. One of the downsides of going to Massage Envy is that after my massage is over, I have to get up and drive home, often a little groggy or slightly dizzy (more on that later), so having one done at home would eliminate this need. I will also vouch for the massage places at the airport - they are pricey, but when you're traveling and you're stiff from work or whatnot, a 15 minute chair massage can be a wonderful thing. I usually have quick layovers and therefore don't have time, but if my plane is delayed, I often find the massage is just what I need to put me in a better mood. If you're nervous about going into a private room for your first massage, perhaps getting a chair massage at an airport the next time you travel might be a nice introduction.

Who to Get a Massage From

I'm not very picky here, other than my aversion to hiring a stranger to come to my home. Many people prefer female massage therapists - I presume male clients are driven by a mix of homophobia and a desire to have a woman's touch, and female clients feel less at risk of sexualization, molestation or sexual assualt. Here I will say, you do you, but I have no problem with male or female massage therapists in principle. Obviously, men who want to keep their jobs would be wise not to violate their customers, and all therapists have to go through extensive training and observation to become a therapist. So, while it's not impossible for someone to be unprofessional, it's not likely that it will happen in a professional establishment like Massage Envy or a day spa. 

Additionally, men biologically tend to be stronger, and since I use massage partially to treat the chronic pain that comes from my scoliosis, I need a good amount of pressure. That's not to say that women can't provide sufficient pressure, many female therapists I've had were awesome in this area. Just that statistically speaking, a random male is likely to be stronger than a random female. They overcome this with good technique, of course, but I think it's still a factor, however small. 

Because I tend to book my appointments on short notice, and most customers prefer female therapists, I tend to get more male therapists, and that's fine by me. I have, admittedly, had uncomfortable massages before, where I felt the massage was going a little too close, but I've had this rare experience from both male and female therapists (technically, there's no guarantee a female therapist is straight, necessarily). All this to say that the risk, in my mind, is very low, and while it probably happens from time to time and makes headlines when it does, on the whole, it's statistically unlikely. (Being a little bit of a statistician, I approach life and risks very logically: in turn, I believe that if you live your whole life avoiding risk, you won't really have lived. For example, driving a car is one of the most dangerous things we do, statistically, more than anything else in most of our lives, and yet, few people are abandoning cars and communities with vehicles for this reason.)

I will say that, on occasion, I get a massage therapist that I didn't like for a number of reasons: they didn't listen to my requests/needs, they were late coming in and early ending the session, they talked too much, they stretched me in weird ways, they smelled bad. I haven't had this issue recently, but I used to keep a little note in my phone about which therapists I didn't like, by name, so that I won't book them in the future. I think that's okay to do. I know a lot of regular customers tend to find a therapist they like and then book them every two weeks or whatever, and that way the therapist gets to know them and can, I suppose, customize the massage more for what the customer wants. I like this idea in principle, but massage isn't something I schedule regularly; I book at such sporadic times that it's often a different therapist that's available. For what it's worth, the guy that smelled bad actually had a really unique massage style that I liked, so rather than just writing him off completely, I wrote a note next to his name, and when I felt like I wanted that massage style and could bare the smell, I went back to him.

What to Do Before Going to Your Appointment

I'm writing this section only because I think people overthink it sometimes. You don't need to have freshly shaven legs or anything special like that. I would say you want to have showered that day and not be smelly from working out, but if you haven't shaved in a few days, don't sweat it. You probably want to eat foods that won't give you too much gas, as the massage room tends to be fairly quiet and also close quarters, so an audible or stinky fart is likely to be noticed. I think that covers the obvious stuff. 

The less obvious would be, for one, you should drink a lot of water the day or days before a massage. This is because the massage, especially the first massage, will release a lot of toxins into your blood stream, and you want to flush them out. But, you don't want to drink a ton of water immediately before your massage, otherwise you'll likely have the urge to use the bathroom and will be uncomfortable. It's always good to try to use the bathroom right before your massage, either at home before you leave or at the venue once you arrive. If you have any soreness, it may be good to stretch it out before the appointment as well, to get it ready to be worked.

What to Expect at The Appointment

At Massage Envy and dayspas and the like, you'll check in with the front desk and then go sit in a waiting area. This is the time that you want to get yourself in a quiet, relaxed state. Turn your cell phone(s) to silent. If you have long hair, pull it back into a pony tail or sloppy bun. Try to use the bathroom if you have time. I always try to blow my nose and put on chapstick, so that I am most comfortable. The therapist will come get you by name and bring you to the room for your massage. They'll typically ask you about what you're looking for, areas that are okay, what pressure you'd like, and other such details. For what it's worth, I usually say medium pressure except on my lower back, where I ask for light pressure, and that works out pretty well most of the time. I actually don't like full body massages, because I'm not a fan of how my arms and legs are usually rubbed, something about it is more painful than it is good feeling for me. So I typically ask my therapists to focus on my back, shoulders, neck, glutes and feet. Given that I often book 90-minute sessions instead of the typical 60-minute, this means I get a LOT of attention on those areas, and that's how I like it.

Most therapists will also instruct you to lay face down on the table to start, but some will ask if you have a preference. I like starting face down anyways, so I always opt for that if given a choice. Somewhere near halfway in the massage, they'll hold the sheet to cover you and ask you to flip over and scoot down so your head is on the table. This can be a little awkward, but be assured that they know how to keep you covered and will fix the sheets afterwards to get you comfortable again. Many massage beds have warmers in them, and the therapist may ask if you want the warmer on or off. I always like it on - I've personally never gotten too hot in a massage, if anything, I can get a little cold, and the heat feels so good on achy muscles.

Once the therapist leaves the room, you have a few minutes to get undressed to your comfort level and get yourself situated on the table under the sheets. I take this time to always make sure my chapstick is freshly applied, or re-apply if needed, and to blow my nose if needed. They say to undress to your comfort

level, but truthfully, clothes and accessories do get in the way, so I always take everything off, underwear, FitBit/smartwatch, necklaces, everything. Except for having my hair pulled back, I'm free of all things manmade when I slip between the sheets. Especially if you're getting your glutes worked on, which I highly recommend you try when you're comfortable, its preferable to remove underwear. But again, you do you. If getting a massage is contingent on wearing underwear to make you feel secure, the massage is definitely worth it.

Pro Tip: I used to be so awkward getting onto the massage table to face down and pull the sheets over me. In recent years I discovered that it is much easier to partially lay down on my back, get the sheets over me, and then flip over and pull the sheets up.

The venue typically pipes in soothing instrumental music, otherwise the rooms are fairly quiet. In my experience, very few therapists talk continuously, most will say very few things, usually to ask if the pressure is good and to tell you when its time to turn over, and finally (sadly) ask how you're feeling to indicate the appointment is over. Other than that, I find massage time to be an excellent time to close my eyes, clear my head, think through whatever may be troubling me, or get inspired with new ideas (the idea for this blog actually occurred to me while getting a massage). Sometimes, I go for long massages when I've been having trouble sleeping for a few days in a row, and the massage will actually lure me into sleeping a little bit, although my snoring usually wakes me up multiple times throughout the session. But, generally, this helps me sleep better when I go home.

The massage therapist will move parts of your body throughout the session. Depending on what you asked for and what the therapist does, this could be just moving your arms and head from time to time, or they may have you do pretty in-depth stretches requiring a lot of moving body parts. For the most part, you want to just relax your body and let them move you. They may take your hand and drop it off the side of the table to get a different angle on your back, for example. And they'll usually bring your hand back up and tuck it under the sheets when they're done with that part. For a novice, it can sometimes be hard to let them relax and move you, so my advice is to just trust that they'll take care of your body and let them do their thing.

Likewise, sometimes I catch myself tensing up during parts of the massage. This is especially true when my glutes are being worked, my butt muscles just want to clench the whole time. So I regularly walk myself through a mental checklist, telling myself to relax each muscle group. I start with my face and work my way down. Relax the face muscles, if you need to pick your head up slightly to do this, that's okay. The therapist knows you're alive, you don't have to act like a cadaver in a murder movie. On this note, if you find that your nose is getting runny, its okay to ask for a tissue, and they'll often bring over a trash can for you to deposit it in when you're done. Relax your face muscles and reset. Then, relax your shoulders, arms and back. Then relax your glutes, legs, feet and toes. When I find a certain muscle group is still tensing up, I take a deep breath and imagine sending the oxygen into that muscle to relax it. I do this, also, when a certain pressure point is being worked and it hurts, I take a deep breath and imagine myself pushing healthy oxygen to that part of the body to relieve it.

Many therapists end the massage by a more light-handed, slow or still touch. Examples include holding the customer's feet for about 30 seconds, holding the customer's face for several seconds, or lightly sweeping their hands down the back, arms or legs of the customer. Then they'll usually ask you how you're feeling or tell you the session is at its end. Then they'll leave the room for you to get dressed. Take your time getting up, especially if this is your first massage. Often, because of all the toxins that get released, you may be disoriented or dizzy. It's okay to take a moment to stretch, blow your nose or get your hair back in order. Once you're dressed, you open the door to exit, and the therapist will usually have water for you. Drink all the water, since this will help flush out the toxins. I didn't know that the first time I got a massage, so I turned down the offer of water, and when I got to my car, I got really dizzy and couldn't drive for several moments. If you need to use the restroom at this point, don't hesitate to do so, it's perfectly fine.

Some Massage Envy locations let you check out before your session, but I usually wait until after to pay up and tip anyways. Tipping for a massage is similar to tipping at a restaurant, you want to tip 10 - 20% of the original value (before any discounts, etc). A lot of them will have a little placard at the desk that gives you the amount, so you don't have to do math in the groggy post-massage blur.

Membership and Costs

Of course, Massage Envy is known for their subscription-style monthly membership. It's a fairly affordable way to give yourself one or two massages a month, and memberships or gift cards make great gifts for others who enjoy massage. Dayspas and resorts will typically be more expensive, as are the airport locations. If you want to find a cheaper alternative, see about booking with a massage school; that is where the therapists are practicing and learning, and so you may get a less experienced therapist but the massage costs significantly less. One other thing that helps with the affordability is that you may be able to use it as a medical deduction on your taxes. Talk to your tax advisor for more official advice on this, but just realize it is a possibility.

I'd love to hear from you about other areas of massage. Let me know in the comments what your favorite aspects or techniques are! And if you're a newcomer to massage, I hope you found this useful and encourage you to give massage a try.