Monday, June 24, 2013

News Memory: Let's Keep Journalism Relevant and Accountable

"Where do I buy a newspaper?"  Seriously, I had this debate with myself a few months ago when I was interviewed for an article, and found the article the next morning on the Web.  My Dad recommended I go and buy the corresponding newspaper so that I could keep it, and I considered his suggestion on a couple different levels.  First of all, what would I do with such a newspaper?  It wasn't so significant that I would hang it up in a frame and display it forever, so it would most likely go in a box of mementos from my college days.  Second, was the link enough?  I had shared the article on my facebook and LinkedIn pages that morning, and many of my friends had seen it, read it, and commented it.  I had a hard time deciding what I would even do with a newspaper if I bought it.  Third, where do I even buy a newspaper?  I guessed it would be at a gas station, or maybe a grocery store, but I honestly don't think I've ever bought a newspaper on my own, and couldn't remember the last time I had been with someone else to buy one.  It's just paper, and at the end of the day, it gets recycled because it's obsolete. 

There's no doubt that journalism is changing, and journalists must adapt or be left behind.  News reporting isn't the only industry that has lost jobs to technology, by the way.  Is it possible that technology has allowed a fewer number of journalists to collect and report on the same number of stories?  But we can't look solely at lost jobs to determine what is good and evil.  We must look at the net result, and that is better and more information, which I would argue is invariably a good thing.  While some criticize Wikipedia because "anyone can change it," I have heard it is more accurate than any printed encyclopedia collection, with tons more information, and I believe it.  Have you ever actually tried to change Wikipedia?  It isn't so easy, because they want you to cite sources, and people are reviewing it. 

Nor can we base our judgments solely on the average quality of the product.  I would agree that with more and better information, there is also more junk out there than ever before.  My favorite quote from "The Long Tail" is when Chris Anderson says, “it is when the tools of production are transparent, that we are inspired to create.”  With the ability to publish with greater ease, people do so.  But readers are also becoming more discerning.  As the Internet has become more commonplace, people have developed an ability to filter out, or at least double check, potential garbage.  I believe this is a skill that was lacking in most newspaper readers of 30 years ago.  It was possible to blindly lead people astray because of one news story (reference the radio broadcast "War of the Worlds" in which listeners thought they were tuning in to a real story about aliens).  Now even reputable news sources are questioned, and rightfully so.  Journalists are held to a higher standard, because the audience can now correct, criticize or congratulate them. 

Even more so, I think bloggers and websites have tapped into a need that traditional journalists could not: almost everyone wants to feel like they have a voice, so asking your readers what they think gives them a platform to contribute in ways they couldn't before, while allowing you to moderate as needed.  This makes them feel involved, and keeps them coming back to check other peoples' replies, and see what else they can comment on.  Newspapers are a one-way communication and cannot fulfill this need for interaction. 

So I think it's clear that traditional journalists have to adapt, and that they are now held to higher standards because their readers can correct them.  Those two points being stated, I'd like to mention one of the biggest downfalls, as I see it, of journalists today.  I haven't found a term to describe this phenomenon, so I'll call it news memory.  Muscle memory is used by dancers, martial artists, and the like, to train the body to move in certain, repeatable, predictable ways.  This is generally considered a good thing, but sometimes you have to learn to trick your muscle memory to allow you to move in a different way.  News memory, I think, is always a negative thing.  It is when one big story is followed by dozens of non-stories of a similar theme.  The earthquake in Japan, for example, had devastating ramifications, including the tsunami and the nuclear emergency.  But then every subsequent earthquake in Japan was reported, even though Japan sees hundreds of earthquakes every year.  The same thing happened after Hurricane Katrina, every hurricane was suddenly "breaking news" when it was really just normal weather patterns.  I think every major natural disaster has been followed by copy cat stories that beg the question, "So what?"  It's as if journalists develop news memory by watching for repeats, rather than looking for new, truly newsworthy stories. 

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Ladies' Night with Laura

I was having drinks with friends the other night after dance practice, and was reminded of another fantastic story from my single life that I had yet to blog about.  So in the spirit of Throwback Thursday, here's an adventure I got into with my girlfriend, also named Laura.  We always referred to us as a pair as "Double Trouble".  This is perhaps the best example of why.

Nowadays I dance vernacular jazz and Lindy Hop, but back then, I loved club dancing.  Two Red Bull vodkas was all I needed to single-handedly, if need be, get the party started at a club on Mill Ave.  Thursday nights were the best.  Laura and I would meet there, dance with each other, then find some good looking guys to dance on.  I would inevitably be approached by the most foreign person in the room, wanting to make me his wife / queen of his home country.  We'd kiss on boys, shake our booties and break their hearts.  We'd ditch them if they were ugly or unpleasant.  We'd let multiple boys dance on us at the same time.  She had the rockin' body and the careless spirit, I had the exuding confidence and sexy dance moves, and together, we were irresistible to the crowd of people that gathered at those clubs.  

So this one night, we decided to meet there.  I'd rather start around 10:45 or 11 pm, but Laura didn't want to meet until midnight.  So at a quarter til, I headed out.  I got there a few minutes early, parked and headed into the bar.  I waited for a few minutes, groovin' by myself.  Ten minutes passed, then twenty.  Around 12:30, I was approached by a short buy very attractive guy, and he asked if he could buy me a drink.  I agreed, and walked up to the bar with him.  We talked for a little bit; he was an engineering major like me - nice!  I told him that I was waiting for my girlfriend to show up, but she was late.  He told me his guy friend ditched him at some point.  We finished our drinks and I asked him to dance with me.  He agreed, and I guided him by the hand to the dance floor in my most seductive walk, before kicking it into high gear with my moves.  He was clearly enjoying himself, and he held his own; I was impressed.  Around 1:30, Laura finally walked through the door.  Normally, I like to leave before the cops start poking around, so 1:30 is a perfect exit time, but since Laura had just arrived, I figured I'd give her a little bit of my time, even though she was late.  I continued dancing with my short engineer guy, and she found her own admirer, and we danced side by side until the club closed.  

I asked the guy if he wanted my number so he could call me.  He insisted that I come home with him.  I told him I wasn't like that, that I liked him and I'd like to get to know him better before I go home with him.  He gave me some presumptuous speech about how he'd wasted his time with me and how he couldn't believe I wouldn't go home with him.  So I walked away, and went to find Laura.  She was smooching with her new guy friend, leaning up against a twig of a tree.  I waited for a moment to give them their space, and she bid him good night and started heading in my direction.  Just then, another guy approached her, stopped her, and said something that clearly intrigued her.  She talked to him for another minute or two, then signaled to him that she'd be right back.  She jogged up to me and told me she wanted to go with these guys to their apartment for an after party, and she wanted me to go with.  I told her I thought it was a bad idea, but she insisted that she wanted to go, and that she'd prefer that I go with her so we can watch out for each other.  The good friend in me knew I shouldn't let her go home with MULTIPLE guys by herself.  It was too dangerous.  So we walked over to her newest guy friend and his buddies.  They told us that one of the guys was pulling up the car now, and that they'd take us to their place and we'd have a great time.  We stood in a small circle chatting and eyeing each other, while the cops surveyed the area and drunkards stumbled passed us.

Then, I felt a tug on my hand.  I turned, and it was Presumptuous Guy, back for more negotiating in regards to my evening (or rather, early morning) plans.  I asked him if he would please take my number so that we can hang out; I really did think he was interesting, if not too short for my taste.  Who knows where it could have gone, but at least we could have had some fun.  "You're going home with those guys that you just met a minute ago, but you won't come home with me even though we've been dancing and talking all night?"  

"No," I replied, "my girlfriend wants to go with them and I can't let her go alone.  I'm a good friend first and foremost.  You should really take my number, though."  

"I don't want your number, I want you to come home with me," he protested.  He was starting to sound like a little child.  

"Well that's not going to happen, so take my number, or go away."  

He stormed off again.  Fine.  A guy pulled up with the car, and our new friends signaled to us to get in the back seat with them.  It was tight, six of us in a small car, and one of the guys was rather large.  I'll call him Player.  Player was a hefty, tall black man with a deep voice and frightening strength.  He wasn't terrible looking, but he kept models practically for friends.  There was this one, I'll call him Baby Face, who looked like perfection in the form of a man (an oxymoron, I realize, but he looked the part).  He was a white guy, muscular and cut, and he had a smooth, innocent, and irresistible face.  He was the perfect height for me, not impractically tall (although I tend to be drawn to those types) and definitely not short like Presumptuous Guy.  Baby Face let me sit in his lap on the car ride, and we kissed a little, while Laura sat on another guy's lap and kissed him.  What did we get ourselves into?  We drove first to my car, and a couple of the guys got out with Laura and I, and we took my car to their apartment.  

As if that was the craziest part.  Ha!  You'll never believe what happened when we got to the apartment.  But believe it.  There were more guys there, and no other girls in sight.  I started to wonder what was up with these guys, when Baby Face asked me what I'd like to do.  I told him to put on some music.  He signaled to another guy, one who hadn't been in the car with us, and had long black dreads.  I'll call him Jamboree, because I'm pretty sure from his accent and his behavior that he was, in fact, from Jamaica.  Jamboree turned on some music and started singing off-key, "It's ladies night!  Oh yeah it's ladies night!  Oh what a night!"  I was sitting in the middle of a couch by now, and Baby Face was sitting on the table in front of me.  Laura had come to sit on my side, and her boy toy had gone to the kitchen to make drinks.  I told her we shouldn't drink anything they give us in open containers.  Sure enough, two red Dixie cups came out, and we declined.  Laura asked me if I was sure, and I whispered to her that with this many guys around, we do not want to get ourselves drugged.  We'd be better off playing it cool and staying alert.  Baby Face was looking at me restlessly.  Meanwhile Jamboree had come and planted himself on the other seat next to me, and thrown his arm around my shoulders like we were well acquainted.  

I proposed to the guys that they put on a strip show for us.  I expected all sorts of protests or teases, but instead, all I got was compliance.  Baby Face went first, removing his shirt while dancing in front of me.  Then Laura's boy toy took his shirt off in front of her.  Player danced in the background, but didn't do much stripping, which was okay by me.  When there was a pause in the action, I reached over to Laura's boy toy and tugged on his zipper, and he finished removing his shorts.  Laura reached over to Baby Face and returned the favor.  Baby Face and Laura's boy toy were now in nothing but briefs, and man, could they pull them off!  Some of the other guys in the apartment joined in, sitting on the couch next to us, taking their shirts off and stripping into boxers or briefs.  Jamboree, too.  All the while, the guys sang, "It's ladies night!"  Laura and I could not believe our eyes.  

Next came the massages.  I don't recall who proposed it, maybe it was me, maybe it was Laura, maybe it was one of the guys.  Or maybe it just happened.  Details like that got lost in the memory, because the scene was so absolutely mind-blowing.  At least 8 guys, and probably 5 of them smokin' hot, willingly stripping for two girls they had just met, for free, dancing around, and sharing us with one another like this was a perfectly natural thing to do.  I mean, it was hotty hot hot!  And before I knew it, my feet were being sensually massaged by Jamboree, while Baby Face rubbed my neck and Player rubbed my shoulders.  Laura had three of her own simultaneous masseuses.  The other two or three guys put on a show for us, dancing, strip teasing, and, well, stripping.  It was warm in the apartment, warm with body heat.  I could just imagine waking up to the smell of sex in that sticky, warm place.  

Player took center stage with some dancing of his own again, while Baby Face went to get something and another guy sat where Jamboree had been sitting.  He too put his arm around me, and pulled my chin towards him for a kiss.  I complied for a few moments before pulling away to watch Player some more.  Laura joined her boy toy on the other couch, sitting on his lap and watching the show, kissing him intermittently.  Jamboree was now rubbing my legs, and would come close for a kiss from time to time.  Baby Face returned and took Laura's seat next to me, sliding his arm behind my lower back, and kissed me.  He was delicious, and I could have kissed him all night.  I might have.  Watching Player, I sized him up, and he was definitely strong.  I could picture him holding us down, forcing himself on us.  He would be hard to fight.  I've gotten myself into scary situations before, and I always have a plan to get out, but I wasn't sure if I could fight him off if he had decided to pull something.  

It was 5:30 am when Laura gave me the look that it was time to go.  Nothing had gone wrong; in fact, we were still waiting for something bad to happen, and it never did.  But I think her and I were thinking the same thing: this is too good to be true, better leave before it goes bad.  We grabbed each others hands affectionately, throwing a little girl-on-girl tease to the guys, and congregated in the kitchen for a girl meeting.  We decided it was definitely time to go, although we were having a complete blast.  Laura asked if we should leave our numbers, and I thought that was a good idea.  Who wouldn't want to come back to this Siren Island?  Then I suggested that we only leave one of our numbers, and just write "Laura" on it.  She giggled and said it should be me.  So I wrote my number on a piece of paper with our name on it, and used a magnet to stick it to the refrigerator.  The guys had left us alone up until that point, but then Baby Face came to see what we were up to.  I told him we were leaving, not mentioning the number I had sneakily placed on the fridge.  We made out, hands groping for a few moments, meanwhile Laura had gone to kiss her boy toy good night.  We kissed a few of the others good night, too.  None of them really protested except Baby Face and Player.  Laura and I grabbed each other's hands again and walked through the door.  As soon as we cleared it, we looked at each other with the wildest grins and started cracking up.  "Can you believe that just happened?"  

Then we heard a voice from behind us calling after us.  It was Baby Face, still in nothing but his briefs, walking slowly towards us, signaling for us to come back.  I was embarassed for him.  Maybe embarassed is not the right word, he had a perfect body, so there was nothing to be embarassed of, per se.  But he was now walking about in a public place where anyone could see him, and he was very exposed.  I ran to him to cover him up with my own body, and told him he'd get in trouble.  He said he didn't care, and pulled down his underwear to his ankels, exposing himself completely now.  He kissed me and asked for us to come back, saying that we were all having so much fun and he didn't want us to leave.  I told him it was time to go, and kissed him one more time, then spanked his bare behind and bid him good night.  He turned away and went back inside, underwear in hand.  I wasn't sure if I'd regret leaving him, but I figured, they had a way to find us, if and when they found the number, and if it was meant to be, we'd be together again.  

I jogged back up to Laura, and we linked arms and ran for it before another one came to get us, laughing harder now at the fact that Baby Face had stripped completely, out in public.  "It's ladies night!" we repeated in our best manly voices.  We got to my car and I drove us to Laura's car, all the while laughing and talking about what just happened.  When I stopped, we hugged, and Laura made me promise to let her know if I got a call or text from the guys.  

It didn't take long.  Laura and I were both sitting at a red light in our own cars, when I got a text.  It was Jamboree, asking which Laura was I.  I rolled down my window and told Laura.  We laughed, the light turned green and we parted ways shortly after.  I texted with Jamboree when I got home, and I got another text, this time from Player.  But Player didn't say who he was outright; I wanted for him to be Baby Face so bad, but I eventually sorted it out.  

Jamboree and I texted multiple times, as did Player and I.  I even let Player come over one time, under the pretense of helping me with the plumbing problem I was working on.  Player and I had had some fights via text already; he was very pushy and entitled, not terribly unlike Presumptuous Guy.  But Player was so vulgar, I had to tell him off multiple times, and he would eventually apologize.  Things made a little more sense when he told me he was a college football player.  He hadn't played for ASU, but he had played for a school in California; I was able to look him up and verify.  His football picture had an ugly scowl, and my girlfriend Rachel cautioned me about that look.  When he came over and it turned out he knew nothing about plumbing, I was frustrated with him to say the least, but I decided to make the best of it.  My sister had loaned me a movie, Nights in Rodanthe, and I was not looking forward to watching it.  So I thought I'd torment Player by making him watch it with me.  We ended up really bonding during that movie, because we were both in tears from laughing so hard and mocking the movie.  It wasn't a bad time.  I could have grown close to him, if he'd keep his mouth clean and stop being an ass.  I snuggled with him and let him kiss me just a little.  Then I kicked him out because I really had to work on my plumbing.  A few weeks later I got a text from him saying in no uncertain terms that his agent just delivered the fantastic news that he would likely be in the second round draft for the NFL.  His texts exclaimed that he was so happy, all he wanted to do was see me, drink and have sex.  He said he wanted me there with him to enjoy it, and wanted me to go with him wherever the NFL took him.  I seriously had my doubts that any of this was true, but a very small part of me took pleasure in imagining myself as an NFL wifey; even tied to him, I could make myself very happy.  But I'm not dumb, and I was not about to give it up based on his texts.  I told him how thrilled I was for him, but that I couldn't possibly go out with him tonight, and that I would love to see him that weekend.  I had class during the day of the draft, but I watched the news and checked online when I could for glimpses of the draft, looking for Player's name.  It never came up.  And I think he knew his gig with me was up, then, because I never heard from him again.  

Jamboree, Baby Face, Player, Laura's boy toy, even Presumptuous Guy, and all the others whom I didn't even get to know, made that night one of the most remarkable, you-can't-make-this-stuff-up kind of unbelievable, and hilarious nights of my life.  It's impossible to know how else that night could have gone, what would have happened if we had stayed, and it's a little sad that it had to come to an end, but I will never forget Ladies' Night with Laura.  

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

The Midget Saga - Part 2

It was St. Patrick's Day, and I showed up to kenpo.  The Midget informed me that he was Irish, like a leprechaun.  
Eager Beaver had played a cruel trick on me, known as the Naked Man.  I didn't know what it was called until years later when I met a sexy ballet dancer at a club, and he told me about it.  He laughed when I told him I had fallen for it with a previous guy.  The Naked Man essentially works like this: the guy appears to you suddenly, completely naked, and it makes you feel so bad for him that you give in.  Regardless, the Naked Man worked on me, and I was now involved with Eager Beaver.  I wasn't his girlfriend, I made that clear.  I was using him, and he didn't seem to mind.  It was an awkward routine, because The Midget was Eager Beaver's ride, so The Midget came on every date, every double date, and every time I just wanted to hang out.  One time, I asked if The Midget could not come, and Eager Beaver informed me that I made him cry.  
I made The Midget cry.  
Ah well.  

Having the Midget around was a very odd thing. He was socially a bit awkward, although surprisingly not as bad as Eager Beaver. It was awful, though, when the Midget tried to force himself upon me. Literally, he'd get up on the couch and leap at me, trying to plant his face into motorboating position on my chest, even if temporarily. Words cannot describe the images that haunt me to this day, the Midget flying at me like a crazed bat, or a flying squirrel perhaps.

On St. Patrick's Day, we had kenpo, and the Midget saw it necessary to inform me that he was Irish. Like a leprechaun. I'm telling you, I can't make this stuff up!

Eager Beaver started getting on my nerves. He was useless and idiotic enough, and his attachment to the Midget made it all the worse. I told Eager Beaver that the Midget was not invited to a double date with Karen and The Beast. Eager Beaver informed me that I had made the Midget cry again. Wah, wah, wah.

The only reason I allowed this charade to go on for so long was because of how good Eager Beaver was in bed. Ever since he played the Naked Man on me, I was hooked.

I started to sever the link between getting laid and dealing with the flying Midget. It was a triumphant victory when I figured out how to navigate around the short stop to get to home base. So naturally, it was time to find a new game. One of Karen's fantasies was to be tied up with a kenpo black belt's black belt. Little did I know at the time, she was banging her boss, the black belt, and who knows what else was transpiring within that activity? Anyways, since I was a bit more public with my black belt, I went ahead and pursued her fantasy.


I'm not sure if Eager Beaver was really just forgetful, or if his mom had such a tight grip on his life that he feared getting caught, or if there was something else preventing him from wanting to bring it, like respect for the martial arts. Regardless, weeks went by during which I nagged him to bring his black belt, and he didn't. Then I had to go away on a trip, and Eager Beaver was sad about it. I told him, when I come back, he needs to make it up to me. I was going to be tied up with that black belt.

When my plane landed back in Phoenix, I texted him to get ready for me. That was when the unimaginable happened: He. Got. Grounded. Grounded? 23 years old. Really, grounded? You've got to be kidding me, you're kidding right? No, apparently he had lied to his mom and was thus grounded. Grounded.

That was definitely the beginning of the end. I was not going to stay fuck buddies with a guy whose mom treats him like a 14 year old. He acts like it, don't get me wrong, but that's just not a situation I can handle. I did get tied up with the black belt a week later, and that was about it.

Meanwhile, the Midget was moving on from me, which was a giant-sized relief. We still saw each other at kenpo, and that's where I learned about what follows.

Eager Beaver set up his ex-girlfriend with the Midget. The Midget was so excited to be texting with her. He showed me a picture of her, she was a cow. Regardless, I was happy for him, he was crushing hard and had the potential to get laid.  

About a week went by, and I hadn't heard anything about it, so I went the less direct route and asked Eager Beaver.  The story he gave me is another one of those I-can't-make-this-stuff-up scenarios.  You have been warned.  

I asked Eager Beaver if the Midget had, indeed, had sex with Eager Beaver's ex.  Eager Beaver's response was, "Kinda."  Now, there are times that are appropriate to say kinda, but I feel that in talking about sex, it's very much black and white.  Obviously, I needed more information, so I pressed on, carefully.  He proceeded to make reference to a vacuum with no suction power, which I didn't understand one bit.  And then he ended with, perhaps, the cherry on the top: "And the condom kept falling off, because it was too big..."  

And there you have it.  Around this time, I decided to call the whole thing off and cut Eager Beaver and the Midget out of my life forever.  

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Nerd Cruise


While I will definitely be partaking in crazy cruise excursions such as ziplining and dog sledding when I go to Alaska in June, I am also looking forward to geeking out in a part of the world I've never experienced.  

For my fellow cruisemates, here are some things to check out, monitor and watch for while vacationing.
Aurora borealis sightings
My name is Laura and I will be your Space Weather Girl!  This is not peak season for the Northern Lights, but I am very excited to announce that it looks like we might have significant solar storms during the last part of our trip, resulting in visible northern lights, otherwise known as the aurora borealis
Here are some links for monitoring as it gets closer:
http://www.swpc.noaa.gov/rt_plots/kp_3d.html
http://www.gi.alaska.edu/AuroraForecast/Alaska/2013/06/04
http://www.swpc.noaa.gov/ftpdir/weekly/27DO.txt


International Space Station sightings
While not unique to Alaska, we will get more than the usual number of opportunities to see the ISS as it whirs around the earth every 90 minutes. 
The ISS can easily be seen with the naked eye on a clear night, and is the brightest thing in the sky besides the sun and the moon.  Here are the times when we are most likely to be milling about the ship and open to an ISS sighting: 

Here's a complete list of all 33 potential opportunities to see the ISS during our Alaskan adventure:


Not going to be in Alaska?  
Find your sightings here: http://spaceflight.nasa.gov/realdata/sightings/
Or, sign up for alerts here: http://spotthestation.nasa.gov/



Whale and other Wildlife Watching
There is a strong likelihood we will be able to catch a glimpse of some magnificent whales right from our cruiseship!  While I couldn't find anything specific to the humpback whales we are likely to see, I was able to find some live tracking data on bowhead whales, below.

from http://www.adfg.alaska.gov/index.cfm?adfg=marinemammalprogram.bowhead


This link has some great info on other creatures to watch for: http://www.nps.gov/glba/planyourvisit/spotting-wildlife-from-cruise-ships.htm 


Webcams: http://www.kinyradio.com/webcams.html


Happy Sightings! 

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Let's make it official

If you follow me on Facebook then you probably already know my big news of the day. I've been working on resolving the conflict between my head and my heart. The man I previously referred to as Dear John, for fear of breaking his heart, has made me his girlfriend. I'm still nervous, but it's entirely me freaking about having someone so wonderful want me the way he does. So I'm still proceeding with caution, but cautiously optimistic. 

It's crazy that a heart can be so indifferent when the head knows it's so right. Now that I've accepted the relationship, it does feel right. If I had made him wait, I think I would have continued being conflicted, so I'm relieved that I was smarter than that. 
 
I suppose my heart's turnaround started last night when he was my +1 at a rather unconventional baby shower featuring the UFC fight as the main event. It was the first time I put him in the situation where he was clearly with me among people he didn't know. It was like a dress rehearsal or a test drive. And it was great. Not only does he go out of his ways to do little things for me, he makes it look effortless (and trust me, I know I'm hard to please). 

Jaiman and I only met a couple weeks ago, and we don't have a single picture together. That'll have to change of course. But we've spent a lot of time together, we've talked a lot and we text when we're apart. I thought about making it official last night, and I almost did because even more frightening than the uncertainty of dating him was the thought of losing him, but decided to give it a little more time.
Well this morning he brought it up, and I knew I had to say yes. It went like this:
J: "We've been seeing a lot of each other lately. Does that mean we're together?"
me: "Do you want to be?"
J: (honestly I don't recall what he said here, but it was an affirmative answer... I was busy freaking out in my head)
me: "Then let's do it, let's make it official."
Since that moment, I've been convincing myself more and more that I made the right decision. My roommate, who has been rooting for Jaiman all along, made the most convincing argument: he's everything I want. My reluctance to dive into a relationship has prevented me from even admitting to Jaiman that many of the things he's done and he's talked about play right into incredibly selfish fantasies I've had about Mr. Perfect. I won't say he's Mr. Perfect, at least not yet, but he's certainly better than anything I've had in a long, long time, and its incredible to me how good of a fit he is for me. 

So the bad news is I will no longer be going on silly, crazy dates with randos. But this comes at a great time so I can now focus this blog on my endeavors to become a social media ninja, successful entrepreneur, world traveler, etc. Stay tuned!

Thursday, May 23, 2013

My boys bring all the milkshakes to the yard

I've been hesitant to write much about my love life as of late, partially because nothing too hilarious or ridiculous has happened.  But I do feel compelled to write an update as to where things stand.  Swing dancing has made itself a bigger part of my life than it ever was before, and as such, I've been meeting more people through swing dance activities.  I met an older guy who I really enjoyed dancing with, and could tell instantly that he was interested in me.  Let's call him Ted, because he's a bit like a giant teddy bear that I like to hug.  Unfortunately, he's going through a divorce that just began, and I've already dating someone through a divorce and I would really rather not go through that again.  Maybe if the guy was so over-the-top my dream man I would change my story, but that certainly is not the case.  Still, I've told him that I'd like to stay friends and do things with him, and he took that okay but still treats me a little like he's pursuing more.  That's fine with me, by the way, because I've gotten my feelings out on the table.  

So there's this other guy I met swing dancing.  He's young, 23.  He's very sweet, VERY physically affectionate and cuddly, and great in so many ways.  He appreciates the geek in me.  He, too, made it pretty damn obvious very quickly that he was into me.  It was nice, though, because we took it slow at first.  Texting, meeting up, a first date, movie night, video game night, brewery outing, having wine and cheese.  That doesn't usually happen with me.  He's physically attractive and easy to talk to.  He may not be the best swing dancer on the floor, but he seems to be a quick learner and an eager one.  There is really nothing wrong with this boy.  

Yet, I'm not jumping for joy.  I don't know what it is; I keep taking inventory of what I want compared to what he can offer, and he seems to fulfill my highest priorities fully, and my middle and low priorities at least partially.  I should be ecstatic.  But for some reason I have this strange boredom with it.  Maybe because it was too easy.  Maybe, as I've imagined myself saying to him many times, it just takes me a long time to warm up to somebody new.  I can't put my finger on it, but the feeling I get is something like when you've eaten the same meal for four days straight; you know it still tastes good but you're bored.  That's the feeling, but it doesn't make sense in my head.  He's physically nothing like anyone I've ever dated before.  It's been a long time since I've dated a band geek.  He's a dancer, which is different than the last few serious boyfriends I've had.  He does live at home like my ex- did, but he's moved out once before, and he's so much younger that I can't really compare where my ex- was in life to where he is.  He's still in school, so living at home does not make him a slacker.  He's responsible.  He pays for things without giving me an option, which is really smooth.  I am really stumped.  He's totally awesome, and I just feel luke warm about him.  Sure, he smothers me a little, but I feel empowered to push him away a little if I need to.  Other than that, I am totally comfortable around him.  My head says I could fall in love with him.  My heart says it could pass.  I'm going to call him Dear John, because I'm afraid I'm going to break his heart.  

I guess there was one funny situation I got myself into a couple weeks ago.  There was a swing dance workshop weekend with a 1950's Prom-style dance followed by an after party at one of the swing dancers' houses.  I had actually met Dear John at the workshop Saturday.  For the dance, I brought R, so he joked that I was his Prom date.  Ted showed up eventually, as did Dear John.  Mr. Suave, too, made an appearance, but he and I are quickly growing apart.  I guess it's a little odd to be at a dance with so many guys that like you, but so long as everyone was dancing and nobody was kissing (I had to mitigate some kissing from R), no harm, no foul.  Well, the first best thing was that when the last song came on, I saw Ted heading my way, and R heading my way.  Then Dear John popped up and grabbed me before the other two could get to me.  I felt like, you know, totally popular and like, loved, right?  After the dance, they usually play one or two silly pop songs that don't make any sense for swing dancers.  Following suit, they put on a funny song to dance to, and I immediately started jamming.  I ended up getting a little circle together with Ted and R, and thought it was funny that they were both trying to dance with me.  Writing it out, I guess it was significantly funny after all - because I haven't gotten to the the best part yet.  Ted wanted to follow someone to the after party because he didn't have GPS.  I told him R and I were going to my house to grab some alcohol and that he could follow us if he wanted.  So imagine my roommate's surprise when I walked in with R and Ted.  They were both very awkward and strange with my roommate and his girlfriend.  


Then the three of us went to the after party.  Having danced in workshops all day, my feet were aching, so I sat down smack in the middle of the big comfy couch.  R sat on one side of me, then Ted sat on the other side.  R got up to get me a drink, and Ted laid his head on my shoulder and snuggled with me.  He sat up again before R returned.  I'm not sure if this was intentional or coincidental.  R came back with the milkshakes, which I dosed with alcohol.  Then Ted got up to dance, and R rubbed my feet and kissed me.  Then R got up to dance and Ted sat back down next to me, saw my milkshake was empty and offered to get me another one.  I accepted, and he brought me one back.  Then R grabbed me for a dance while Ted was talking to someone.  When I sat back down again, Ted asked me to dance.  It was a little like volley-Laura.  

Volley-Laura can happen all night long with two guys I have close to zero interest in pursuing, doesn't matter to me in any serious sense, just comic relief.  Dear John is much more interesting.  In fact, we met up for swing dance last Thursday, and we've seen each other, either in public or at my place, every evening since then.  I almost saw R last night, and then he found himself a hot date while I was in a meeting (ok, full disclosure, I thought I had a meeting and I had the date wrong, so I wasn't actually in the meeting I thought I had - I guess I blew it because I could have seen R if I hadn't gone to the non-existent meeting - or did I?  We're talking about R, right?  Oi vey).  

There's just something about dancing with R that is much more comfortable and desirable than dancing with Dear John.  I don't know what it is, but I wish I could put those feelings towards the better man.  









Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Powerful Potential of Pinterest

No matter how many social media platforms you have accounts on or are actively engaged on, you surely have at least heard mumblings of how social media is changing the way we interact, browse, work and live. And like all forms of social media, much like new technology, there is a lifecycle of early adopters, early majority, late majority and laggards. Some forms of new technology can be immediately useful to the very first users, while others require participation from other customers before it becomes useful. Social media, I'd argue, is rarely useful until everybody else is on it. Pinterest is perhaps the best exception to that rule.

Take the telephone for example (notSmart Phones, now, or even cell phones; I'm going way back to the original telephone): it had absolutely zero use to the very first user, because he had nobody to call. What a lonely set those first few customers must have been! But as the technology was adopted by more users, it became more and more useful. Then providers could improve upon the technology and add features, and make the service cheaper. Many new technologies had to be made flexible enough to accommodate the telephone system, because it became so critical to our lives.

The most exciting part of new technology, to me, isn't the technology itself, but the way it can be adapted to previously unthinkable applications. The Internet, as I saw it in my youthanyways, was a storage place for information, and an ugly one at that. But as it gained momentum, people started to figure out how to use it. TheSmart Phoneis another example; it didn't appeal to me at first, because the apps were mostlysub-parversions of websites, or clocks, or dumb games. Initially, app developers didn't see the big picture of how people could useSmart Phones, so apps didn't differentiate themselves from computer software. Now, there are apps that I feel like I couldn't live without; or would need a second, clunkier device in order to accomplish the same thing. The apps are quickly replacing clunky devices and computer software altogether.

I'm not sure if there is a name for this phenomenon: it's like there was a steady climb up a hill where nothing really made sense and didn't prove its worth, early adapters raved about its potential, they just didn't know what that potential really looked like, and then one day thelight bulbgoes on and suddenly we understand how to apply the technology to vastly change and improve our lives, usually in ways even the early adopters couldn't have imagined. I shirk away from calling this a tipping point, because I don't think it's the same thing that Malcolm Gladwell talked about in his book by that name. I'd venture to say its even beyond the "chasm" that Geoffrey Moore talks about in the life cycle of a product. Rather, it's like a moment of clarity that only comes after tons of people are using it poorly.

So what does all of this have to do with Pinterest? Well, Pinterest may not be new to many of you, and maybe you've steered clear of it because of what you've heard about it. Regardless, I think Pinterest has some seriously untapped potential that we have yet to see spread throughout its users.

Newbie Mistakes

I'll admit that as a new Pinterest user, realistically like a new user to any social media platform, I didn't know what I was doing when I started. You could even say I used it "wrong". The first board I created was for my Life List, which had previously existed in several forms, including a facebook app that disappeared into some cyber black hole, and luckily, it was also stored on my computer on a simple Excel worksheet. Being the Excel guru that I am, I happen to dislike the life list apps I've found because they aren't as clever or functional or useful as my Excel spreadsheet, with its filters and notes and dates and possible locations, came to be. Still, since I didn't know what to do with Pinterest, I decided to Pin my entire 147-item Life List into a designated board. I'll admit in hindsight it was a big waste of time. I get very little utility out of it being on Pinterest except for one aspect: visualization. That was what was missing from my Excel sheet! The exciting and sometimes comical images I picked to represent my life list goals has a profound impact on me when I see it. I still refer to my Excel list regularly, but when I tell others about my Life List, I show them my Pinterest board because it just looks so cool.

I say this is the "wrong" way to use Pinterest for several reasons. First, I had to seek out and find every image, many from Google because I couldn't find them on Pinterest itself. The value proposition, and indeed the addicting nature, of Pinterest is that users will discover things that others have posted. Thus, having my list already created, and choosing not to add to my list, means I was rejecting and ignoring Pinterest's most valuable features. What a shame. Second, Pinterest isn't really just about visualization; its about information, too. Most of my pins are merely images, with no valuable content behind them. Don't even bother clicking on them; they will lead you nowhere. Thus, my Life List board serves no higher purpose than a clever way to display inspiring images. Third, a Life List is, by nature, a checklist, whereas Pinterest is not. Thus, other than editing the pin, either by writing "DONE!" after the caption or moving it to a new "Completed Life List" board, there is no action I can take to check the box, because Pinterest wasn't meant to be a checklist.

Pinterest is perhaps best known for collecting DIY/craft ideas and recipes. I cook about once per year, so recipes are not of much interest to me, but I'd argue that they're not even all that useful to the most common pinner. I've seen some people with dozens of boards on just recipes; they'll have one for desserts and one for chicken entrees and one for mushroom soups. However, there is a kind of hoarding going on, and this worries me. With no barriers to "keeping" pins, like price or space, pinners tend to just pin everything they see, without actually curating or evaluating the value. It's a little bit like holding on to clothes you never wear. I see pins that capitalize on this by saying, "Pin now, read later."If you're not reading it now, and you're just pinning things that might be useful, you'll probably never return to read those pins that didn't pique your interest the first time around. You don't need to pin "10 Ways to Remove Grass Stains from Carpet" just because it seems like someday it could be useful. If the time ever comes that you need to remove grass stains from carpet, you can Google it, look it up on YouTube, or heck, search for it on Pinterest. If it seems pin-worthy to you, then read it over once before pinning, and you're likely to recall the solution if it ever becomes a need.

The hoarding effect has gotten so bad that people joke about it, "Look I finally used a recipe I found on Pinterest!" I think mindless hoarding is Pinterest abuse, and I'd strongly discourage it. Not only does it clog up your boards with recipes you'll never cook and links you'll never click, it clogs up my feed. So rule #1 against hoarding is, if its not worth reading the first time, it's not worth pinning. Rule #2 is, if you don't actually find yourself going back to reference certain boards, then those boards are hoard boards; they should be deleted and you should stop pinning those types of things.

That being said, I think there are still bigger and better applications of Pinterest that haven't been fully realized. I have been playing around with this, seeing what is useful and what is not. One such board is my "Companies / Websites to Watch" board. This is a home to the really exciting "next new thing" things that I see, can barely contain my excitement, and otherwise don't really know what to do with. I have yet to decide if this is really of value or not, because I don't find many times in my life where I am triggered to return to the board, like I do with my "Places to Try" boards. On the contrary, here are some useful ways in which I think more people should use Pinterest.

Reference Lists

What I realized is that Pinterest is a unique and incredibly functional way to organize thoughts, activities, desires, etc. Perhaps the most utilitarian use is creating a Wish List which you can then refer your friends and family to when it is birthday and/or Christmas time. The problem I faced pre-Pinterest was that I knew I wanted things that I wouldn't necessarily splurge on, but when my parents asked me for a list for Christmas, I drew a blank. Even when I managed a thought or two, they certainly weren't my biggest desires. Somehow I couldn't remember what it was I wanted most. Sure, I could have kept a list in OneNote (which I used to use) or Evernote (which I now use), but that list was tacky and became difficult to update because some items were bullets and some were pictures and some were links and it was just ugly. Sharing it was even harder, because if I updated it, then I'd have to send it out again. And if I ended up buying something from the list, I'd want to tell my parents to disregard that item. Pinterest is nice, because it is made up of links naturally, it can display prices, it maintains a consistent format, and it can be shared and updated with ease. And Pinterest is beautiful to look at!

Another great idea for Pinterest boards is the "Things to Do In..." or "Things to Try" concepts. How many times have you been sitting around with your significant other wondering where you should go to eat or what you should do? This is my remedy. When I see or hear about a cool local restaurant or venue, I pin it to my "Places to Try in Phoenix" board. That way, when the "what to do" question comes up, I have an immediate list of places I've already decided I want to check out. I do this for other cities, too, because chances are I'll forget all the cool things I've heard about by the time I actually get there. So as I'm planning my next Vegas trip, I can refer back to the accumulation of cool things to do in Vegas on my Pinterest board. FourSquare lets you create checklists, so I have used that from time to time if I'm mostly concerned about collecting a list of places to go in a different city; there are a number of drawbacks to using FourSquare, though, and perhaps the only benefit is the ability to link directly to a Nav app.

I'll submit a caveat here that I think is important. When creating Reference Lists, I find it helpful to be very specific. Not just, "Things I want to do someday", but "Things to do in Las Vegas for free" or "Places to Eat in the Phoenix area" or "Day trip ideas". The reason I find this helpful is because when a board is too generic, I start thumbing through it and get turned off by the things that don't apply to my specific situation. I might even walk away with less of an idea of what to do than when I started, because my board was too generic of a collection.

Another way I've used Pinterest is to pat myself on the back and remind myself of some of the extraordinary things I've done. Specifically, my "Hiking Conquests" board is made up of, as you might imagine, hikes that I have completed and thus want to remember. When you hike five or six places, you can probably remember them pretty well. But as you hike more and more places, you don't always remember them, and then you're talking to a fellow hiker new to the area, and you can't remember all the places you might recommend. Does it belong on Pinterest? Maybe not; an Untappd-like app specific for hiking might be cooler. FourSquare allows you to check in to hiking locations, but doesn't differentiate them from other check ins. Maybe if FourSquare grouped past check ins and saved them in a useful format, this could be the end-all solution. In themealtime, Pinterest is the best solution I have found for this purpose.

Research

Ultimately, I think Pinterest works well as a collector of research. I still assert that you should be discriminatory about what you pin, and not just blindly post anything related to what you're looking for. Used properly, you can quickly accumulate a list of links that you found valuable on a specific topic. Why use Pinterest instead of a list in EverNote or Excel? Captioning, for one. I rarely remember the title of an article, and based on the title or the URL, I almost never remember what it was I found useful in it. Thus, with a regular set of links, I might be clicking all the way down the list until I find that one nugget I was looking for. Pinterest requires a description or caption, which prompts me to think what it is I want to say about it, thus capturing the main idea before I move on to the next source. Yes, a description or note about the value of an article could be captured in EverNote or Excel, but Pinterest requires something, which I think is of at least minor value. I think the big bang comes from that visualization I liked so much early on. While I might not remember titles or URLs, I do remember visuals. Any graphics that are displayed while reading an article get tied to the concepts, ideas and values of that article; even if they aren't obviously related. So by Pinterest purposefully requiring an image, I can utilize boards to quickly identify the link that I'm looking for.

I'll give you an example of such research. My "Genius Marketing Ideas" board is dedicated to out-of-the-box, never-woulda-thought-to-do-that marketing examples. This serves as inspiration whenever I am looking for a new angle in my marketing, whether it be for the non-profit I work with, a personal business, or a new startup. Some of them I found by chance on Pinterest or elsewhere on the Internet, and some of them I created a new pin for based on something I read in a book. My favorite of these is the hand-written board outside a cafe that says, "Come in and try the worst Thai tea that one guy on Yelp ever had in his life." I find this hilarious, because it is turning a negative review almost into a challenge, as if to say, "Really guy on Yelp? Is it that bad?" It almost puts him out there as a target to throw darts at. I could imagine that others would be more prone not only to try the tea, but to then go on to Yelp and disprove of the negative review, than they would if it just said, "Give us a review on Yelp!" It also hints at one of Cialdini's weapons of influence, authority; by admitting a very minor negative, namely, one guy didn't like one of their products, they actually increase their credibility as a coffee shop / cafe.

On the other hand, one major flaw I see in Pinterest is its increasing inability to identify images on websites that I'm trying to pin. I suppose this is because websites are becoming more sophisticated, with embedding or references that just didn't exist or weren't popularly used 15 years ago. So I can be starring at a page full of images, and Pinterest can't find one. Thus, I can't pin that page. I have a work around, it's more of a band-aid than a cure, and that is to take a screenshot and manually create a pin referencing the website in the caption. There is no link when done this way (sad face). This is both time-consuming and frustrating, and what's worse is that I cannot do this on my mobile phone, which is a major part of my pinning activities. If Pinterest would automatically take a Snippet and maintain the linking feature, instead of rejecting my ability to pin, that would solve a world of hurt in my pinning experience. Please, Pinterest, please! Read this and take action!

Enough about that. I mentioned earlier that one of the reasons my Life List was using Pinterest wrong was because I essentially rejected the Pinterest discovery process. But here's the problem: if nobody else is using Pinterest for research like I am, than the only things I can discover are recipes and crafts. Like the telephone back in the day, I need someone to call, or in this case, follow, to see what they're finding in their research on similar topics. To be fair, there are a few out there with boards of interest. Usually if I find a pin that I re-pin into one of my research boards, I'll review the entire board it came from, and if I find myself re-pinning once or twice more, I become a follower of that pinner. So I have a few people who help me discover, and I have hope that this number can grow. Just imagine if 7 followers/followees were researching the same narrow topic of collaborative innovations as I was. That would be some seriously powerful collaboration, by total strangers who could care less what the others do with the information.

So my challenge, then, is to figure out what Pinterest is really good for. Hoarding is silly; it's a powerful platform with tons of potential, and I just don't think it has reached that moment of clarity yet.